Matthew 5:16 AMP
“Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good deeds and moral excellence, and glorify your Father in heaven.”
Conversation
Papa. I love You and I worship You with all my heart. You are worthy, so worthy to be praised! I want to be closer to You and to know You more!
Come, My daughter.
Papa, is there a word about Your character that I need to know deep inside my heart?
Yes.. love.
I pray Papa that You would draw me closer to Your heart and lead me to know what Your love is in a deeper way. Papa, I hear lyrics from a song in my heart; Did You Feel The Mountains Tremble? “Open up the doors. Let the music play. And let the streets resound with singing. Songs that bring your hope. Songs that bring your joy. Dancers who dance upon injustice. Did you hear the mountains tremble? Did you hear the oceans roar? When the people rose to sing of, Jesus Christ the risen one.”
Papa, is there anything else You’d like to say to me? I’m sensing the word shine. Matthew 5:16 says, “Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good deeds and moral excellence, and glorify your Father who is in heaven.” Papa, I’m going to let my light shine because I love You.
I love you My faithful daughter -you are Mine!
Reflection
Hi everyone.. welcome to today’s page in my journal! The Lord wakes me up most nights at certain times after He’s given me a dream, which I sometimes don’t know the meaning of but other times I do, and it’s such a great comfort to my heart. I absolutely love sharing what God is doing in my heart, hoping it’ll inspire you to spend time with God everyday and grow the most fulfilling relationship with Him!
I woke up at 3:28 last night with lyrics from the song Gratitude playing in my mind; So I throw up my hands, and praise you again and again, cause all that I have is a Hallelujah, Hallelujah. And I know it’s not much, but I’ve nothing else fit for a King, except for a heart singing Hallelujah, Hallelujah.” I had also dreamt that I was with someone, standing at the edge of a huge waterfall like the Niagara Falls. I remember standing right on the edge, looking down into the white mist and the rushing water, and I had no fear. The person was going to jump in and I was going to follow and jump in too because there was a connection between us. Then I had jumped in and was watching the water and the mist as I was free-falling, preparing myself for when I’d hit the deep water so I could hold my breath, but I still had no fear! Then we had splashed into the deep water and were now walking out onto the beach. I vaguely saw the person walking out of the water as I followed him, feeling like he was my instructor or guide; Jesus is always my guide!
Then after I came back from Shopgym I baked chocolate chip banana muffins and banana bread coated with with pecans; began soaking beans for supper and then swept the floor. After the kids went to school I took a nap; I wasn’t able to fall back asleep after I woke up at 3:28, and I knew I’d be staying up late tonight.
During my nap I dreamt that Gwen asked me if I would lead the main story time (we were in a Kids Rock area). I had a feeling like some people from our church had travelled to another location for a day to have church there. I didn’t say yes right away and then Gwen had walked just around the corner when I became determined to do it. Then she had walked to me again and I told her that I want to do what God wants me to do so yes, I will do it!! And she was her normal smiley self. Then I saw a little girl holding a chip bag, but instead of having chips in the chip bad, there was about a handful of individual packaged fizz candy in it, and the little girl had one of her hands in the bag. The bag had been all the way open, so that’s how I could see all the candy in it. I asked Gwen if she had those growing up, and she kind of shook her head no. I think this dream has something to do with me not saying yes in the few seconds that were available to respond the other day. But, instead of feeling bad about myself, self-condemning, I have more peace about it. I realize that I still need to respect myself because there’s a reason why I responded the way I did, even though I’m not sure why I hesitated. I saw my mentor this afternoon and I told her about the spiritual hook that I felt leave my back two weeks ago, and she said it was there because I had opened the door to it sometime in my life. She asked me if I’ve been fearful or anxious and I told her that I’ve always been fearful and anxious, and that last week or two weeks ago I had talked about that I didn’t know how to live without it. And she had an aha moment that that was where the enemy gained access. She also talked about that we can only feel love or fear, and that everything else stems from either love or fear (perfect love casts out fear). So depression and anxiety both come from fear, not love. After the hook incident I feel so much more peaceful in my heart/soul, so I believe that the fear that I’ve been living with, is gone. So now that Gods peace has taken the place of fear, I need to make sure that I don’t loose my peace because if I do, it gives the enemy access to my soul again and then I would deal with fear issues again. Having said all of that, I’m excited that I’m being rooted and grounded in love and that my heart is truly getting familiar with and growing more in love. Im hoping that I’ll be able to say yes to things better when they’re presented in the spur of the moment.. I think I’m more at rest in my heart now than I was before, and I’m so thankful for that! I also vaguely remember dreaming about a lion but I don’t remember anything else about it.
I still need to finish putting my message together. My goal is to record it on Monday. I’m trying to get the courage to say that I want people to call me Carolyn rather than Caroline. Basically all my family calls me Carolyn, and my dad did too. I had such a busy day today that I finished my conversation with the Lord after we came back home from the city. Tomorrow we’re going to the States -super excited!! Blessings…
December 17th: I had such a good time with with my friends yesterday in the US! I drove my car this time and really enjoyed driving (It was very foggy out, reminding me of my dream. I’m thinking going to the States, across the line, has something to do with my dream. Also, in a different dream I had gone across the border into the US when I saw people wearing white shoes, which is why I bought white shoes) I finally found the two brands of shoes that I had been looking for, plus I bought a pair of white shoes that I had been thinking to get for awhile. In a dream I had had not too long ago I remember looking at a really nice green blouse that I was going to buy, and I also heard, “Get green!” right before waking up. So yesterday I kept my eyes open to seeing a green blouse I thought was nice, but what took me by surprise is when I saw the only pair of green Etnies shoes at Walmart; they only had a men’s size 8.5 in green which I think are a bit big on me (men’s size 8 fits me better), but I got them because I really like them and because of my dream. I bought the white shoes (Time And TRU) because I had also dreamt that a pair of white shoes were going to be given to me. I bought a pair of Lugs. We also went to Target and bought a bag of mini kit kat (dreamt about seeing a girl eating fizz candy from a chip bag.). My friends gave me a pure white bath robe, so comfy! We went to Chick fil A in Grand Forks on the way back and got a 3 chicken strip meal with a Dr. Pepper; also got my kids a meal which I always need to do! But the first thing we did is stop at that coffee place to get a vanilla latte! For lunch we went to Granite City, thinking it was Famous Daves, but it was really good! I got the Millionaire’s Bacon Burger, so good!
Two nights ago I had a quick dream where I saw a woman with longish hair standing on a busy city street, looking to the side and holding up a street sign that said, Hope. She was looking for Hope! I’m not sure if this was a person or hope itself. Last night I dreamt that I had had my arm out of the truck window on the right passenger side. The driver drove so close to the brick wall of the building that my arm would have been squished if I would have left it there. We had passed someone (who was standing before the wall) who was standing on the street that reminds me of someone from Brazil. Anyway, my heart is very full right now!!!! This afternoon we’re going to the movie theatre close to church, seeing the new Wonka movie:) Many blessings to you!!!
December 18: This morning when I awoke I had heard in my heart, “Shout Jesus from the mountain, Jesus from the street. Jesus for my family… I speak Jesus…” I dreamt that I was in a really big room with Karyn my mentor. She was going to teach a lesson to the students. I saw what she was going to teach: I saw a basket or bowl that was filled with big leaves that were died bright yellow and orange. Then I had been standing there, waiting for a bit when I thought to help by preparing ahead of time. I saw a long empty table and I began walking around, looking for the branches that had leaves that I could put onto the table. I vaguely saw that Karyn was standing close to someone, talking. I saw a long branch about my height laying on the floor that only had a few leaves, and I walked past it. Then I vaguely saw another smaller branch that also only had a few leaves (I think, this part is so vague). Then I was walking outside (summer) and close to where I was walking (to my left) was a shrub that only had 3 bigger leaves. One of them was frayed at the bottom. I wondered if I should pick them (for the table I think) but I wasn’t sure so I walked by. Then I was inside looking through a crack in the floor and I saw my (Bella’s old backpack she had in elementary school in waking life) pink backpack among all the other students backpacks that were in a pile and were moving down a slope like they were on an escalator. At first I saw it but then I lost sight of it because they were all moving slowly together, sometimes they’d move underneath other backpacks which I assumed happened to mine. I really don’t know what this dream means. Yesterday was so difficult. At church I was numb. My heart is shattered and I’ve lost hope. I would have cried all day if it wasn’t for my recording. Last week we went Christmas shopping and I quickly went into the UofM bookstore and got a few more water paints and something else I needed to paint the picture I want to paint. Hopefully this week..
December 19: Last night I woke up at 11:31 and had dreamt that we were on a bus!!! I was sitting a row behind and across from Jesus my husband; he had a marriage certificate opened up in his hands and he was reading it!!!! I woke up at 5:55 this morning (I didn’t look at the time right away so I saw 5:56). The lyrics I heard in my heart were, “Speak Jesus from the mountain, Jesus in the street, Jesus for my family… I speak Jesus.” I got up at 7:35 and had dreamt that I was in a building and I was standing at one end of a long hallway. I saw a really tall person right in front of me (seeing up to his chest), and I was feeling overwhelmed.
Then I was in a car (I wasn’t shown if I was driving or not), going really fast down a mountain. I looked to my left and saw an accident; a really expensive car had just driven into the edge of the road (hanging over the edge of a cliff) and getting stuck there, like the person had died. The feeling I had about it being expensive was that money had been too important to this person. Along the edge were tall weeds and high dirt that the car got stuck into. I’m thinking that my flesh has died and I’m more focused on God as I’m going down the mountain.. this is my goal.. Blessings…