Paid In Full!

Exodus 33:17

“And the Lord said to Moses, ‘I will do the very thing you have asked, because I am pleased with you and I know you by name.’ “

My Father, we’ve come such a long way.

Yes My darling we have. Come, all is well with you, you are mine. Carolyn, I have a word for you today.

Okay Lord. My heart is on cloud 9, though I’m changing it to 7. I love that you delight in me Lord. Father, what word do you have for me? I hear a song in my heart, “Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.”

My daughter, it’s time to rise up. I have spoken.

Okay Lord, I can’t lead myself up, so I’m waiting to follow you; I will rise up when you lead me to rise up. If it means to rise up from the plexiglass box, then please come and help me break free from it. Please let that be today!! 

I love you Carolyn. Remember that I am near to you. 

Reflection:

Last night I dreamt that S asked me for the money I owed her, and I apologized as I zipped open a separate compartment on the side of my brown wallet that I currently have. Inside my wallet I saw several folded together bills, and I took one of the folded together bills which was a total of $50, and gave it to her. She counted it and said it was only $40, so I apologized and began taking another $10 from my wallet to give to her. Then as I was looking down I saw a hand and gave the hand a ten dollar bill and I saw two five dollar bills in the hand which I took, and then the transaction was done.  I wondered afterward why the bills that were folded together hadn’t equaled to $50, because in my dream I knew that I owed her $50 and had put it together beforehand to give to her when I saw her next; I wondered why the $10 wasn’t there. The number five represents change; two areas in my life will change. The number ten represents starting over, or a new beginning. 50 represents a change that I can’t do anything about, out of my hands, and could also represent that there has been conflict or difficulty in it. This $50 has been a long and difficult road, but now I’ve paid for it and it’s done. 

Then the scene change where I was sitting on the foot of my Queen sized, made up bed facing the beige wardrobe that was right there, about a foot away. The wardrobe had about four doors, so it was a bit long. Hanging on the doors were three or four round wooden knitting or crocheting rings, and each of them had a different pattern in the inside of the ring, which had the remaining yarn hanging down from the rings. The purpose of these rings was so that any of our family members could continue making the pattern with the remaining yarn that was hanging from them, and that as we worked we’d learn the pattern. I saw that the one beside the one that was right in front of me was brown, and the yarn was frayed off right underneath the ring so no one could continue on that one. I sensed my kids were close to me on the bed. 

Yesterday I dreamt that I was running full speed ahead towards two sides of hanging vines with beautiful green leaves hanging right beside each other. There were so many vines with leaves that it was dark inside with no room to breathe. As I came closer I quickly turned to the left to run beside it. It was bright and sunny outside. Yesterday I went to see my mentor, and one of the things we talked about was my speaking presentation. Later on that day as I was thinking about my dream I knew what it represented; I was feeling a lot of pressure to cross all the t’s in my presentation and so I was also going to do the alter call at the end. My mentor said that because I’m only talking about my personal journey and because it wasn’t a sermon, she said she wouldn’t do an alter call. In my dream I remember thinking as I was running towards the greenery that I wouldn’t have room to breathe if I ran into these vines. In waking life I was feeling claustrophobic about it needing to sound like a sermon with an alter call at the end, so because this was my first time talking about my story I needed to keep it simple. I think it went well! I mixed up where I was planning to read the second Bible verse but it worked out.

This morning I saw on my weather app a link, “news” about the day Niagara Falls completely stopped (1848). I thought that was so interesting because the photo of it reminds me of a recent dream I had about seeing a huge body of water that was abruptly cut of; it was like the whole lake was solid and it had been broken off. But in my dream I had been taken along the length of it, like it was a journey, and this is also what had stopped. One of the things I believe the dream represents is that in my heart I’m trusting so much, there is so much weight in my trust that if this huge body of water should fall, I would be completely crushed. God told me a long time ago that I shouldn’t let go of what he was doing in my life, and I will never let go; I also know deep in my heart that I have no reason to let go, and that my trust is complete…. I hope in this long journey that I have been found trustworthy.. Today my kiddos and I are going cross country skiing if there’s still snow on the hills. When I was about Bella’s age I got a pair of cross country skis for Christmas and I really had fun with that; I’ve never gone down hill skiing though. Last Tuesday was garbage day and I had completely forgotten to bring out the garbage, but I brought it out anyway by 8:30. I hoped I wasn’t too late but later that morning I knew it was too late. I’m mentioning this because in my dream a few days ago I dreamt that my neighbour had forgotten to bring out their garbage in time so it was left between our properties. So I had asked if I could tie up their garbage bag, which then I did. Also every time I rinse out and wash our popcorn bowls, it reminds me of my dream where someone was rinsing out a white toilet bowl which also became a large white-in-the-inside bowl, which our popcorn bowls are. Alright, I hope you all will have a wonderful rest of the week! Blessings!!!