“I am Yahweh, your mighty God! I grip your right hand and won’t let you go! I whisper to you: ‘Don’t be afraid; I am here to help you!'” – Isaiah 41:13,TPT
Conversation
Papa, I know You are near. I love You so much.
I am near to you My daughter; you are Mine.
Papa I praise and worship You, and I’m sitting at Your feet, listening to Your voice. Open my eyes to se how You see. Change my heart to be more like Yours. Papa, I’m quiet before You; do You have a word for me? I’m sensing the word “speak.”
Yes My daughter, the time is near.
Papa, I submit my all to You. My heart is open before You. The book of my life is open to You. I am at Your mercy. You have my heart in Your hands. Show me the way to go. Show me, lead me, do Your work in my heart so that I can follow You and not fail; I don’t want to walk another unnecessary loop. My heart is in anguish about that. Please help me Papa! Please help me Holy Spirit! Please help me Jesus!
I love you My faithful one. Rest. I will draw you near.
Papa, is it possible to have victory this time?
Yes My daughter, this is possible. Where is your heart?
In Your hands Papa!
Yes it is, and it will stay there, right next to My heart. I will guide you and keep you near. You are Mine and I love you.
Reflection
Hello and welcome to today’s page in my journal! The Lord wakes me up most nights at certain times after He’s given me a dream, which I sometimes don’t know the meaning of but other times I do, and it’s such a great comfort to my heart. I absolutely love sharing what God is doing in my heart, hoping it’ll inspire you to spend time with God everyday and grow the most fulfilling relationship with Him. For the past while God has been taking me through a spiritual shower. I believe He’s preparing me for what’s coming up next. He’s purifying my heart so that my heart is clean before Him. It also clears the way for me to hear Holy Spirit better when there’s no mess in the way. I record the times when God says something to me because even in that, there’s meaning. Blessings.
3:24 “Oh no, you never let go, through the calm and through the storm. Oh no, you never let go, In every high and every low. Oh no, you never let go, Lord you never let go of me.” Matt Redman’s “You Never Let Go.”
5:51 never let go (These words more more impressed on my heart this time, instructions for me to not let go of Jesus.) (I had also woken up at 4:00) I really don’t want to let go of Jesus!!! I hope my heart is ready this time!!
I dreamt that there was a wedding that was soon going to take place, and I was part of it. Some people were arriving and I was walking among them. Then I had a feeling like I knew it was time, the wedding was going to start and it was time to get ready, so I began going up to where I needed to get ready. Then I was by my room area when I saw a small boy come out of the place (on the right) right next to mine, and thinking he had gone to the bathroom there even though it wasn’t his place (I was thinking there wasn’t a bathroom there so I wondered where there he had gone), I asked him to show me where it was that he went to the bathroom. I also asked if he went poop and he said yes. Then he showed me and I saw it looked like a place that cats use, with sand. I saw a few toys in it like it was a sand box. Then I said something to him that I don’t remember, and I started to put the lid back on when I noticed a face formation and I kept on trying to put the lid over it but it wouldn’t work. Then I saw that it was more than just a face, but a whole body now like it was wrapped in a hammock, but it wasn’t fully conscious yet. Then I was standing in front of that place (it was someones room) and I had three little boys in my arms that the big man was going to try to get and kill. So I began running with them in my arms, trying to get a head start. I think the baby boys came from that place too, where the man was laying (which started out as a cat litter box). Cat/kitten represents being protective of something. In waking life I’m so tired of always needing to protect myself.
Then I had brought them to a safe place, my family place where we were getting ready and it was also our living place. I put them down there, telling them that they’re safe there.
I also had a thought somewhere in my dream that protecting these boys could take the place of the wedding. NOOOOO!!! I’m thinking that these boys are something I need to get rid of, like they represent fear or worry (though I think the cat, comparing myself to others, is dead) or intimidation.
Then I saw Jesus my husband, and I wanted to tell him too, that there was a bad man in the building, and about the three boys that I needed to protect. I had already told one of the leaders so someone asked me if I needed to tell everyone, and I said yes, all the leaders. So I walked to him and told him. But he didn’t seem worried about it. There was a peace and calm around him, and he kept looking at me with love. He’s so nice!!
I had given two of the babies/toddlers, to two other people to protect them, and I was carrying the smallest baby. One of the toddlers seemed to have a bigger forehead and seemed to be in a daze.
Then I was in a garage and I saw many cars (two short rows, under 10 I think) parked there. I had the youngest baby in my arms (who looked like a normal baby) and I comforted him when he started to fuss. I saw the bad man was at the big entrance to the garage and I hid behind one of the cars. Just a moment before, I saw the other person who had one of the baby’s, quickly throw the baby (like the baby was a bowling ball) quickly to the far wall where there was a bit of a shelter.) Then the enemy saw me and began running towards me, and when he got closer, he threw something like a spear at my direction and right before it was going to hit me, I began screaming at the top of my lungs for help.
A scene where I was by a ledge and I needed to get down to the water. I was in the middle somewhere and I thought I’d walk over to the far wall and lower myself down from there. But when I got there I looked over the edge and saw it went down further than I thought and so I began getting afraid and backed away from the edge. Then I began walking all the way around which was a more gradual decent to the water. In waking life I’m thinking, why don’t I just jump in anyway? I want my sinful flesh to be killed anyway! I’m really worried that I’m not going to make it again.
A scene where I had my regular purse (not my actual brown one) and then I had my old red purse in my hand. I needed to get to a place so I put my old red purse strap around my neck and my right arm was through it so it hung securely for when I’d walk. Then I put my regular purse (red too) around my neck and put my left arm through it so it hung down the other side securely. Then I had one piece of black luggage (that had a handle and wheels) that I was pulling, and I began to walk. Anyway, my right eyelid is still swollen. Yesterday while cutting green beans I gave myself a deep cut, gouging a piece from my left pointer finger. Thanks for listening, love you all… blessings… ❤️🔥