My Father, draw near to me please.
I love you Caroline.
Father, I need a break, but I’m thinking that if you give me a break, it’ll only prolong this journey, and I don’t want that. So help me continue to walk without pushing my desires and emotions to the side -revive my hope.
Caroline, I have come and am near. I am your comfort in this season.
Okay Dad, thank-you.
You’re welcome My daughter -I love you.
Reflection:
Romans 6:22 says, “But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves to God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life.” I am enslaved to God and a prisoner of Christ. In worldly understanding this doesn’t sound good, and the enemy would want me to feel sorry for myself. I know the truth about the wisdom of this verse, and I think the deeper the difficulty and pain comes deeper intimacy with the Father because of how he fills this pain with his love. I do feel like a slave right now because it seems like the Lord doesn’t empathize with me because of the length of time this journey is taking. I know that the Lord rewards faithfulness abundantly, so in this season I’m relying on the Lords comfort as I look up to him instead of inward into myself and the difficulty. I’m reminded not to internalize the hardship.
The Lord gave me two dreams last night. I dreamt of two light brown books. One represented youthful years and the other represented speaking. In the second dream I was observing a city and I vaguely saw the beginning of it’s destruction; it’s government was being taken over. Then I was inside a room and I vaguely saw a group of children sitting on the floor and adults were also around. Then they all began to leave because of the beginning of destruction. I was supposed to pray for the children and was standing nearby when I saw a girl who was one of the last to leave, walking towards me. I saw she had a full cast on her left leg and a cast on her left arm and a hand/finger cast on her left hand. I saw the metal support on some of her fingers. Then I saw my sister come towards her quickly and laid her hands on her and began praying for her, so I immediately walked towards her and did the same (to me, my sister represents “the way to go.”). But as the girl was walking towards us, I also saw a lady who seems to have been her teacher. I saw her walking towards the bookshelf or cupboard to my right, to put her books or papers away. My sister asked her, “how hard was it?” To me this question was confusing but they began to talk. In my walk with the Lord, a lot of the times I only vaguely have an understanding about my dreams, which are always about my journey with the Lord. I’m resting about the meaning and I know that as I continue to walk, he’ll make things more clear.
This week I’ll be staying with my mom a lot, helping her clear things out and being her support. One of my sisters was with her all last week. My mom’s doing well though. I think that constantly needing to determine how to best help my dad for so long has been difficult for her, so I think she’s able to rest more now. Blessings.