Psalm 85:7
“Show us your unfailing love, O Lord, and grant us your salvation.”
Conversation
Daddy, thank-you for your faithfulness. Thank-you that you enable us to follow you and that we can’t follow you in our own strength; I’ve seen this over and over again in our journey together. I’m so thankful for it because it makes me dependant on you and it makes me run after you. I’m running after you Daddy, Jesus, so I can know you more and be as close to you as I possibly can.
Come my daughter, you are welcome to be close to me, for I delight in you. Come my faithful one whom I have blessed.
Daddy, I cling to you and your love for me. I need your love like I need water. I need your love like I need the air I breathe. Please come and overwhelm me with your love. Fill me so I’m filled with you. Redeem me Daddy so I am redeemed.
Come my daughter, for I have redeemed you. Come and take your seat beside me, for you have done well.
Daddy, help me finish this race with more energy than when I began. I know there’s more for me to do before I actually sit down. Lead me for when it’s time to sit.
I love you Miss Caroline -you are Mine.
Reflection
Happy Friday everyone!!! Welcome to today’s page in my journal. The Lord wakes me up most nights at certain times, which I sometimes don’t know the meaning of but other times I do, and it’s such a great comfort to my heart.. Last night God woke me up at 3:16 with these lyrics singing in my heart, “Oh come on my soul, oh don’t you get shy on me, lift up your song, cause you’ve got a lion inside of those lungs, so get up and praise the Lord.” “For God so loved, the world that he gave us his one and only Son to save us…” John 3:16 says, “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” I believe, deep in my heart, in Jesus completely, and I’m resting in his love for me.. and I believe deep in my heart that God has called me to speak, and I want to speak for him. I believe without a shadow of doubt that God has sent Jesus his son to save me, and he truly has. When my heart was asleep I didn’t believe there could be anyone in this world like Jesus; God proved me wrong and I’m more thankful than words can say…. I owe God my life, and I give it to him again today. I’m ready to be his disciple on a higher level; ready to take the next step.
When I came back from the box I took a nap and woke up at 7:44 because I had heard in my mind a slight deep growl and then a short deep dog’s bark. I’m not sure yet what this represents. Then I sept again and woke up at 9:38, I know I know I feel guilty about sleeping so long:( When I’m tired like I was this morning, I just couldn’t get up:( God gave me a few dreams: In this first one I vaguely saw a lady on my right who told me that it had been extremely difficult to get passed the reef. She did it with another person who was in the canoe/boat with her.. My journey with Jesus has been like trying to get passed the reef like in the movie Moana. It’s like my whole journey with Jesus has been trying to get passed it. I think the reef represents unbelief, and it’s this unbelief that’s been resisting me to be able to get passed it in order to believe. God has been working in my heart, restoring my belief about my value, who God/Jesus is and their love for me, and leading me to become who God has created me to be, so I can be who I really am. Now that I believe, the unbelief isn’t there anymore to hold me back -the reef is gone! I hope! And I definitely could not get passed the reef without Jesus, whom I also owe my life and give to him.. I believe my heart has been restored, and now I need to grow in who God has made me to be -a pastor!! (oh my..) Someone who courageously follows him wherever he leads. I need to be the one who always wants to be picked to do things, not the one who cowers back; I think that when I’m filled with God’s presence then I’ll have the courage to do anything he asks me to do, and this is what I’m praying will happen every day of my life.
In this dream I started off standing on a bar that was shaped like a U, but then I sat down on it and was flying through the air, always tying to get higher. Someone else was also flying on a bar like that (what this person was on was vague to me, but I had a knowing that there was another person also trying to fly higher, and it seemed like they were always around where I was, being my support). I kept on going down close to the ground and then with determination I’d get just higher than the green tree tops; I saw the green leaves of the trees as I’d fly over and passed them.
Then in this next dream I was standing with Lucas in a building that had several big kiddie pools. I saw vaguely that there was something like string lights hanging over the pools and there was something like a white mist covering the whole area so that I could see the pools dimly. I didn’t see any darkness; everything was light/white, and I couldn’t see the ending of the pools because of the white mist over all the water. Then I asked Lucas if he wanted to go into the pool and he calmly said yes. Then we were standing in one of the pools and there was a man standing close to us with his back turned to us. I had kicked off my shorts and I saw them floating on the water and it wrapped around the mans legs. (They looked more like a man’s swimming trunks) I watched him move it with his leg to get unstuck, and I vaguely remember that I took them and put them to the side.
In this next dream I saw Jesus my husband behind someone who was sitting on a chair, facing me. I saw him move his bare arm almost like a wave except only once, not back and forth like a wave. Then I saw him move his face close to her head; he was behind her.
Changing the subject, looking back I’m more than disappointed that I didn’t take the opportunity to lead the Announcements. Now as I’m typing this word, I made the connection.. Why, why, why didn’t I do it! Okay, I’m calming myself.. breathe, breathe.. breathe.. We were all wearing green too! I’m remembering the dream where I calmly told Bella to close the window so that no more dirty water could come in, and I’m internalizing what has just been made known to me. Another dream awhile back, maybe last year was that a girl was biking (biking!! okay it’s time to breathe again.. this time I know in Advance so I’ll make sure I do it..), and everything had turned green; I saw many many green trees as this person was biking along a neighbourhood street. This person who I know, is normally rebellious, but as I was watching her, I saw her enjoy the green scenery as she was biking along a pleasant neighbourhood street. I love making connections:)
This morning at the box I did my sumo deadlifts. I asked the coach to take a picture/video, and when I had put down the bar she commented on how serious I looked, so that made me laugh, and I made sure to smile at the end:). For our workout we did 3 rounds for time of: 400m run, 21 Kettlebell Swings, 12 Pull-ups/Ring-Rows (I did Ring Rows). Today I wrote down on paper the chores that needed to be done today, and my kids really like seeing it on paper and have the ability to check off the ones they did. Many Pleasant Blessing…