Psalm 37:4-6
“Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.”
My Father. My heart is numb, how desperately I need you. I mean this in every way, my Father, Jesus. I feel like my hours are being robbed from me.
Come my daughter and rest -you are mine and I love you.
I deeply miss you Jesus -I feel like I’ve hardly spent time with you lately. Father I praise you and worship you from the deepest part of my heart. Please come and fill me with your love, with who you are. Open my eyes, my ears -I want to know you more.
Come my faithful one, be at rest.
Father, I’m sensing the question,asking if I trust you with my future. It seems like ever day I need to make that decision -with every step I take. I feel like I’m standing in the mist, breathing the heavy air of the enemy. My heart is steadfast in you Father but it’s difficult to all quickly in this atmosphere. This is why I need your grace and your patience with me..
My faithful one, don’t give up. All things are possible through me.
I know Lord, thank-you for the reminder. I love you so very much. Thank-you for being so near.
Reflection:
Hey… I love reflecting and I deeply miss being here these last few days.. On the 29th really early, at 12:16 I woke up with the lyrics, “Break every stronghold, burn like a fire..” (I don’t remember the exact lyrics right now.) I also had an image in my mind, I could see the number 7 in thick white, with a darker background. I think the whiteness of it could be seen brighter because of the dark background. Then in the morning I woke up with the lyrics in my heart, “From the rising sun to the setting same I will praise your name -great is your faithfulness to me.” I had the most wonderful dream that Jesus as my husband and I were on our honeymoon… I vaguely saw that he didn’t have a shirt on and he was laying on his back. I was wrapping saran-wrap around him and had wrapped from the top by his shoulders going down until just passed his elbows. His arms were straight down and I had almost completely wrapped his arms to his sides when I thought they shouldn’t be wrapped to tight so I was going to get them out a bit when he began loosening it up by pulling up the saran wrap on his right arm with his left hand. This reminds me of pulling up our sleeves to get ready for work.. I also had a quick dream that someone was eating a mini hamburger. I also dreamt that I had walked into a big room that had office furniture in the background. I saw the main pastor’s wife there, standing behind the desk. There were some things on the desk, maybe 5 or 6 small things laying down in a neat row, that she was working on, and she was there to help out. I remembered in my dream that I had seen her there once before. I also vaguely remember seeing my husband there, and then I turned around and began walking out, feeling satisfied and glad that he was there.
Last night I dreamt that someone had asked me if I was afraid of driving on the 59 hwy with my toddler daughter. I said something like, “of course not!” To me that was a silly question. I also saw a coffee mug being lifted up and down, like someone had taken a sip of coffee. The mug had thin stripes going down. Another dream where I or someone was climbing a pole. I saw a pole going straight up and I had a knowing about someone climbing it. I also vaguely remember seeing that a table had been set up outside and it had just been placed at a good spot.
Yesterday my back really hurt and also it hurt to walk because of my knee. I went to the chiropractor and today I’m feeling a lot better. I ran 3k today on the track. My knee was uncomfortable but I know the Lord wants me to run so I kept on running. As I ran my knee was feeling better. I’m rolling out my legs everyday and it’s really helping. Last Sunday right before leaving the church I saw someone had cake. Because I hadn’t seen any cake being handed out I dismissed it, thinking he had been at some kind of event or get-together with a group. Later I thought I should have gone back to see and I was so disappointed with myself with not having gone back. Yesterday morning we did back squats. I only did 115lbs. I could have done more but decided not to because as I was squatting lower, the bar, the left side was lower than the right side, and I know that it was because I was favouring my right knee. Maybe after I get etnies my knee will feel better:) I’m planning on filling out our passport renewals online either today or tomorrow. We watched Free Guy again last Sunday after Lucas’ piano recital, which went so well! There were so many things in the movie that made me think about my own story.. I loved watching Jesus Revolution for the first time last Saturday at church! Having had the dream about my pastors wife helping out at church and also having watched this movie and also having seen a casual or part-time employment opportunity at church as a receptionist.. is the Lord leading me to that? Is this what the key represents, that I’m home at the church? I also remember seeing white papers being shuffled, reminding me of the dream that the real-estate person had officially given me the papers to the house that had been bought under my husband and my names.. I’m thinking about the dream that we had gone to BC. I don’t think this is meant literally because I don’t really want to go. It could mean, before Christ, or before some kind of an event in my life. I need to pray about this dream more. I also dreamt that I was taking black stuff out of my eyes; I kept on taking black stuff out of my eyes. The Lord is leading me to seeing more clearly. Anyway, these are my thoughts… many blessings..