“Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him.” James 1:12
Conversation
Papa, I bless Your name. I worship You and I lift Your name above it all.
My daughter, I love you.
Papa, help me see myself as You see me, not how others see me. It’s hard not to notice the waves, how others avoid looking at me because of my acts of faith.
I love you with an everlasting love My faithful one, and I’m proud to call you Mine. Come, rest in Me.
Papa, I heard the word, wisdom. Draw me deeply into You so that I will be fully saturated in Your presence. Anoint me to do the work You’ve called me to do.
Come, have faith. You are My daughter.
Reflection
Hello and welcome to my journal. Life in the valley can be very difficult, but we need to remember that God is always faithful. Right now I’m in a valley, being tested and pruned so that in God’s time I’ll be ready to walk out of this valley, Victorious. What I’ve been doing as I’m waiting is spending time with God and keeping on doing what He’s already asked me to do. I’m clinging onto hope because God is my firm foundation. God is faithful and I know that He will never let me down, and I’m going to stay faithful to Him. He has shown me His faithfulness all the time and I know His love through that. God gives me dreams and wakes me up at certain times. As you read my journal my hope is that even though I’m in a valley in my life, I hope you will be inspired to always keep your heart open to God no matter what’s going on in your life, because God is a God of Love and He always has a Good plan for our life. He knows how to lead us; we just need to trust Him and follow Him! Very often God draws my heart to Him through songs and intimacy with Him in dreams, because as part of the bride of Christ, Jesus is my husband. My love for God/Jesus keeps on growing as I continue to pursue Him. During the night God wakes me up at certain times with either a word from Him and/or a dream. So here’s my journal entry for today…
March 3: 11:47
12:15 “Hallelujah, death has lost its grip on me.” The came to mind as I was awake.
4:32 “I’m running back to you” (Seph Schlueter)
5:05 “How great thou art, how great though art.“
6:31 “Always sharing?” I quick vision of a woman looking a bit sternly at me. I had seen something but I thought it could have been me. I saw a half of a pink sunset and someone saying the word, “stranded.” (I’m sorry Papa.) There was a vertical line that was in the middle of the sunset (or sunrise), only seeing the right side.
6:40? (I saw 6:41 but I didn’t look at the time right away) I was standing in line and my kids dad came and said something to me I think. He could have had a pen and a paper.
6:47 “Ends of a wild road”
6:56 “lay down his sweet head” (Christmas song) I heard someone singing this, but the notes were high and then coming down. (“Lay down” was one note and “his sweet head” were three notes, one note for each word, and each word going one note lower.)
7:12 A dream that someone came to me and quietly said, “your iPad. You want me to come and fix it, so come.”
7:18 Someone said something like, “overwhelmed out there”
7:21 Women were talking (felt like Soar), and I think I heard the word “changes,” but I’m not sure.
7:24 “Stairway to Heaven “
7:56 A lady said “going to Paraguay” in my dream it felt like I was at church. I saw someone who works there going out of her office and putting her hands on the doorways or doorframes to anoint them as she was walking; she wasn’t doing it like she was going somewhere anyway, she was doing it because this was the purpose for her walk. I knew she was anointed and that as she touched the doorframes, the anointing of God would be on the doorframes. I felt like I didn’t have Gods anointing so I only touched a few.
I saw a magazine on the floor (behind something like a toilet, though I’m not sure it was a toilet, so I picket it up.) At first I thought it was a Christmas catalogue (it was thick), and I began to get really excited. I wanted to show Bella but then I saw it wasn’t a Christmas catalogue but a catalogue from a different store. Then I said that I was tired and was going home, or I felt tired and said I was going home.
I dreamt that Lucas’ teeth were crooked and that he needed braces. In waking life his teeth are perfectly straight. I’m wondering what teeth represent?
11:56 I was sitting quietly before God in my heart and for a moment I fell asleep and I saw a lady’s face right in front of my face. She had blonde hair or there was a lot of light coming from her face and hair. She was looking intently at me with her eyes big and round. There was a lot of light coming from her. I believe this represents quietly sitting in God’s presence; During this time I had several visions (one could have been a dream); The first one was someone putting a suitcase into the trunk of their car. Then a few minutes later a picture of two friends, seeing their backs, walking, and one had an arm around her friend. Then a picture of a grocery store, seeing the checkout area. Then I had a short dream or vision of people in their swimming trunks. Then a picture of keys and lanyards hanging from a doorknob, feeling like friends had come over.
After church my kids and I went to Sobeys and got a salad (Lucas had sushi). Then we went to the mall to get a few things (Bath and Bodyworks). I saw the wide drawer in a store like in my dream, looking for personal items, and I bought a fragrance mist from B &BW. In church as I was partaking in communion I was looking up and saw the #35 on red tape or something, reminding me of a story I heard awhile ago about someone seeing a number by the ceiling while in the hospital. Wondering because of my acts of faith and have gone onto the stage and talked with my pastor means that I’ve been marked by God; I’ve been called by God and that He equips the called.
Blessings…
March 4 1:38 “Back to the table, I’m running back to you.”
2:17 “Then sealed the promise, I’m yours forever…” I had a picture of some doors.
3:20 While being quiet before God I had a picture of a toddlers hand, resting on the parents’ hand. It looked so peaceful…
7:33 “I don’t believe in” These words were sung, going higher by the end of the sentence; the last word, “in” was higher than the other notes and had two notes going up. In the dream I was in a room with many people. On the right side of the room there were wooden handles that were hanging horizontally from the ceiling, and there were many people hanging onto them as it was going from one side of the room to the other. I was hanging on one of them, trying to lift myself up by my elbows. I was also trying to lift up my legs straight in front of me at the same time. I succeeded once and I was trying to do it again. In waking life it’s difficult for me to believe that I can actually meet God’s high standards. I know that it’s only through Christ that I’m able to do anything, but it’s been so long, with so many failures that it’s hard to keep clinging onto hope.
In this dream I had my red dress on and was sitting in a chair. There was someone standing close to me and I vaguely saw that he had something in his hand. Then a big man came and sat on my lap, preventing me from seeing anything or being able to get up. I believe this represents my journey with not being able to see clearly or not being able to discern Gods voice accurately.
A girl, about 13 years of age, came to me and told me she was my daughter. She had straight, layered, light brown, kind of blonde hair that framed her face. I believed her but I was thinking about my past, not remembering how she could logically be my daughter since I have only been with my kids dad. But I believed her. I saw her mom and dad. They had other kids too. At first the mom was kind to me but then I sensed they didn’t want me to be near them. I wanted to be close to my daughter but held back because I saw that her parents didn’t want me to be near her.
In this scene I was looking for my glasses. There was a lot of mess that I was looking through. I saw my old glasses and thought that maybe they would help me to see better. So I put them on and everything was blurry. So I took off my old glasses and continued to search for my current glasses. Then I saw my sunglasses on the side of the mess (in my dream these were my current glasses) and as I reached for them I was so glad that I had found them. I also saw some black headphones (the kind that covers the ears), and I had a feeling like these were meant to put over my eyes like they were glasses. I also dreamt that I saw my hand and thought it looked pudgy.
9:04 “I do believe, in greater things, like the power, the power of Jesus. Let faith arise, in the power, the power of Jesus.”
9:34 “I love you Lord, oh Your mercies never fail me. All my days, I’ve been held in Your hand. From the moment that I wake up, until I lay my head. I will sing, of the goodness of God. All my life You have been faithful. All my life You have been so, so good. With every breath that I am able, I will sing, of the goodness of God. I love your voice..” I had just finished reading scripture when these lyrics came to my mind. Even though I’ve been dealing with so much difficulty, I know deep in my heart that everything will be okay… 🙏🏼 Today I have a bit of a headache. I’m going to make spaghetti and caesar salad for supper. I’m not sure yet what I’ll have. I’m also going to do my Bible study in preparation for Thursday.
Hey, I hope everyone’s well… I feel like such a babe; Today I learned what Lent is. Basically fasting something for 40 days until Easter. I heard the guy who acts as Jesus on The Chosen talk about it today. Bella’s friends asked her today if she’s doing anything for Lent and Bella asked them what it was, so I thought it was neat that we heard about it on the same day. I actually heard the word before but didn’t really realize what it was. I’m still on my fast from before so I’m not sure what I’ll do. Bella’s fasting from sugar with her friends. Changing the subject, Lucas’ class is going to a hospital next week in the city to learn more about internal organs and will be dissecting a heart, thought that was neat. Blessings…🙏🏼