Following my Coach

My Father, I dreamt last night that a lady was clothed in a beautiful deep red gown. I remembered this as I got down on my knees to pray this morning. I believe it represents the passionate journey we’ve been on, all together. A passionate journey where you’ve been working deeply in my heart, bringing me and leading me up to the place where you want me to be. A journey into knowing my purpose, with each step preparing me for the next as you led us deeper into knowing who you are (which is knowing what love is), and into knowing who I am. Thank you for this great transformation in my heart and in my life. 

You’re welcome my faithful daughter. You’ve come so very far Caroline, but we still have so much further to go. Are you still with me? 

Oh Dad, yes, with all of who I truly am. You are faithful and so will I be for you and for those around me, including myself. 

Then come my darling, it’s time to go.

Father, I can’t close doors and I can’t open them. I can’t put doors where I wish they’d be because that’s your job -you are my Good Shepherd. My prayer is that you’ll continue to lead me in the way I should go and help me have the courage to walk through each one as they open for me. I know that I’d love to run through one door in particular, one that you’ve given to me personally, from your heart to mine. 

My daughter, you are right, I’ve placed this door in front of you, and we’ll go through it together. I love you completely and I will always help you. You are mine. 

Reflection:

Last night I woke up laughing with such a joy in my heart! What caused me to laugh was that someone was helping me turn something off because I had been washing orange carrots and was done. I had already put the large carrots in the bag (maybe the completed recordings) and there was one other larger one that caught my attention but I had put it with the smaller ones I wasn’t planning on keeping (I need to do one more recording?). I saw the persons hand flip the switch up, which shut off whatever it was that needed to be shut off, and then he skipped the switch just next to it (which was the next one I thought needed to be switched off) and flipped the one right next to that one instead. It was so funny because when he flipped that switch, like flipping on the light, he turned on the shower which completely drenched him, and he was standing there in shock, and in my dream I thought it was so funny that I laughed and laughed, and I awoke laughing…it was so nice!! 

This next dream was like I was going back in time, and had a christmas feel to it, to see what had happened. I was at what reminds me of a museum. I was standing behind someone who was telling me about a person, like how important Santa is and how what an honour it would be to have a ride on his sleigh at Christmas. Then I had a knowing that I was about to meet this important person, and that this person was the wife of someone important like Santa. I was completely amazed when I saw her; she was wearing a beautiful deep red gown. The gown had folds in the front and went down to the floor and was fitted but also a flowy dress. She moved with such grace and dignity, like one who knows who she is in Christ -having full confidence. I didn’t see her face but then I moved along to see other very large rooms, one had a long table in it and there were people coming and going as they visited and read about what she had accomplished. When I think about this, I’m thinking, how could this represent me? I know that in my journey with the Lord, I’ve learned how to follow the Lord, my coach, which I’m so amazed by, through the Holy Spirit. But I don’t think of myself the way my dream portrayed this lady to be. Maybe I’ve accomplished more than I think I have because of where this could lead in the future? 

Yesterday I was running on the treadmill and I sensed the Lord saying to me to watch one of my own recordings. I’m a bit ashamed about how I make myself vulnerable, but I’ve learned that it could mean more to my audience than I thought. So I watched my last recording and I saw it with new eyes. I know I say meaningful things as I’m being led by the Holy Spirit, but I also know that there’s so much room for improvement. I’m following what I sense my coach telling me as I put more scripture in..Jesus being the greatest coach. I know when things have been hard through silence, it makes room for the Holy Spirit to speak to me and it sharpened my spiritual ears to hear and grow to be more sensitive to him. And I’m so deeply thankful to have the opportunity to only depend on him for comfort during those times. My whole life I’ve wondered what real faith was, besides having the faith to believe about my salvation. Now I know what being led by the Holy Spirit is all about and what it means to die to myself. On the mountain of God Abraham had faith and gave up his son…by faith I’ve given up my life for Him and on this mountain God has provided another way for me.. he’s my provider of a much richer life. His ways are so incredibly engaging that I wouldn’t go any other way,  and I would choose the difficult way again if that’s what it takes. I’ve felt a lot of stress and because of that, I’ve had to get up and leave the room while my family, including my kids, continued watching something; I’ve not been able to handle a lot. Lately we’ve been watching The Mandalorian and Boba Fett, which I enjoy, and Encanto!