Psalm 37:4,40
“Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. The Lord helps them and delivers them; he delivers them, because they take refuge in him.”
My Father, I love you with all my heart. Thanks-you with all that I am for being so near to me. When you lead me so personally is when I actually get somewhere in life, and I’ve walked a million miles with you..
Yes you have my darling, a million miles walked by two, and this is enough. Come my darling, it’s time; time to come home.
Father, I’m hearing, “in quietness and trust is your strength.” The meaning to me is that as my heart remains peaceful, and as I keep trusting in you, this will give me strength.
Yes my darling this is true. You are mine.
I am yours..
Reflection:
Last night I woke up at 2:50 and I had dreamt that I was standing in the hallway by our bathroom with Bella, my friend TL and her daughter Kate. We were waiting for something and TL was on her phone. I was quietly teaching Bella about having manners while we had people over. She had been spitting or something. Then I saw her face and lips and she was holding her lips tightly closed, trying not to cry as she was walking into the bathroom. Then she was standing by the towels for privacy and Kate was there, wondering about Bella. Then I had my broken-in-half upper invisaline in my right hand as I walked into the walk-in-closet across from the bathroom door, because that’s where we keep all our toiletry stuff. I was going to put it back into its plastic case because I couldn’t talk very well with it in my mouth. So when I had walked into the closet, I looked at it again in my hand and I saw that the other side of it was there again like it wasn’t ever broken! I said, “what?” and I thought TL was probably wondering why I said that. I saw that it was transparent and clean as if I had never worn it before. I was so excited!! As it was in my hand I saw that one side was a bit longer than the other, so I wanted to try it on to see how well it would fit, so I put it into my mouth and it fit perfectly! Then I had it in my hand again as I was showing it to her and I asked her if she saw the half invisiline that I had had in my hand right before that as I was carrying it across the hallway right in front of her, and she said no she hadn’t seen it. Then I said something like it didn’t matter that she hadn’t seen it, but that God had put the other half back and she could see it now that it was made whole. When I was telling her this, as I was saying, “he fixed it right then!” I was looking straight into her eyes and I focused on her right eye and saw how blue it was. It reminds me of when I saw someone put their hands in front of their face and the only eye I saw was their right eye, it was a stark gaze like that. In waking life I do only have the top left side of my invisiline because it broke a few years ago, and now my back tooth is bothering me because I think my teeth are slowly shifting. It would be nice if God would do that in the natural, but I believe it represents that there’s a balance now with both sides, like how a plane needs two wings to fly.. Lucas went to his friends house for night and Bella and I watched three movies! We started before seven in the evening and went to bed around two. The first movie we watched was Prince Caspian; something that stood out to me was when Edmond broke the trance and the ice wall and the white witch, and the wall broke into pieces and fell onto the floor; reminds me of the brick wall that broke into many pieces in my dream with the cave. Then we watched Cinderella, not animation.
Then the more recent Marry Poppins, and there were many scenes in it that remind me of some of my dreams; London Fog, and at the end where Marry Poppins got onto the bike with the ladder across it, which needed to be balanced in order for her to carry everyone on it. She also said something like now she needed to turn back time:) Using ladders they climbed up onto the clock, Big Ben, where Mary Poppins turned back time. The building I was at the top of in my dream with the really big links that made up the long chain reminds me of Big Ben, the inside of the clock. In my dream the chain was turning counterclockwise, turning back time! oh my.. Then at the bank they had shares in the bank for so long that with the interest, it was enough to pay for their house in full. In waking life I’ve invested so much time as I’ve been spending time with God everyday without taking a break (unless God said I could have a break), learning so many things from him. In this time I didn’t run from hardship but endured it; I chose the harder way because I sensed about 20 years ago that that was God’s first choice/plan or desire for me. So I put my trust in him back then even though I didn’t know where he would lead me. I had no idea where this path would take me, but I wanted God’s first choice for me. I’m so glad I chose this way because of how much my relationship and intimacy with God has grown, and because now I know a little about where He’s leading me and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I’ve learned through the Holy Spirit what love is, and my heart is more alive now than it’s ever been.. My journey with him wasn’t all difficult; my kids have also been my life and greatest joy. God has shown of himself to me in such amazing ways and has led me in such an adventurous way, and I’m so thankful.. Also the scene of swimming in deep water. Then at the end the door opened for them at the house, and when it happened, it was time, for Marry Poppins to go. Also last year I think I had a dream where we needed to hurry to the airport because it was almost 1:00, and our flight left at 1:00. Today my husband’s flight arrives at 1:00. This week has gone by so fast. If it could be true and God would turn back time for me and restore some of my youthful years, I’d love if I could be 35 again! The photo above was taken in October during my last year of practicum in an elementary school, and I was almost 35. We didn’t end up going cross-country skiing yesterday because it’s already the end of the season. So we packed up our swimming stuff to go swimming, but when we got there it was full, so we were too late for that too:( So I took them to subway instead, which was good because then I didn’t need to make supper:) Blessings to you my friends…