Very Much Alive!

Revelation 2:3

“You have persevered and have endured hardships for my name, and have not grown weary.”

Father

My faithful one. I love you -you are Mine. Come, dine together with me at my table. Caroline, what’s on your heart?

Father, my heart is so heavy with remorse about not being quick enough to volunteer to go up this next time. I so badly want to go up and feel that this opportunity is gone. 

No my darling, it’s not. It will come again. Remember that I love you. 

Thank you Lord. I really needed to hear that. 

My daughter, there’s more. 

Okay Father, do you have a word for me today? Lord, I keep hearing, “desperate for you.” I am desperate for you Father! My heart cries out for more of you!! Please draw me nearer to you Lord; prepare my heart for more of you.

Come my darling, I have come. I am near to you and will draw you closer still -you are Mine. 

Reflection:

Happy Friday everyone!! Last night I woke up at 12 something I don’t remember, then at 2:30, 3:13, and 4:22. I’d climb every mountain and swim every ocean… enjoying closeness with Jesus. This mornings gym class was brutal! We did 3rounds of wall balls and burpees, then 3 rounds of rowing for calories and power snatches, then 3rounds of Plate overhead walking lunges and chest to bar pull-ups -I did banded pull-ups. Time cap was 30 min. I’m feeling so much better now that I’ve gone back to the gym! 

I had two short dreams last night, which I quickly needed to write down before heading off to the gym. In the first one I was hosing down, what I’m assuming was the basement because the furnace was there, getting rid of cobwebs. I saw a black hose in my hand that I had an easy time using because it was flexible and not heavy at all, and I was hosing down the basement ceiling, the furnace, and I saw all the water running down into the drain on the cement floor. The basement ceiling wasn’t covered so I could see the basement rafters, and this is where the cobwebs had been that I hosed off. The furnace was still on as I had hosed it off to clean it. Then I still had the hose in my hand as I walked, and I noticed an area that was behind a wall that I hadn’t hosed down yet, but I was thinking in my dream that I didn’t need to hose it down because it wasn’t dirty. Cobwebs represent areas in my heart where I was stuck because of believing lies from the enemy, so yay, it’s good to see that I’ve been set free! The furnace represents that my heart is very much alive and in love with Jesus!

In the next dream I was standing, looking at the row of people (their backs) that were higher up, holding onto a bar with both hands as if they were waiting to do some pull-ups. I saw that there wasn’t space for me because they were standing right beside each other. Then I needed to run up a slide and touch something at the top and then come down. Then I was at the top and was sliding down. The slide down was soft and had short hair clippings on it. I vaguely remembered that I had given a haircut. I had my black workout tights on and I slid right through the hair clippings. I awoke before I reached the bottom of the slide. I know this dream has something to do with me going up again, though I’m not sure exactly what. In waking life I’m thinking that the Lord wants me to go up every Wednesday so that I get used to it, so this is my question to Jesus.. I think from now on I’m going to volunteer to go up every Wednesday, and if I’m not supposed to, then I’ll get stopped in some way. That way I can stop wondering about that. Another quick question I have is about wearying ourselves for the Lord. I don’t remember where in the old testament but somewhere the Lord had wanted the Israelites to weary themselves for him, which I understood it like they needed to pursue the Lord as they walked those years in the desert. But they so quickly turned to their idols. And in the New testament, Revelation 2:3 the Lord is saying that they haven’t grown weary in hardships and in pursuing him, which was a good thing. So, I understand both ways that in our pursuit of God we should weary ourselves for him because it shows walking a long journey with him. I also understand that we shouldn’t become weary by allowing the enemy to burden us with depression, worry and other things. I can say that I’ve gotten weary many times as I’ve walked a long journey with the Lord, and the Lord has helped me overcome many obstacles. But in my walk with the Lord right now, Im not heavy spiritually, so I’m thinking that this is what the Lord is talking about in the verse above. Changing the subject, I didn’t go to my moms yesterday so I’ll be going there now. Blessings!