I Find Life

Psalm 16:1

“Keep me safe, O God, for in you I take refuge.” 

Conversation

Papa

Come, I love you. You are mine; I am pleased with you.

I’m here Papa. I worship You. I bless You and worship You with all my heart, even in the middle of this storm. I know You are faithful. My trust is in You. 

Come My faithful one. Rise, I have called you blessed.

Papa, I’m following You. If I’m sitting, then help me stand to my feet. Help me not to lose hope. I cling to You -You are my hope. 

Reflection

Hello everyone, welcome to today’s page in my journal! The Lord wakes me up most nights at certain times after He’s given me a dream, which I sometimes don’t know the meaning of but other times I do, and it’s such a great comfort to my heart. I absolutely love sharing what God is doing in my heart, hoping it’ll inspire you to spend time with God everyday and grow the most fulfilling relationship with Him!

This morning I slept until 8, then took a nap after my kids went to school until 11:30. I’m going to bed right after I post this, not sure if I’m going to the box tomorrow; I’m tired. When I woke up this morning I had these lyrics in my heart, “When I let go, and I let love, show me life like it’s suppose to be. An oasis, here awaits us, all the freedom I’ll ever need when I find life. Oh la la, oh la la, when I let go then I find life.” I also dreamt that my family was going to go down a slide. My husband (I’m not sure if it was Jesus or my actual husband) and Lucas had already gone down, and Bella and I were standing at the top. I said something to her like, let’s go, and then I saw her sliding down a few meters and then I also went. I think she was calling for me to come and then I was running down the slide. I saw the slide as I was running down and saw it wasn’t smooth; all the way down the slide were square type things coming up that I needed to step on as I was running down. It was like a high, low, high low, high low all the way down. I think this could represent the end part of this pocket of time coming to a close where I’m constantly experiencing highs and lows. 

Then I had a short dream where Bella was on some kind of platform and I saw her skinny legs, that she was bending her knees like she was unsure of herself. Then I told her to stand up straight, so then she did. I’m always feeling unsure of myself as I stand in front of others. I think the more I do it, the more confidence I’ll have and the less self-aware I’ll be. 

There are many small parts to this dream: I was in my house (not literal) and Jesus my husbands sister was there too. I don’t remember what she was showing me but I vaguely remember that I was so impressed and thought she was so artistic. Then I think the doorbell rang because I was walking to see who was at the door. I vaguely saw Jesus my husbands brother. Then I looked around the corner of my house to where he had parked and saw that he had parked in front of (at an angle) another car that was parked in the parking lane. The back of his car was still on the driving lane, so half of his car was on the driving lane and the front part was in the parking lane, pointing towards the curb. I looked more closely and I thought it looked like a brown cop car that could have had a star on it, reminding me of a cop car I’ve seen in the states. I had a feeling like he had been waiting for me. I had a feeling like I had talked with him already but he was still standing there waiting (shoes?).

Then we were talking and he asked me to get something. He kind of felt a bit sheepish asking me because what he was asking me to get was something alcoholic. I had a feeling as he talked that he couldn’t get it himself maybe because of how it would look because he was a cop. (I’m not sure if he was a cop, but he held some kind of authority.) Then I understood what he wanted me to get and I told him as I was walking to get it, that I knew exactly where it was. It was a transparent glass roundish shaped thing (a bit bigger than I could put my two hands around) that had some kind of alcoholic beverage in it, and it was in the freezer. Then the scene changed where he was showing me some kind of artistic thing he had done, and I was so amazed and told him that he was so artistic! I saw something like a stack of deep red shiny square stickers that had designs in it; they were the about 2 X 2 inches. They were in a stack but the stack fell over and fell onto the floor (or a table I’m not sure). He had made other bigger sticker type things that could have been yellow, but the colour of these is vague. Then the scene changed again were I was in a car (I don’t remember anyone driving; I was just in a car that was going fast.). We were in a city and as we were driving I saw through the passenger side windows a wide area of road that was painted gold (or yellow) and red. One side was gold and the other side was red. The area where it was painted was in the middle of a very wide paved road that had other roads connecting to it that led in different directions. No-one was on this painted area and each colour was about 5 car lengths (I’m horrible at describing distances). I’m not sure what this dream means, but the colours on the road remind me of the yellow and red sweet peppers I put onto the two pizzas I made a few days ago. I have a feeling like it was accepted. 

The game Wednesday night when I first saw a leader high up behind the glass window reminds me of the dream I had when I was looking down at my husband and Lucas who were by the big truck, ready to go to school I think. I didn’t know until it was too late that I should have been up there. Also, I closed the freezer but didn’t slam it, so Lucas showed me the note and slammed it for me. This may have something to do with my dream where the glass container was in the freezer that I needed to get. But I don’t get it; I don’t know what this represents. Something I’m a bit afraid about is the dream where someone stood over me, saying that I’m going to get a heart attack. Then immediately after they said it, my heart began slowing down and I began to faint. Then on Tuesday evening the lady who was volunteering with me, told me that she had had a heart attack. Also, I think it was Monday when friends of ours in town, her husband had a heart attack and was rushed to the hospital. He’s fine now but it makes me nervous thinking that my dream could be literal. Blessings….