Having Faith to Believe

Ecclesiastes 4:12

“Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” 

Father,

My daughter, I love you; you are Mine. Come near to me and I will give you rest.

Oh Dad. I love being in your presence and spending time with you. I pray that you’d give me clarity about the dream you gave me last night. 

You will know my daughter. Caroline, I have a word for you today.

My Father, I really need to hear it; please tell me.

My daughter, you are loved..

Yeah, I know. I just don’t see it, though I have faith to believe it. 

Don’t give up hope my darling, for I am near.

Father, it’s so difficult to only have faith, that all that is given to me is being led in faith. I know this is the foundation of a strong three corded strand, and I am so deeply thankful for it, but how long does this strand need to be?

Rest my faithful one, there is a time for everything.

Father, I need to say that through this long process, the need I have to be thoroughly known and loved is being met. I know this need would not have been met without this long journey together with you.. I also know myself better and therefore love myself better in the way that I am meant to love the person who you’ve created me to be. Normally I’d just brush things off, but you continue to persevere, not allowing me to do that; when you say something for me to do, theres a good reason behind it that will uncover a lie I’m believing about myself, and when I go ahead and do what you want me to do, you strengthen that inner core of who I am and then I’m able to have victory over that one area. So thank-you for your steady gaze. I feel like I’m the most blessed woman on the face of the earth because of how you don’t stop pursuing who you created me to be. So help me honour you in return and follow you without hesitation in all the unknowns, wherever you may take me. I know I’ll be able to do this when I keep a watchful eye on you, always ready.. because I know you preserve me as I keep myself vulnerable. So by faith I fully embrace and kiss your will for me. You give me the greatest and deepest Joy I could ever have; This is mine and this is what I will share with others. 

I love you My faithful daughter. Great is your reward, for you have done well. Come and follow Me, and I will make you a fisher of men! 

Reflection:

This dream I had last night is a bit of a complicated one to describe, but I will do my best. In my dream last night I was in a group of youth and there was a game going on. Someone said a word, which felt like it was an object that nobody wanted. No one wanted that word so I was filled with a sense of purpose and took the word upon myself and yelled the word out into the loud group of kids, yelling the word twice. In waking life I had yelled out the word “listen” twice when we were playing dodgeball in the gym at youth. In my dream when I yelled out this word, it was like saying that I took on this word, which to them was like I was putting a disease upon myself, colliding head-on with their belief about this word. They didn’t want anything to do with this word and avoided it at all cost. So I was putting this word upon myself because they didn’t want to put it upon themselves, which would actually be a good thing for them to do because that was the only way to confront what they were avoiding. So I put this burden upon myself to show them. I knew that when I did, it was like I was coming against a root of a problem. Then I watched and one of the youth was put on the spot and there was a leader close by. The youth asked him something personal and the leader thought he was just trying to avoid doing what the game asked him to do, so the leader laughed and said something like, “oh no, you’re not doing that.” Then the moment passed and I immediately walked over to the leader and whispered in his ear, “you just missed a teaching moment.” I had seen that the youth was genuinely wanting to know what the leader would say because it would help him in his own situation. Okay, if I’m in a situation where a youth asks me a question, I will take him/her seriously; I don’t want to waste any teaching moments.

Then I was still among the youth group and someone called me, her name means , of the forest, I could feel the vibration of my phone which was in my pocket, so I picked it up and was talking with her. I heard her say, “do you remember about the… ” and when she described what she was talking about, I at first didn’t remember but then I did and I saw a picture in my mind of something like a meat bun where the meat was in the middle; being in the middle was the focus. As I continued talking with her, I saw huge silver/gold coins that remind me of loonies and toonies that were the size of big round pizzas, which were in some kind of dark brown pockets like how After Eight chocolates are all individually packaged in their individual packets. So I asked her if she needed money. I’m not sure how she responded, but then I said something like, “I know I didn’t dream about this so you must not need this, but do you need me to pray for your health? then there was silence, like it was something she needed prayer for but hadn’t asked.

Lately I’ve been noticing a few things the Lord has been showing me, and they all have to do with the colour green; my husband gave me green avocado socks; we watched for the first time the 2016 Legend of Tarzan movie on Thursday, reminding me of the dream I had about swinging on tall green tree vines. The Lord showed me a green light like a green ember in a dream a few weeks ago, shining through a bit of a long crack in the ground in a forest. Silvia means ‘of the forest,’ and a few years ago when the Lord touched me as I was sleeping, causing my body to jump up about a foot off my bed while laying on my tummy, he gave me a word, Jane, in my heart (Jane means God is gracious). God’s timing for his grace for me is soon? On another note, when my kids were little I had wanted to get a book series called, The Green Ember by S. D. Smith, which I think has now been made into videos for kids. The characters of these books are brave rabbits as they conquer things much bigger than them. As they say, these are “stories that help make us brave.” I know I need to be brave internally. It reminds me of a dream the Lord gave me a few years ago; there was a huge storm, a very strong current of water rushing past my house, causing the window to shatter and sucking my sister Connie out and taking her. It was awhile ago so I don’t remember exactly but I had said something like, “I’ll meet you there!” Then the scene had changed were I was standing, facing a huge tree with a rounded door in the middle of the brown tree trunk. A female rabbit had come out of the door, walking on her hind feet like an animated film, wearing an old torn dress and apron. She looked around at her new surroundings, so pleased to find herself where she was. Then I knew the rabbit was me and I was looking for my sister Connie. I saw another female rabbit sitting on a nice wooden bench at the foot of a cliff, wearing expensive dress pants and dress jacket. She had a work/tote bag close to her feet, and she was looking around with a pleased smile on her face, like she was about to begin another adventure, filled with a high calling. All this, everything the Lord shows me and knowing a bit about my future gives me so much hope. The Lord is continuing to stretch me, and even though it hurts to be stretched, I want to be stretched first because I love God and Jesus so much that I’m willing to live on the edge longer.. giving myself grace when my first response is to hesitate at something unexpected, because there must be a reason for it and I want to be genuinely known as I grow up in it; this is also a way to keep my Peace. 

Right now it’s 3:28 in the afternoon and I just finished editing my writing. I’m by myself and just a minute ago I nearly fainted. I felt my heart begin to pound or something, I’m not sure, but then I called out, Father! because I felt like I was passing out, and I fell back onto my backrest and almost fainted. What is going on? Sometimes my heart pounds stronger and a bit quicker, so then I just take some deep breaths and I’m good. Anyway, I’m walking with Jesus and walking in my purpose, so I’m good.. I was planning to go to my moms, but maybe I’ll just stay home; maybe I need to see a doctor to see why this happened. I’m volunteering for both services on the fifth. The photo above, Bella, Lucas and myself making a heart of three strands 🥰 Blessings…