“Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is -His good, pleasing and perfect will.” -Romans 12:12
Conversation
Papa, I love You. Thank-You that You hear me. Thank-You that You are near to me. I trust You to hold my heart in Your hands and to breathe more life into it. I’m not satisfied with where I’m at with You; I want more of You. I want to grow deeper in You. I want to know You more intimately.
Come My daughter, it’s time. I love you and I’m near to you. You are Mine.
I’m ready Papa! I’m going to do everything You ask me to do. I’m going to search for the things You want me to do.
Come My daughter, it’s time.
I’m coming Papa. Help me to see and have an understanding about when You show me things and when You speak words to me. I don’t want to miss You anymore.
I will help you My loved one. You are Mine.
Reflection
Hello and welcome to my Journal. Life in the valley can be very difficult, but we need to remember that God is always faithful. Right now I’m in a valley, being tested and pruned so that in God’s time I’ll be ready to walk out of this valley, Victorious! What I’ve been doing so I don’t stay in a place of despair is spending time with God and crying out to Him because I know He hears me and He loves me. I’m keeping on doing what He’s already asked me to do. I’m clinging onto hope because God is my firm foundation. God is faithful and I know that He will never let me down, and I’m going to stay faithful to Him. He has shown me His faithfulness more times than I can count, and I know His love through that. God gives me dreams and wakes me up at certain times. As you read my journal my hope is that even though I’m in a valley in my life, I hope you will be inspired to always keep your heart open to God no matter what’s going on in your life, because God is a God of Love and He always has a Good plan for our life. He knows how to lead us; we just need to trust Him and follow Him!
12:37/38 I woke up, hearing these lyrics in my heart, “Lift me up, hold me down. Keep me close, safe and sound.” (Burning in a hopeless dream, hold me when you go to sleep… keep me in the warmth of your love. When you depart, keep me safe, safe and sound… Drowning in an endless sea, take some time and stay with me… Keep me in the strength of your arms… keep me safe, safe and sound…)
1:15 Rise up, Rise up! Rise up, Rise up!
1:30 Come
1:31 I’m coming Papa… Please help me come!
1:32 I am always with you.
1:36 Lift me up. Hold me close,
1:37 Papa I’m listening. What can I do for You?
1:39 Come near.
1:40 Help me come near Papa.
I will help you My daughter.
1:42 Rise up, Rise up! Rise up, rise up!
1:43 Papa, help me to follow you with everything this week. And help me write my testimony.
1:44 “ Come My daughter, I will surely help you declares the Lord.”
2:04 “You make all things new. From the ashes, I will rise up..”
2:24 “Go to bed my darling. Yes please Papa…”
3:07 A lady wearing big round, brown wooden earrings.
3:16 “Renew” “Renewed?”
3:17 “Yes”
Thank-You Papa..
5:02/03 “..she’s so beautiful, standing next to me, she’s my wife…”
5:20 “You make all things new… You make all things new”
5:24 “For the love of Jesus Christ, who has resurrected me. Praise the Father, praise the Son. Praise the Spirit Three in One.” I dreamt that I I was standing by a door that I had opened (saw the last part of it opening) and I saw Jesus my husband standing in front of me (feeling like I was in the canteen and Jesus was on the stage). I had a feeling like this would be a good opportunity to open my mouth.
Last night we were watching Black Adam. We had seen it awhile ago so it was the second time we were watching it. In the part of the movie when he gave up his powers and they put him in a place underneath the water, I sensed God getting my attention and I asked him in my heart if it was okay that I was watching this. I sensed Him saying no. After a few moments passed I focused on Him again and asked if it was okay, and again I sensed a “no.” So I told my family that I wasn’t feeling well and went to my room. In my room I immediately knelt by my bed to pray in the Spirit and my mouth was on fire! The Holy Spirit was so strong in me that the more passionate I prayed, the faster my prayer language became. I heard a main sound of it, and it sounded a lot like, tick tock (time).
In my heart I was saying, “Yes Papa, yes Papa, yes Papa.” Then I layed on the floor with my forehead on the floor and continued to pray in the Spirit, and then I layed prostrate facing up. Then my hands began shaking (I had them a bit up, to show that He was lifting me up), and after a few minutes I noticed that my hips were shaking, going up and down quickly. As I was transitioning to the floor earlier, I opened my mouth because that was something God had wanted me to do with Jesus my husband, and when I opened my mouth with passion it was like an angel or the Holy Spirit was stretching my mouth as wide open as it would go, so that it was a big circle. I cried and cried with my mouth open like this for awhile. Then as I was still passionately praying, I got up and began walking around my room and knelt by my bed again. This lasted about 30-40 mins I think.
On Sunday we had what was called something like, “Top Beef Serloin Cap” (at home) with two kinds of salads and a potato salad for lunch. I bought myself a big size of Rockets, one of my favourite candy’s for mother day, and Bella made a painting for me at school:) Their dad’s laptop went blank last week so he ordered another one, a refurbished one from Apple which he got today. I told him at church after watching the video about Church Camp that I would like to go this summer and guess what he said? He said that it was a good idea! God is so amazing! I’m planning on booking all three nights on the 22nd. The dream about seeing the lady with big (the size of my wide open mouth) wooden earrings makes me think to open my mouth again. It also could represent putting the board games away. Also the dream standing what felt like I was in the canteen felt like I was opening my mouth. So I’m thinking that the Holy Spirit is leading me to open my mouth again, but as wide as I can this time. Wow, God wants me to do this.. He actually wants us to do this.. I’m so amazed that the God of the whole universe is directing us so closely!!! Yes, how could I ever say no to Him? I’m running to do this for Him! It’s all about Him!!! So I’m praying that God will open a door for this to happen. Another thought, the dream I had about the long seat I was laying on, could that represent the long weekend? I’m planning on going to the funeral tomorrow. I went to Shopgym this morning. The reason there are no videos is because the coach who normally leads the 6 am classes is away for something, so her husband is leading them, and he never records anything. I had to bike to Shopgym this morning because I had forgotten the truck keys in the car the day before, and I couldn’t find the spare truck key. So I needed to figure out the bike helmet and I put our house key onto my wonderful Mother’s Day gift from church:) It was the same one as what Pastor M had on stage, thinking I chose the right one!!! Bella got her braces off today and her teeth look so nice! Lucas is going on a band trip for three days, beginning on Wednesday morning to Friday around 6:00. They’re going to Moose Jaw. Blessings… Goodnight…🫶🏼