Psalm 36:5
“Your love, O Lord, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies. Your righteousness is like the mighty mountains, your justice like the great deep.”
Conversation
Papa
My faithful one, I love you -you are Mine.
I’m sorry for not praying like this everyday like I used to do.
I forgive you Caroline. You are still Mine -I love you.
Papa, please draw me near to Your heart. I can’t live my life without being near to you.
Come, and I will draw you near. I have a word for you. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.
Papa, I’m sensing that you’re referring to walking in my calling, speaking. If it wasn’t for others walking in theirs, how could I ever have come this far? Papa, is this from you?
(Quiet)
Papa, I’m sensing the word, “Bless.”
Yes My darling. Bless those around you. Show them you care.
Okay Papa, I will.
Thank-you My daughter. I will talk through you to reach the lost and the broken hearted. You will see.
Okay Papa. Thank-you that you will do your amazing work in my heart at the same time, and that through this you will teach me how to love others the way I like to be treated.
Yes my darling -go in peace.
Reflection
Hello everyone, welcome to today’s page in my journal! The Lord wakes me up most nights at certain times after He’s given me a dream, which I sometimes don’t know the meaning of but other times I do, and it’s such a great comfort to my heart. I absolutely love sharing what God is doing in my heart, hoping it’ll inspire you to spend time with God everyday and grow the most fulfilling relationship with Him!
I haven’t been praying/posting enough.. I’m going to make more of an effort again. Sorry this is so late; Bella’s really been missing me because of the time I spend writing, so just like I’ve had blocks of time for writing, I need to have blocks of time for her and Lucas. Last Friday, September 8th I woke up in the night at 1:23 with the lyrics on my mind, “You crown me with confidence. Giants fall when you stand undefeated, by the one who has conquered it all, it all, it all, it all, it all.” Then at 4:24 the same night I woke up with these lyrics on my mind, “I throw up my hands and tell you again and again, all that I have is , hallelujah, hallelujah and I know it’s not much, but I’ve nothing else for a King, except for a heart singing hallelujah, hallelujah.” The word I sensed that night was, “connect.” I felt like there would be a stronger connection made during the conference.
Yesterday, September 9th, I woke up at 5:37 with the lyrics, “I am who you say I am. You crown me with confidence undefeated…” This morning, September 10th I awoke at 4:57 with the lyrics, “all that I have is a hallelujah, hallelujah I know it’s not much, but I’ve nothing else fit for a King, except for a heart singing hallelujah, hallelujah…” I dreamt that I was fully exposed in a room, and someone was going to come in so I quickly ran, still fully exposed, into another room down a short hallway before that person got there. I believe this represents my message, that I don’t need to be afraid to be myself and share from my heart. I’m still learning how to put a message together so that it’ll flow and connect with each other.
Last night I dreamt that I was in my truck. Behind the front seats it was all flattened out, like the backrests of the seats behind them were pushed forward and down. I had been driving but now my legs were caught underneath the drivers seat backrest because the backrest was almost all the way down so that it was laying on top of the flattened part behind it. Both my legs were caught underneath the drivers seat back rest and I could only wiggle them a little. Then the backrest went down another click, I heard the click, so that it was even harder for me to move them. I began to panic because the truck was still driving as if I was sitting in the drivers seat. I wondered what the authorities would think if they saw the truck driving without a driver! I saw clearly what was coming up; I was on a one way multiple lane city highway (felt like wpg) about to go down into a wide dip before going up onto a big bridge/overpass. I knew that on the other side of the bride was a wide intersection and a red light, so I was panicking because I needed to free myself before I got to the red light so I wouldn’t crash. I felt a bit of reassurance because I remembered that in a dream, it had all turned out and everything was okay in the end, but I was still panicking, trying to be calm about it as I was trying to get my legs free. As I was waking up, internally I was yelling, “Help me Jesus!!” Today was difficult. But I was helped this morning when I saw my best friend at church. Sometimes all it takes is seeing them and being close to them. In waking life I feel a bit stuck in regards to my message, but I just need to get into it again. I saw a really good friend of mine at the funereal a few days ago. Her and her husband (and kids) moved to White Rock more than 15 years ago. They used to come to our church. I’m not the kind of person who needs to have many friends; if I have two or three deep friendships, then I’m good.
I’m going to end with saying that I went out for coffee with my sister after the funeral, and she told me the dream she had that she felt was for me. She’s really been burdened for me, thinking that she’s the only person praying for me. That night she had a quick dream where she looked up into the sky and saw my dad’s face in the clouds (cloud of witnesses). His face was imprinted in the clouds, so she only saw white (not skin colour). She saw that his eyes were looking to the side like he was looking at someone, and she had a knowing that he was praying for me from heaven. I broke down into tears, and every time I think about my dad praying for me, and that he knows my story, I end up crying. Anyway, the last while I’ve felt more freedom to eat things that I’ve denied myself for many years. The reason wasn’t just because of the sugar, it was also because it was a pleasure that I didn’t feel like I deserved because of my low sense of value. It was the same with learning how to play the piano and other things. This resulted in burying myself, hiding myself away from others (and myself) and not really living. I believe that God has drawn me out of that way of thinking, though the enemy always tries to put me back there. I know that everything is in Gods timing; so when I sense God moving in that area, I will keep going, though I will share with others so I don’t end up eating it all by myself. It reminds me that God wants me to share Him with others so that I don’t keep Him all to myself! How cool is that, the way God speaks to us is so amazing! When we ordered our drinks in Starbucks in Mall of America, they asked for a name so my husband said “H,” but the lady thought he said “Paige.” He had ordered a regular coffee which they made right away, so his cup didn’t have Paige written on it.. It reminds me of a dream I had awhile back where I saw someone hold and give me two or three white Pages, which were the official documents of the house we just bought (in my dream). To me that represented that I needed to work on my message, which I’m still working on. I’m coming Jesus.. The tall plants/trees in these photos remind me of a dream I had that had three tall green plants:) Okay that’s it, goodnight, I love you my friends…. ❤️🔥
Monday, September 11th: I woke up last night at 5:57 with the lyrics, the last two lines of the song singing in my heart, “when you’re home I’m home…. when you’re home I’m home.” (The ending of the song.) (“every song must end, but You never do, so I throw up my hands, and tell you again and again”) I dreamt that I was standing in the front/side of a big public building that had white cement and white round columns in the front -I was standing near one of the columns. I saw a woman being playful in front of the building where she knew people could see her who were inside the building. Then she quickly ran back and hid behind the column that was close to me. As she ran and hid, she looked at me and giggle, and I could see she was excited. I had a feeling like she knew people inside were watching and waiting for her. I’m planning on finishing my message tomorrow. If all goes well I could record it on Friday or early next week. As we were driving home from Fargo/Grand Forks, there was a train that was carrying many loads of gravel, going in the same direction we were going. The town we were passing at the same time was called, Gardner, thought that was neat:) Goodnight 💤