A Bigger Desk! Yes!

Psalm 37:34

“Wait for the Lord and keep his way. He will exalt you to inherit the land; when the wicked are cut off, you will see it.” 

My Father,

My faithful daughter, you are Mine -I love you.

Father, I sometimes feel that you’re punishing me because you showed me awhile ago that this trial is over, yet I’m still here. 

I know you feel this way my daughter, but I know better; I see the whole picture. Come, this time is nearly complete, you are mine -I have spoken.

Okay Father, I believe you and I trust in you.

Come my daughter and rest, for I have spoken. 

Reflection:

Well today’s another snow day for my kids because of the road conditions, so they get a really long weekend which they are happy about! I had found a costume/dress for the easter play and it fit perfectly, but I’m more than happy to help out back stage instead! The roads were icy last night but I just drove slowly and it all worked out really well, a lot better than I had imagined. Lately I sensed from Jesus that it really is important to him to hear from me everyday, like how it keeps the fire going; I think that totally makes sense and my heart is warmed that it’s important to him. In my dream last night I was renting part of Tod’s house on the main floor, which was a really big house. My personal room was a smaller, normal size bedroom. I saw in one of the rooms a queen size solid golden or golden-orange headboard with something that reminds me of a torch coming up on both sides of the headboard, and the headboard was standing upright by itself in the middle of the room. The torches reminds me of the torch they light at the olympics except they both came up in an artistic, a bit curvy point. Then I was walking in the hallway, following Tod, and he showed me one of the rooms that had been turned into a bedroom that I could rent if I wanted because he didn’t really need that space. As I walked into it I saw the two areas of the room; the first area was like a big entrance to the bedroom itself, and I saw it was really big and spacious and empty. As I looked around the spacious room I saw that it could be used as a main living area, but I wanted it all to be my bedroom. I saw that it had so much space that it would still seem empty with the little furniture I had, thinking about the small desk I have in waking life. I could see the queen size bed that was made, placed in the middle of the back wall. When I walked further into the room I turned to my left and saw a really big brown corner desk that was empty, a chair and a shelf attached to the desk, along both walls. I’m not sure when the exact moment was but I asked him if I could for sure rent this room from him and right away he said sure. As I looked at the huge desk I was so excited because of all the room I had; I could hardly believe that this desk would actually be mine. I told Tod that I’d like the headboard brought into my room because I wanted to have/use it.  

Then the scene changed where I was still standing in the bedroom, but I saw that Bella was looking through the window between the curtains that were shut, but she was looking outside, watching physical intimacy between a girl and a guy at school, which was right next to the house we were in. I needed to call her twice before she walked to where I was because she couldn’t keep her eyes off of them.. I didn’t want her to see that and thought that maybe I shouldn’t rent this room if that’s what she would be exposed to. Then she said she sees it at school all the time. I know this isn’t literal, even though I feel passionate about Jesus… I think it represents spiritual intimacy with Jesus that has grown through the Holy Spirit which happens as we spend time together everyday. We can’t see it like we do when we see two people in love, but we have an inner love and relationship with Jesus that is tangible in another way that can only be experienced by the person who takes the time to be with Jesus everyday; the evidence of this faith and spiritual intimacy is shown outwardly through the Holy Spirit’s anointing as we speak about what God has done in our heart and as we continue to do what God asks us to do that has everything to do with loving others and leading them to Christ. I believe that walking together with Christ like this shows our love for God, ourselves and others.

 Then the scene changed where I was looking at the spot where my bed would go, and I saw a white big cushion or pillow that the bed would be placed on top of that would take up all the space underneath the bed, except underneath where the pillows would be -that place underneath the bed would be empty. Then the scene changed where there were people in the room and it was the end of our time together so they were leaving. I was giving them something to take home with them, some kind of dessert, but I had run out of a topping to put on top of the dessert so I lifted up something like a long couch cushion to see if there were still some dessert toppings left that had been given by Tod, and I saw a few things that were left and I scooped them up to put on top of their dessert. There still wasn’t enough so I saw two of my wine-glasses that were filled with dessert and candy; I saw through the wine-glasses a few individually wrapped toffee’s so I reached into the glasses to take them out to give to them to put on top of their dessert. Oh my, I think this dream is so confusing.. I think generally this whole dream shows that this particular time-frame is coming to a close and my new desk will be a lot bigger than what I currently have, meaning that my role or responsibility will be bigger too.

Then the scene completely changed where I was outside at school with Bella, and her teacher had told the class to stand in line. She had been one of the first people in line but her friend Kate hadn’t arrived yet, so as soon as she saw that Kate had arrived she went to go meet her and they both stood in line together closer to the back of the line -she gave up her spot for her best friend:) I saw them and they both were smiling so much; they were so glad to be with each other.. Then the scene changed where I was between Bella and Kate, holding both of their hands and we were running. Then Bella was pulling me so much and she yanked me so hard towards herself and where she was going that I found myself being pulled as I was facing the ground, nearly scraping myself on a really broken cement curb corner. I would have fallen but I was holding onto Bella’s hand with both of my hands, hanging on. I think this represents that the Lord is leading me to talk more about how broken my heart has been and how God has been leading me into becoming whole as I’ve grown to know him better. I know that if Jesus wasn’t pulling me along to do it, my first thought would be not to do it because it’s a hard thing to do, but when I think about it more deeply, I would do it because my love for God has grown so much. Even though it’s something to be learned, I really do enjoy speaking in front of people.

In the dream I shared yesterday about seeing my husbands jackets and mine on the same hook, I saw that his light jackets/sweaters were on top of mine, spread out and covering mine, so I know that Jesus is my covering. Recognizing his jackets in my dream also shows that I know him because of the time spent together on this spiritually long journey we’ve walked on together. And because our relationship can’t be physical, we can only know the real one another through heart to heart conversations that can only be possible through the Holy Spirit and what he chooses to reveal. And there’s always a purpose to what the Holy Spirit chooses to reveal, so everything he reveals is the most important thing about what’s in our heart. One thing that the Holy Spirit revealed to me several years ago so that I would know Jesus better is that twenty or thirty years down the road, he will still be faithful. This tells me that he is faithful and that his love for me is genuine and that I can trust in what he says. The Holy Spirit also showed me years ago that I need to hang onto him and never let him go, and if God through the Holy Spirit is telling me this, then I know that I can always trust him and that I’m going the right way. In another more recent dream God showed me that I need to follow the person I see standing on a road in my dream; I only saw the person vaguely but this is another way God has reassured me that I’m going the right way and it’s Jesus that I need to always follow, no matter how difficult the road gets. 

Today is going to be a long day because I need to prepare to speak again, and I’m sensing it’ll be soon because I felt an urgency in my dream yesterday about finding my binder and preparing to teach. So as I share, I think I’ll not say everything in my dreams but generalize a bit more so that I can share more about what I’ve learned from them. The other day I heard someone talk about online dating, and I think if both people are genuine with learning about each other and growing a serious relationship, I think its a way to bypass a lot of the physical stuff that would lead them to places they shouldn’t go to and would later regret. I think it’s a really healthy way to grow a deep relationship where they would get to really know each other because all they can do is talk. But I think there would come a time when this wouldn’t be enough, when their relationship will have grown to a point where they would need to get married because their love for each other would have grown -I could see that it would be really painful, being separated for a long period of time. But when the Holy Spirit is the one leading a growing relationship like this, I think it would be really really special. But who has ever heard of something like this? Sometimes I picture God up in his throne room with Jesus, talking about me and the plans they have for me and I wonder what they would say. I’m in such wonder that God cares about me enough that he would lead me personally and think about all the little things that shows me he loves me. Like yesterday I kept on seeing 44 on the clock! It was so reassuring and felt like God was near me all day yesterday. Changing the subject, a dog is a dog, but there’s nothing like socializing with my friends.. good food, good chicken, good laughter:) I’m so glad I decided to see for myself how the roads were, totally drivable! This Sunday afternoon is my in-law Easter gathering in Altona; I’ll be making a banana, coconut, and a banana-coconut cream pie. I’m planning on continuing crossfit on Monday; my ankle is feeling better so I’m hoping it’ll stay that way. I checked today and so far I’ve had 2,202 all time views on my website, woohoo! Blessings! 👊🏻