Proverbs 9:10-11
“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding. For through me your days will be many, and years will be added to your life.”
Father..
My faithful one – I love you. Come, you are mine.
Lord, I feel like I’m always trying so hard but I never am able to do what you ask, and I feel like giving up because it never works anyway; I feel defeat after defeat after defeat.
Rest; Don’t give up.
Father, it’s hard also because I see no emotion, so then I pull back.
My sweet Caroline, you know in your heart what is true. Never give up hope. I am always with you. You are mine.
Father, why do you want me to do all these things??
Because I love you.
Okay..
Reflection:
Last night I didn’t have a dream but I woke up with a sense of a DNA strand, and I visualized it, though it wasn’t a word of knowledge or picture from the Lord. When I was taking Ana Werners online class last year and she was praying for people, one of the things she was praying for was to change the DNA of those who God would touch, and I felt something come inside of me and I sensed it was a new DNA. I had never heard of this before and I still don’t really understand it, but I know that with God all things are possible and I trust him to know if I need a new DNA, so I’m so thankful for this. I saw a post online this morning, and there was a line in it which said that faith is when you follow Him in the dark.. I’ve always felt like I’m in the way, so walking on this journey with Jesus I’ve needed to get passed this feeling and believe that Jesus really did want me, and to follow him. But it’s easier to follow someone when we can see their emotions, and it’s difficult to follow when we don’t see any. Lately I’ve gone to fun places with my kids, places I’ve never been to before, doing things I’ve never done before, so when they’re with their own friends and I’m by myself or with people who don’t want to do what I sense I need to do, it is difficult. I know I just need to have a mentality of walking where God wants me to walk, by myself; having the courage to walk by myself and not relying on another person for my sense of security. I’ve just come to this realization as I’m writing and reflecting; thank-you Holy Spirit! Okay, so now I know that this is part of my journey ahead; praying for courage, having a single mindset (my security only in God and his Son Jesus) and being my own person as I follow Jesus in the dark.. Reading this only takes a minute or two, but writing it has taken me more than an hour plus all the emotions that I’ve already had since getting up this morning; it was a tough morning but I’m so thankful for this breakthrough with the help of the Holy Spirit. Now going forward, I still would really like to do the things I didn’t have the courage to do before, walking single-minded, and even if someone comes with me, I will be remembering this.. Love is stronger and love preserves me, therefore I know that I am never alone…. I’m going to visit my mom today. ☕️