“We love because He first loved us. – 1 John 4:19
Conversation
Papa, I love You. I worship You with all that I am. Thank-You for Your mercy for my life. I’m alive in my heart only because of Your mercy and unfailing love. Because of this I can say that I’m here; You’ve called my name and I’m here, ready to do Your will.
I love you My dear one.
Papa, I hear the word, “promise.” The sense I have about that is about You fulfilling Your promise. Papa, I trust You completely. What it reminds me of is the word, consolation (from the word constellation in my dream two nights ago). I also hear, “don’t give up.” I feel like I’m in something new like I’ve taken a big step. Help me grow and learn in this new step; I know it’ll prepare me for the next. Help me Papa!
I love you Caroline. I will help you -I am near.
Reflection
Hello and welcome to today’s page in my journal! The Lord wakes me up most nights at certain times after He’s given me a dream, which I sometimes don’t know the meaning of but other times I do, and it’s such a great comfort to my heart. I absolutely love sharing what God is doing in my heart, hoping it’ll inspire you to spend time with God everyday and grow the most fulfilling relationship with Him. For the past while God has been taking me through a spiritual shower. I believe He’s preparing me for what’s coming up next. He’s purifying my heart so that my heart is clean before Him. It also clears the way for me to hear Holy Spirit better when there’s no mess in the way. I record the times when God says something to me because even in that, there’s meaning. Blessings.
March 14: 4:34 “…I’ll praise when I’m outnumbered, praise when surrounded, cause praise is the water my enemies drown in. As long as I’m breathing, I’ve got a reason to Praise the Lord, oh my soul. Praise the Lord, oh my soul!”
5:23 “I won’t be quiet my God is alive, how can I keep it inside..”
I took a nap in the morning and woke up at 12:08, and I heard these words as I woke up, “I dreamt there was a transition.” I also feel like there’s been a transition in my heart! My heart was so full to pray, and I really wanted to. I also thought that that was what the Lord was referring to earlier in my conversation with Him. I wanted to open up in prayer this time and had planned to pray for someone (other than the person I volunteered to pray for), but when someone else prayed first, it threw me off and I thought I should just go along with the flow, so I only prayed for the person I had volunteered to pray for. I had so much joy to pray again.. I was also thinking that praying again would help break some kind of intimidation, and that it was an important thing for me to do in God’s perspective. These are just my thoughts; I don’t really know for sure if how I feel about this is actually how it is.
I had a dream while taking a nap (awoke at 12:08) In my dream I was with Karyn and two other people in what felt like the living room of someone’s house. I was standing close to Karyn (facing her) who was saying something to a woman who was around a corner to my right, so at first I didn’t see the woman. Karyn was telling her that her husband M had said something to her (using the actual name) about something so amazing about something she (the woman) had done. And then I looked around the corner and saw that the woman (who I vaguely saw had longer brown hair) had both her hands covering her face. From the sides of her face that weren’t covered up I saw that she was trying to hold back a deep sob because of how much it meant to her, to hear Karyn’s words. I have a feeling like she was deeply affirmed by her husband through that. As Karyn turned to face me, she did one of those, “mmm” sounds with an understanding expression on her face because of the woman’s deep emotion. Then I took Karyn’s hand, or then we took each other’s hand and began walking towards the other person in the room who I didn’t see. I think this has something to do with me praying again last night, and that I am so much more free than I used to be. It was a big thing for me to pray again, something I wouldn’t have been able to do up until yesterday. But my heart was so full that I could hardly wait to pray again!!! My heart was in my prayer…
My eye is feeling better! I bought polisporn eye drops the other day. Talking about my eyes, I need to share something that I feel sometimes. When I took the Wellness Wednesday classes, it was week 3’s spiritual health challenge where we needed to go to the mirror and say to ourselves, “I am Gods beloved. He delights in me.” When I looked into my eyes in the mirror as I was declaring that, I could feel a resistance in my eyes and I needed to fight my eyes to keep looking into them. I needed to be very determined to keep my eyes from shifting away. Yesterday as I was watching the leader as he was asking people who would like to commit their life to Christ and as he was talking and praying, I felt the same thing in my eyes and had to fight my eyes to keep them from looking beside rather than on. Today in my prayer time I declared the same thing as I looked into the mirror, and I think I only felt it slightly. So I’m wondering if this is unbelief (or slight unbelief) that I am God’s beloved and He delights in me? And if there’s an unbelief about that, maybe it affects how I see others in their need of God? I know that I’m a lot more free than I used to be, so I’m going to declare scripture (John 1:12, Romans 5:1, Romans 8:35 -from my notes from Wellness Wednesdays) over me everyday.
I won’t be going to CrossFit tomorrow; I’m sensing it’s okay but to run later instead; The kind of superpower I’d love to have is the ability to see through miles to see what people are doing.. Another one is the ability to remember names after hearing them once! I’m going to be on zoom again tonight of course! A few dreams I forgot about (from about a week or so ago) are: a quick picture of me hanging onto a white cupboard door handle that was closed (and I was slowly letting myself down onto the floor. In another one I saw that it was raining outside (shower). Goodnight.. Many blessings…