“But I am like an olive tree flourishing in the house of God; I trust in God’s unfailing love for ever and ever.” Psalm 52:8
Conversation
Papa, I love You.
I love you My darling; you are Mine. Come, all is well with you.
Papa, all I want is to be close to You. You are my safe place.
Rest
Thank-You Papa that it’s done and that I don’t need to do anything anymore. I think I’ve shown You that I can go through opposition for You. Having said that, I don’t even know if everything I did is what You were asking. I know I’ve made many mistakes, but even through them I’ve shown resilience and faithfulness to You.
Yes you have My daughter. Come and rest in Me.
Reflection
Hello and welcome to my journal. Life in the valley can be very difficult, but we need to remember that God is always faithful. Right now I’m in a valley, being tested and pruned so that in God’s time I’ll be ready to walk out of this valley, Victorious! What I’ve been doing as I’m waiting is spending time with God and keeping on doing what He’s already asked me to do. I’m clinging onto hope because God is my firm foundation. God is faithful and I know that He will never let me down, and I’m going to stay faithful to Him. He has shown me His faithfulness all the time and I know His love through that. God gives me dreams and wakes me up at certain times. As you read my journal my hope is that even though I’m in a valley in my life, I hope you will be inspired to always keep your heart open to God no matter what’s going on in your life, because God is a God of Love and He always has a Good plan for our life. He knows how to lead us; we just need to trust Him and follow Him! Very often God draws my heart to Him through love songs or intimacy with Him in dreams, because as part of the bride of Christ, Jesus is my husband. My love for God/Jesus keeps on growing as I continue to pursue Him. During the night God wakes me up at certain times with either a word from Him and/or a dream. So here’s my journal entry for today..
10:06 “Too far”
11:31 “Chestnuts roasting on an open fire”
4:13 Happy holidays to you…”
4:21 “…He lay, but little Lord Jesus asleep on the hay.”
4:33 Happy holidays, to you”
I think I had a dream about a water bottle with a cap on (sometime in the night)
5:38 “I hate going out in the storm, but if you really hold me tight, all the way home I’ll be warm.”
6:19 Let it snow let it snow let it snow.”
I was at church in the foyer (it looked different in my dream). As people were waiting to go in, a group of friends were hearing songs and were worshiping, so I also raised my hands a little. As I was waiting I could see people in the sanctuary, and was a bit surprised that they all left, so when I walked in, it was basically empty. I saw that behind where the pastor preached there were pews where people also sat (but they were empty). Beside the isle where the pastor walked as he was preaching, there was a long box where people went into as there seat but they were playing in it like they were kids. It was in the front on the right side. I also saw two excited people sitting down on two seats on the right side facing the main congregation. The seats were like theatre seats.
There was a scene where I sat down to go to the bathroom outside of the church building; I was self conscious so I couldn’t go because I was in the public. There was a white fence beside the white toilet, and there could have been a small dog I’m not sure. There was a live green synthetic bird close to me hopping on the fence. So then I got up and wanted to go to the bathroom inside an actual bathroom, and I saw that in both bathrooms the toilets were filled to the top and clogged, so I didn’t go. The toilets I saw were like big white round bins.
There was a scene where I was outside in a big wooden box. There was someone else in the box too who was bending down so I didn’t notice as the box started moving. The box was remote controlled and was moving up high and taking us for a ride. I was having a lot of fun. I noticed the cameras and was smiling as the box passed them. I vaguely remember turning around but I’m not sure. Then it was like I was on round two and the box went even higher than before. This time I was surprised and a bit overwhelmed, holding my breath and hanging onto the sides of the box as we went higher than the roof. I saw a tech person sitting at his desk on the roof, doing something technical.
7:02 “It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas, everywhere we go…”
7:04 I saw a red plaid jacket.
8:25 I heard something about taking a little break. I slept a bit passed my alarm. I remembered this evening that I had vaguely seen some numbers, and the last number was an X, feeling in my dream that it represented the Roman numeral 10. If I’m wrong then I’m praying that God will show me.
The gathering on Saturday went okay. Bella and I went for about three hours; we left around 5. When it was my turn to share I told them that this year I was at home and that I’m planning on staying home next year. Then I shared about Lucas and a bit about his dad’s work. In the kitchen later I told one of the sister-in-laws that subbing isn’t God’s calling for me. I’m planning on telling my kids dad again after Christmas, and I know this will be very difficult. I feel like I would be like Peter when he denied knowing Jesus three times if I didn’t tell the truth; I thought I heard one of the kids from Wednesday’s youth asking if the reason why I wasn’t going was because of work, so because that was what I was thinking a few weeks ago, I agreed with it. Then afterwards I felt like I was like Peter when he denied that he knew Jesus. So since then I cannot say that I’m going back to subbing because I’m not; it isn’t my calling, and I know that for sure. People won’t agree with me but it’s not them who will need to answer to God about my life. Goodnight…
December 23: 2:47 In my dream my brother Peter I think was talking with my sister Connie and then he left. Then Connie looked concerned, looking down and came to me. I asked if everything was okay, and I began praying in my prayer language and I started kneeling on the floor. This reminds me of when at church I quickly left the sanctuary after the service was done, and I’m feeling like I should have stayed longer. .
2:50 “safe” At night after my dream I began praying in my prayer language, really distraught, when I heard the word, safe, in my heart.
3:47 Happy holidays.
6:42 I had a dream where there were two baskets underneath a table that I think belonged to my kids. They were their baskets of clothing. I had adjusted it to how it was right somehow. There was a part where they were like two baskets of noodles and I saw something in one of the baskets that I took out to make it clean (like if there was a hair and I took it out). Then I saw a sticker, a golden star in the basket. I looked closely at it, and I’m not sure if I picked it up. It was in the same basket as the one that I took the other thing out to make it clean. The baskets were together on the left side.
I forgot to mention that at the gathering when each number was called, we put a new or gently used winter clothing item into a box to give to an organization who gives to those in need. Bella and I gave two winter jackets away, ones that my kids had outgrown. At the gathering while sitting at the table someone was telling a story about some teachers who had been putting a sticker on some students to make them sleep half the day. When the principle found out about it they got “fired.”
8:15 “Joy, unspeakable Joy” (song)
8:25 In my dream I was happy about something. I vaguely heard “half.”
8:27 “13 year old Fn “
8:30 “hockey has made you strong.”
8:32 “On the wings of a snow white dove”
8:33 passed
8:37 “a million dreams”
8:38 “One thing I did right when I exercised” I heard this like a person was talking to a group of people after they had done something.
8:45 In a vision I saw a baby with cute chubby cheeks, and her face was a bit red.
8:48 “Joy, unspeakable Joy. An overflowing well..”
8:53 “…his love for me. Sing Hosanna, sing Hosanna, sing Hosanna to the King of kings.”
8:58 a vision of dipping apple slices in chocolate fondue.
9:08 “and I will rejoice in the Lord.”(Singing)
9:26 “stand up”
9:27 “Let faith arise”
9:30 “perfect”
9:33 In a vision (vague) I saw two kids on a bike (one was getting a ride). They were in the middle of a highway and it was night. I stood watching them and saying something like they should keep their jacket on (to keep warm). I saw their back as they were riding away… Blessings…