“The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him, and he delivers them.”
Psalm 34:7
Conversation
Papa, I love You. Thank-You for Your mighty love and that You know me. I worship You Papa, You are the King of my heart.
I love you My dear one. Come, rest, all is well with you. You are Mine.
Papa, do You have a word for me today?
“Faithful”
Thank-You Papa for Your faithfulness. Thank-You for this long journey so that I could learn first hand what Your faithfulness looks like.
“Gentle and humble in heart”
Papa, Jesus, I see the fruit of the Spirit in You… I feel like I’m the most blessed woman in the whole world. Thank-You for the good gifts You give to Your children. Through Your gifts is another way I can see that You are a Good Good Father. I love You and I worship You.
“A thousand generations, falling down in worship, to sing the song of ages, to the Lamb. And all who’ve gone before us, and all who will believe, will sing the song of ages to the Lamb. Your name is the highest Your name, is the greatest, Your name, stands above them all. All thrones and dominions, all powers and positions Your name, stands above them all. And the angels cry, Holy, all creation cries, Holy, You will always be, Holy, Holy forever!”
Come My daughter, it’s time. You are Mine.
Reflection
Hello and welcome to my Journal. Life in the valley can be very difficult, but we need to remember that God is always faithful. Right now I’m in a valley, being tested and pruned so that in God’s time I’ll be ready to walk out of this valley, Victorious! What I’ve been doing as I’m waiting is spending time with God and keeping on doing what He’s already asked me to do. I’m clinging onto hope because God is my firm foundation. God is faithful and I know that He will never let me down, and I’m going to stay faithful to Him. He has shown me His faithfulness all the time and I know His love through that. God gives me dreams and wakes me up at certain times. As you read my journal my hope is that even though I’m in a valley in my life, I hope you will be inspired to always keep your heart open to God no matter what’s going on in your life, because God is a God of Love and He always has a Good plan for our life. He knows how to lead us; we just need to trust Him and follow Him! Very often God draws my heart to Him through love songs! My love for God/Jesus keeps on growing as I continue to pursue Him. During the night God wakes me up at certain times with either a word from Him and/or a dream. So here’s my journal entry for today..
Right after falling asleep I woke up with a start; the name Caroline, was almost yelled into my spiritual ear. It was like it was a bit far away at first and then as it was being said, it became so loud that it became a yell (and was quick). I’m wondering if theres something I’m not seeing that I need to be made aware of, something I need to repent of? I’m thinking that Caroline represents my old way of life and Carolyn represents the new. I’ll need to press into the Lord more about this.
I dreamt that I was with some people, relaxing. Then we had a knowing that a big wave was coming so they left. Then I saw a really big wave was about to hit me so I ran to my car (feeling like it was a really fast car), got in and drove away from it as quickly as I could. As I was driving I could see ahead of me from the sides that water was engulfing me very quickly. Then the scene changed where I was standing on the edge of a big flat surface, and it was calm and peaceful, like a big storm had passed. The flat surface had been cut off with a straight line. I was standing right by the straight edge, looking down into a very deep and dark valley. Then I turned around I think. The feeling I had was that there was a calm after a storm. Then I vaguely dreamt that I was with some people and we were each picking out things that we wanted, vaguely remember seeing colours.
9:13 My daughter rise, I have called you blessed. Come, I have called you by name; you are Mine declares the Lord. Rest.
Papa, draw me near to Your heart. My heart longs to be near to You!
Come
Papa I worship You with all my heart. I am completely Yours and You are completely mine.
Come my daughter.
Papa, with all my heart I want to follow You wherever You want to lead me. I ask for a gift of discernment, and I pray that You would open my eyes to see You more clearly and discern Your voice.
10:41 Remain steadfast
10:42 My daughter, rise up; I am near to you.
10:46 “Yes My daughter” (I hadn’t asked Him a question that I’m aware of, so I’m thinking that God is answering the question in my heart that I’ve been asking for a very long time.)
10:47 “Granted”
10:47/48 You are Mine
10:50 Come, rest, you are Mine and I love you.
10:52 Come, rest, he is near (Jesus)
11:09 I love You Papa
I love you My dear one
11:11 🫰🏼
Today something settled in my heart; the role of being a wife and mom. My focus for awhile has been on writing, volunteering and missions, and as I’ve been learning how to hear Gods voice He’s been prompting me to follow. I’m in a new season of my life where I’m relearning what it means to be home, being a wife and mother and what my role is in both. I know that in marriage there needs to be a balance where both husband and wife submit to one another, but the husband is still the head of the home. I’m so glad because that is not my role:) I feel closer to Jesus through this…
I got my two books yesterday (holier than thou and Boundaries in Marriage) and I look forward to reading them!! This morning at Shopgym we did front squats, adding weight each time (5 reps 6 times), and the heaviest weight was 100lbs.. For the workout we did kettlebell swings, shuttle runs and 30 min hold on the bar; my total time was 9:52! It was a good workout! Today Lucas is working so Bella and I will be going to Costco. I had a wonderful time with my mentor yesterday. Last night I prayed that God would show me if He wants me to start subbing. It’s been really heavy on my heart because ultimately it’s not where God is leading me. So I’m sensing that all the pressure I’ve been feeling about work and life in the old is quickly coming to an end, sensing that the flat surface represents the freshly paved driveway. But I could be wrong and I’m planning on talking about the dream with my mentor. I’m sensing to lead a table for the coming campaign at church, unless God just wants me to join a table there, we’ll see. Love and Blessings… ❤️🔥
Aug 31: 6:21 “And the angels cry, Holy, all creation cry’s, Holy. You will always be, Holy, Holy forever!”
6:54 I came into a big room, feeling like the foyer at church. I was by the kitchen. “And the angels cry, Holy. All creation cry’s, Holy. You are lifted high, Holy, Holy forever! I’ll stand by the kitchen but I would like to get a cappuccino..
7:05 in the foyer
7:09 open my mouth
7;14 stands above it all , all thrones, and positions all powers and positions your name, stand above them all . And the angels cry holy, all creation cry’s Holy, You are lifted high, Holy, Holy forever!”
7:18 comsamida (I’m sure this is not how to spell it, but I’m thinking this means thank you in Korean)
7:20 I was peeling off the last part of a cooked egg and then I began to eat it. I will cook two eggs this morning and have them for breakfast… they were delicious 😋
8:17 I saw a picture of a country home. It was newly built and was nestled in some trees!!!
8:27 “nobody hires me” I heard a female voice, like she was saying this and feeling sorry for herself.😊
8:32/33 I saw vaguely in my heart the hallway area that connects the main church building to the offices.
8:42 “Happy Birthday” I was sitting (I think) at a table and a pudgy lady who looked like a mom, was standing at the table, looking at me with wide open eyes and had an astonished look on her face. It looked like she was well to do and had a fitted, light coloured dress on. She reminds me of an actress that filmed in the 80’s or 90’s. She was always so clueless. (hoping I won’t be clueless Sunday morning)
8:56 A short dream where I saw a sidewalk that had a bend/corner in it and a boy was on his bike, starting to drive on it. Sensing this was on a property, close to a house.
9:03 I heard a kid say “someone” as they were playing with other kids; I vaguely saw a kid coming out from underneath a table (and a kid standing by the table, holding up the white tablecloth for the kid who was coming up from being underneath it), and the feeling I had was that it was at church.
9:10 I dreamt that I was in one of the rooms on a high floor that was facing the busy street. I saw a woman open the window and jump out.
9:19 I was in a building and there was a party going on. I sensed music being played, heard the hum of many people talking, and saw that someone had a tray in their hands with many desserts (tarts, cupcakes).
9:24 I saw that a single bed had been neatly made and I heard someone say “congratulations” in a joyful way. The bedspread was a light colour, like beige.
9:30 I dreamt it was something:41. I’m sensing that tomorrow is another day to follow Jesus…
9:34 I dreamt that I was in the kitchen of a house. The main thing I saw was brown wood: the floor was hardwood and the table was made from wood. It looked very homey and there some kids and a mom talking as she was busy doing something. Then I saw that the kid dropped something on the floor, like a small toy. It was like there was a side entrance and there were stairs leading up to the kitchen, because the floor was about my eye level and I saw the floor closeup. As I’m writing this I’m wondering if we need to sit at the front by the pastors again?
Today I’ll be making Shepherds pie for an early supper; Lucas is working again. We’re planning on going to a beach in the wpg lake area on Monday, stopping at Matlock. So, so far I saw a light coloured dress (or a fitted blouse with a skirt I’m not sure, black high heels, and a floor up close. I’m thinking to wear my black and white fitted skirt; it’s made out of thicker material, and a fitted blouse and light dressy sweater. Bella and I went to Starbucks yesterday; she had a dragonfruit refresher and I had a strawberry refresher, both with coconut milk… Anyway, all these thoughts.. Have a wonderful long weekend…
Aug 31: evening, praying: 8:58 I saw that a bus driver had stopped to pick up a guy. The doors to the bus were open and the bus driver was waiting for the guy to get on. The guy was acting a bit crazy; he was facing me and standing right in front of me, making weird faces and tilting his head sideways and back again. (Being unreasonable?) Wondering if God is showing me to sit behind the pastor? I’m thinking that if I’m behind the pastor, maybe he’s telling me to go and sit on the side at the front (he was tilting his head that way; in my dream the bus was on that side with the doors open. I’m going to pray into this, thinking that this is what I’m going to do.
9:08 I dreamt that Bella had just been released by being held captive by bad people. I heard suspense music like in a movie as she was walking free, coming from the right side. Papa, I love You! Thank You for Your freedom! Help me hear You now, in the night, and tomorrow, and help me discern Your voice. Enable me to follow Papa; I really need to get this right!
I will help you My darling..
9:16 It was sunny outside and I was in a graveyard and I saw a young man sitting there, feeling like he was grieving yet he wasn’t broken. I also saw another man facing him, asking him something or encouraging him, and then he began walking out of the graveyard after the man who was sitting nodded his head in agreement, like saying yes he was okay. The scene was encouraging.
9:25 “..you heard it, darling you look perfect tonight.”
(This is when I got up and cleaned the freezer and put the meat and other things back in)
12:30 In my dream I saw people waiting in line, slowly walking forward. (I will stay in the foyer by the kitchen)
12:32 I’ve never “seen tongues.”
1:24 (bathroom) I was in a house that I had been in many times before. I was talking with the new owner, a lady, in the kitchen. I noticed water in the two sinks and stuff beside the two drains that was there to help the water drain. She had changed the pipes to help the water drain. There was water in both sink even though the stopper wasnt in all the way. As I was watching I saw bubbles coming from each drain in the sink, which showed that the water was draining. She was a bit surprised and was glad that the water was draining. Then the two new sinks were just one big sink that looked like a deep purple bathtub. I looked around and thought it looked more like a bathroom than a kitchen.
Then the scene changed where I was in a room and there was a table in front of me. I had a backpack that had all my makeup in it. I put it underneath the table to the left side and was going to get it later when it was time to go. I had put the few things of makeup I always use, in my purse, and my bag had all my other makeup.
I was in a bit of a dark room. I saw in one corner/on the right side, a small window, and there was a man standing there, and I looked to see who it was (I didn’t recognize him.). Then I was going to leave this dark room and I slid down a slope that normally would be stairs. It felt like I was going to go study.
1:48 “All the angels cry, Holy, all creation cry’s, Holy, You are lifted high, Holy, Holy forever!”
4:02 (by the time I finished typing 4:02, I had forgotten what I dreamt and could barely keep my eyes open)
Baby I’m, dancing in the dark, with you between my arms. I have faith in what I see…
4:42 I have faith in what I see…
Yesterday when I went to get something from the freezer I discovered that the door had been open for a while and saw that a lot of the stuff had thawed and the ice was melting quickly. I saw that a banana had fallen from the inside rack on the door and had blocked the door from closing. The freezer had needed to be thawed for awhile so I took the meat and ice cream treats upstairs and stuffed the freezer and fridge and put the bread on the counter. I threw out a bunch of stuff and let all the ice in the freezer melt. Late last night I put most things back after I cleaned the freezer and had plugged it back in. So now the freezer is organized again without any ice buildup, yay! But it took up time that I wanted to use for reading my two books. Today I will begin reading them. I read a few pages of the marriage book a looked into the other one here and there. Being honest, I’m getting tired of always trying to discern where I’m supposed to sit, especially because it involves my family who are getting tired of me changing my seat a few times in one service. I didn’t go downstairs to pray this last night because I was so tired, but I got up at seven to finish my writing and to pray.. hoping I’ll still be okay today.
❤️🔥
September 2 8:47 Someone taking the wheels away
9:08 “We are your daughters” I saw someone’s hand open a door for me. The door had a round silver doorknob.
10:05 Come My daughter, it’s time.
10:06 I’m coming Papa. Help me come.
10:07 I am near to you My faithful one. You are Mine.
We finished watching episode 15 last night. I started episode 16 up until Se -ri woke up before going to bed last night. I wanted to finish it but it was around 2:00 already. I got up just after nine today and went downstairs to pray. Then I finished watching the last episode (16) while everyone else was sleeping, and I sobbed… sensing I need to buy a plant.. I sensed that a few days ago. We’ll be driving along lake wpg today. I’m planning on reading a lot from the boundaries book this week, sensing that as I do is when I’m getting to know my husband… On the way to church last Sunday I knew that my dream about the graveyard was showing that I wouldn’t make it that day.. but I thought to get as many right as possible. ❤️🔥❤️🔥
9:14 “It will cost me tomorrow” (if I don’t go to war) I had a quick picture of a world war; people were about to resume or begin the war, like WW2. This evening we were on our way back from Wpg beach/Gimli/Matlock; I wasn’t driving and had fallen asleep when I had this word and dream. I’m going to war! I’m not looking back at all the times I didn’t make it; I know that with each time I didn’t make it, I still took some steps forward.
9:33 I saw a woman high in the sky about to jump off a helicopter (I think) with a parachute. I was by a person who had a long gun pointing to the woman, waiting for the woman to jump and then was going to shoot the parachute right after the woman jumped. I’m going to focus on God and always remember God/Jesus’ love for me and trusting and believing in them. Today I chose an ice cream (chocolate peanut butter) that I wanted rather than a flavour I thought I should have, and I felt a bit of a victory… Yesterday we went to that place on route 90 where they brew beer; they have tables inside and sell pizza and other things. We went there for lunch and had pizza, and then we went to Corydon for sherbet (I think that’s what it’s called). Yesterday I donated $80 in cash for Uganda/diapers. I had dreamt about having cash a few nights ago and sensed the Lord leading this way. I’m planning on going for a run sometime tomorrow, and reading, getting to know my husband better, knowing that what’s in this book (boundaries in marriage) is important to him. Knowing it’s important to him helps me to know what’s in his heart… I’m amazed by what I’m reading already and I think it makes total sense. Have a wonderful night, sweet dreams, love and blessings…🫰🏼