“Then you will go on your way in safety, and your foot will not stumble; when you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet.” Proverbs 3:23,24
Conversation
Papa, thankYou for who You are. Help me to be who You created me to be. I love You and I worship You.
Come My daughter, rest, you are Mine and I love you. I am for you and not against you.
Papa, I’m so excited about speaking for You. I want to do this because I know You will equip me.
Come My faithful one. I am with you wherever you go.
Papa, I pray that You will open my eyes to understand where Jesus is leading, and help me to follow and not worry about what others think. Help me to have an attitude of saying yes and resist self-preservation.
I will help you Carolyn. Yes My daughter (hearing right). Come, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.
Reflection
Hello and welcome to my Journal. Life in the valley can be very difficult, but we need to remember that God is always faithful. Right now I’m in a valley, being tested and pruned so that in God’s time I’ll be ready to walk out of this valley, Victorious! What I’ve been doing as I’m waiting is spending time with God and keeping on doing what He’s already asked me to do. I’m clinging onto hope because God is my firm foundation. God is faithful and I know that He will never let me down, and I’m going to stay faithful to Him. He has shown me His faithfulness all the time and I know His love through that. God gives me dreams and wakes me up at certain times. As you read my journal my hope is that even though I’m in a valley in my life, I hope you will be inspired to always keep your heart open to God no matter what’s going on in your life, because God is a God of Love and He always has a Good plan for our life. He knows how to lead us; we just need to trust Him and follow Him! Very often God draws my heart to Him through love songs! My love for God/Jesus keeps on growing as I continue to pursue Him. During the night God wakes me up at certain times with either a word from Him and/or a dream. So here’s my journal entry for today..
11:17 rollerskating: in my dream I saw people having fun rollerskating
11:21 Airforce
11:26 Clear picture of Jesus’ face, smiling, seeing love and care. (I was awake when I saw him in my heart)
11:34 “south, going”
11:45 The mighty infamous
1:33 I saw light blue
2:10 I found a woman, stronger than anyone I know.
2:27 I don’t deserve it, darling you look perfect tonight.
2:52 Halelujah
3:44 coffee: I had a sensation (I could taste) of drinking a cappuccino with vanilla flavouring…so good…
3:58 In my dream I saw a woman walking quickly on a sidewalk by herself with her hands in her pockets. She had a light sweater on.
4:12 Seed: I heard someone say something about a seed.
4:18 I saw someone wearing a beige (or light brown) pleated skirt; I only saw the skirt. (I’m going to try and find one before Sunday…)
4:21 “I do really love you”
4:25 “have you seen the washroom yet?”
4:39 I saw an open wheat field and a line going across, which was the horizon.
4:49 I saw two people giving a high five, feeling like the person did it with their left hand without even thinking about it.
4:55 “Forever and ever” like someone was singing it.
4:57 Darling just kiss me slow, your heart is all I own. I will not give you up this time…
5:05 100km
5:08 “you passed the riddle” “egg”
5:09 “I believe in you.”
5:13 Papa (wondering about Shopgym bc I was up so much )
Rest
5:18 Thank You (I heard this in my heart. I was wondering if I heard right; I really want to do whats right. So after I heard it I was able to rest.)
5:22 Darling just kiss me slow, your heart is all I own
5:34 I saw someone hop off of something in front of a house and he had some boards in his hands.
5:42 “working 9 to 5” song
5:47 Ready?
5:48 “Yes My daughter.”
5:50 “Darling just dive right in, and follow my lead.”
5:53 In my dream I was on an airplane/jet and I saw the upper compartment open with a blanket that was taking up all the room in it. I vaguely saw a person begin to get up from underneath it.
6:03 at the sink washing a white bucket that had been used. It was empty and dirty and needed washing.
6:06 I don’t deserve it darling you look perfect tonight
6:08 I met a woman stronger than anyone I know. She shares my dreams I hope that someday I’ll share her home.
6:15 Seeing bright blue and yellow in a dream, with people talking (I’m going to the bbq)
6:19 “I was finally beginning” I saw a freshly emptied cup of coffee (cappuccino). I saw a bit of white foam at the bottom with brown from the coffee, and there was a teaspoon in the cup.
6:23 Goes together like two birds (of a feather)
6:41 “Did you just use your guts to talk to me?” (meaning that it took all I had within me to be able to do that) I was in a room and there were people rollerskating/rollerblading around me and I had poured cereal in a bowl, filled to the top, a rounded high top. In the cereal box was a ball of cereal stuck together (like oatmeal clusters) that I took and had in my hand, and I took a bite of it (it was as big as my hand) and called my cousin’s name. I called her twice for her to look bc I wanted to show her the ball of cereal that I had in my hand and she was listening to some people talking. I took a bite and she looked and that’s when she said what she did. Her name means “God is my oath.” I’m thinking I need to say something the next time I’m in a group, maybe twice…😭 I’ll think ahead of time what I’ll say. (I’m writing this after: it meant to talk with someone at the park which I wasn’t able to do)
6:54 In my dream I saw a yellow sunrise. The sun was bright yellow and was just behind the edge of a building.
7:17/18 oil change: I was on the bus, sitting in a seat on the right side. The bus stopped and people were standing up and getting into the middle isle to go out. Jesus had given me a book to read and I wanted to give it back so I quickly searched my backpack for it. I saw that the only things in my backpack were a few books, and I found it right before I needed to get up. Then I had stood up and was standing in the middle isle and saw that Jesus was in his seat, sleeping beside Bella, leaning on Bella a bit. I nudged Jesus to wake him up and gave him the book. The book looked a bit torn, like it had been read a lot (I’m going to order the book “Boundaries In Marriage” today.) The bus driver noticed me nudging him awake like we knew each other well. Then the scene changed and I was in line to get the oil changed in my car and there was an option, a small white paper to fill out if we wanted that option. The option was to do some things that would lead to getting the oil changed I think. There were about ten of these papers on the counter from people that hadn’t filled them out but I thought that it was a good idea because I needed to get them done anyway. I think this could represent me saying yes verses all the other times when I at first said no.
7:40 Respect
7:42 We were outside and someone had said something and I saw that the whole group raised their hand, looking in my direction. I also raised my hand, feeling like I raised my left hand. okay I’m going to be ready this time!
9:43:44 I dreamt something about white flowers
10:18 Feeling like I was fuelling up.
10:46 “you look perfect tonight”
I dreamt that I saw my kids dad’s truck parked on the church parking lot, feeling like it could have been parked at the east side, but I’m not sure. I’m sensing to park on the south side from now on, even for church services.
11:11 “I met an angel in person, you look perfect tonight.”
This morning as I was walking around in my white housecoat I remembered that I had a dream where I was on the main stage, walking out from behind the curtain, the side where the baptism tank is (left side when facing the congregation). I had a feeling like I had done this before and as I was walking onto the stage, I heard some people talking as they were walking in to find their seat. In my dream I recognized their voices and I walked to where the keyboard was and looked to that side of the seats. I saw there were a few people sitting there already, talking amongst themselves. I think the middle curtains in the sanctuary were drawn. Then I noticed that I still had my long white housecoat on and thought I quickly needed to take it off and that I couldn’t wear this on stage. It felt heavy, and as I was walking back towards the curtains, I began to take it off.
Yesterday I had a fruit explosion muffin at Tim Hortons when I went for coffee. I won’t be going to the store today, feeling led not to go. I’ll go to the St.Vital mall tomorrow before the bbq and hopefully I’ll find one there that’s my size. I’m volunteering at the World Cafe tomorrow after the second service and I’m volunteering for Collide during the second service so we’ll come to sit in the first service… Love and Blessings…❤️🔥
Aug 24:4:04 outside, talking
I’m going for a run in about 10-15 min… it’ll be really hot today. I saw the licence plate beginning with 729!! 🫰🏼 I’m following you and making a left turn this time… I didn’t make it…😭 There was a couple that I passed that I said good morning to, not realizing who the lady was. Then after I passed them her name came to mind but I didn’t call out the name like I did in my dream, and I think that was the moment.. Finding Waldo is so difficult..
This evening was a lot of fun, but I was caught up in the moment and forgot to high five with my left hand after our badminton game was done. The person shook my hand: It was like his hand came at me in slow motion and my mind couldn’t think; when I saw his hand my mind went numb like I couldn’t move. Then after the first handshake it went back to normal and I quickly changed hands and shook the lady’s hand with my left hand. I really don’t know how to help myself. I knew to play badminton because of “two birds”(of a feather) in my dream. I also played the game with the egg and the spoon. I’m thinking the cup with the spoon represents coffee flavoured ice cream; I’m hoping to go to subzero tomorrow.
This morning I sensed to pray before going for a run and I thought that would mean to spend an hour or two like I normally do instead of going for a run; I wanted to run before it got too hot out. I recognize now that God wanted me to press into him even if it was for a few min before going out to run; I didn’t know that on my run would come the test. Every time I understand something after a test, I think I’ll be better prepared for the next time, but the next time is always different. I am learning to be more spiritually alert, but the tests always come when I’ve put my guard down/when I’m not as alert as I was when I’m praying for it. My heart is aching for Jesus, and my heart is beginning to crave and love Gods plan for my life to be an evangelist. Deep inside I crave to be on stage; I believe in Gods anointing and know it wont be in my own strength when I speak. In the evening when Bella and I got back we watched the 5th Crash Landing On You. I love this series and the others really like it too. I found a skirt, though it’s not exactly like I had hoped but I think it’s still beautiful; it’s satin and long. Bella and I looked in every store at St. Vital and this is the closest to what I saw in my dream. I’m hoping and praying that I will discern right tomorrow; I’m planning on sitting behind the pastor and going up to pray for people when the leaders are asked to go up, unless they say the prophetic team should go up because I’m not part of the prophetic team. Love and Blessings…❤️🔥 On the way to the city today I saw 792, two times!
Aug 25: 208 A knowing from my head to my heart?
4:43 “I will not give you up this time.”
6:20: “You keep hope alive, in the morning. You keep hope alive…”
6:22/23 In my dream I saw someone sitting at a picnic table outside and from behind him came a ball that bounced two times and landed on the table right in front of him, right on the food.
6:38 “I can control my sphere of influence” (I heard in my heart right before waking up)
6:41 In my dream I saw a young boy walk close to me, eating some kind of peal from a fruit that had been peeled.
6:44 I’m his fiancé
6:47 “Please make it up to me” In my dream I saw the sun had risen.
6:50 Hope, in the morning Hope…
6:54 “What am I supposed to do” I saw a spoon and a fork. I’m thinking that I won’t know what to do this morning.
6:59 I saw two steps up, and the steps were made from fresh white concrete. Feeling like someone had come to the south side from the east.
7:01 Something about his daughter (Bella) “with this older woman” (meaning that I’m growing stronger spiritually?)
After church today we went to IKEA where my kids dad surprised Bella (all of us) by saying he’s going to buy her a bed today. She’s been asking for a new bed for so long. Now both her and Lucas have one with drawers at the bottom. We ate there and we all had Swedish Meatballs;I kept the Swedish flag (yellow and blue). I had my dish (8 meatballs) and had four of Bella’s, making it 11 and I was so full!!! Lucas and I watched the 6th episode of Crash Landing On You while Bella and her dad are putting her bed together. Her room is freshly painted white. Today at church I’m so happy to say that I was able to understand and follow; I believe I chose the right one when I chose the butterscotch flavour on the left. What also stood out to me was “Scotch…” I’ve always wanted to go to Scotland, Ireland and Switzerland.. I raised my hand for all the opportunities I think, using my left hand; I shook people’s hand with my left hand, meeting someone new. I prayed for someone. This next part I wish could be different; when it was asked how many people walked on water, I at first had a blank memory where I hardly remembered that Jesus walked on water! It had just been talked about and is a story I knew all my life! Then I remembered and showed “one” with my finger. Then Lucas said there were two and I honestly could not remember who the second person was! When he said it was Peter I thought of course, how could I forget? In reality, knowing this story is like knowing who my kids are! This makes me think that this question was the test question? It’s like the enemy knows which one the test question is and blocks my mind from being able to think straight so that I’m not able to follow. I’m going to do more spiritual warfare and bind the enemy away from my heart and mind from now on. In the youth room when I heard the person say “it’s up to me,” I remembered hearing this in my dream and knew this was a test right away and without hesitation I said yes, that I would lead even though the person had come that had originally been scheduled to lead. And I think I did okay!! For the question that was on the paper, I’m so glad the person wanted to answer it because I had no idea how to answer it.. I didn’t really know what the question was actually asking. We’re watching episode 7 in a few min, and I’m sure another episode or two after that… Today I wore my shoes I bought at Target last summer and my feet hurt so badly while walking around at IKEA! I love wearing heals and dressing up. I’m enjoying learning how to find Waldo spiritually, but when I don’t understand things (like my example above) or when I’m not able to follow is so heart crushing…Overall I’m deeply full of joy because I know that God/Holy Spirit is teaching me how to discern His voice and is growing my courage to follow Him and Jesus and is growing my love and trust for them… Love, from my heart to yours… 🫰🏼
I just want to say that while I was waiting in the truck as Bella’s bed was being loaded into the truck on IKEA’s parking lot, I saw the licence plate (red dragon); I can’t remember it exactly. We only watched one episode today, episode 7. We didn’t go to subzero yet but I’m planning on going this week and I’m hoping to order the book tomorrow. Goodnight