Today’s post will look a bit different. Gods been working in my heart so much lately that I’m a bit behind with my writing. God gave me a dream two nights ago and I needed to have a better understanding about what God was saying, so I’m going to share a bit about the dream and the conversation I had with him afterward. I’m sure there’s more to the dream than what I’ll understand because God is so big, giving more meaning to things I only understand one way. But the things I miss and misunderstand, I know the Lord is capable to make known to me along the road. When I hear Gods voice, it’s never an audible voice, but a sense in my heart of what he’s saying, and then I interpret it the best I can.
Dream:
I was watching this woman quickly prepare herself to confront the two men she had caught in her net, which had disoriented them. She needed to quickly gain control over them, subdue them before the effect of the net wore off. A voice asked her twice if she had done that already, because it was important to do that first, but the woman said no she had not done it yet because she was preparing herself first; she thought she would have enough time to suit up before doing that.
Then I saw the men hit her over the head with a piece of wood, knocking her unconscious and started to drag her somewhere. All of a sudden another woman with a multitude of children came like a wave in the ocean and defended her. The woman with the children threw herself down on the ground, putting her arms on the unconscious woman and yelled to her captors, “I know who she is!” The two men fell back and ran away.
Conversation:
Holy Spirit, what are the names of these two men?
Depression and Anxiety
Holy Spirit, does the lady with the children represent you?
Yes
What about the children? Freedom?
Yes my child, freedom.
Holy Spirit, after all these years of trying to fit in and be the person others want me to be, I find myself at the place of searching who I am. I remember not knowing who I was even as a teenager. I feel like I’m back at that place, and I’m sensing that it’s you Holy Spirit who has brought me here.
I have. You want to go deeper into Gods heart, and I’m leading you further in.
Holy Spirit, I understand that depression and anxiety cannot go further in.
No they cannot, for they are not friends of God.
Holy Spirit, you know who I am. I feel that my life is about to change and my journey with you will look so different than it does now.
This is true my love.
Holy Spirit, I want to go deeper in. Please continue to be my defender as you lead me deeper in. You are my covering, and you’re leading me into freedom.
My daughter, let’s move forward.
Okay let’s! I love you.
Thoughts:
Most of the time in our journey with the Lord, we think God takes too long to take us where we want to go. This is our perspective and has been mine. We don’t see what God sees and how we need to be changed into becoming more like Jesus SO THAT we can walk where Jesus wants to lead us. In my growing understanding about my walk with him, I need to ask myself, how can I do the work of the Lord if I don’t even know who I am? I didn’t know that I didn’t know who I was. God’s been so patient with me as he slowly leads me into becoming more whole, like him. Knowing who I am is a journey I’m on with the Lord as we walk deeper into Gods heart.
Thinking about depression and anxiety, these were the things I was attracting because I’ve been stuck in my own perspective. But just like the Bible says that the hearts of people can only come to Jesus when God the Father draws them, the Holy Spirit reveals truths to us about our misconceptions about things, and it’s only then that we can know more fully about our own spiritual condition. God knows better how we need to be changed in our heart because we are from the world with a limited perspective, and God is above all. When my heart desires to be changed by him, even if it means going through a painful process and not giving up, he will be faithful to do it and bring me to the place where he desires me to be, because that’s the right place!