Psalm 23:1-3
“The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.”
Conversation
Papa, I love You with all my heart. You are my Rock, my firm foundation. You are stable in my life, and I’m so thankful.
I love you Caroline my daughter. You are Mine.
Papa, do You have a word for me today?
Rest; be anxious for nothing, for all is well with you (I’m in good standing with the Lord).
Papa I pray that You’d help me finish my message this week. I’m determined to finish it again.. I also need to paint; I know what I’m going to paint but I need something for it. I just don’t want to be too late with what You’re asking me to do, with the assignments you’ve given me.
I will help you My daughter. You are Mine.
Reflection
Hi everyone, welcome to today’s page in my journal! The Lord wakes me up most nights at certain times after He’s given me a dream, which I sometimes don’t know the meaning of but other times I do, and it’s such a great comfort to my heart. I absolutely love sharing what God is doing in my heart, hoping it’ll inspire you to spend time with God everyday and grow the most fulfilling relationship with Him!
This is my 537th post!! Yay I’m so amazed!! Yesterday, December 10th at 2:11 I woke up with a knowing that the controller wants to control my life, but God wants to set me free. Then at 3:23 I woke up and had dreamt that I had just gotten to my moms house and I heard my brother Bill talking to another person as they were coming into the house. I was in the main area of the house and I saw a computer open on a table. I quickly went to the computer and was going to hide myself in front of it because I didn’t want to start a conversation with the person who my brother was talking with because I hadn’t seen that person for awhile. I had a feeling that the person he was talking with was my uncle Johnny. Then they had walked into the house and had walked across the entrance to go to a doorway to go to another room when I saw them (because the doorway between the room where I was and the entrance was open). I saw a young man and his two little boys. The boys were standing in front of their dad and they were all facing me and looking at me. The dad had a hand on both of his kids. Bill had been walking behind them, and when we saw each other he said, “Hi Caroline,” and I said, “hey.” He kind of smiled and said something about me saying a casual hi even though we hadn’t seen each other for awhile. As he looked at me I could see that he had a gentle and patient look on his face; I could read him without using words.
Then I was by a computer, talking with a plain looking lady that reminds me of my cousins. We were talking about writing a paper. She told me that I should write what I was writing, on paper. I asked her why, because I could type very fast. I had one of my essays there and I showed it to her to show her that I could type it quickly on the computer, but she told me again that I needed to write what I was writing, on paper. This week!!
At 4:40 I woke up and had dreamt that I saw an advertisement of Taylor Swift in concert, on a small phone that I had in my hand; the feeling I had about that was, if something would happen, then another thing would happen. I saw a first, middle and last name at the bottom of the advertisement, and the first letters of each name stood out to me in bold letters (C, A, B). The photo I vaguely saw of Taylor Swift was her sitting on a couch. In waking life my kids talked about other kids in their school being “Swifty’s.” I don’t actually know what she looks like and couldn’t name any of her songs.
I also had dreamt that there was going to be a DC Talk concert. Bella was with me and she said something like the concert was already over and that she would tell me all about it. When I was a teen, I had a DC Talk CD, and the one song that I remember without looking it up is the song about Love being an action word.
I also dreamt that I was in Jesus my husbands house (church!) with his family and extended family (I’m not sure who all but it was more than just the immediate family). I felt like it was for his birthday. I think I had just given him his birthday gift when we embraced!! I was taking in and cherishing every moment in this embrace because it was something that I longed for for so long, and I didn’t know when the next time would be. I buried my face, myself, deep in his embrace and could feel his strong arms around me. Our embrace only lasted about 6 seconds, and his family were all standing around in a circle around us (I think we were part of the circle). Then after the embrace I stepped away and said that I’m so honoured to be with them all..
Then after a little while I needed to go, but then I came back to get something (I think I had forgotten something I’m not sure), and I saw Jesus again and he saw me. His family was still there. A scene where I needed to get onto the counter for some reason; the countertop was all full so I pushed everything up all at one time (by pushing the thing that was closest to me and making that thing push the other thing and so on) and made a small clearing for myself. I was making room for myself and was looking for a ledge on the side of the counter to step onto, to help me get onto the countertop.
Then I had taken beautiful fancy dishes out of a big tray (the tray was completely filled with these beautiful dishes) and had put them into the sink. Because they weren’t dirty, I was only going to rinse them off instead of using soap. Then I had rinsed them and they were ready to be put back into the large tray that had individual spots for each dish. The tray reminds me of the machine at church were we put the dishes and pots onto a tray and put it into the machine to wash. I’m not sure what this could represent, but I’m thinking it has something to do with dining together this Christmas.
Then there was a short scene where I had forgotten to take off my upper retainer so I walked somewhere in the house to take them off. I didn’t want to just put it into a pocket because I didn’t want it to break. A young teenager was standing where I was taking them off and I told her what I was doing. I think I had found a place to put it.
This morning before my alarm at 4:20 I had a quick dream where I was laying in bed and I was pushing my husbands Teddy with my feet (in waking life I have a pillow by my feet because it helps my feet not to cramp). Then I had gotten out of bed and was in the hallway. I heard my husband’s heavy footsteps coming quickly towards me/the hallway that I was in, so I quickly ran into the wide opening that led to the hallway where he had just come from (but in the opposite end of the hallway), hoping he hadn’t seen me. I have no idea why I didn’t want him to see me but I think this has something to do with hearing footsteps to steer me into a certain direction. So when my alarm woke me up at 4:20 I sensed the Holy Spirit helping me to get up through this dream, which I did; I went to Shopgym (Friday too) and worked on Back squats, then rowing and a barbell movement -I forget what they’re called. But it’s so good to be working out again; I really enjoy it!
Yesterday my husband and I went to go see a Christian comedian at church, and about halfway through I all of a sudden began to panic. I’m not sure why but I was feeling very overwhelmed because it was joke after joke after joke. Then after about a minute I was fine again. I think it had to do with my upbringing; I was taught that we always needed to be serious, though not with my friends of course. I think for most of my adulthood I’ve forgotten what deep laughter is like. I’m not feeling sorry for myself, just having an aha moment. It’s so difficult to laugh though when things aren’t going well, but in my heart I’m finally doing really well. This afternoon Bella has an optometrist appointment, then at 3:30 she has an orthodontist appointment. This evening Lucas has his Christmas Band concert. So he’ll be playing in all of the productions at his school. I had a dream about writing on paper and I know the Holy Spirit is urging me on. I’m hoping I can revise it and record it this week. I’m feeling guilty that I’m not working right now but I’m also feeling that time is running out for my message. But I fear God in a Holy way more than I fear what others think of me, but it’s hard. After I’m done my message I’ll make myself available to sub again. This week we need to do our Christmas shopping and I need to visit my mom. We watched Spider-man Homecoming on Saturday! I’m volunteering Dec 24th for the World Cafe. I’m so blessed!!! Good night, many blessings..
December 12: I woke up during the night at 4:44 with a Christmas song in my mind, but I didn’t write it down right away so I don’t remember what it was. Then before waking up in the morning I dreamt that I was with Sohee and another person who I only sensed was there. Pastor A gave us an assignment and Sohee knew exactly what to do without even asking any questions. She just said okay and we went to go do what we needed to do. In my dream I could hear that he gave us something to do, but it wasn’t clear to me, so I followed Sohee. I vaguely remember seeing a map of a green forest (and a few other places on the map), and we needed to follow a straight line from the right to the left of the map (not an actual line). Then we were on a high piece of land in the forest that was only about a few meters wide, and there was water all around it. I was looking down and saw the clear water below, and I saw some people (maybe a parent with a few kids) almost right where I would land if I’d jump. Sohee had jumped off from the other side of this piece of land already. Then the scene changed where I had stepped onto a boulder that was tied to a bungee type rope, and I going down towards the ground. When the boulder reached near the ground I had a few seconds to think and I decided that I was going to quickly step off of the boulder and onto the ground, and that is what I did. A few people nearby saw what I did and they were amazed that I had done that. In my dream the boulder stayed near the ground a bit longer than it would in waking life, before it bounced up again. I’m not sure exactly but I’m sensing this has something to do with working at church?
This afternoon I’m working on my message, hoping to be done today so I can record it soon because I know that time is running out! Christmas is just around the corner when we’re reminded of the birth of Christ. When I think about this, I want God to also birth something in me. I’m reminded about the long journey the Holy Spirit, Jesus and I have been on together for so long, and I’m hoping that I’ve grown up in Him enough so that God can birth something in me in this season of celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ. Many blessings to you…