“So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. For in just a very little while, “He who is coming will come and will not delay.” -Hebrews 10:35-37
Conversation
Papa
My daughter, you are Mine -I love you.
Papa, I love You and I worship Your Holy Name. Thank-You for Your faithfulness. Thank-You for having such high standards and being so thorough; I feel loved by You through it. I’m resting in You.
Come Caroline, it is near the end.
I won’t stay still Papa, I’m following You.
My daughter, I have a word for you today.
What is it Lord?
You have been redeemed. The cost was great, and now it’s done.
Papa, the cost was so great, greater than I thought I could possibly give. But I know You better now and that’s the main thing, the most important thing. Knowing You makes me feel secure. I love You Lord, my God.
Arise My daughter, for I have come to set you free.
I’m ready to walk into freedom Papa. I believe You, I trust You, and I’m following You.
Reflection
Hello and welcome to today’s page in my journal! The Lord wakes me up most nights at certain times after He’s given me a dream, which I sometimes don’t know the meaning of but other times I do, and it’s such a great comfort to my heart. I absolutely love sharing what God is doing in my heart, hoping it’ll inspire you to spend time with God everyday and grow the most fulfilling relationship with Him. For the past while God has been taking me through a spiritual shower. I believe He’s preparing me for what’s coming up next. He’s purifying my heart so that my heart is clean before Him. It also clears the way for me to hear Holy Spirit better when there’s no mess in the way. I record the times when God says something to me because even in that, there’s meaning. Blessings.
This morning I went downstairs to pray just before 6:00. It was heavy on my heart about being set free from another thing. 6:30 Papa, please come. My heart is open to You. Show me/us what’s in my heart that shouldn’t be. If there’s something in there that I don’t know about, or something that I do know about but that I can’t remember or that’s hidden, please lead me to know what it is. I’m pressing into You Papa; I need You so desperately!!
Then come my darling, I know, and I will lead you there. Trust Me and you will see. Rest.
Papa, I feel like I’m on the table and I’m about to have open heart surgery. I did not see this coming.. Thank-You Papa that You know my heart. This is another way to show myself and others that You are a God of Love who truly cares about us. I love You and I worship You with all my heart.
My daughter, My faithful one, you are Mine. Come closer.
Papa, I am in such awe of You.
I bore your sin on the cross. Come. I know you completely, and I love you.
Please enable me to come Jesus. I’m sitting here at the foot of the cross; I’m desperate for You and for You to clean me. Clean my heart Papa! Please forgive me for setting up that idol and not trusting You with my insecurity. In Jesus name I break this idol. I give this insecurity to You.
Come My daughter. Rest. I will lead you there.
7:02 “I am near to you.” (Comforting words towards still being here)
7:49 I woke up and had dreamt of someone eating the seeds of an apple. Someone at youth (Andrew) had thrown out the seeds into a bowl as he was eating an apple, and when he was done eating the apple, another person was eating the seeds. I’m not sure what this is about.
9:38 In this dream I was on the roof of a building, facing the road. Jesus my husband lived on the same street as me (a few houses down) which was comforting for me, and he lived on the same side of the street. I went down to the corner of the roof (the left side when facing the street) and felt like I was going to fall (I felt the roof sag a bit) I noticed that the roof was wet but with determination I managed to climb back up. Then I went to the peek of the roof, bent down and held onto it and lowered myself off and landed on the ground securely and unharmed. I felt accomplished, thinking there was someone watching me.
Then I was on the roof again but this time it was like the house I was on was on the sand. I didn’t see that it was on the sand but when I was looking down and in front of me, I saw a bit of beach and then a big peaceful lake. I was really high up, maybe 10 stories high. I thought to myself that I wanted to jump into the air from the roof and fly as far as I could and land into the lake, but I was afraid that I would land in the shallow water. I jumped anyway, high into the air and began flapping my arms to fly, and I flew a long ways, a lot further than I thought I would. I began to come down fast and I was holding my breath, preparing to go deep into the water. But when I landed (it makes sense to have landed in the water, even though I did -Im sensing I went in about halfway), I don’t remember the water around me. There was a flatter rock nearby that I went onto and I rested on it, laying down on it and enjoying the sun and the peacefulness. Here Im thinking the water represents the topic from yesterday.
Then the scene changed where I had flown all the way over the lake and was on the other side. I was on some kind of structure. It was like a cemented small building that people could go into and go up onto the top of it to look out over the water, but something felt off, and there were a few strangers there. Then I looked at the lake and saw high waves and the whiteness of the water crashing and knew I wasn’t going to be able to go back the way I came. I didn’t have my phone on me so I was looking for someone who I could trust and ask to use their phone to call my sister Connie. I saw a lady who looked like she could be my aunt (she looked conservative and could have had something on her head like a head covering like most of my aunts do on my dads side) and I think I asked her if I could use her phone. Then I saw my cousin standing not too far away, smiling and kind of looking in our direction, and I said something like asking her because she was my cousin. My aunt (who was on my right) looked at my cousin and was a bit surprised that we were cousins because of how not conservative I looked compared to her. I grew up believing more in religion and following rules rather than a growing relationship with Christ. In my dream I didn’t use their phones but then I was back on the other side where Connie was (who represents “the right way to go”) I have a sense that the side I had flown to represents legalism, and the storm with high waves blocked my way to going back which made me need to use their phones, which I didn’t end up using, yay. I went to the other side by flying (praying /Holy Spirit), and what I saw there was my past. I’m sensing that I don’t need to think about my past anymore, and that it has all been dealt with. (The rough water represents the difficulty with writing about internal things)
Another part of my dream was, as I was looking up into the sky I saw a square picture of a flat rock that had something that reminds me of Ancient Greek or Hebrew writing carved into it (reminding me of a photo of the ten commandments, carved into a flattened rock). Then I saw an ancient wall that people believed something about. The feeling I had was that people no longer believed that this ancient flat rock existed anymore because it could not be found, but I had a knowing where it was hidden. This tall wide wall had smooth concrete overtop, and where I thought the flat rock was hidden, was higher up, more in the center of the wall. I don’t know what this represents. Im thinking that if these were the ten commandments, that they are “set in stone?” It also reminds me of see a picture of the face of Jesus in the sky yesterday. And just now I’m remembering a dream I had a long time ago where I saw Jesus’ face in the sky in a dream, and I could feel His actual Holy presence! When I woke up I could still feel his presence so strong, and then it slowly faded away. I began sobbing and sobbing because I would give anything to be with Him again. If He would have given me a choice, I would have gone up to heaven right away; I didn’t have any kids yet. I remember feeling so loved by Him and that I was created for Him and to be with Him in heaven. I felt like I was His, and I know that I am His.
Then at the end of my dream I think I was back on the other side, looking for Connie, and I was so excited and wanted to tell Connie that I had actually flown all the way to the other side/across the lake! I was in a building looking for her, but this part is vague. In my dream somewhere I saw that I was wearing my black and white plaid jacket when I dove into the water, and also had a white-ish sweater underneath (I wore this yesterday). I’m sensing the words, “Peace, be still, and know that I am God.” I desire so much to please my hubby.. how can he be pleased with me? I totally understand that going through these difficult things sets me free.. But of course it’s through the Holy Spirit that I am set free in my heart. I’m sensing that I need to jump off the pole again. I also had a dream about seeing a zip-line, wondering if the Lord wants me to go on the zip line at camp. I’m wondering what the jam-jams the youth made represents? I’m thinking it represents the hooks in the bathroom at camp. I’ve been thinking of making jam jams. Yesterday one of the little boys in my class made a yellow purse out of construction paper for me. It has a purple pocket and a popsicle in the pocket -so sweet, reminding me of getting a new purse. I’m thinking tomorrow after the kids babysit for the New-comers lunch we’ll go to the outlet mall. Bella wants to go to Sephora too so we’ll go there first. As I opened my Bible to pick which verse to use for today’s post, I opened my Bible and saw these verses. I want to say that after having a dream about knowing a sermon really well, I wrote down basically every word of last Sunday’s sermon. I’m thinking that in order for me to know a message well, I need to see it on paper. I got this name tag many years ago and thought it was so neat that this is the verse and song that I love and that I’ve dreamt about.! I also think it’s neat that my name tag is yellow and purple.. thinking that this time I’m truly set free and that there are no more things. But what do I know about my own heart in comparison to God? I totally trust You Papa, please come and have Your Mighty way in me. I welcome more healing, please lead the way. Okay, I’m ending with saying that it’s such a relief to be known; it’s only in being known that I can truly be loved. I’m so thankful that God has such high standards. Thank-You Papa for setting me free, and thank-you Jesus for your grace… Something that I’m thankful for is that God doesn’t waste our mistakes but uses them for His glory. I’m so humbled, and I’m so thankful for it. Many blessings…👊🏼✋🏼❤️🔥
April 7: 11:21 “I’m going to face my giants, with confidence.” (Feeling a bit insecure going to church..)
I had a dream that I had washed my housecoat (and the one I had before I think) and was drying it in the dryer. The dryer had a round door. There was more to this dream but I don’t remember what that was.
4:09 In my dream I saw an angel, or someone who was all golden white-pure (from head to toe, including the robe), sitting. I saw their whole form, sitting about twenty feet away.
4:22 “We’ll make a palace, of this apartment…
4:40 Papa
Come
4:43 You are Mine -I love you.
4:44 “exposed” “all done”
4:45 I love you Papa
4:46 I know you do
4:50 Papa, I’m running after You!
5:02 Come My darling, it’s time.
5:03 Yes papa, I am completely Yours.
5:09 Papa, I worship You. You have my whole heart.
5:10 Thus is true
5:11 Come
5:15 Come My loved one, you are Mine.
5:19 Papa, please forgive me.
I’ve forgiven you.
5:33 Papa, You are Sovereign. You are Good. I worship You with all my heart. I will always worship You with all that I am. I know You are always pursuing me with all Your heart. Thank You for Your heart if compassion for me. Thank-You for Your unconditional love.
5:37 “Christ is my firm foundation. The Rock on which I stand. When everything around me is shaken. I’ve never been more glad, than when I’ve put my faith in Jesus, He’ll never let me down. He won’t! He won’t! He won’t fail, He won’t!”
5:44 (Thinking of bringing .. coffee at camp.)
5:52 Come My darling, it’s time. You are Mine.
5:55 Thank-You Papa. Thank-you Jesus… (I went back to bed at six)
7:09 (I think) I (and a group of people) were sitting on couches, listening to someone on the stage. The couch I was sitting on was along the wall (looked different than the youth room). Then the lady on stage looked at the floor by the wall and said something, “Oh, there’s a sponge.” Then whatever it was that she saw was walking behind the couch. Then I saw that it had been a skunk, and was now in the middle of the room, eating dog food from the dog’s bowl on the floor. I saw that the skunk was really big and had long black hair. I noticed the person sitting beside me on my left was sitting calmly, and so was every else, watching the skunk.
I woke up and heard in my heart, “And the church of Christ was born, and the angels stood in awe.”
I was sitting in a restaurant, looking out of the window and I saw a robin fly towards me, then turn to face the sky, and fly up at an angle very fast. When it flew up fast, it didn’t flap its wings; it looked like an airplane taking off. I could see it perfectly and clearly. It was like this “air runway “ was right in front of me, so I saw the bird with its wings out, seeing both whole wings as it flew up into the sky. As it was flying up at an angle, it took about 4 -5 seconds. Then I saw the bird fly back to do it again and I saw a smaller bird that seemed like it was following it. I watched the bird come, then turn to face the sky, and fly up at the same angle as before, watching it fly up without flapping its wings. I also saw the smaller bird go where the other bird had started from, but I didn’t see the smaller bird follow. Uh oh, is the smaller bird me? How am I not following? What comes to mind is, I’m sensing that I’m being led to end the youth nights/huddles at the end? In my dream there was a mom and her son I think, sitting at a table nearby and I was going to tell them about the bird, but then I kept watching the bird.
In this dream it was early morning and I got up. I noticed that my husband and Lucas were already up and he was doing something with him, like teaching him something. Then they came into our room, still doing that and I asked my husband what they were doing and he wouldn’t answer me. I saw Lucas (about 3-4 years old) in our room and he was turning some kind of wheel; the wheel had a center that had arm length things going out from it (*️⃣) and he was turning it. At the end of these “arms” was something different, and the one he had his hands on was a golden handle which he tried to take, not realizing that the handle was part of the arm. Then they both left the room. It seemed like my husband was full of energy and was saying things when I asked him what they were doing, but he always avoided saying exactly what they were doing. I was undressed and I walked to the hallway, frustrated because he wouldn’t tell me what they were doing. Then I saw my brother standing quietly and patiently in the hallway. He didn’t see me and I walked back to where my bed was, thinking to cover myself.
Sometime in the night I heard these lyrics in my heart, “And the Spirit lit the flame.” Lucas is volunteering today. Many blessings…