My faithful one -you are mine. Come and rest as we walk/talk today.
Lord, my mind is all in a jumble today because of the dream you gave me last night, and I’m not exactly sure about what it means.
Caroline, I am with you. Rest. Be anxious for nothing. You are mine.
My Dad, I really felt overwhelmed this morning, and I’m trying not to think about what I can hardly handle…the thing I’ve been carrying for so long. I wish it was already over because I’m so tired of carrying such a heavy weight and the responsibility of it. In the midst of this, you’re leading me into knowing who I am, who you’ve created me to be as you’re leading me deeper into my calling.
Yes my darling, this is true. I am leading you further into your calling because it’s the right time. I am near to you.
Father, you know what I dreamt last night so I don’t need to repeat it to you. I just don’t fully understand it yet. Not fully understanding it is causing me to be anxious, because in it, I was looking at my face, something I know. It represents who I am, which I really love who I am in you, and there were people who were going to come and take my face away, causing me to be faceless. In my dream as I was looking at my face, I said, “this is who I am,” so I know that I know who I am and what you’ve called me to do. The only time I ever watch my face is when I’m editing my recordings, so my guard is up, knowing that you’ve called me to record and speak about you in my life.
I love you Caroline. I am in you and will help you.
Father, lately I’ve really been doubting that I’m hearing you.
I know…I know you better than you do.
I’m glad Father. Please help me not to mess up. I feel like I’m constantly guessing, trying to discern what you’re saying to me in my walk with you. Yet because you’re solid in my life and in my heart, I’m not left feeling lost or drained, sometimes almost, but then I’ve taken my eyes off of you and begin to walk in my own strength. Help me to keep my eyes on you as you continue to lead me in the way I need to go.
I love you my darling, and I am leading you in the way you should go. Rest in me as we journey together -you are surely mine.
Reflection:
I’m writing this reflection a few days after I posted my conversation, and I have a bit more insight about what the Lord was showing me. A few more things had happened in my dream that I didn’t write about. In my dream, I also knew there was a girl laying frozen in some type of box, not a coffin, but something that froze her. There were also two evil people who were going to take her away, and I was so deeply sad as I asked them twice, because I couldn’t even finish asking the first time because I was so distraught. I asked where they were taking her, and their reply was an evil smile which reminds me of the Grinch. Then I saw afterwards two people’s shoes, which didn’t belong to the evil people, as they were standing on the bench I was sitting on. I saw both their shoes grow up, which made them taller. I’m not sure what this part means, but it could just show that I’m growing in the ability to confront this issue, or face it by making sure I still do a recording this week.
Now, knowing about my very busy week, I think the Lord was showing me that when I don’t continue to do what he’s asked me to do, in this case I think it refers to my recordings, then my heart begins to grow cold towards it, resulting in the enemy being able to steal me away from my love for what the Lord has asked me to do. Becoming faceless is another way to look at it. Without going into detail, the Lord also showed me that when I booked a day to sub this week, I had lost my balance and fell out of a window, falling down into shallow water. During my fall, I had time to take my glasses off, which also indicates that I wasn’t seeing clearly as I chose to do this, even though the sub day was Tuesday. Leaning into him as we walk…the Lord will show me.