My Father, I need you so much.
I’m here my darling. Come, let’s commune together, you and I.
Jesus, if there’s a word you have for me today, what would that be?
Come.
Holy Spirit, help me to know what always keeps me from recording more than I do. Please uncover this stumbling block. What comes to mind when I think about this is a part of a dream where I wanted to quickly organize some aspect of myself before doing what I needed to do, and this is what got me into trouble because it was actually taking too long. Help me not to get into that cycle again.
My faithful one, begin to rely more on your helper, the Holy Spirit.
Father, I thought I was doing that. Help me let go completely.
My daughter, all is well with you. Just keep a steady walk and then we’ll get somewhere.
All right Father. I’m afraid that when I let go of laying it all out like a lesson plan, I’ll end up saying something stupid that the whole world can see.
Rest assured my faithful one -you’ll be okay.
I’ll be okay…I’m just meditating on these words Father. I need to be eating these words everyday. I know that in the end of this journey I’ll finally be okay, but help me also in the midst of it to be okay.
I do understand my dear one. I’m always with you and will never leave you.
I know this Father, but like everything else that needs to be revealed to me by your Holy Spirit and in your time, reveal this also to me in a deeper way.
I love you my darling.
Reflection:
Thinking more about what I’ve written this morning, more thoughts are coming to my mind about it. In the natural, I’m always doing more in the house than I need to be doing because I don’t delegate the things that need to be done, and I think this bad habit has also influenced my spiritual life where I try and do things on my own, which doesn’t give room for the Holy Spirit to help me. Is that a run-on sentence? hmm, I do things more on my own in the natural because I think it takes less time if I just quickly do it instead of taking the time to teach my kiddos because of the resistance I picture myself facing. I need to remember that doing things on my own actually takes longer than the time it would take to train my kids and have them help me. Looking at it from Gods perspective, it’s a self-fulfilling prophesy because God is my Father and he’s training me so that I can help him do what needs to be done, and I’m proving that my theory is right in the way it’s taking me long to learn, that training up a child in the way they should go, definitely takes time. I’ve definitely resisted, sigh. He could do it all himself which would be quicker and more well done, but I need to do what he has for me to do because this is my calling. I’m not leading my kids as much as I need to be… I wasn’t expecting this lesson today, and it sure is an eye-opener! I can also rest in the midst of my imperfections as I’m learning. My heart has been exposed once again, but I know it’s never for nothing.. I love you Lord..