Father, I love you and I adore you -my heart is glad and is dancing in your presence.. In our long journey together, you’ve shown me over and over again, your faithful care for me, and I know this will continue as you lead me further into the calling you have for me.
I am Faithful my daughter and I am Love. This is who I am, and I love you with an everlasting love. You are Mine. I have great plans for you my daughter, come, follow me and I will make you a fisher of men. Trust me.
I trust you Jesus and I know that I’ll learn to be one of your spokesmen. I’m so greatly honoured that you’ve invited me. I’m not holding back Father, but with determination I’m going to climb the rest of the way up the steepest part of the cliff, straight to the top. This is the way you’ve chosen for me so this is the way I will go.
Come my darling, I know you can do this. I will lead the way. Trust me and don’t give up; I’m always here for you.
Thank-you Father.
Reflection:
The other night I had dreamt that I was running full speed ahead, jumping onto a cliff and climbing it with pure determination, until I got almost to the top where it got really steep. I hesitated and thought how much work it would be, and I also would be taking a risk of falling (failing). So I began to move over to my left, thinking it would be an easier way up. A few days have gone by since then and if the Lord would show me this same dream, I think this time I would keep going straight up. In the natural it means that I’m going to complete putting my sermon together, and if the Lord wants me to share it, then he’ll lead me to that. I’m reminded how vulnerable I’m being with everyone reading this, which is part of the cliff being so steep, and it’s simply okay! When the Lord showed me in a dream that I was embracing my brother Bill (William), the Lord was showing me that I’ve embraced his will in my life, wholeheartedly, not only in my mind but also deep in my heart. In a previous post I talked about what it means to marry Jesus, and it means to marry him and his will, his calling on my life which I want to do very much… I want to marry Jesus and dance with him like no-one’s watching. I am dancing with him like no-one’s watching, yet it’s in plain sight for everyone to see if they want -it’s actually such a deep pleasure to do because I’m doing it because I love him and I know he loves me. Thank-you Jesus for embracing all of who I am and all of who we are……. Yesterday I volunteered in church and as I was cleaning up paper plates and other garbage, putting them into a large garbage bag and people lining up as they took their kids out of the room reminded me of my dream. I had boots and jackets on that I had taken off because they made me feel out of place. I think the Lord is leading me into coming back, volunteering and working in my church. I had volunteered so much over the years but had taken a break. I do feel at home at my church and I love being there. I think this is another way I needed to be reconciled back to where God wants me to be.
I think the Lord was showing me the steps of our long journey together over the years. Someone who’s name means “messenger of God,” came and picked me up in her car and drove me to my sister Cathy’s house. I was a bit offended that she didn’t tell me where she was taking me. Here I needed to ask the Lord for forgiveness because I’ve picked up offence at the Lord a number of times for keeping me so much in the dark in our journey together. I know that learning to hear his voice in the way he’s required has really strengthened my endurance and resolve, my trust, my faith and my love for him, because walking by faith with each step has stretched it, causing it to grow, and has caused me to rely completely on him. Cathy means “pure.” In Cathy’s house, she was showing me something in her bathroom, a small wooden thing that organizes her kid’s schedule in some way. When I dream about a bathroom, it means that I’m releasing something heavy that my heart is carrying, or letting go of a lie that I’m believing so that I can come to God with a cleaner, lighter, and with a pure heart. In this pure place, Cathy showed me a movable cabinet that she had gotten someone to paint. It had beautiful brown colours, but only the top half had been painted professionally, the bottom half she was going to paint herself so that it matched the top. I saw behind the cabinet and saw that it had been built really sturdy and was built so it could hold a lot of weight -I saw how the top part was being supported and secure. Right underneath the top half which was meant to store and display, was an area that I can’t explain well, but it reminds me of two spots, shoe sized foot/shoe prints, areas to put things.
Another small part of my dream was that I was being carried in a wagon that was being pulled by someone who’s name means light, and she had a really nice rich brown coloured hair that was really full. God was bringing to light, showing me that I had put my desire to look younger above where it should be. So I’ve needed to repent and ask God’s forgiveness about that. The root of this is that I wanted to be accepted and loved, but to be truly accepted and loved for who we are, we don’t need to change our appearance for that -who we are comes from within. So my heart is in the right place about that now. This is another way the Lord is helping me rest because it’s less of a performance/appearance and is all about simply being myself:) My kids were at their cousins this weekend which has given me a bit more time to write. I’m looking forward to joining Jesus as we continue walking deeper in!!