Acts 26:17-18
“I will rescue you from your own people and from the Gentiles. I am sending you to them to open their eyes and turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan to God, so that they may receive forgiveness of sins and a place among those who are sanctified by faith in me.”
Conversation
Papa, I love You. Thank-You for Your forgiveness. Thank-You for Your grace. Thank-You for Your love and Your patience.
Come My daughter, you are Mine. I love you.
Papa, I’m so much more aware of Your nearness lately. My fear, in reverence, of You has grown because I’ve been sensing Your sternness with me. Even though it’s difficult, I’m so thankful for it and feel loved through it. Please come and take me to a higher level of belief and trust in You. I wish I could just climb out of any mistrust and unbelief, but I know it doesn’t work that way. I am Yours, not mine. I give You my heart again.
I love you my darling. Rest. I am drawing you near to Me. You are Mine.
Papa, help me not to forget what You’ve asked me to do. I’ve picked up “The Blessing Lifestyle” again, and I’ve been saying Psalm 23 almost every day. I have more peace in my heart as I’ve been sitting in silence to meditate on Your character.
Come My daughter, don’t lose hope. We will get you there. Never give up; it is not impossible.
Papa, I’ve been feeling like it is. Please forgive me when I resist, even when it’s only slight. Help me to keep resting in You even when I fail. Help me to run to You instead of anything else.
I will help you Caroline. You are Mine.
Reflection
Hello and welcome to today’s page in my journal! The Lord wakes me up most nights at certain times after He’s given me a dream, which I sometimes don’t know the meaning of but other times I do, and it’s such a great comfort to my heart. I absolutely love sharing what God is doing in my heart, hoping it’ll inspire you to spend time with God everyday and grow the most fulfilling relationship with Him. For the past while God has been taking me through a spiritual shower, over and over again; I believe that He’s preparing me for what’s coming up next. He’s purifying my heart first so that I’m clean before Him, and also so there’s nothing holding me back from following Him with my whole heart. It also clears the way to hear God better when there’s no mess in the way of where God is leading me to walk. I also record the times when God says something to me because even in that, there’s meaning; I don’t want to miss anything that God has for me and is saying to me.
This morning at 2:13 I woke up because I heard in my heart someone fiercely whisper, “mom!” Then I turned around underneath the covers, intending to get up right away but I fell asleep and woke up at 2:17. Then I got up right away. I’m thinking it has something to do about this weekend.
2:44 “Not by power not by might. By the Spirit of the living, Spirit of the Living God!”
Papa
My darling, come.
Papa help me!
My daughter, rise. I have called you blessed.
(Blessed lifestyle?) I’ve been meaning to bake cookies and bring them to my neighbours. I’ll bake tomorrow and bring them there tomorrow.
Oh Papa I love you.
I love you my darling
When Lucas was a baby I had taken him along to one of the “Looking Beyond the Mirror” recordings and on the way back home he wouldn’t stop crying. He was in the baby seat behind me as I was driving and I reached out my hand and put it by his face to comfort him. And when I did that, he began resting his face on my hand and began calming down. But when he rested his face on my hand, I quickly took it away to give him space, and he immediately began crying again and wouldn’t be comforted even when I put my hand there again. The reason I gave him space is because I always needed to give my husband space when we were in public, so it was just a quick reaction to give Lucas space, not knowing if my hand would be in the way. The knowing deep in my heart that Jesus really does want to be with me has been a difficult thing for me to believe. I’m convinced of this more now than ever before, and I’m hoping and praying that my heart is fully convinced of this. What I think in my mind and what I know in my heart are two different things. I never knew what the Holy Spirit goes through, the deep work of the Holy Spirit and the patience He needs when He deals with people. I’m aware of God’s love/Jesus’ love much more now than before.
Today I baked cookies and brought them to two of my neighbours. The lady beside me hardly ever comes out of her house and I don’t even know what she looks like. The lady beside her I’ve chatted with a few times as she walks her dog. Today neither of them answered the door so I left the cookies on their doorstep. I had forgotten to invite a neighbor over, and I’ve been sensing today that that was what the dream meant that I hadn’t brought food to share. This coming week on Wednesday I’m going to invite my neighbour across the street who has three kids, over for coffee and dessert.
In the morning I took a nap and had a picture of something that reminds me of the a four-way intersection, and it was green. When I went to my moms Condo I noticed on the carpet in front of every door there was the same symbol that I saw in my dream, except in my dream it was green. I’m hoping I’ll be awake enough to go to Shopgym tomorrow for 6:00. On Wednesday for our workout the weight I had was 135lbs for Deadlifts. We did 5 (5 rounds) deadlifts and 5 push presses from a sitting position. Love and blessings…
Feb 2: 5:19: Not by power not by might. But by the Spirit of the living, Spirit of the living God.”I had woken up and fallen back asleep. I had gone to bed very late and I didn’t go to Shopgym. I regretted it so much afterwards.
Feb 3:2:22 You prepare me, for darkened times. You’ll sustain what You have started. You’ll teach me to abide.
4:57 Oh I need you to see, that you are the reason.
6:46 I’d climb every mountain, swim every ocean. Just to be with you, and fix what I’ve broken. Oh I need you to see, that you are the reason.
7:37 (woke up)
Feb 4th: 7:50: When I got home on Saturday I began to realize I should have stayed and shut the lights off, and I was filled with remorse. Before going back to bed I was kneeling by my bed, praying in the spirit and calling out to God. I remembered that the conference wasn’t over yet and sensed the Lord saying that it’s not too late.
11:12 (or 11:11) I was looking out of the front window (sensing Lucas or both kids were with me) and I saw a cat walking towards the Pine tree in the front yard, and it noticed some little chicks walking close it. So when it registered that they were chicks (and the chicks saw it was a cat and immediately began running away from it), it quickly leaped to catch one and I quickly looked away because I didn’t want to see that. I don’t know and didn’t see that the cat got the chick, but I assumed that it had. Then the scene changed: there were a small bunch of kittens inside the house on a counter in front of me. I noticed that an animal had gotten one of them and saw that the head was nearly off of its body; it had almost been bitten off. I saw that the spine was broken by the neck so the head kind of just plopped on the counter, attached by the skin. I saw the white tip of spine by the head and that the spine on the back could be put back into the hollow part of the spine by the head. I saw someone’s hands gently begin to put the spine together by holding the head and the torso in their hands; the kitten was still alive. Then I didn’t want to look because I thought it was too late for the kitten, that there wasn’t hope for it. Then I looked to my right at a bunch of kittens on the counter. I knew that an enemy had been among them and thought it had eaten some of them, and that the kittens there were the ones that were left. I saw the front part of a face of a kitten, lying among them and I had to look away. (When I was a kid we had forgotten to bring the newborn kittens inside the porch for night and when I got up the next morning, I saw that a dog had bitten off the heads of all the kittens. It was traumatizing for me.)
4:16? Family
“We’ll make a palace, if this apartment the best thing of all, it’s only just started and I know, you’re home I’m home. “
I went back to bed around 7:00 and had a dream: I had just walked inside my small apartment , standing in the doorway of my room. Then I saw someone standing at the door. The door had a window from waist up so I could see the person. But because he was so tall and big (ripped), I could only see his torso and arms and couldn’t see his face. Lucas was just about to open the door when I told him not to open it because I didn’t know the person because I couldn’t see his face to know who he was. I don’t know if he had a shirt on or if his shirt was thin enough that I could see all his muscles and how ripped he was:) Then I told him to lock the door. Then I saw that my window was totally open (curtains were open) and it was night out. I was almost paralyzed and couldn’t move, thinking that he was looking inside and I only had my pj’s on. I had also been peeking at the door through the small opening of my door (I was holding it almost shut). Then the scene changed where I was standing with the person inside my apartment, talking with him. He was standing on my left hand side and kind of in front of me. Lucas could have been with us I’m not sure. I saw that the person was Dwayne Johnson! 🙂 I had the feeling and knowing that of course I could trust him!!!
Then a small scene where I was looking in my closet, looking for pants to put on. I saw a pair I hadn’t worn in awhile that were folded on the shelf. I took them down and saw they were a light blue that had some kind of spots on them, reminding me of army pants. I don’t have light blue army pants. They also seems like they were lose fitting so I’m going to wear loose fitting jeans that I haven’t worn (if ever) for a long time. They were at the bottom of my folded jeans pile. Blessings…