“For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love, and of self-discipline.” -2Timothy 1:7
Conversation
Papa
My daughter come; you are Mine and I love you.
Papa, I’m soaking in Your love; I’m soaking in You.
My daughter, come.
Papa, my heart is open to You. I love You and I worship You. Thank-You for Your deep compassion for me. I pray that You would give me a heart of compassion for others. Thank-You Papa for Your patience with me. Reveal what is hidden in my heart if there’s anything more. Reveal to me if there’s a lie I’m believing; I’m thinking if I’m not believing everything You want me to believe, then please show me what it is so that I can see clearly. I desperately want to walk forward in my journey with You.
I will provide a way My daughter. Fear not, for I have not given you a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind.
Papa, show us Your Glory! I want to see You! Show me Your heart; I want to know Your heart more.
Come My faithful one; I will reveal Myself to you.
I surrender my all to You Papa. Take my life; I give my life to You as an offering. I am completely Yours.
My daughter, I will show you My Glory. I am please with you.
Reflection
Hello and welcome to today’s page in my journal! The Lord wakes me up most nights at certain times after He’s given me a dream, which I sometimes don’t know the meaning of but other times I do, and it’s such a great comfort to my heart. I absolutely love sharing what God is doing in my heart, hoping it’ll inspire you to spend time with God everyday and grow the most fulfilling relationship with Him. For the past while God has been taking me through a spiritual shower. I believe He’s preparing me for what’s coming up next. He’s purifying my heart so that my heart is clean before Him. It also clears the way for me to hear Holy Spirit better when there’s no mess in the way. I record the times when God says something to me because even in that, there’s meaning. Blessings.
5:02 “..let all the striving cease: here is my victory.”
(I feel like this song is written for me because of how much I can relate to the lyrics. Champion: I tried so hard to see it. Took me so long to believe it. That You’d choose someone like me. To carry Your victory. Perfection could never earn it. You give what we don’t deserve and You take the broken things and raise them to Glory. You are my Champion, giants fall when we stand undefeated, every battle You’ve won. I am who You say I am. You crown me with confidence I am seated, in the heavenly place undefeated, with the One who has conquered it all.
Now I can finally see it. You’re teaching me how to receive it. So let all the striving cease. This is my victory. …And when I lift my voice and shout. Every wall comes crashing down. I have the authority Jesus has given me. And when I open up my mouth!!! Miracles start breaking out. I have the authority Jesus has given me.) I wrote my conversation with the Lord and wrote out this whole song after I wrote my Reflection (dreams and thoughts about them.) I’m so amazed how the Holy Spirit directs our thoughts and leads us even when we’re not aware.
2:21 “..it will come to pass. Great is your faithfulness to me.”
4:10 “I’ll remain steadfast. .. when You speak a word it will come to pass. Great is your faithfulness to me, Great is your faithfulness to me.”
In my dream my eyes were open, trying to see but everything was one colour (maybe blue but I’m not sure) like there was a solid colour in front of my eyes. There was a group of people in front of me and I was waiting to see, trying to see them.
5:06. I heard in my heart before waking up, “In order to see, you need to be able to see through the skinny p.” (not the capital P) I had the small piggy bank in my hands, and I was reading the small print underneath it (that is what it said, I don’t think exactly, but I think this is very close). It was like a riddle that I needed to solve. In my dream I sensed that the piggy bank was deflated, looking like the skinny chicken we used to do the shtick. I need to solve the riddle; I’m asking God what the skinny p is.
I was standing in a room and there was an adult male leader there who was walking towards me, wanting to help or explain the riddle to me, but I wanted to let the words sink in, to wrap my mind around it so I think I said something like, “wait, wait,” which caused him to pause Then in my dream I was talking with a younger person and said something like, “I’m trying to see, but how can I see if I can’t see.” (or something like that. I was trying to have compassion in my heart for the lost in the inner city but I couldn’t make my heart have compassion. Then I said something like,” if I go once, having experienced it, then I will have compassion for them.” I have to have experienced being there before I’ll be able to see. I believe this is related to the dream I had two nights ago where I heard, “If I don’t go, how will I see?”
Then in my dream I saw something like a vision or I had a knowing visually: Kids were going into the bus, excited and unsuspecting about the danger they were in just because they went on the bus. The bus went into the deepest part of a lake like it was a highway, but then in the middle of the lake the bus fell over and submerged into the water and drowned everyone on board.
In this scene I was at a missions event, in a building. I was looking up, through a smaller rectangular window and it was dark outside; I saw a shadow go quickly by it, like it was a person. The shadow kind of went down, moving down to the right lower corner.
I also saw through another window; as I was gazing through it, I saw the moon, but then realizing it was a bright star shining in the darkness. Then as I kept looking I saw the round full moon in the sky, but it was barely visible. Then when I saw the star, it wasn’t high in the sky; I was seeing someone’s property with trees and the star was right in the middle of the property.
Today at Shopgym our strength portion was Turkish Getup: 25lb (left arm) 30lb right arm) Needed to work my way up. For the workout: 5 rounds of 5 Power Snatch, 1 minute of max row, one min rest. I really enjoyed this workout!
Sensing like God wants me to sign up for all four mission weekends..
Sometimes I hear an accusing voice when I’m praying in the Spirit, feeling like the only reason why I’m praying in the Spirit is to get what I want, like I’m trying to manipulate God into talking with me. I’m wondering if the shadow I saw in my dream represents that? I think what’s related to this is that I have so much on my plate that I don’t spend enough time with God just to spend time with Him. Often, not all the time, I feel like I need to spend time with God so that I can give a “checkmark” on my mental to-do list.
This morning I really enjoyed listening to Goodness of God by Jenn Johnson. Feeling loved ❤️🔥 I’m praying for a rich and filling time with God. May God anoint and bless you this weekend…
April 27: 6:44 “I’d climb every mountain. Swim every ocean. Just to be with you, and fix what I’ve broken. Cause I need you to see, that you are the reason. “
7:16 I’d climb every mountain…
This evening as I was waiting for Bella to get ready for bed I fell asleep and dreamt that Pastor M had come to my house and he needed to use the bathroom. I felt really bad because I had been busy doing something and I hadn’t cleaned it. So he had already gone in and barely closed the door when I opened it just a crack and quickly closed it again (I had my eyes open and saw a bit of light because the light was on.) to apologize for how dirty it was. He felt like family and it felt normal for him to be at my house. Then he had come out of the bathroom and the door was wide open; I saw there was a white paint “pan” with white paint and a paintbrush with paint on it, on the floor, and he said he had just moved it over to be able to use the bathroom. I had a thought or I told him that next time he was over, I will have cleaned the bathroom. I’m wondering if I need to do another painting? In my dream it felt like the bathroom was being freshly painted. I think this represents that my personal inner healing is complete. He saw my dirty bathroom, saw my vulnerability. Today we watched The Voyage of the Dawn Treader and about half of The Lion Witch and Wardrobe. Something that caught my eye was the scene where Eustice was sleeping on the ground, snoring and the invisible people with one leg said something about him being a pig; reminds me of the deflated piggybank in my dream. Being honest, I think I snore and I’m self conscious about that… Bringing my book to church tomorrow as Bella and I wait for Lucas to come back from camp.. Goodnight, many blessings…