“For we are members of his body, of his flesh and of his bones.” Ephesians 5:30
Conversation
Papa, I love You. Thank You for who You are, for loving me and pursuing me relentlessly. Thank You for Your grace that covers my life. Thank You for leading me. It’s my joy to worship You through all the difficulty I’ve faced. It doesn’t matter what people think or say, I will always follow You. I trust You with my life and with my whole heart. Forgive me when I’ve looked at the waves instead of Your face. I understand how Peter must have felt. I want You and I need You. I am the head and not the tail. You are raising me up to walk in the purpose You’ve created for me, and in Jesus name You and I will not be stopped!! I can feel a fire burning in my heart for You and to surge forward. You have ordained me to speak Your Word and even though I’m a babe at that, You will equip me because I know You equip the called; I’ve been called and I will go; I will make it. Open my eyes to see You clearly; I’m ready.
Then come My darling. I am near to you.
Reflection
Hello and welcome to my journal. Life in the valley can be very difficult, but we need to remember that God is always faithful. Right now I’m in a valley, being tested and pruned so that in God’s time I’ll be ready to walk out of this valley, Victorious. What I’ve been doing as I’m waiting is spending time with God and keeping on doing what He’s already asked me to do. I’m clinging onto hope because God is my firm foundation. God is faithful and I know that He will never let me down, and I’m going to stay faithful to Him. He has shown me His faithfulness all the time and I know His love through that. God gives me dreams and wakes me up at certain times. As you read my journal my hope is that even though I’m in a valley in my life, I hope you will be inspired to always keep your heart open to God no matter what’s going on in your life, because God is a God of Love and He always has a Good plan for our life. He knows how to lead us; we just need to trust Him and follow Him! Very often God draws my heart to Him through songs and intimacy with Him in dreams, because as part of the bride of Christ, Jesus is my husband. My love for God/Jesus keeps on growing as I continue to pursue Him. During the night God wakes me up at certain times with either a word from Him and/or a dream. So here’s my journal entry for today.
May 28: 3:09 “I want to say…”
5:37 “Come alive, come alive”
These last few weeks have been very difficult and I’m hoping I’ve come through the most difficult part of it. I know there was a purpose for them. I know that I need to be joyful when I get persecuted for the cause of Christ, and in my heart I’m so glad that God has given me so many circumstances where I have been persecuted because of following Him. It is really an honour for me, I just need to get past my emotions. Much love and blessings….🧡🧡
May 29: 3:13 (I woke up but hadn’t dreamt anything)
4:22 Oh oh, Your way’s better, oh oh, your way’s better.
5:30 In a vision I reached over a barrier and took my black sandals that were on the grass (vague), and then I saw a lady carefully step over the barrier. Yesterday I helped some people bring dirt to a garden (here at my moms place) and took off my sandals to walk barefoot on the grass.
5:58 “oh Carolyn” I saw a lady point with her thumb kind of behind her, and then I saw an orange basketball. I had coffee together with a friend today and I told her this dream. We talked about it and I was deeply relieved to know the interpretation; The lady pointing behind her and seeing an orange basketball represents that the journey of me doing difficult things are done and are behind me. God knows that I’ve accepted Jesus in my heart and that I will always follow Him.
6:09 In a vision I was slow dancing in Jesus’ arms.
6:32 I saw a Christmas tree the size of my hand like it was hanging in the air, and I saw a string hanging from it. I couldn’t see the end of the string in my dream because it went past my line of vision.
I had a dream where I was with a group of people when someone came to me and told me the story of a married couple. The couple had been in a prophetic prayer group when the Lord spoke to her and told her that she should marry a certain person, and the person she needed to marry was someone in her group that was sitting beside her. So when she heard the Lord say this she got up and told him that God told her she needed to marry him. In my dream when the lady told me their story I opened my mouth in amazement.
Another dream where Bella was giving me something as a surprise. She told me not to look, then soon afterwards I looked and saw she had given me two belly button rings. I saw one more clearly and saw it was gold (I think) and very beautiful. In my dream I saw a picture of a flat belly with a stud thinking that that’s how a belly should look. In waking life about a week ago we walked to the salon and she got her second ear piercing for her birthday. I’ve also been thinking that I need to get into shape again. I haven’t done CrossFit in awhile. I also had a vision of a door opening and vitamins on a counter. Today my sister brought me some vitamins. I wasn’t sure if this was just me. I’m the head and not the tail. I am who God says I am, I’m loved, I’m His daughter, and I’m walking in my God given purpose. Missing my family every minute of every day… 🫶🏻
May 30: 4:09 “My daughter, welcome”
5:52 A dream where I was really high up on a balcony looking down (or I was as high as a balcony, standing on stilts), and I saw how high I was. I wasn’t afraid!
6:56 “God knows what He’s going to do” (I heard this in my heart right before waking up) I dreamt that it was evening and I was at an event. There was a lot of food on the back of one of the trucks. Jesus and I hadn’t seen each other for a long time so at first I was shy when I was around Him. I was standing by all the desserts, wondering which one to take when one of the kids said something about taking some cake. So then I thought yes, I’m going to have cake. Then I had taken some and had eaten it. Then I thought I should have more cake and I wondered if there was more. I think I had thrown out my bowl or plate or whatever it was that I had put my peace of cake in, so I got another bowl. I had put the rest of the cake in my bowl and scraped the rest of the cake from the sides of the container (looked like an ice cream container) into my bowl and I remember thinking it looked like a lot but I was going to eat it all.
Then the scene changed where I was at the top of a ladder, wobbling, and I looked and saw Jesus coming out of the back door of the building. He saw my predicament and walked quickly to help. He was casually saying something as he walked towards me and I responded, trying to focus so I wouldn’t fall. Then he held the ladder as I came down. (I reached the top and now I’m done with the difficult season of testing)
Then the scene changed where I was walking around the trucks in the back of the buildings and I saw all the water on the ground. It was dark out. Then there was a lady standing close by and another one came quickly and said something about someone needing something and ran to get him (it wasn’t high sugar levels but it had something to do with stabilizing something in his body). I wanted to help so the lady said something like maybe I can wipe the table, so I quickly went to do that. Then it was all done and I was walking around in the area (like we were at a campground with buildings in various places), looking for the building where He was staying. Then I saw it and began walking towards it, and I saw He was walking towards the door from the back where they had helped him. I had noticed that he had been in his building before that, feeling sad that I wasn’t taking more interest in him. I quickly ran towards him and yelled his name a few times. I think he was in the doorway when I said his name again and said something to him. He looked at me and I told him something. Then I said, “I also want to say…” and said something, and then I think I finally said what I really wanted to say, which was, “God told me to tell you that I need to marry you.” We were standing by the door, and there was an open tent where we were standing so I had quickly made sure no one was hiding in it that could hear us. Then I kissed him on the side of his lips; he responded but didn’t want others to see. Then we were holding hands with interlaced fingers, and I squeezed his hand three times to say I love you as we began walking forward together among the people who were there. Then we had walked, holding hands with our fingers interlaced, and we stopped because there were kids doing something (sitting on the ground) and we didn’t want them to see us holding hands but we kept holding hands). They didn’t look and then they left and we continued to walk together with our fingers interlaced. I believe this represents the part of my journey with God where my heart is being drawn by His love and it is shown in intimate ways. As I’m believing God’s truth in my heart about my value and worth, my love and trust for God grows. In my dream, walking with Jesus with our hands interlaced (or my kiss) shows that I’ve come to love and trust God deeply in our walk together… In my journey with the Lord He’s led me to open this website to share my journey with Him, with others, and there are many moments where I would rather be more private because of how personal it is. I’m always sharing the vulnerability of my heart. I continue to do this because it’s what God has asked me to do, believing my journey with Jesus will encourage others.
Last night I awoke at 4:09 and began praying in the Spirit. I immediately heard in my heart, “I’m anxious.” I told anxious to go in Jesus’ name and then immediately I heard, “My daughter,welcome.” Then I remembered always hearing, “welcome” at the beginning of every meditation, and so I immediately listened to the latest one, not falling asleep this time. In it I completely felt like I was in the arms of Jesus and that I had ascended into God’s thrown room. My heart is full of peace, joy, rest, and love. 💛💛
Blessings…
May 31:1:21
3.27 “oh oh, your ways better oh oh, your ways better”
5:37 I awoke and prayed in the Spirit and listened to most of the meditation before falling asleep.
6:36 I saw an orange door opening before me.
8:01 In a dream I saw an apple. I saw into the apple from the top and saw lots of light inside the core of the apple. The light was so bright that all I saw was white light in it. Blessings…
June 1: 4:16 “Oh oh, Your way’s better, oh oh, Your way’s better.”
4:27 I dreamt something about clocks.
Come, rest, I am faithful. I know your name. (While in prayer I heard this in my heart)
4:33 In prayer I saw a picture of a family standing, their arms around each other.
7:56 The gospel
In a dream where Jesus was with me. I told him that I wish we had more privacy (we were outside and I sensed people walking around, some close and some further away). In the dream I had been doing everything I could to please Him, to serve Him. Then I saw Him sitting and looking at me. I had a sense that it was evening or that it was dark. I believe this dream represents that I’ve submitted my heart to Jesus, doing His will. Blessings…
June 2: 12:30 “Testing time will be over” or “testing time is over”
2:24
6:00 I had a dream that I took a big bite from an apple (as I was listening to a meditation)
6:09 I was building something with a lady. I was using the saw to cut wood. We were in a hurry. I saw a piece of wood that was leaning against the door that was shut (Before that I was helping someone bring a machine up a steep cliff of sand. We were driving on it and I was holding on at the back. I had a feeling like it had tipped over one time but this time it didn’t. Then I was pushing the sand (at the top of the cliff) so that it wasn’t as sharp, but that the edge was more rounded to get the machine onto the top of it.) A scene where the blade wasn’t on the handle. My cousin had come in to see how we were doing and we were doing well. Then we found the round blade and because I didn’t know how to put it together I quickly called his name to see if he could help, he came but then the lady said she knew how to do it. There was a pin missing that looked like an unused staple (I saw a few on the floor) and she found it and was putting it together.
Then there was a scene where the cutting of the wood was done, two columns (with pieces of wood underneath each other) beside each other (like a caramilk) and had two layers. I had the edges of the last two pieces of wood in my hands that weren’t usable and I dropped them onto other pieces of wood that we weren’t using. There was a scene where someone was listening to a lesson in a different room and someone was explaining the lesson to him, and I was hurrying so that I would be done quickly.
I had a toddler who was hungry, sitting in her high chair. I noticed she had begun to eat wood so I was taking pieces of wood out of her mouth, being careful not to hurt her mouth as I was gently taking the pieces out. Then when the last piece was out I had a knowing that while I was building, she had been hungry and I had forgotten to feed her so I was going to give her food.
8:00 A short dream, seeing a woman looking at a long blade of green grass that had broken. She was admiring the simplicity of it, how beautiful it was to see the milk inside of it. She was smiling in awe of God’s wonderful creation.
In a dream I saw something like rides in the sky. They were lines that would go all over the place in the sky and I was thinking they were rides. Another dream where I was watching a big character; A journey where there was a big and small character being taken on a ride. and the big white character waited patiently for the small character to trust. I saw that little by little the small character trusted as they sat, resting, in the ride that was carrying them along. Blessings…
I made soup today at my mom’s, chopped lots of veggies. Lucas came and picked me up, saw their band and choir, sounded really nice. I’m looking forward to this week. 🫶🏻
June 3: 5:53 “The sun comes up it’s a new day dawning, it’s time to sing your song again…”
6:31
6:43 “34:17”
9:43 “We’re coming into horsepower”
Tonight I gazed up at the night sky and saw the many beautiful stars that God has created. I’m in awe at His beauty. The Big Dipper has seven stars, so peaceful, so perfect.
I love You Lord. Oh Your mercy never fails me. All my days are held in Your hand. From the moment that I wake up, until I lay my head, oh I will sing, of the goodness of God. All my life Yo have been faithful. All my life You have been so, so good. With every breath that I am able, I will sing of the goodness of God. I love Your voice, You have led me through the fire, and the darkest night, You are close like no other. I’ve known You as a Father, I’ve known You as a friend, and I have lived in the goodness of God. Your goodness is running after, is running after me. With my life laid down I’m surrendered now I give You everything, cause Your goodness is running after, it’s running after me. ❤️🔥
June 4:3:47 I saw a window
5:28 “Here I am, coming close, I need you right now Jesus.”
5:43 Seeing someone and knowing they had the booklet. (Vague)
5:52 A lady walking with her sweater or jacket hanging in her arms
5:55 “He’s got the whole world, in His hands He’s got the whole world, in His hands”
7:23 In a dream someone was going to tell me something. Feeling like he had waited for the right moment, and that what he was going to tell me was sobering.
8:00 “Waiting for those guys for so long.”
8:42 “10” My sister and I went to the thrift store with our mom and I saw a pair of shoes that were size 10! for $5 so I bought them. I need shoes like that. They’re a bit loose but comfortable. Blessings..
June 5: 11:37 I woke up with a start because I heard in my left ear a sound like someone hit a pot. Then I declared things that are spoken in heaven, that I know are Gods will, “Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.”
2:23 I dreamt something about doing something right and being in agreement about something.
4:24 I heard two German words right before waking up, “hiech sanne” wondering if it means to be at a high place?
Yesterday I bought a notebook to begin writing decrees and declarations as I’m learning about how to do them. I’ve organized the camper trailer and will now have more time to spend with God. I will have the mindset of already being with God, praying from Him and not to Him (I am in Him and He is in me). I’m more determined to walk in my calling and I’m also determined to keep my heart at rest with Jesus as I’m following Him. I’m going horseback riding this morning and I’m so excited!! I had a dream where I was in a big building and I saw the beautiful sunshine outside, and I said something about it being a sunny day. Blessings…
I went riding with my niece! I had so much fun! It was so good to be on a horse again. We’ll probably go riding again before they bring the horses to Bible Camp. Blessings…🫰🏼
June 6:1:13 “Come My daughter, rest.”(While in prayer)
6:44 “It’s gonna be okay”
I bought size 10 shoes and they actually fit perfectly. I realize that 10 represents being full.. my cup is filled. This coming week I’m looking forward to learning to be with Him in the stillness. Blessings…
June 7:1:43 An animal like a moose (I only saw the head) was staring at my mom and I tried lifting my foot to distract it but my foot was to heavy to lift, so then I tried waving my arm and it was heavy too. I wanted to distract it so it wouldn’t hurt my mom. I said something about giving it a bucket for Christmas. They were staring at each other face to face.
3:49 “I’m running back to you”
5:37 “It”s gonna be okay”
I had a dream where there was an angry man who said something about not getting paid for doing something (feeling like he was in a group) and I was trying to comfort him, telling him that I understand.
Another dream where there was a small person swimming on his back along a wavy channel that went around, having the time of his life because he was doing it so well. I stood in the middle, watching him, thinking that I was too big for it. Blessings…🙏🏼
June 8: 3:03 “A “B”as in..”
4:45 Come, rest, I will draw your heart to Mine.” (in prayer)
I had a nightmare. I got away by sliding on a short slide that led into a room. In this room a lady told me that because I escaped, I could live but I would be in this place of torment, bondage. In this place a girl casually said something as she read the newspaper and the guy plucked out her eyes because she said what she read; I heard the pop as he plucked them out. Then she was crying, trying to find her way among the people who were there. I saw some people walking fast and I thought that was cool and then they showed me how they got people to walk so fast; they dragged them by a cart, so to avoid that they were walking so fast. I was on a balcony and across the empty space (like in a mall where we can see the floors below), a women was walking casually, having no idea what kind of hell I (and everyone there), was living in, even though we were in plain sight. I was determined to leave that place. There was a scene where it was night and I saw a man leave; I was inside at the door and then I went back in. I also had a dream where I had been with the Queen and prince William, and it had been so nice.
7:10 “stay” sensing the time was 10:30. (I heard this in my heart right before waking up) I know in waking life I need to rest, so I’m going to stay at rest. 🫶🏻
8:21 I saw several women wearing dresses (same kind, strait, above the knee, enjoying being young, and seeing someone like one of my friends walking through a door as she was talking with me.
8:26 I was almost asleep and I saw a car turning a corner, coming towards me.
8:29 “Ya, come and visit, I got you.”
8:33 “oh my goodness, I’m finished here.”
8:37 I saw a picture of shorts that were made from the material that my bag is made from; it was made in Uganda.
8:43 I vaguely dreamt something about planting a young tree into the ground. Blessings…🫰🏼
3:43 During a nap I dreamt something about going to my church and “see.”
3:56 I was almost asleep when I saw a picture of a person wearing a yellow shirt.
4:02 A dream of someone tossing a peanut to a someone sitting on the floor.
4:11 A vision of a woman pulling her man close to her, smiling and having fun as they were walking together.
4:23 A dream of someone wearing a yellow shirt, facing me and smiling.
4:30 In a vision I saw someone had a big smile on their face, laughing joyfully.
I see now, thank You Holy Spirit for opening my eyes. Im going to keep posting what God shows me, but I’m done with drinking from the well of difficulty. I’m thankful for it because I know that God has pruned me while I was in it; I’ve been in God’s refiners fire and now I believe the fire has done its work in me. I’m going to begin growing in God and in my calling in a new way. Thank you Lord, I worship You with all my heart. I am Yours and You are mine. I had a French Toast Latte today at church, so good.. Blessings…💛
June 9:3: “oh oh, Your ways better oh oh, Your way’s better”
6:44 “Not deny” (I heard this in my heart right before waking up)
6:58 I saw a picture of a writing pen
7:02 I saw someone doing something outside like cleaning up after an event, and he was telling a story to someone saying, “you were here.”
7:07 “I always knew you could be like this I saw flashes and glimpses before.. seemed like a distant dream and now you’re walking through the door, when I see you again..
7:10 “I love you My darling, rest”
June 10: 11:37? I had a dream where someone kind of bent down a bit, looking at me and asking something about the gospel (hearing the word, “gospel.”)
5:18 “…this is grace. And it covers up the most shameful thing that you have done, and is big enough for every living thing under the sun and so it’s time to forget the doubt to which we’ve clung for God so loved the world that He sent His only Son.“ (Creation to Salvation)
5:27 (Creation to Salvation song)
7:08 I saw two fingers (pointer and middle) close to me, pointing at me.
7:33 I saw a picture of the top of my appointment book when I did hair.
7: “update”
7:51 “Freedom”
7:56 “1 to 50 years” a vision of a woman telling me she had been living in a shack or shed, being held captive for 1 to 50 years. We were standing outside. It reminds me that I need to lean into the Lord. Blessings…🫶🏻
June 11: 12:13 I heard something about being together.
4:30 (4:31?) oh oh, your ways better
5:33 I heard something in my heart about understanding.
5:44 A vision of someone standing outside who had just chopped down a tree.
6:29 In a vision I drove past a yellow sign that had something written on it.
6:42 A vision, seeing a knot being tied.
7:56 I woke up feeling that I was comforted and reassured.
8:07 Hearing a soft, “wake up” in my heart.
I’m looking forward to spending quality time with God.💛
June 12: 1:21 “Reassures her”
3:08 “Back to the table back to my heart”
3:52 “with my arms wide open I’m running back to you.”
4:09 2 Timothy 1:7 says, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear but of power, love, and a sound mind.” So I bind fear and confusion in Jesus name and I loose God’s power, God’s love and Gods soundness of mind in me and in my life. Thy Kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. In Jesus’ name amen.
5:01 My heart is on fire with God’s love, knowing in my heart that I’m actually the bride of Christ. I think truly knowing this has finally come into my heart.
5:18 The children’s song came to mind, “Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so. Little ones to Him belong, they are weak but He is strong. Yes JesusI loves me. Yes Jesus loves me, yes Jesus loves me, the Bible tells me so.”
6:09 a vision of a cat running back into its yard.
6:30 “It’s supposed to rain today” (I’m waking up to the prophetic? because it’s a sunny day today) (I sat on the trampoline today and had an awesome conversation with my niece and nephew. She taught me how to play the ukulele! She taught me the F, C, and G chords, and I played the song, Jesus loves me. I would love to have a ukulele!)
6:37 In a vision I was walking through the woods and I saw a brown wooden house through the trees.
6:41 “He bled and died to take away my sin”
6:44 “Even if you didn’t rise from the dead.” (Meaning, I rose from the dead, yes! I died to myself, to my flesh, and rose to life)
6:51 I had a vision or dream of seeing someone had given their cat, cat food.
6:54 In a vision, seeing someone wearing orange and hearing “in God’s Kingdom, so…” (I’m in God’s Kingdom)
7:00 “I am captivated”
7:15 In a dream I saw a Pine tree. Around the trunk of the tree there was a lot of dirt, but about half of it had been dug out.
7:21 “So how was your day?”
7:23 “Arizona” I saw a plastic bag of brown almonds on the counter.
7:42 “clear” In a dream a little girl who was mentally a bit slow was looking down and didn’t want to be led by me because I wasn’t her teacher. She covered her face with her hair and didn’t want to look at me. I had tried to lead her into swaying from one foot to the other. Then I looked and saw she wasn’t in the front anymore (the spot was empty).
Then someone was giving people their school pictures (students were sitting at their desks, looking at their pictures). At first my picture wasn’t at my desk and then I saw something on my desk and seeing someone bringing my photo there. (Though I had a feeling like I had gotten my school photo already) I believe I’m being called to sit on my throne in heaven (spiritually) because I know who I am in Christ (my photo was being brought there or I had already received it).
8:36 Vas ist das? (What is that?) In waking life my sister Cathy and I are practicing our German, so fun! Though what I heard is in high German.
I had a vision of a wooden door opening.
8:49 I saw Bella’s pink cup that she had when she was a little girl. In my dream it was very big and I had a feeling of it being a laundry basket. I do need to do laundry today, and I do have her cup (and Lucas’) here. I’m looking forward to spending time with them. I’m so thankful that today’s a sunny day!!!!🧡 Blessings…
June 13:4:03 “I’m ready”
6:12 “Don’t give up on me yet.”
6:21 I’m gonna get though this, through this I’m gonna get through this do help me God.”
I had a dream where someone was trying to bounce a ball into a window of a big ship but it didn’t have a good bounce. The person was supposed to make it bounce once, go over the water and land into a window. So she bounced the ball on the land.
Another dream where I was quickly getting ready for company, and I saw the living room table on a couch.
6:30 Wisdom water
7:12 I had a vision of being in a barn and I put a big bag of dog food down in front of a wide open door, and it was bright outside.
7:21 “My ears are hungry and my eyes are too.”
7:26 “smile”
9:16. Hope
I enjoyed a baseball game today with my sister Cathy and her husband (who played). At the game when I was in the bathroom the ball landed right on my seat! Tomorrow will be a quieter day. Blessings…
June 14: 5:33 “Lord I need you now more than ever got to put my heart back together.”
I dreamt that I was cutting pieces (maybe 2inches) of shaved carrots (I saw the orange colour). I had a quick picture of them being claws before that, vague. I was holding the shaved carrots with my fingers and I was cutting the length of them maybe twice.
I dreamt something about food and one of my friends. Also something about putting lots of small yogurt’s into a bag.
8:11 I dreamt that I had momentarily fallen asleep while driving and when I woke up the car had gone backwards, partially into a ditch. I could feel that the tires were being slowed down by long grass or something and I think I pressed the brakes so that I wouldn’t go deeper into the ditch. I looked up at the windshield and saw white on all the windows.
I also dreamt that I was in my place that I was living in, listening to a brown speaker that looked like a ghetto -blaster (it had two speakers). It was a bit loud so I turned down the volume, looking behind it and seeing something I needed to press to make it quieter -I didn’t want to disturb the people who lived beside me. Then my face was near the ground and I saw feet with sandals walking towards me; it was as though they were on the other side of a curtain and I could see underneath it. When they got closer I stood up and saw it was Lucas and then I saw Bella following him. It felt like someone was trying to push me down as I was standing up from bending down. Before that happened I looked to see if anyone was there and didn’t see anyone and so I had bent down again. I think this was when I turned down the volume, and I noticed that the speakers changed from being in the back to being in the front and my music was quieter in the front speakers. Lucas and Bella were a younger version of themselves and they wanted to take me home. Lucas said something like, “come let’s go.” I could tell they were tired of me being away.
9:12 I dreamt that a bird like an eagle landed on a tree branch. I was looking up into the tree and I think there was an eagle already there and another eagle came and was landing there too. In waking life I’ve been watching a family of eagles as the baby eagles are growing up. The young eagles can now fly.
9:58 I dreamt that I was looking at something personal and I wouldn’t look away.
11:09 In a dream I saw a girl with her eyes wide open.
12:02 I dreamt/had a knowing about something positive but I didn’t write it down right away so I forgot what it was. I finally got enough sleep. I feel like I’m a baby, learning how to walk in a newfound way of growing my relationship with God. In my quiet time with God I heard in my heart a gentle whisper, the word, “ascend.” In my heart I know that I’m already the bride of Christ so I’m going to remain at rest and trust God that He is in that rest. Blessings…
I’m so thankful for my church family and my closest friends who don’t give up on me and who do more for their family and friends than they know. I’m thankful for their grace for me for when I’m oblivious to my self-centredness; I apologize deeply for these times. It’s because of these special people that I know what love is because of the patience and kindness that I’ve come to know in them… thank you from the bottom of my heart….🫶🏻
June 15: 12:41 In a vision I was on a green hill and saw a beautiful farm.
12:50 “Your phone..”
5:16 “Lord I need you now more than ever got to put my heart back together”
5:45 pot of flowers (vision)
6:32 In a vision I saw a girl come and ask for cake. 🧡
My sister Cathy said there’s a bear hanging around their garbage so I need to be careful. They have a dog though, which keeps the bear away. This afternoon instead of thinking about the waves that could crash over me I’m finishing my drawing and will start painting soon. It’s a peaceful afternoon, blessings…
June 16: 4:55 “Ascending sound of Israel “
5:02 A vision, I saw someone crawl through an opening into a room or big camper trailer.
5:09 “Got home safely”
5:13 I saw yellow in a vision
June 17: 1:43 In this dream someone had papers in their hand. Today I signed papers when I signed my drivers and registration.
3:43 “clean”
4:39 “by the covenant she wrote.”
5:12 “and she walks with me and she talks with me and she tells me I am his own” (lyrics)
June 19: I saw myself, looking solemnly at myself.
2:29 I saw someone standing on a bridge.
2:32 A picture
4:04 “I missed you guys so much.”Seeing my kids again was so good. Bella and I were crying and I told her that while we were apart I missed her so much. In my dream I was putting bobby pins in her hair. I saw her bangs as she looked up to me.
4:30 “Chasing back the dark, gonna see you again, on a gold street standing next to me I know, gonna see you again”
4:33 “and we meet once more and we’ll say something like, I always knew you could be like this I saw flashes and glimpses before. The day seemed like a distant dream and now you’re walking through the door.”
7:02 There was a black horse and a white horse and I saw someone on a white horse.
8:47 I woke up. I was on a go cart, going 100 miles an hour.
I saw my mom and dad, they were side by side. I told my mom that you know what love is when you don’t have it. I told her this from past experience and I looked into her eyes when I said it. Then I had a black tube about two or three inches in diameter and saw an orange substance like an egg yoke and began drinking from it. When I began drinking from it, it popped open like an egg yoke. I knew this was egg yoke substance was from my dad.
I was high up on a ladder, holding a kid in place who was going to the bathroom. He was on a thing that I was holding in place so that he wouldn’t fall. He had begun to tilt but I pulled him back into place. Then I was by myself high on a ladder when it began to tilt and I began coming towards the floor and landed securely with both my feet on the floor. I felt secure and felt strong as I landed.
I had a dream where I was holding a baby in my arms.
I was looking for a place to rent and I had a feeling like I was on the road beside the 311 coming into town. I was in the house looking around and I knew that there were rooms for rent and a common kitchen that I could use. I was talking with the owner. I saw the house had lots of stuff in it.
I had a dream where I was looking at a house, noticing the driveway. The driveway was paved and I saw a skinnier “driveway” beside the main driveway (cemented onto the main driveway yet beside) which was the driveway that led to the basement parking lot for the person renting the basement of the house. I could tell that they had made their house into a rentable basement. (My mom’s condo has a basement parking area. I’m staying there for night this coming night. Ended up staying for the weekend.)
June 20:1:39 Surrendering
5:36 “strings attached”lyrics
Bella and I were in the car and Bella was practicing driving. We were backing up when she lost control and I didn’t know what to do. She yelled to press the brakes and then I managed to press the brakes. Then we were in an office, the driving instructors office and I saw we had backed up into a filing cabinet. Then I noticed we were in a garage and the garage door was closed. Then the driving instructor was talking to the person who was learning to drive, putting a paper away in the filing cabinet. Then he noticed I was standing there and said he would be right with me.
Then I was in a room and there were some other people there. Bella left the room to go talk with someone. Then Bella came back and said,”Yes!” and did a body motion of being excited. When she came back the people acted like they were oblivious.
I chewed and ate my retainer. As I was eating it I wondered why I was eating it, since it was so important to me to use.
June 21: 2:26 food on the table
June 22: 2:00 Peanuts
June 23: 11:41 A dream of Connie walking through a door and walking into someone’s house. The owners were by the door and had let her in. She was wearing a striped cardigan.
I was moving across the room doing a moonwalk.
1:17 “Lynda, my blood is boiling”
In a dream I didn’t want someone to get her hair cut. I didn’t want her husband to cut her hair. She had coloured her hair brown and it was in a ponytail. I was helping her be determined.
1:31 Lord I need you oh I need you. Every hour I need you.
3:32 “with my arms wide open I’m running back to you.”
3:53 “with my arms wide open I’m running back to you”
7:20 “44,45”
8:16 I dreamt I had two kids in my first marriage. Dustin and Stella. They were foster kids somewhere and I didn’t remember them; Connie told me about them. I had a knowing that they were going to join us and live with us. I had a knowing that we were going to have kids, and that we were going to teach Dustin and Stella how to live a Godly life (Connie told me that they were a bit rebellious). In my dream I was looking at a thing that had lots of names on it to see what their names meant, and a lady was helping me. Stella: Star, Dustin: Thor’s stone (thunderstone); strength, steadfastness, resilience
June 24:11:54 I saw the colour green
I had a dream where I was in a church and I saw two people being intimate underneath a thin blanket and I ran from there, seeing a leader and pointing to them. She went there and lifted the covers. Then I was in the sanctuary and the service was done. Everyone had gone to Sunday school and I stood there not knowing what to do or where to go. I also dreamt that I looked at myself in the mirror and pulled up my dress, thinking it was too revealing.
June 25:3:01 I had a dream where I chose something, but I don’t remember. I’m in a place of rest, not striving. It had something to do with starting at one point, then a journey to the second point.
4:36 A dream where we were standing at the edge of a field and I saw a car coming at us quickly from the road; I was afraid and we quickly went back into the field, going across the field (past a yellow blanket) and right to the finish line in a house or a small place like the camper trailer, touching the finish line. It was like we were on a little boat and we were paddling very quickly, knowing there was someone right behind us. Having won the race I saw all the countries that the person behind us was going to race (flipping through pages like a photo album). In this dream there was always someone with me, helping me, but I never saw the person, just sensed their presence.
4:53 “huddle together”
5:38 “speed on the law”
7:37 “Barber and bop morris were setting it ablaze”
I had a dream where someone asked me if I was coming tonight and I said yes and that I was bringing my newborn baby. There were other things in the dream but I’m remembering that I’m not striving but resting, learning how to grow deeper in my relationship with the Lord. I fear that I won’t hear Him (I have dreams, though now I don’t know which ones are from God, from the enemy or just my own thoughts, but when I deliberately want to hear from Him in prayer is when I don’t hear Him); learning how to ascend is difficult. I heard “Luc Niebergall” in my heart yesterday and knew this was from the Lord. So I looked on my shelf saw his book, Pioneer, so I continued reading his book. I had read chapter one already. It’s been so difficult for me to read books for the last few years. I’m going to focus on reading this book first and then “Life is a highway.” My heart is completely shattered; God has my complete attention. I dreamt last night that I was spoon feeding broth to a big bird, maybe an owl. Blessings..💛
June 25: 11:52 PM “Shine shmickya” (tastes good -German-not the right spelling)
11:59 I saw orange
June 26: I don’t remember my dream specifically but I remember talking with people.
7:27 “back”
8:38 “PK made a mistake” (I heard this but the feeling I had was that it was a different person)
I had a dream where I was in town, in the house with my kids (their dad wasn’t there). I was with Bella and I saw the vacuum cleaner. Then I was in my white truck (in waking life I don’t have a white truck). It was after school, it was sunny and I saw Lucas rollerblading on the road; he had just come back from school. My driver side window was open and I kind of leaned out and yelled, “hi Lucas,” and he replied “hi” back as he roller bladed back to the house. Then I had started to drive away when I thought I’d go back and pick up a few more things from the house. So I was turning around on the road; I saw a white snow bank and instead of backing up before driving forward I decided to go forward and complete my turn by driving through the snow bank. Because it was spring the snow bank was melting and I got stuck in the snow. So I got out of the truck and went behind it and saw that both back wheels were in the air because I was stuck in a ditch. When I put my hand on the truck I felt it rock. I had a thought to push it out but knew I needed help. I didn’t want to look to see how far I could fall, but there was a house close by that the truck would need to go around if it was going to fall. I climbed out of the ditch; my foot had a good grip on the ground where the snow had melted so I got out of the ditch with no difficulty.
There was a scene where I was standing on a brown wooden floor. There was a round hole about two inches in diameter on the floor, and I saw someone was pushing metal pipes through it. I immediately began helping by taking the pipes and putting them to the side; the person didn’t know I was there. Then I saw he was pushing a brown wooden post through it and I took it. Then I saw that he had put his hand through the hole and was trying to feel where the stuff was that he had just pushed through, and I reassured him saying, “they’re here.” Resting is my portion, and I believe that I will see the humble and gentleness of God. Hoping my kids will want to come and visit, missing them so much..
June 27: 12:12
3:57 G (a fruit that starts with a G: grapes or grapefruit maybe)
I had a dream where Bella had painted a beautiful flower; in the middle it was white like the sun and blended into being yellow. I was writing my name at the top of it. At first I thought I had made a mistake by beginning to write caroling (singing, the reason why my parents gave me my name) but then I realized that it wasn’t a mistake and continued writing my name. Her picture was very big and was on a wall. I had a thought that this was her painting and I didn’t want to make it about myself by writing my name so big. I’m planning to finish drawing my flower picture and then I’ll paint it.
A scene where I was with Bella and I needed to encourage her about talking to a lady. As she began talking to her she was gathering more courage. As she was talking, seeing that the lady was kind, a shawl began slipping from her shoulders and I gently took it. There was a sense that a lady was doing well and that she wasn’t in the hospital. Connie encouraged me to talk with a pastor counsellor. I texted her yesterday, planning on a phone, zoom appointment.
A dream that I was opening the window beside my bed from the inside, letting the sunshine in. I always open that window. In the natural it opens from the outside but in my dream I opened it from the inside, which tells me that my heart is open and I’m letting the Son shine in..☀️
Today I’m going to start the process of growing roots in my onions to plant in the garden next week. Lucas and Bella are coming on Monday to Wednesday this coming week, so excited! I’m planning our meals and snacks. 🥤I’m not striving anymore.. rest is my portion..
June 28: 1:58 In a dream I was in the middle of doing a flip like on a trampoline. My kids are coming over, so excited!
4:42 “And the angels cry, Holy, all creation cries, Holy. You will always be, Holy, Holy forever.”
Resting…💛
My sisters dog is such a good guard dog; he’s right by my door. I have joy; God is so good. I wrote basically every word of P King’s podcast of today and am planning on reading it regularly; the enemy will be sorry he ever came after me! I find that when I take notes from what others have written, I’m able to learn it better because I read it everyday.
These are the flowers Connie bought for me; I planted them while it was raining after church a week ago. Blessings…. 🙏🏼
June 29: 6:06 “and I know it’s not much, but I’ve nothing else fit for a King, and all that I have is a hallelujah, hallelujah.”
A dream where all that was needed was a shepherd government system to lead the people. And I saw this was going to be provided as I was looking at something like a computer, and I was so excited as I said something to the person, “Did you see this?” That’s all that is needed, a shepherd for the people. It was so exciting!
Resting..
The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in the paths of righteousness for His names sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, Thou art with me. Thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou prepareth a table before me in the presence of my enemies. Thou anointeth my head with oil, my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and love (and mercy) follows me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. Amen. Psalm 23 Goodnight, blessings..🙏🏼
June 30:1:42 “are you washed by the blood of the lamb” (lyrics)
8:17 “It’s you I trust” (lyrics)
July 1: 6:22 “for a thousand years..” (lyrics)
July 2: 4:40 I closed my mouth quickly, thinking I was talking in my sleep.
July 3: 2:58 Free
3:33
3:54 “I’m never getting over you..”
5:52
5:55 vacation
8:33 Translate
July 6: 12:50 “a thousand years”
4:54 “a thousand years”
July 7: 1:56 “I have decided, to follow Jesus!”
2:50 (maybe 51) “I have decided, to follow Jesus!”
6:30 “I’ll take you at your word. If You said it I believe it.”
I had a dream where I agreed and said yes about Jesus.
In my heart I heard “Good for you” sometime in the night. This morning when I was talking with my sister about flour (I had my coconut flour in her kitchen), I read on the orange part, “Deliciously good for you!” I will be taking biblical courses this summer.
July 8: 6:10 “order my friend”
6:38 “we can get together.” (Lyrics)
I dreamt that I had been on a path that didn’t feel safe. Then at the end everyone was very friendly. I was relieved because I was welcomed and it was an approved event. (I’m trusting in God that He has me as I rest.)
A dream where there was nothing on the hallway walls of Lucas’ school. Everything had been taken down because the school year was done. The hallway was empty.
Another dream where someone fell, caught sitting but was safe.
Yesterday I dreamt that Jesus and I were in the same dream and that I had my mouth open to eat. A dream where everything was white inside a house that was being built. Another dream of missing my kids and wanting to be with them.