I Accept!!

Matthew 28:18-20

Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

Conversation

Papa, how can I ever express how thankful I am that You saved all of my heart today? All the walls in my heart have come crashing down, and I’ve finally, fully surrendered, desperate to be caught by You! 

Come My faithful daughter, it’s time. Trust Me and follow Me, and I will give you the rest you long for. 

Papa, my heart is so full; I feel like I’m more alive now than I’ve ever been before. I officially accept Your invitation to becoming a pastor. I’m filled with Peace about it, and there’s nothing else I’d rather do than walk beside you Jesus, following Papa where He leads. 

Then come My faithful one, the door is open for you to walk through, and it’s My pleasure to walk with you in the purpose I’ve given you. 

Papa, I praise Your Mighty Name. Great is Your faithfulness to me. From the rising sun to the setting same I will praise Your name. I love You Papa. Thank-you for Your much needed work in my heart. Please come and continue to work in my heart in this next pocket of time coming up as I learn better how to do what You’ve called me to do. I am Yours forever Papa, and I am yours forever Jesus….

Reflection

Hello everyone, welcome to today’s page in my journal! The Lord wakes me up most nights at certain times after He’s given me a dream, which I sometimes don’t know the meaning of but other times I do, and it’s such a great comfort to my heart. I absolutely love sharing what God is doing in my heart, hoping it’ll inspire you to spend time with God everyday and grow the most fulfilling relationship with Him! 

This morning I started John 21:1, Jesus and the Miraculous Catch of Fish, the last chapter! Last night the Lord woke me up at 2:08 with these lyrics in my heart, “Jesus draw me closer to your heart, pull me a little closer, take me a little deeper, I wanna know your heart, I wanna know your heart.” 

After the box this morning I needed to get more sleep, and the Lord woke me up at 7:44 (when I woke up I didn’t immediately look at the time, so when I did it was 7:45, so I’m thinking it was 7:44 when I awoke.) I dreamt that I was looking into a top-load washer that was filled with water, washing a full load of clothing. I also saw a pair of runners among the load that I think were pink, and I have a feeling they were Converse, the type that goes up a bit higher over the ankle. I also vaguely remember in another dream that I was walking with a group of people on a sidewalk; I saw my dad joining our group (my dad represents income/work). I fell back asleep and right before waking up I heard in my heart, “You need to wash dishes when we get home.” In my dream I told Bella this. I’m not sure if this is actually for my daughter or for me, and I’m not sure what these dishes represent. 

I also dreamt something about someone wearing pants again. I think it was two nights ago where I dreamt that we needed to quickly gather essential clothing before heading out of the house before the house would roll us in, and I had had the feeling that we needed to grab pants, maybe dress pants and not jeans, I’m not sure. 

A few years ago I had an amazing animation dream where I was in my house and there was a rushing river right next to my house (I’ll need to post a photo of when we went to rushing river a few weeks ago.) I was standing in a room with a round window, and my sister Connie was standing next to the window. The window cracked and broke and the water/wind sucked her out, and the river took her along. I yelled out to her saying that I’d come find her. Then the scene changed where I was standing in an animated scene; I was standing in front of a huge, full green tree with a beautiful brown trunk. There was a door with an arch at the top that a rabbit impersonating a woman walked out of. She was dressed in a poor but clean dress with a white apron (reminds me of Cinderella’s dress), and had a sweater or purse hanging from one of her arms. The expression on her face was one of amazement as she looked around in her new surroundings. She looked like such a kind rabbit with her ears standing straight up. The feeling I had was that the rabbit, (me) was in another world. Then the scene changed where I saw another female rabbit impersonating a woman, and she was sitting on a nice bench on the side of a sidewalk. The bench was close to a high cliff. She had really nice dress pants, blouse and dress jacket on, and had a feminine briefcase beside her on the ground. She was looking to the side and looked really pleased to be in this setting. Then she stood up with her briefcase and began walking towards her left which felt like there was a civilized town/city in that direction. I dreamt this during covid. I think this dream basically means that the Lord is leading me to the life He’s created me to live. To me dress pants represent work, which would make sense because the Lord is leading me to be a pastor.. The feeling in this dream and the visuals were absolutely amazing. 

I also dreamt that I sang! I held a note and then went up to a higher note with my lungs open to create a nice clear sound, and it was so beautiful! I felt like my voice was beautiful:) Yesterday I ran 4k again but it was difficult because I felt like throwing up; I normally don’t eat until I’m done my devotional time with God (fast), and so I had quickly eaten a toast with two over-easy eggs and water. I normally have oatmeal everyday, which I had today. Today I did sumo deadlifts, and for the workout we did as many rounds as possible in 5 mins of: 1 Power Clean (65lbs), 2 Front Rack Reverse Lunges (same bar, 65lbs), 3 Front Squats (same bar, 65lbs). I did 5 rounds. Feels so good to work out -totally enjoy it! I quickly need to say because I’m sensing I need to clarify: I had a dream not too long ago where I was sitting on a small wagon and Jesus my husband came a joined me. The part that I wasn’t clear on was that as he was getting on, he didn’t bend his legs so they looked like stilts. I’m not sure why this would be important but there we go! Okay now I need to finish cleaning my house. My kids have done their part, and then I’m thinking to make banana coconut cream pie if I have time (I’ll make black beans tomorrow). Praying for, worshiping, and looking forward to Sunday.. many many blessings….

Saturday July 29th:

Last night I dreamt that I was at church and there was a summer event going on; a community outreach of some kind where there were different groups from our church going from one “stage” to the next. I hadn’t planned it but I found myself on stage with a small group of people. There were several areas on the stage where the group would be; I was by a chair kind of in the back and I sat down on it. The stage wasn’t like it would normally be where there’s an audience on one side and where the edge of the stage would be; The whole room was like a stage and had a stage floor. It was a bit dark along the sides where the walls were. Then I was by a cupboard getting something out of it I think when I heard Jesus my husband’s group of people come closer and were just about to round the corner when the scene changed. I was in front of a fridge with the freezer at the top, getting some kind of pastry that had fruit in the middle. Even though I was at church and it was the churches, I was planning to pay for it by putting some loonies or toonies into a container, but I felt a bit guilty about it because I hadn’t asked if I could take it. In waking life when I was making myself some tea when I was volunteering for Kids Rock, there was a tea that I really wanted to try so I took it home, thinking I’d make it at home -it was an Irish tea I think, I don’t exactly remember. But when I got home and until I volunteered again two weeks after that, I was feeling guilty about it and couldn’t make the tea because I hadn’t asked if I could take it home. So I brought it back two weeks later when I was volunteering again and made it there. I confessed this to Ilene and she was so wonderful about it. I know it’s just a teabag, but really, I think it doesn’t matter how big or small it is, only take something if it’s yours or if someone has given it to you:) Continuing with my dream, I vaguely remember seeing the top of the dessert come off and thats when I saw the fruit in the middle. Later in my dream I had misplaced it and couldn’t find it, but then I did and I exclaimed, “that’s where it is!” But then I was in front of the fridge with the freezer at the top again, and this time I saw something like four straight popsicles in my hand. Jeanette K was standing close to me and even though I wanted all of them, I knew I should only take one so I dropped the other ones out of my hand. I think this could possible mean that I only need to do one painting? She had asked me to do six by the end of summer but I’ve been going non-stop all summer long, and I don’t think I’ll be able to do six paintings. I had dreamt not too long ago about seeing something like a paint tray, and most had been filled except maybe three were empty; I had said that these three empty spots were not all bunched together but were among the other ones that had been filled. I need to make a slight correction I think; I saw one of them among some others and two of them were in the same area/close to each other. I’m not sure what this dream had meant, but I’m thinking it had something to do with being on stage where one of them was my message and the two other ones that were close together were that I do two Announcements, but I’m not sure. 

Then the scene changed where I was hanging on a rope on the side of a really big boat. It seemed like it was as big as a ship but it looked more like a boat. I was hanging onto a knot on the rope and my hand nearly slipped off the knot but I managed to hold on. I was aware how deep the ocean was. As I was managing to hold on, I heard a conversation beside me; I had a knowing that two people were talking on a deck of some sort on the outside of the boat. So when I had a firm grip on the knot on the rope, I was swinging towards a big open window; someone had opened it for me. As I was swinging closer, I was a bit to the left side so I needed to put my feet out to guide myself straight through the opening of the window. I’m not sure what this represents other than that I’ve decided in my heart that I’m accepting God’s and Jesus’ invitation to follow him in the calling God has placed on my life. A few dreams ago I had dreamt that we were having hard taco’s for supper, and we had Taco salad for lunch today! I only made the connection as we were eating:) Many Blessings… Early this morning God woke me up at 5:17 with the lyrics, “He won’t fail..he won’t fail, he won’t! God is my firm foundation, the Rock on which I stand. Faithful through generations, why would he fail now, he won’t!”