God’s Grace Again

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10

Conversation

Papa, I praise Your Holy name and I worship You with all my heart. Thank-You for Your forgiveness about not following yesterday. 

I love you My darling. Rest. Come, for I am drawing near to you. 

Papa, I’m so humbled. I love You so much.

I will always love you Carolyn. Come and rest, for you are Mine.

Reflection

Hello and welcome to my Journal. Life in the valley can be very difficult, but we need to remember that God is always faithful. Right now I’m in a valley, being tested and pruned so that in God’s time I’ll be ready to walk out of this valley, Victorious!  What I’ve been doing so I don’t stay in a place of despair is spending time with God and crying out to Him because I know He hears me and He loves me. I’m keeping on doing what He’s already asked me to do. I’m clinging onto hope because God is my firm foundation. God is faithful and I know that He will never let me down, and I’m going to stay faithful to Him. He has shown me His faithfulness more times than I can count, and I know His love through that. God gives me dreams and wakes me up at certain times. As you read my journal my hope is that even though I’m in a valley in my life, I hope you will be inspired to always keep your heart open to God no matter what’s going on in your life, because God is a God of Love and He always has a Good plan for our life. He knows how to lead us; we just need to trust Him and follow Him! 

7:47 I dreamt I had been wearing my glasses that had a tag on them, like I had just bought them. Then I saw another bigger tag on a pair of glasses; this tag had a square bar code. 

Yesterday Bella rested her head in the bend of my arm while we were sitting outside at a picnic table eating icecream (we were just done). It reminds me of the dream I had about Jesus my husband had rested his head in the bend of my arm. Then all of a sudden he lifted his head and wanted to go home. I’m not sure if this applies to now or before.. 

In my prayer time this morning:

Papa, I’m understanding Your love for me better now, and now I’m a wreck. 

8:07 Come My darling. I have made a way where there was no way. You are Mine, always.

8:08 Papa, I accept Your calling in my life. 

8:10 Papa, I see the word, Relationship, in my heart; what it is has taken on a new meaning for me. It feels like my heart has expanded or grown like there’s something filling it, and I know this is You Papa. Fill me Papa with Your love.. I’m so desperate and thankful for your love… I want to be who You want me to be. Papa, I’m surrendered into Your hands. I want the calling You have for me, for my life. 

8:24 Come My daughter, it’s yours. Come, follow me, and I will make you a fisher of man. 

8:30 “I’m out in the waves and I’m hoping and praying please let this wind blow me home…”

8:38 Rest My daughter, I’m coming.

8:41 Papa, I’m walking forward because I know Your love and Jesus’ love deep in my heart, and it has everything to do with a real relationship, one that’s alive and breathing. 

8:44 Yes!! (I heard/saw in my heart)

8:47 Papa, please don’t give up on me..

I will never give up on you My faithful one. Come, light has come. You are Mine and I love you. 

This next part I had lost hope and was laying in my bed, hoping that God would reassure me through a dream. But because I had lost hope I think it opened a door to the enemy. I should not have allowed myself to sleep while I was in that state of mind.

8:50 Rest 

9:04 “Seventh Day Adventist”

9:06 “everyone is sick” I also saw a women from the side, wearing a brown dress and leaning against a wall. 

9:11 “I know you…” I saw a man with his kids in a restaurant. Two boys who were standing on his lap. I think this represents that I had lost hope.

9:30 I was standing in our kitchen, someone was saying something or praying I’m not sure; she was standing in front of my kids dad who had a red shirt on who was bending down towards the floor. I think this represents going up for prayer if there’s prayer time. Or it could mean that I was discouraged.

9:52 “..but Im not giving up.. moving forward..”

10:35 I was in a house and the person was hosting the Premier, thinking I saw a glass of orange juice in the persons hand. 

1:12 During my prayer time I heard, “I love you, come…” I saw Jesus clearly in my heart; he was standing right in front of me, looking directly at me, and looking into his eyes I could see that he loves me. Now every time I remember this, I see Jesus holding out his hand for me to take. By faith I’m taking his hand and following him…

Last night I woke up a few times with lyrics in my heart but I accidentally erased it:(  I remember at 1:22 there were lyrics from the sailboat song, and after that lyrics from the Perfect song,,

I’m thinking that for the rest of the summer I’m not going to do any more missions at the North End. I love it there but I’m sensing not to so that I can serve my family better at home. I love you Jesus so much… Help me Holy Spirit to follow You better, at home and where-ever I go. In Jesus name, Amen. 

June 23: 11:54 A picture of someone sitting, having a big belly and putting a plate of food on their belly; reminds me of how pregnant women do this.

12:37 “Grace Witherspoon” (Gods grace for me)

1:05 “All my life You have been faithful. All my life You have been so, so good. With every breath that I am able, I will sing, of the goodness of God. I love Your voice. You have led me through the fire. And in darkest night, You were close like no other. And in the moment that I wake up, until I lay my head, I will sing, of the Goodness of God.”

11:29 “I’m not giving up. Moving forward…”

Dreamt I was getting junk off my single bed so that I could go to bed (a folded empty light brown paper shopping bag wth handles and some other things). Someone had a bed in the same room and I was trying to get my bed cleaned off before she came upstairs so that I didn’t need to talk with her. My lamp was on. I put the folded shopping bag close to her bed on the floor, not knowing where to put it. I was also in a hurry and was going to just grab the rest of the stuff and put it anywhere so I could get into bed before she got there. In waking life I felt sheepish about facing Jesus because I knew I had let him down by allowing my peace to leave by worrying. I need to remember that I don’t know everything after these times of testing. Afterwards is when I’m the most vulnerable, and that’s when the enemy tries to get at me the most. Sorry Jesus.. I’m trusting and coming back…

1:56 “I said I wanted to move that stuff off my bed.” (I heard these words) I think the stuff represents negative thoughts, down on myself for missing things. (Sunday the dream I had about seeing red on the string, I was thinking that I completely failed and so I lost hope)

1:58 I was almost asleep when I had a picture of a group of people by the south entrance by the grass, on a sunny day, all holding a cup with a straw, looking at me as if I was going to take a photo.

2:10 I saw a wide slide leading to slide down. 

2:11 “but I’m not giving up! I’m moving forward.”

2:46 I sped (thinking this represents that I’ll gain back quickly what the enemy stole)

3:51 “Naomi” (meaning Beautiful, Gentle)

5:40 “hoping and praying this wind will take me home.”

Love and blessings…❤️‍🔥

I had a lot of fun today; I fell four times in total at the skate park, and the last one really hurt!! But Im glad I fell because I found out that I’m still okay! Lucas and I went to Krispy Kream after the church event today, and it was so good!! I ordered 1 dozen, and the original glazed is my favourite!!!

July 24 11:17 Aaron (I had been sleeping and heard this right before waking up) Meaning: Exalted, Strong.

11:33 “And the Angels cry, Holy, and the people cry, Holy. You are lifted high, Holy forever.”

2:32 “And the Angels cry, Holy, You are lifted high, Holy, Holy forever.” (I went downstairs to pray)

2:51 “I’m walking with Jesus” (I heard in my heart) Yes!!!

3:07 My daughter, arise

Yes Papa, I’m following You!

3:16 Yes (Speaking in my prayer language; I got re-baptized in the Spirit on Monday. Feeling like I’m starting fresh)

3:22 doing well

3:24 Come My daughter, My Spirit is upon you, to preach the gospel, lay hands on the sick, on those who are blind. Come My daughter, come. You are Mine. 

3:28 Yes I’m coming Papa!

3:31 “And the Angels cry, Holy. And the people cry, Holy. You are lifted high, Holy, Holy forever!”

3:50/51 I have my new prayer language!

4:01 Holy Spirit, Thank You.. I love You with All my heart. 

4:03 I love you My darling. Come, you are Mine.

Yes I’m coming Papa, Jesus, Holy Spirit, I’m coming…

4:04 You are coming…

4:07 Rest, you are Mine. (Meaning that I could sleep)

4:18 “You will receive power from on high.”

4:24 I was awake and I saw in my heart, watching an animation picture and saw Jesus my husband sitting on the ground with his knees up, waiting, and there was a small jet near him. The ramp was open. There was a dark figure of a man with a briefcase walking towards the ramp, but then I saw an angel clothed in a shining white robe standing at the bottom of the ramp, guarding the entrance, and the form of a man walked past. Yes! The Holy Spirit is helping me guard my heart so that I won’t lose my peace again, and showing that I’m following Jesus…

4:40 “All things are possible with Me.”

4:44 “Come My daughter, I am well pleased with you.”

Papa, I’m so honoured to be able to follow You. Thank-You with all my heart…

I love you

I love You too Papa..

4:48 “light has come”

4:53 We were driving in the US border. I saw the light paved road we were driving on.

5:03 While I was awake I saw us intimately together (Jesus)…

5:12 I saw my notebook underneath an oven mitt on the kitchen counter, and I think I was uncovering it when my dream ended.

“The ups and downs, the highs and lows, into faith I go.”)song/lyrics in my heart)

(I was adjusting my alarm to go to Shopgym and I heard “not today, rest.”)

5:28 “Finished”

5:35 Papa, I need to tell people about You! 

You will

I’m glad Papa

5:37 I was wondering about the stuff that was on the bed in a previous dream, and I heard in my heart the word, “gone.” 

Thank You Papa with all my heart. You are so gracious to me. 

I love you My darling. 

5:44 I believe you Jesus, that you love me… 

6:06 Yes!!!

6:08 I saw a hand taking out a blue five dollar bill.

6:22 I think I saw a ring, a hand taking a ring… “Take my life, let it be a living sacrifice. All that I am, surrendered into Your hand, I surrender. I give it all. My heart and soul, Jesus I’m living for You..”

6:37 I sensed it was 6:37 and after a few moments I looked and saw 6:38.

6:48 “Welcome to family time” I vaguely dreamt  I was at church and I saw some people there. Yes!!

I’m a bit sore from yesterday.. ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

Got my Yeti today:)