“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long suffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such there is no law.” Galatians 5:22,23
Conversation
I love You Holy Spirit. I’m so thankful that You live in my heart, helping me and leading me. I worship You Holy Spirit and I want to know You more.
I love you My darling. Come.
Holy Spirit, I need Your help now and tonight. I need direction so I pray that You would enable me to clearly discern Your voice. I pray that You’d open my spiritual ears so I can hear You more clearly, and I pray that You’d open my spiritual eyes so I can see You, see in the Spirit.
I will help you Carolyn. Come, you are Mine.
Thank-You in advance for what You will do tonight.
Reflection
Hello and welcome to my Journal. Life in the valley can be very difficult, but we need to remember that God is always faithful. Right now I’m in a valley, being tested and pruned so that in God’s time I’ll be ready to walk out of this valley, Victorious! What I’ve been doing as I’m waiting is spending time with God and keeping on doing what He’s already asked me to do. I’m clinging onto hope because God is my firm foundation. God is faithful and I know that He will never let me down, and I’m going to stay faithful to Him. He has shown me His faithfulness all the time and I know His love through that. God gives me dreams and wakes me up at certain times. As you read my journal my hope is that even though I’m in a valley in my life, I hope you will be inspired to always keep your heart open to God no matter what’s going on in your life, because God is a God of Love and He always has a Good plan for our life. He knows how to lead us; we just need to trust Him and follow Him! Very often God draws my heart to Him through love songs! My love for God/Jesus keeps on growing as I continue to pursue Him. During the night God wakes me up at certain times with either a word from Him and/or a dream. So here’s my journal entry for today..
3:21 “And the Angels cry, Holy, all creation cries, Holy. You will always be, Holy, Holy forever.” (I went downstairs to pray shortly after this.)
4:10 I vaguely heard “on time,” not sure if this was just me.
4:20 “help me”
4:26 “That’s who You are, that’s who you are” (song)
4:50 “You are lifted high, Holy, Holy forever!”
5:22 In my dream I saw a couple together. I saw her sitting, leaning into him (he was behind her) wearing a short green dress. (I’m going to wear my green shirt with a V neckline.)
12:22 In a vague dream I saw someone looking intensely at me, and then I saw a picture of a car driving down a highway. While praying in the spirit about tonight (in the last half hour or so), I believe I have a revelation about my dream where I saw a couple together, and it makes me so nervous!! Okay here goes.. I believe the Holy Spirit is leading me to sit in during worship tonight, and because of my dream where a lady was sitting on my left side wearing a red flowery dress, I believe I need to sit in the front row on the left side. Unless this is for Sunday. Then it would be the second row because I didn’t get anything from the Lord about specifically being in the front row.
12:35 vaguely dreamt of seeing teeth, seeing the back of teeth where the wisdom tooth is and seeing a circle (white) being drawn around it. Thinking I need to sit on the left side in the back? I’m wondering if the intense look I got in my dream means that I actually shouldn’t go in and that it’s meant for Sunday.. maybe to sit behind the pastor. As I’m thinking about it and asking for the Holy Spirit to help me, I’m remembering this look means I need to follow. So I will follow…. If I’m interpreting this wrong, then Jesus please forgive me now.. I completely respect Jesus and I so desperately want to do the right thing..
12:40 I had just rested my housecoat on my feet because they were cold, and as I was beginning to pray again I saw in my mind that I had put my red dress onto my feet. I’m sensing to go in. I’m thinking that what I’m talking about is referring to what I at first thought was that I was playing a game with someone. Yesterday I bought two regular bags of carrots and I cooked the carrots in one of the bags and ate them for lunch. It was difficult but I did it! I cooked the second bag today and I’m nearly done; I think my skin is going to turn orange! I didn’t count how many there were in the bag yesterday but in today’s bag there were 13. I gave my friend the red Alpha card the other day. I have another one but I’m not sure who to give it to. I made home-made pizza yesterday. I baked chocolate chip cookies yesterday and brought some to home group. Anyway, I’m so nervous but I’m not fearing what I sense to do because I know that Jesus loves me and that all I want to do is the right thing. If I’m wrong then I’m hoping I’ll sense that. I’m sensing I need to go to the gym and shoot some hoops. I’m also not sure about seeing the box of pizza in the fridge, if I need to eat pizza pops. I think I will anyway if there are any there. Blessings and love….🫶🏼….
Oct 5th. 2:37 “All praise to the Lord most high. All praise to the one who saved my life. All praise to Jesus Christ, my King forever, my King forever. I raise my hands up lay my whole life down, my whole life down before you.”
3:09 I lift up my hand lay my holy life down,
3:11 “I’m willing to do it.” (“We have to pray when I’m willing to do it.”)
3:13 I dreamt something about my dad.
3:39 I lift up my hands lay my whole life down.
4:47 I lift up my hands lay my whole life down,
6:28 I lift up my hands lay my whole life down, my whole life down before You. (Do I need to raise my hands again tomorrow? I’m hoping I don’t need to have the same experience tomorrow as I had last night.., and yet if I’m supposed to so that someone can tell me to stop? I know not to raise my hand again.)
7:00 You clothed me in Your righteousness, You pulled me from the depth of darkness, into Your light again, into Your light again. My sin was deep, my shame was wide, Your arms are wider. My guilt was great, Your love is greater still. Your love, Your love.
I had a dream at night that I had broken my already broken retainer, and I had put it back in my mouth. I also dreamt that my front tooth was crooked again. I always pray that my retainer will last until I can get a new one.
7:35 I saw two mats “in front” of our garage door (person garage door). I was thinking that I need to sit “in the front” pastors seat again (microphone is in the first drawer and the batteries are in the second). So I moved to the first row during worship practice.
7:56 I saw lots of big orange spots. Reminds me of when I looked into the gym from upstairs and saw all the kids playing.
7:59 “Can I call you?”
8:03 “…Not so much”
8:04 “clean your room thoroughly.” In my dream I was in my room with a vacuum cleaner, about to vacuum.
8:11 I dreamt that it was 7:11 (In my dream I had been sleeping and I woke up at 7:11)
8:14 I dreamt that we were sitting down at a table at Smity’s, about to have breakfast. I had a feeling like I was going to order the International meal. It had a family feeling.
8:18 I saw our white laundry basket that had some clean clothes that were already folded that I needed to put away.
8:21 I dreamt I had a light purple flowery dress in my hands. The whole dress was imprinted with lots of small flowers.
8:32 As I’m pondering about it, I’m thinking that Bella’s purple winter jacket that I asked her to put away was a success (“just stop”) which is shown through the purple flowery dress that I had in my hands.
8:37 I saw a lady that had curly brown hair that was layered. I saw the back of her head as she was eating something or doing something.
8:40 “These are the days that we’re dreaming of.” A song by Lauren Daigle. (Emphasis on, “These are the days.”)
8:47 I had a thought a few minutes ago to have breakfast with Bella at Smitty’s this morning. Lucas and his dad are running in the city (meeting at The Forks). They always have breakfast there afterwards, so I think I’m going to take Bella out for breakfast! Today I’m cleaning my room thoroughly.. I’m volunteering this month at Collide and my kids dad doesn’t like going to both services, so we’ll be coming to both services only twice a month. We’re coming to both tomorrow. So far I’m going to sit on the pastors seat again and wear my flowery blouse (and change for Collide). They all know I do these crazy things because I’m practicing hearing and obeying the Holy Spirits voice. 🫶🏻
1:56 During my pressing into the Lord I dreamt that I was at the gym with two of my friends. They were standing in the bar area, smiling and having fun.
1:59 I saw a fruit like kiwi; the top was open and someone was eating the fruit with a spoon, seeing the spoon dip into it.
2:02 I dreamt that the dishwasher bottom rack was all full. I’m sensing they were clean. I saw a row of large white plates clearly and other dishes.
In my prayer time I was thinking about romaine lettuce/Romans where it talk about idols. I think that I have been my own idol, putting myself first over God, thinking I don’t measure up in some areas and trying to make up for that by making the areas I do like about myself, to look better. I repented about this. As I’m pursuing God and the Holy Spirit more now in the last little while than I ever have in my life, I’m sensing a change where I’m thinking more about God than I am about myself. I’m hoping that with this new revelation and repentance, that I can walk forward.
2:21 I vaguely saw a kitchen towel that was hung up to dry. It wasn’t on a peg; it was over a straight rack.
Bella and I went to Smitty’s; she ordered the Big Country with orange juice, and I ordered the International with cinnamon apple topping and Jasmine tea. We sat at table #5 (12 was full). This was our first breakfast together, just the two of us, very special!!❤️
October 6: 12:36 “skirts”
3:16 Holy, Holy forever!
4:14 Holy, Holy forever! (I went downstairs to pray)
5:08 While pressing into the Lord I vaguely saw a lady who had lipstick on, smiling and with her hand she beckoned me to come.
5:15 “We’ve been looking for you.”
5:18 I saw one of my pastors coming from the front and walking past me on my right. (I’ve been thinking about this as I’m praying, sensing that I need to do the same.. if I’m coming from the front and “turn to the left” it means I’m sitting on the right side of the front row; this is what I ended up doing).
5:20 I saw a red zip tie (cable zip tie) It reminds me of traveling; I used a ziplock bag for some of my things this morning from the office area, only remembering about this part of my dream later.
5:25 “Turn to the left”
5:30 I saw the back of a granola bar, kind of to the left
5:34 I saw something like graffiti on the upper left corner of a building or something.
5:36 I saw dark clouds on the left side of the sky.
5:39 I saw green lit clock
5:40 I think I heard “relationships” and seeing a small red Doritos bag.
5:44 I was at church in the front row left side I think and I was standing and looking behind me, and a few rows back I saw a lady wearing a flowery dress. (I’m thinking that if I’m in the right spot today, I’m going to see a lady a few rows behind me wearing a flowery dress?)
On Costco’s parking lot and I my left was a black car.
5:50 “Protected”
5:53 “Do you know who Charlene is? No.” (I’m not sure if this is about raising my hand at the end, but I’m sensing not to.)
5:55 I saw some kind of a white wall in front of me that was made from white boards (boards that were painted white)
5:58 I saw some kind of celebration and hearing the word “hospital.” (Church is a spiritual hospital)
6:12 I was walking in a hallway, following a lady. I had been sitting on something like a dentist chair and had been wearing a head covering that was laying on the floor right underneath the chair. As I was following her she said something about seeing it and not seeing something like that for a long time. And I said that I was wearing it for my mom, and that I was wearing it all weekend and that I had never worn something like that before. (Spiritual head covering?)
6:30 I was walking outside of a school with someone and I saw a teenager sitting on a bench (left side of the bench), wearing blue tights I think. We had come up from behind her, so we were facing the same direction. She had fallen asleep. I could tell that she had gone pee while she was sleeping; I saw her pants were wet and also the ground underneath and running to the side was wet. As I walked beside her, something caused her to wake up and she was looking around, becoming more aware of her surroundings. I felt empathy towards her.
6:43 In a dream someone was standing on a high cliff and the water she was looking at came up to where she was, like a tsunami, feeling fear. In waking life I had begun to feel overwhelmed about today. I’ve surrendered to the Lord and have more peace. Overall, I’m sensing to turn to the left, coming from the front, which means we’ll be sitting on the right side. I have peace about that. If I need to choose which side to take a snack from, I’m still not sure so I’m going to pray and go where I feel led. I’m sensing there’s something about microphone, so if there’s an opportunity to be recorded, I will do it. Blessings and Love….🫶🏻
Today I’m reminded how much Jesus wants to hear from me all the time… and the Holy Spirit does too, like He lives with us in the house so I need to include Him all the time. This is what I’ve come to realize during this Spirit 360 is that the Holy Spirit wants to be part of everything about my day, how I feel, to the events of my day; He’s interested about everything about me, and Jesus feels the same way about me and I’m so relieved about that… I was greatly comforted after I sensed the Holy Spirit this morning, and it helped me to realize that I was in the right seat. In the foyer I was looking for a recycle bin for the water bottle I had grabbed that was laying on the floor. Then I thought to drink the water instead so I did, thinking maybe this has something to do with the tea that I wish I would have taken. In the foyer in my heart I was pressing into the Lord about which side to take the snack, then after the lady I was talking with, left, I decided to go and pray in the theatre about it, remembering hearing that we could go in and pray there if we wanted. Then I saw the pastor in the room and knew I needed to go in, so I did. After the second service I got the snack from the left basket. I had a caramel macchiato today (remembering first the Cinnamon Leite Late, then caramel macchiato, then Hot Chocolate. I’m looking forward to having the Pecan one.. In the Theatre after asking a question I went and sat in the front row, furthest to the right, where I should have sat at the wedding. I saw a black pen so I picked it up and brought it to the table by the doors. My lower back is hurting a lot; I’m walking hunched over. Lucas had his last driving practice with DriverZ today, and coming home I stopped and went into the field to take a photo of the sunset and I could barely make it back to the truck. Lucas needed to drive back because I just couldn’t get my back to stop hurting so much. I managed to get into the passenger side and had to continually sit forward in order for some of the pain to go. All this is preventable by rolling and digging a ball into my hip area. I did that a lot this evening and I’m laying on my back, so I’m hoping by resting it’ll be better in the morning. I don’t think I can go to Shopgym in the morning. I’m not sure if I did everything I was supposed to do today. I was trying to be as observant as I could. I’m getting better at discerning the Holy Spirit and Jesus I think… I’m wanting to watch the Twister movie, so hopefully it’ll happen this week. I love volunteering for Collide!!! I’m planning on recording my short video about 360 this week, maybe tomorrow if I can. 🫰🏼
October 7:10:44 “managed to do all that after being (on a?) wire plant.”
10:50 “Catholic corners”
10:53 I dreamt I saw a well to do lady with a pleaded skirt on; she was standing by the back door of a business. She had just come from inside and was holding the door open; she had just called the teenagers in to come inside. There was a group of kids who had done art on the back of the building and they were excited about it. She was calling them in and they were coming. It was sunny and cheerful. She was standing on a short landing area (a few steps up). They were excitedly telling her about something as they were coming, about something that had happened. I didn’t see her face but I sensed she was smiling, maybe shaking her head and rolling her eyes like they were being goofy, though her reaction was vague.
11:05 I dreamt that I was explaining something to someone in French! I knew French fluently!!!
11:09 “stop the boat” I’m not sure if I was sleeping but I saw or dreamt about the movie (UNCLE), the bad woman was on the boat being bossy.
11:14 vaguely dreaming about a mafia
11:16 I dreamt about the train in the easter play, seeing people talking, looking intelligent by one of the tables.
11:21 something about a Christmas gathering and hearing the name “Shawna.”
12:23 there was a five.. (autocorrect) It was like an “ah ha” moment
12:29 I saw a wedding: I saw two kids wearing red, a small boy and girl, and also an adult wearing red!!The little kids were looking up at one of the adults that were there.
12:46 I saw an arch
12:58 I saw very clearly the big yellow M for McDonalds.. the two arches meeting together….
1:05 “walking down the isle.” I saw a beautiful young lady wearing a high bun. She had brown hair .
1:08 You are lifted high, Holy, Holy forever!
1:09 I saw a lady wearing flip flops close to and facing a bed. This morning I was kneeling by the side of my bed as I made a phone call.
1:12 I saw some orange construction cones stacked together like it was done, having a feeling like it was in a construction zone, feeling like it was done.
1:16 “can we have “a go” in the morning?” (Can we do something in the morning)
1:19 seeing two young girls and hearing “which one is which” like they were twins.
1:24 “clothed in your righteousness. You pulled me out of darkness, into Your light again, into Your light again.”
1:31 You have done great things. Oh Hero, of heaven, You conquered the grave. You free every captive and brake every chain of God, You have done great things.”
1:52 I was really high up in a really high tower. I was sitting at a table and I could see the city way down below as I looked through the glass windows that were surrounding the top where we were. It felt like it was a table for two..
1:57 “chapter 14”
1:59 trusting with being vulnerable
2:03 Holy forever! And the angels cry, Holy, all creation cry’s, holy. You will always be, Holy, Holy forever!”
2:47 I dreamt we were underneath an arch.
6:55 “Great is Your faithfulness to me. From the rising sun to the setting same I will praise Your name. Great is Your faithfulness to me.”
7:11 ThankYou Holy Spirit… I love You so much.
7:13 I love you My daughter
7:29 “Rest, My faithful one, you are Mine.” From the rising sun to the setting same I will praise Your name. Great is Your faithfulness to me. I put my faith in Jesus, my anchor to the ground. You are my firm foundation, You’ll never let me down. Great is Your faithfulness to me.
7:44 I love You Lord, and I lift my voice. To worship You, oh my soul, rejoice. Take Joy my King, in what You hear. Let it be a sweet, sweet sound, in Your ear. ❤️🔥