“The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to Him in song.” Psalm 28:7
Conversation
I love You Papa. Thank You for Your way with me. I feel loved by You. I worship You with all my heart.
My daughter, you are Mine this day. I love you.
Papa, is there a word You would want me to know? I sense the words long-suffering and freedom.
Come My darling, I am near.
Reflection
Hello and welcome to my journal. Life in the valley can be very difficult, but we need to remember that God is always faithful. Right now I’m in a valley, being tested and pruned so that in God’s time I’ll be ready to walk out of this valley, Victorious! What I’ve been doing as I’m waiting is spending time with God and keeping on doing what He’s already asked me to do. I’m clinging onto hope because God is my firm foundation. God is faithful and I know that He will never let me down, and I’m going to stay faithful to Him. He has shown me His faithfulness all the time and I know His love through that. God gives me dreams and wakes me up at certain times. As you read my journal my hope is that even though I’m in a valley in my life, I hope you will be inspired to always keep your heart open to God no matter what’s going on in your life, because God is a God of Love and He always has a Good plan for our life. He knows how to lead us; we just need to trust Him and follow Him! Very often God draws my heart to Him through love songs or intimacy with Him in dreams, because as part of the bride of Christ, Jesus is my husband. My love for God/Jesus keeps on growing as I continue to pursue Him. During the night God wakes me up at certain times with either a word from Him and/or a dream. So here’s my journal entry for today..
2:28 (I woke up)
3:05 I am near. Come, it’s not too late, trust in Me.
3:38 There is still time
3:40 Devotions
3:41 You are Mine
3:52 “Pursue what is primary” (I thought I heard this in a message one time)
3:54 Papa, You are primary
I Am. Trust Me to see you through.
3:59 Rest, My loved one
4:08 I had a quick picture of keys, two small keys together on a ring. I didn’t see the ring but they were together like they were on a ring.
4:12 Holy Spirit what do You mean by that?
“Near”
4:14 “Holy, to the King of kings, Holy. You will always be, Holy, Holy forever. Your name, is the highest, Your name, is the greatest, Your name, stands above them all. All thrones, and dominions all power and positions Your name, stands above them all. And the angels cry, Holy, all creation cry’s, Holy. You will always be, Holy, Holy forever.”
4:27 Sensing a leap of faith and being brave.
Help me be brave. (Then I had a sense of always following God every day.)
4:57 I had a vision of being in a helicopter, looking up to the ceiling. I vaguely saw a dot on the ceiling. I could have seen someone pointing to it but I’m not sure.
5:17 “He came to set us free. I am no longer bound.”
5:21 “Play with words”
5:23 “I will watch”
6:53 “In the fullness of God.”
“All my life you have been faithful. All my life You have been so, so good. With every breath that I am able, I will sing of the Goodness of God.” God is so good, and I will always praise His name. I’m so thankful for Him and for the way He’s led me and taught me. I have so much to learn; I feel like spiritually I’m just a kid, but a kid who’s alive and looking up to Him no matter what happens in my life.
7:24 “You came to set us free. I am no longer bound.”
In my dream right before wanting to quickly go back, I had a picture of not even noticing my vulnerability. I saw a quick picture of Jesus and my husband feeling a genuine friendship in conversation and joy of being together. I saw laughter with being together on a walk. Christ Jesus was there and my husband, and I had a quick picture of joy on Jesus’ face. I felt so much peace and patience and kindness. This walk together represents my walk with Jesus, being led as I follow Him. I’m sensing that I made it, hoping…. Ultimately it’s only by God’s grace. Thank-You Papa. Today was a difficult day, but I feel loved and so I’m okay. The main thing about our conversation was that I miss-interpreted dreams, including the word I heard that I thought was from the Lord that steered me away from working full-time (when Bella was in grade 1), something I had a desire to do. Even though I feel that a lot of those years were wasted, it gave me all the opportunities to go on my kids field-trips. It also gave me the opportunity to cook and do things at home on the days I wasn’t subbing. We used to have a really nice garden and I used to can a lot.
This evening we watched Squid Games, The Challenge (not the movie), and I thought it was neat that the person who won was a lady who’s number was 287 (if I remember correctly) also the reference to the verse above. Squid Games also reminds me of the dream I had about seeing a small group of people with rounded black face masks and wearing red body suits. It was a really neat but intense elimination game. I’m thankful for God/Jesus’ love… I will praise my God forever!! Blessings and love….🤞🏼….
November 20:2: In this dream I was watching traffic come toward me; there were two lanes. There were two cars driving beside each other when a car that was behind them pushed its way through them and continued to drive forward. Then the scene changed where I was yelling at the person who had driven between my car and the car beside me, saying something about there being only two lanes. In waking life I was thinking not to go to Shopgym today because I went to bed late last night. I had also texted my voice teacher to reschedule my appointment from today to two weeks from now because I hadn’t practiced. I thought maybe I got the dream as a warning because I wasn’t doing what I needed to be doing, but I don’t think it’s referring to that.
I thought I wasn’t supposed to decode anymore… these are the things I sense; B said something about if someone (me?) dares to follow.. I saw a post with someone, a snippet where the thing that stood out to me was to “jump off the edge” (spiritual edge), and this person was right there waiting for me to do that by coming? My dream about being yelled at after the cars were “separated” by being on the opposite side of the building? And seeing only a period on a post (to go to the mall?) indicating that if I went I would be revived from the dead (arm up in my dream and also seeing in waking life? Pastor A said I’m not supposed to do anything, and that if I do, he’s responsible for it because I’m under his authority (he said the discerning part in me is broken). How am I supposed to defy him? I sensed the Lord saying to be brave, but I don’t see defying someone who has authority over me, being brave; that would mean my “death” and it would mean being very disrespectful. Seeing all these hints and not doing anything about it feels like I’m trying to hold back a charging bull. Or is the test whether or not I hold my ground and not give in by doing what I sense to do? In this case it was to go into the mall. When I was in the truck I didn’t even sense to go inside. I felt something like fear of going inside. I did go to the bathroom after 9:00 when everyone had gone. Anyway, tomorrow I’m going to finish my email about starting to sub again. My kids dad and I are going to the date night at church. I thought I was done “doing stuff,” am I not? I feel like I haven’t “seen” or spent time with Jesus lately and I really really miss him… 🫰🏼