“I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” -Galatians 2:20
Conversation and Reflection
April 9: 2:44 I awoke and heard these lyrics in my heart, “and even in your suffering, You saw to the other side, knowing this was our salvation, Jesus for our sake You died. Praise the Father, praise the Son, praise the Spirit, three in One. God of Glory, Majesty, praise forever to the King of kings.”
I went downstairs to pray: Papa, this is how I’m feeling right now. I’ve exposed myself in my most vulnerable area, and now I feel like I’m being made fun of. I know I’m not, but this is how I feel.
3:31 I’m remembering, “Gods Riches At Christ’s Expense”
3:37 Papa, I receive Your Grace.
3:42 Come, I have called you by name. You are Mine.
3:43 Papa, I feel like I’m at my lowest point. How could I come up?
3:48 I fell asleep and woke up and heard these lyrics in my heart, “Christ in my firm foundation. The Rock on which I stand. When everything around me is shaken, I’ve never been more glad, than when I’ve put my faith in Jesus, He’s never let me down. Faithful through generations, He’ll never let me down, He won’t!” I believe You Papa, Jesus..
3:53 My daughter, rise up. I have come to give you rest. You are Mine; I am faithful.
3:56 Jesus
3:57 Rest My daughter. I am here. You are Mine.
4:03 “Show me, who You are and fill me, with Your heart and lead me in Your love to those around me. I will build my house upon Your love, it is a sure foundation. And I will put my trust in You alone, and I will not be shaken.”
4:15 Papa, Jesus, I’m soaking in Your love. Please come and saturate my being. Saturate all of who I am. There is none like You. I’m covered by Your blood.
4:19 “I’m forgiven, because You were forsaken. I’m accepted, You were condemned. I’m alive and well, Your Spirit lives within me, because You died and rose again. Amazing love how can it be, that You my King would die for me. Amazing love, I know it’s true, and it’s my joy to honour You, in all I do, I honour You. You are my King. Jesus You are my King.”
4:43 I had fallen asleep and had a short dream where I saw Jesus’ hand, open, palm facing up, right in front of my face! His hand was big, and He was holding His hand out for me to take!
Yes Jesus, please Jesus, I’m taking Your hand. Please help me up!
6:44 “I may not know what a day may bring, but I know who brings the day.”
I had a quick dream where I had three bananas that I had taken (feeling like they were the last ones). I was going to eat them but then three kids came and I gave one to each of them. I think I peeled each banana before giving it to them. I remember the last banana had a bit of brown closer to the end, so it was ripe.
In this dream, once a year I got to go on some kind of trip, and I went with a kid and I was talking with her about how it always went by so quickly. It was a short weekend trip where others had also gone. The weekend was over and we had such a good time. We were talking about how quickly these go by, anticipating next year. I believe this represents camp. I would have liked to go both times but I think this is referring to that, to only go once.
I was at a big open place like a sports recreation center, playing a game. I was facing a teenager who was up at the front (I was kind of at the side of the room, about 5 or so rows down), throwing a ball over our heads, and the aim was to make it bounce off the back wall hard enough so that it would come back to the front. I saw that she was a bit nervous, not knowing if she could do it, so she geared herself up by swinging her arm around and throwing it like a baseball (I could have seen this vaguely). Then I said it was my turn, and I went up to the front and was gearing myself up to throw the ball really hard. I understood the other person about how nervous one could get, and I tried gearing myself up but had to take a few steps and come back and try again. There was a group of people facing me, standing, like they were the audience. This whole building was open but it wasn’t one square space; the area right beside us was a bigger area and the back wall to that area was further back than where we were. Looking at the wall that was further back I asked if I needed to try and hit that wall, and then they said (I didn’t hear them saying it but I had a knowing like they said it) that it wouldn’t make sense because then the ball would bounce in a direction further away. So I knew to hit the ball on the wall directly in front me. There were people standing between me and the wall, and I threw the ball so hard and so low that it grazed their heads, but they didn’t move away, just stood there. The ball bounced off the back wall and did a zig zag, many times between the side walls (I didn’t see the wall on my right; it felt like it was all open, and the wall on my left felt like the outside wall of the building). The ball didn’t stop but kept coming at me from the back wall like someone was throwing it, and it would go over my head every time. (What am I missing every time? I have a feeling like this takes place in the sanctuary on Sunday mornings, or maybe it’s in the youth room since that’s the place where we play games.) Something that comes to mind about the sanctuary course is, I only read what was given to read, once. I actually didn’t know that there was anything to read at first, and I think that was because I missed the first class because I was in a zoom meeting. So maybe I need to quickly read those before the links don’t work anymore. Then I began thinking to catch the ball every time I saw it coming, but my right arm felt so heavy that I couldn’t put it up. Then as the ball kept coming, I managed to stick up my hand a little further, but not quite high enough. This happened several times, and then with my other hand I would hold up and support my right arm, trying to put it up high enough to catch the ball, and my arm felt so heavy that I couldn’t ever do it. Meanwhile, everyone kept on looking at me, facing me while I was struggling with it. I’m thinking this represents that I need to make a goal that’s actually doable, something that I can grasp. That something is putting my testimony together, but in a way that has a message in it.
By faith I’m taking the hand of Jesus; it’s only in Him that I can stand. Thank-You Jesus for Your Grace, Your blood that covers me. ❤️🔥
April 10: Last night I dreamt that I was behind our SUV with the back open. My hubby/husband was going to go somewhere and meet someone, and I really wanted to come along. I saw that the truck was all full but my husband wanted to put one more thing inside. I had a small glimpse of it; it was in a black rounded case (about 1.5 – 2 feet in diameter), and it was standing up and came up about to my shoulders. I was standing at the back and I saw a lady putting a smaller black hard case into it (reminds me of a musical instrument case), and I told her that my husband could do that because he was a really good packer. Then I was standing in the truck (and the back was still open), and I saw a lady sitting in the drivers seat. I also saw to my left, close to where I was standing, a tall bag (reminds me of a paper leaf bag for leaves in the fall) that had food filled right to the top, in it. This food was food that was ready to eat (from what I saw). I vaguely remember seeing a pulled chicken dish. At the top was a tray of 6 different portions of foods; the tray had two layers of food, and on the top right of this tray was yellow corn (I saw the colour yellow). I saw one of the corn kernels clearly at the top -not corn on the cob). I was so glad to see this bag of food. I had forgotten about it; I had a feeling like I had planned to take it out of the truck but had forgotten about it, so now that we were going on a road trip, I was glad to see it there. I had my camera out to take a photo of it to show the driver (because she couldn’t see it from the drivers seat), so I pushed the top layer of food a bit to show the underneath layer a bit more clearly. There were three portions of food in the bottom layer and three portions of food in the top). As I was standing there, I vaguely saw someone walk from the back of the truck towards the front. This reminds me of the big white van we take to go to camp where the back is filled with personal bags of belonging. Most of the time I don’t know the meaning of my dreams, but if I have a knowing, I do my best to write it. In this last dream I had a vague sense that I was only going to go halfway on the trip or we were halfway there, I’m not sure.. I heard thunder today! I love thunder, but I love Jesus more!!! Many blessings…