Caroline, I have a Word for you today.
Father, please come and tell me. I draw near to you.
I have come.
Father, I don’t really understand what you mean when you say that because your time frame is different than mine. But I also know that I speak in my unbelief because the hope within me has been broken so many times. This is the deep wound that needs your healing.
Caroline, all is well for I have come -my salvation is near.
Okay Father, help my unbelief. I’m putting my trust in you because I know that you are trustworthy. Please come and heal this deep wound within me as I get back up and continue to follow you -you are my Way-Maker.
Caroline, draw near to me and I will carry you through.
Reflection:
In my dream last night I was in a room filled with people. There were two women in front of me. One had a deep inner wound that she was suffering from, and the other lady was her friend and was caring for her. I asked the woman who was in pain if I could pray that God would heal her. I could tell that she didn’t believe in God and I told her that God even heals people who don’t believe in him. So she allowed me to pray healing over her and she left, still not believing. Then I was at a pharmacy counter, wanting to ask for help to find an ointment like Polysporin. I was waiting to ask the person who looked like they were more in charge but it was the one beside her that knew exactly what I meant and I followed her as she led me to where it was. I had a picture of putting this ointment liberally on a wound I had.
Then I was watching a scene in front of me where a lady was sitting at one end of the table, waiting for a daughter to come and sit across from her at the other end of the table. There was a gift for each of them on the table right in front of them. The gifts were purple and there was purple ointment or cream, from a tube, that surrounded the gifts and surrounded them many many times as they sat at the table. Then I saw that I was putting the last of the purple cream from the tube around it all, on the table which included both people so that the cream went behind them to include them somehow, and I had emptied the entire tube, and there had been so much in it. The lady was waiting at the table because the daughter and her father were in another room; the daughter was crying and very emotional and her father was comforting and reassuring her. Before the dream ended I had a sense that she was calming down enough to be able to come. Then in the end God showed me what I’m hoping in and it had come to reality.
As I’m thinking about all this, I recognize that what I’ve done in the past in order to cope is what I’m doing right now. I’ve fallen into that same pattern unknowingly. In the past I’ve put my desires behind me in order to live my life the best way I knew how. The deep wound I have right now is having such a deep hope that Gods timing is soon and having this hope broken again and again. I’m afraid to hope for this again and it’s resulted in having an unbelief. God needs to come and heal this wound, even in my unbelief that his timing is soon. This hope is what I’ve been putting behind me in order to keep going, doing what God has asked me to do. Knowing this now, I’m putting my hope in God again, but I fear to hope too much. I do trust in God that his timing is best. I’m asking that God will come and heal this wound in my heart.