Psalm 116:1,2
“I love the Lord, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy. Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live.”
Dad…
Come My daughter, you are Mine and I love you. All is well with you.
Thank-you Father for your constancy, that you never change, and for this reason I can depend on you and your love. Thank you for drawing me close this morning as my heart cries out to you. Help me prepare for my next recording. I pray that you will help me be led by you.
I will help you Caroline.
Father, I’m so blessed. In our walk together I know your love more and more, and I’m so deeply thankful..
I love you my daughter.
Father, I have a sense that I’m holding back and I know why; it’s because I’m overwhelmed with trying to put another recording together -I’m afraid that I won’t hear you.
Caroline come, I will help you. Trust.
Father I sense the words, “heart to heart.” I’m so deeply thankful for our heart to heart connection. Help me remember our heart to heart connection rather than listening to doubt that’s screaming in my ears. I cannot live without you!
My faithful daughter, come -draw near to me and I will come near to you.
Reflection
In the last three days I’ve not spent enough time with the Lord, and my heart is grieving because of it. I know what it’s like not being close to the Lord and I had a small taste of that again, and this is what I want to run away from. The Lord has opened the door for me to work more again but I need to find a balance so that I’m still making room everyday to grow intimacy with him. I actually love teaching kids, even the ones who make it more difficult; I’ve found that when I respond patiently, trying to understand their point of view, and when they see love coming from me, their heart responds to that and they become less defensive. I love when the kids come in from recess and wave and say “hi Mrs. H” as they pass me to go to their classroom, and I love reading them fun storybooks:) When I’m there a part of me would love to teach full time, but so far the Lord has always steered me away from this and has kept me from growing my roots deep in this setting. I believe the Lord wants me to teach, but wants me to teach (eventually) in the ministry. So for now I just need to find a balance between teaching part-time and being home and doing all the things that come with that along with taking time to be with God everyday, so that I can keep walking intimately with him.
October 24th the Lord gave me a dream where I was with Jesus my husband upstairs in a house. We had been intimate when I heard my son Lucas, and knew he would be coming up the stairs. From where we were I could see the top of the spiral staircase that connected the main floor and the upstairs area where we were; the room we were in was open so that the staircase area could be clearly seen. Because I didn’t want Lucas to see how a husband and wife are intimate with each other, I told my husband to quickly go beside me so that we could regain composure before Lucas saw us:) Then I saw that Lucas came up part-ways where I could see the top part of his body, and he just stood there looking at us. He was looking directly at me and our eyes held. (Because I didn’t want to show Lucas how my husband and I were being intimate with each-other and our eyes held, I think tells me that in my next recording the Lord wants me to do exactly that -to talk more specifically about what I do in my time with the Lord. I’ve been thinking about this before already so I’m sensing this is what I’m going to do.)
So…the last time I dreamt about Lucas more specifically (maybe a year or more ago, I’m not sure), I dreamt that Jesus my husband and I were taking him west, to a french boarding school where he’d stay for a period of time. I know this last dream about him represents that he’s back from somewhere, so I think this means he’s back from the french boarding school, which also means that I’ve learned something the Lord has wanted me to learn. During this past year or so I remember thinking about that dream and also wondering why most of my dreams that would have my kids in them, only had Bella in them. I had dreams which had Lucas in them too, but not many and they only vaguely had him in them which means something different than if he’d be in them more vividly. In the past the Lord had led me in this exact way, where Lucas had come back from somewhere in the middle of the night, and it was that morning when I awoke that I sensed the Lord leading me to begin writing my prayer conversations again. There had been a pocket of time where the Lord wanted me to put that down and only pray in the spirit, but when the Lord showed me that Lucas had come back in the middle of the night, I knew that the Lord was leading me to resume writing our prayer conversation again. Alright, it’s getting late so I better go. Tomorrow night (Friday) Lucas wants to stay in town; all the churches here are joining together and are doing a big youth event where they need to run around town to specific places, looking for specific things, and the first group to get all of them wins. They only do this once a year, and last year he had wanted to join them but didn’t for some reason, so this year he wants to do it. I’m not working tomorrow and I’m hoping to be ready to record by next week Wednesday…. Goodnight everyone, hoping and praying for those of you who aren’t feeling well that you’ll feel well soon!! ☕️