My Dad, teach me what you want me to grow in. Teach me what it means to love you. Teach me what it means to walk in your love. I want to grow in a deeper understanding of what love is, knowing that You are love…so help me to know you more -bring me deeper into you. Father, I just heard the word, “sacrifice.” Even though I don’t deserve it, you still died for me so I didn’t need to in that way, but I still need to die to my own will that would lead me in separate ways from you. Help me to continually sacrifice my will so that my heart will stay right before you and remain teachable. How I feel right now is that this waiting time is taking longer than it needs to be because I’m taking too long in learning something you want me to learn. I don’t know if this is true. I feel like I’ve been giving you all that I can give, and yet more is still required. I know I’m not a slave so help me not to feel this way.
I love you my daughter…
Father, the enemy has treated me like a slave because that’s what he does in his hate for me. Help me not to direct these feelings to you like you’re the cause. Create in me a clean heart Father, and renew a right spirit within me.
Caroline, don’t loose hope. Remain steadfast in me and I will see you through.
Father, you’ve brought me to your life-giving table already. The outside of your house looked poor, or simple but well kept, ready to weather any storm. The inside felt so warm and inviting, and felt like home. I know your love for me, which is how the atmosphere felt like around the table, and I do rest in it. I sensed the conversation around the table was warm and I sensed an inviting laughter coming from you. So however the enemy tries to make me feel, help me to always remember what you’ve already shown me, truth that brings calm and comfort to my heart. Help me not to loose my peace but rather grow in perseverance, because I know that your steps are sure.
You have heard me well my sweet daughter. You are loved and you are mine.
Reflection:
As I was rewriting my conversation here, onto my iPad, I sensed from the Lord that the house, his house I saw in my dream a few nights ago represents my heart; simple but well kept, which represents that God is continually restoring my heart. Because God lives in my heart, I sensed such peace and love in it. He’s made a table where we sit, talk, and enjoy each other’s company. But the Lord saw something in my heart that I didn’t see, which was a fear that I’ve forgotten about, that in the future I would be pressured to change the way I spend time with the Lord. I’ve felt this pressure since the beginning when I first began setting aside time for him, and I guess that’s where it comes from…but Gods been showing me that I don’t need to fear this. God gave me a dream a few days ago that I was standing in a doorway, leaning onto the doorframe, watching a couple who were in each other’s arms. She was looking forward like she was watching a sunset or sunrise, and his face was snuggled up in her neck, leaning into the side of her face. It looked like she was standing and he was sitting. Then I also looked forward into the distance. I don’t fear this anymore.. I know that Jesus my husband will cause his purpose for me to be lived out as I continue to follow where he leads. Having said all this, I don’t want to become set in my ways, thinking my ways are best because I want to remain teachable and become better at what the Lord is already doing. I’m looking forward as we keep walking forward, because wherever the Lord leads is the exact place where we need to be!!