“…You know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” James 1:3,4
Conversation
Papa, thankYou for Your gift of life. I worship You.
I love You my daughter. You are Mine.
Papa, do You have a word for me today?
“Enjoy”
Papa I pray that You would help me enjoy Your presence.
Come My daughter and rest. My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made Perfect in weakness.
I lack nothing
Reflection
Hello and welcome to my journal. Life in the valley can be very difficult, but we need to remember that God is always faithful. Right now I’m in a valley, being tested and pruned so that in God’s time I’ll be ready to walk out of this valley, Victorious. What I’ve been doing as I’m waiting is spending time with God and keeping on doing what He’s already asked me to do. I’m clinging onto hope because God is my firm foundation. God is faithful and I know that He will never let me down, and I’m going to stay faithful to Him. He has shown me His faithfulness all the time and I know His love through that. God gives me dreams and wakes me up at certain times. As you read my journal my hope is that even though I’m in a valley in my life, I hope you will be inspired to always keep your heart open to God no matter what’s going on in your life, because God is a God of Love and He always has a Good plan for our life. He knows how to lead us; we just need to trust Him and follow Him! Very often God draws my heart to Him through songs and intimacy with Him in dreams, because as part of the bride of Christ, Jesus is my husband. My love for God/Jesus keeps on growing as I continue to pursue Him. During the night God wakes me up at certain times with either a word from Him and/or a dream. So here’s my journal entry for today.
12:27 I had a picture of intimacy and resting with Jesus.
2: In my dream or vision I sensed that I have no water (no cooking water)
God has led me on a journey that has brought me close to His heart and the heart of Jesus. The way God did it was through the Holy Spirit, tearing down perfectionism, false humility, a performance mindset, and self hatred. God brought me into a time of testing of obedience. During the last year this has made me look like a crazy person, and maybe I am crazy, crazy in love with God; crazy in love with Jesus. Years ago God gave me a word, “Deep roots that are being grown is a deep friendship being built.” This phrase sums up this long journey I’ve been on as I’ve learned to follow Jesus. In this journey God told me to never let go of Jesus, and I will never let go of Him, no matter how difficult it gets. God is my Rock, my Firm Foundation and I trust Him and love Him with all my heart. I have learned what love is by learning what it means to trust, knowing that Jesus will always catch me when I fall. He has been pursuing my heart relentlessly, patiently waiting, always encouraging me to get back up. With every step my heart has been releasing resistance little by little, trusting Him more and more. Now I can say that I do trust Jesus and I do have deep faith in Him. I had a dream not too long ago; it was a dream that someone had been ice fishing and had caught some fish. My heart was ice, not able to feel, but God has been melting my heart as I’ve seen evidence of His love. I trust God and I love Him because of it. I have faith in what I see and I give my life to Him. God has brought me out of bondage of living for myself. I embrace my God given identity as His daughter, and I embrace the calling He’s placed on my life, and that is to preach the gospel, the love of Christ wherever He leads me. I love God and the calling He’s placed on my life and I embrace it. These two run parallel with each other; my love and faith in God for the calling He’s placed on my life and my love and faith in Jesus as I opened up my heart to Him, to follow and walk with Him, always ready to talk and pray with people. To embrace one is to embrace the other; the two go hand in hand… 🤝 I baked chocolate cupcakes for home group tonight.
11:28 I momentarily fell asleep and dreamt that someone was telling someone to come, motioning with their fingers (pointer and middle). I’m going for coffee with one of my friends and also my sister, then in the evening my kids dad and I will be going to my brothers house while my kids are at youth; full day!! Blessings…
March 14: 5:57 “I’d climb every mountain. Swim every ocean. Just to be with you, and fix what I’ve broken. Oh I need you to see, that you are the reason.”
6:02 “Back in the saddle” (I was awake when this phrase came to mind)
I momentarily fell asleep while listening to worship music and I had a quick dream where there were two birds fighting over something on a branch in a tree. Then the thing they were fighting over began falling, and I saw it was a newspaper. I think the newspaper was shaped like a purse. It was falling right in front of me and I had a feeling about that, about it being in front of me. I’m wondering if this has to do with my two coffee dates today?
9:00 “I’m so blessed I’m so blessed got this heartbeat in my chest. Though it doesn’t matter about the rest, I’ve got You Lord I’m so blessed.”
9:04 “God is fighting for me, God is on my side. I will not be shaken, I will not be moved, Jesus You are near. I will live I will not die, the resurrection power of Jesus Christ living in me, and I am healed in Jesus name!!!!”🙏🏼
March 15 1:16 “The other ice I can leave.”
1:37 “The heart of worship, it’s all about You, it’s all about You Jesus.”
1:44 My God will supply all your needs.”
3:39 “Fortified” (I’m not sure if I heard this word at 3:39, though I did hear this word and I did see 3:39) It reminds me of the Bible study on Thursday nights where it talked about the city of Jericho having strong walls around it.
“Rock bottom, see what God can do” (Lyrics)
“Rock bottom, see what God can do.”
4:23 “I sought the Lord and He heard, and He answered, I sought the Lord and He heard and He answered. That’s why I trust Him. That’s why I trust Him. I trust in God, my Saviour the One, who will never fail. He will never fail.”
5:06 While praying in my prayer language I had a vision of a round table with a white tablecloth; there was nothing on the table. I vaguely sensed a white rug underneath.
5:20 A dream or vision of being in something like a concrete underground place. The ceiling was really really high.
5:34 “still water I’m safe”
A quick dream, seeing Lisa give a big hug to someone. She had a really joyful smile on her face.
I dreamt that I was at the back of a boat or small ship with my dad; I saw the wave of the water as the boat was driving. It was like I was watching a video because I think I saw it twice, focusing on my dad and thinking he looked younger, seeing the side of his thinning hair as he walked to the left side. In this video I saw my dad swing one big swing and then he got off and walked to the left side. In the video I think I was also swinging with someone (smaller swings).
I dreamt that I went into a room with my mom, feeing like it was my friend’s room, feeling like I hadn’t been there before and there was a newness to it. So because it wasn’t familiar I had a feeling at the end of this dream like I wasn’t supposed to be there, but my mom just sat there, not moving. There was no one in the room. There were hooks by the door and I saw a little girl’s pink jacket hanging on the hook with other jackets. Then I saw a neatly made queen size bed and walked around it. Part of it was close to a wall so I needed to squeeze between the wall and the bed. Then my mom dumped, emptied her bag onto the floor and sat on the floor between the bed and the wall. Then I heard some people and thought we should leave so I told my mom to quickly pack up her stuff so that we could leave. She was still just sitting there and I became impatient and quickly started gathering up all the papers that were on the floor. I heard people but they never came into the room where we were.
8:15 I saw myself; it was like I was standing in front of me, doing something like fixing my tie or something. I had short curly hair.
10:15 “I’ll bring my hard fought, heartfelt, been through hell hallelujah.”
12:43 “It is well, with my soul. It is well, it is well with my soul. When peace like a river attended my way…” ❤️🔥
7:45 I had a vision of a woman walking outside on a nice day in the winter. Close to her house was a barn that had her stallion and another person’s stallion. As she was walking towards the barn, her stallion came to her and they were going to go riding. I had a sense that her stallion knew who it belonged to and there was a sense of loyalty.
March 16: 12:23 a vision of two people walking into a room; she had long brown hair.
5:11 “2 minutes“ Going to the campus in town, a two minute walk:)
In a dream last night I was in a room facing a door that had a small narrow window at the top of the door. I flapped my arms and jumped up as high as I could to see through the window. I could tell that flapping my arms helped me to go higher so I excitedly told Mitch who was beside me to do the same. I went to school with her in high school. Her real name is Michelle, but those who knew her in high school called her Mitch, and I was thinking about this in my dream.
I had a dream where I was showing someone a video about something my kids dad was in. He was leading thousands of chickens in a parade.
In another dream last night I sat down behind a counter not wanting to be in a photo at church.
In another dream I saw S. I went to see if I could still buy a coffee; it was almost time to close the World cafe and they had started already but they “re-opened” for me because they had started to close early, but I still had time.
4:33 “You unravel me, with a melody. You surround me with, love.”
March 17: 12:34 A dream about crackers and white dip. There could have been an orange dip and white on top of that I’m not sure; I saw a cracker scooping up dip.
12:39 Bella and I were doing something together; She stood in a square and told me to stand beside her in the square beside her. In waking life we’re talking about going on a date.
12:48 a vision of a sharp pencil (I bought some sketching pencils and want to start sketching.)
1:09 “safe and sound”
4:49
5:28 “I don’t need anything more…”
5:46 a white pleated dressy sweater that was open and on a hanger.
There was a really deep cliff. Lucas walked down it a bit to look and I told him to be careful because gravel was slippery. I was holding his hand so that he wouldn’t fall. He almost slipped but came up unharmed. Then there were two really deep cliffs right beside each other; the one on the right was far more dangerous (wasn’t meant for anyone to go on), and the one on the left was a really dangerous ride where the vehicle would fall straight down with bumps, and the right was just straight down. Bella was with me in the truck; I had driven into the more dangerous side but the truck bounced to the left side, which was the safer side, right away, and I was so relieved. I told Bella to brace herself as I watched mounds of dirt coming; the truck bounced off of these mounds on the way down and then I saw the smooth road on the ground to the finish line and we were headed towards that. Then we had finished victoriously and were in the office of the people who owned “the ride,” and had talked with them. Then the one in charge was talking to someone on the phone (the phone rang). There was someone else there, sitting, and I started asking him a question, then I realized that the person who I wanted to ask was on the phone with someone who wanted an appointment. I had a feeling like I was done. So I began asking a question but because the person was on the phone, they didn’t hear me and my voice trailed off. The question I started to ask was if we got more points if we were in the vehicle (because it was more difficult if the person was in the vehicle); the price was the same if we were in the vehicle or not; the ride was intended for just vehicles, not people, so I had taken the harder way. But I was done and I was relieved and joyful. I’m not sure what this means.
This morning Lucas played one of his piano songs in a competition, and he was the runner up. He did really well. As the judicator was telling someone about their song, she talked about the arch with how they play the notes, and also she used the words, sentence and phrase “trailed off.” Blessings…
March 18 7:00 A vision of someone with a light blue dress on. Could have had a few flowery prints on the material. I had also had a vision of someone on their knees or they didn’t have legs. In another vision I had vaguely seen a baby in a hospital bed. I’m watching a beautiful sunrise this morning…
This afternoon Lucas performed his second song. There was a girl about 11 or 12 years old who had a blue dress on with a flowered print. When the judicator was talking with her about her performance, she was sitting at the piano, eagerly doing what the judicator was asking her to do. The judicator was so impressed by her eagerness that she told her she’s such a good student. I’m sensing God encouraging me… Blessings…