“He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your fathers had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord.” Deuteronomy 8:3
Conversation
I love You Papa, Holy Spirit. I worship You. Draw me closer to Your heart Papa. I need You so desperately.
Come. I am yours.
My life is Yours. Please help me to come every time You ask.
Come My daughter, it is nearly done. You are Mine.
Reflection
Hello and welcome to my journal. Life in the valley can be very difficult, but we need to remember that God is always faithful. Right now I’m in a valley, being tested and pruned so that in God’s time I’ll be ready to walk out of this valley, Victorious! What I’ve been doing as I’m waiting is spending time with God and keeping on doing what He’s already asked me to do. I’m clinging onto hope because God is my firm foundation. God is faithful and I know that He will never let me down, and I’m going to stay faithful to Him. He has shown me His faithfulness all the time and I know His love through that. God gives me dreams and wakes me up at certain times. As you read my journal my hope is that even though I’m in a valley in my life, I hope you will be inspired to always keep your heart open to God no matter what’s going on in your life, because God is a God of Love and He always has a Good plan for our life. He knows how to lead us; we just need to trust Him and follow Him! Very often God draws my heart to Him through love songs! My love for God/Jesus keeps on growing as I continue to pursue Him. During the night God wakes me up at certain times with either a word from Him and/or a dream. So here’s my journal entry for today..
12:17 “Richest man alive”
12:18 “Could be asking for his hand in marriage” (Jesus my husband as I’m being obedient to Him)
1:31 was saying that.. (I didn’t finish my thought)
3:08 “When I look at my hands, they look new when I look at my feet, they do too I’m free, I’m free”
4:42 “Power to save there’s power to save. You keep hope alive, keep hope alive. Hope, in the morning hope.
5:05 “Hunt” I saw a group of people with face masks on, about to hunt someone like in Star Wars. They had red body suits on.
5:11 It’s not over
5:13 “You are being pursued.”
5:17 Sensing StarWars and smiles
5:19 “Wisdom and Faith”
5:23 In a vision I clearly saw a younger version of myself; I had short red hair, wearing my glasses, slim, beautiful, peaceful, walking and looking to the side (my direction) in what felt like a mall or a big building.
In a dream years ago God told me not to let go. I was hanging onto Jesus’ neck, my whole body wrapped around his as he held me and jumped from a treehouse onto the ground. So I’m holding on…
5:43 “Home, home home home”
5:58 Black and white stripes
6:04 “Your ability to dance, in front of everyone.” In a vision I saw a lady with a white wedding dress on. I saw her back, the open dress with white straps, beautiful.
6:10 In a vision I saw a young woman crying.
6:12 vision: I saw a drumstick with white sauce and black pepper.
6:19 In a vision I was in the air on top of a huge waterfall like the Niagara Falls. I saw a bird with its wings open, descending to the water below.
6:23 In a vision it felt like I was among the Israelites right before being set free. I vaguely saw an angel had come to fulfill what God had spoken.
6:27 “Amazing grace how sweet the sound. Has saved a wretch like me. I once was lost but now I’m found. Was blind but now I see.”
6:40 cinnamons bun (I made cinnamon buns today because I heard it here.)
6:41 “I will always, calling my name : lyrics
6:45 black pecans; sensed
6:47 going home from church Bella was carrying my light brown purse
7:00 I vaguely saw a word written.
7:22 I heard the piano being played, going from low keys up to higher keys
7:26 A deer went over a fence into a park or something from being on the road and stumbled onto the ground.
7:30 I saw a blue Welches bag (vision) (Bella talked about this today)
7:38 I saw a character from a movie; his tongue was like many little strings of light going around like a funnel. Then I saw vaguely he had a breastplate on that had a stone, vaguely seeing someone’s hand touch the stone. Yesterday we watched the first Guardians of the Galaxy.
7:49 in a vision I saw an owl hanging on a tree; it had a fruit like a grape in its mouth that was attached to the tree.
8:08 In this dream I had a baby toddler and she had poohed in her diaper and I was changing it. When I first opened her diaper I was surprised that the poop there. I thought she needed to go but she already went. Then the poop was on two layers, on top of something like a Kleenex on top of a Kleenex with poop at the top and poop in a middle layer. I was peeling the first layer off when I saw another layer. (I believe this represents sharing what I shared today.
8:28 A vision of seeing someone was about to walk across the street without shoes on.
9:12 A vision of going down the front steps of our house; the steps were steep. Before this I had a vision that I was going on a picnic with someone. We had stopped beside the road (then I had a vague sense of continuing, by this could be wrong.)
8:45 I had a quick dream while sitting at my desk in prayer; I was at a wedding and I saw some bridesmaids.
Today I was working in the kitchen all day. I made French toast and eggs for breakfast, then I made cinnamon buns. I didn’t have a lot of sleep last night so I was tired today. I took a one hour nap while the dough was rising.
November 12: 3:25 “You came to set us free, I am no longer bound.” -Forest Frank
5:20 Believe (I went downstairs to pray.)
I’m so thankful for Jesus who never gives up on me… I’m so thankful for my mentors.. I would truly be lost without them. I’m so thankful for my Papa God, that He has called me His own, and that He sees me all the time. I’m so sad that I had allowed my failures to speak louder to me than my successes, and I’m so thankful for God’s forgiveness. I’m ready to keep following, and I believe that God can help me do what He’s called me to do. I believe and I have hope… 🙏🏼
November 13: 11:49 I love you Lord. Oh Your mercies never fail me. All my days, I’ve been held in Your hand. From the moment that I wake up, until I lay my head, oh I will sing, of the goodness of God. All my life you have been faithful. All my life You have been so, so good. With every breath that I am able, I will sing, of the Goodness of God.
11:57 In a vision I was in line, about to pay at Costco, and in my full cart was a small, full rainbow; I saw the arch. (Gods promise to me that He will do what He said He would do)
12:26 “Act of faith” I was putting a small box of food into the pantry.
12:30 “never look back I’ll never look back I’m yours”
12:33 a round serving bowl of black beans (I’ll make black beans for supper.. I got to enjoy a meal at church today, reminding me of this dream.
12:42 “You prepared a place for me”
12:45 “Marry” (Bride of Christ)
12:51 “A good reminder”
12:54 “Never look back I’ll never look back I’m yours”
1:02 Vision of two white lines coming together to be one
1:17 “7 and 8”
2:35 I heard a song being sung in my dream
4:15 waste?
4:23 I’ll never look back I won’t look back I’m Yours (You saved me You saved me). I’ll never look back I won’t look back I’m yours (You saved me You saved me)
5:13 Papa, can I sleep? (Not go to Shopgym)
Yes My darling
5:36 I dreamt it was Sunday; I was in a city in Britain and we needed to quickly put our COTR posters up around the city to let people know to watch the church service.
6:53 I love Your voice. You have led me through the fire. And in darkest night, You were close like no other. I’ve known You as a Father, I’ve known You as a friend, and I have lived, in the Goodness of God.
6:57? In a vision I saw a square white piece of dry toilet paper float to the floor. I had also had a vision of an angry dog from the side, with its teeth showing.
Thank You Papa…❤️🔥
I spoke with J and I think that some things are going to change for me. I won’t be going to Soar anymore, my time with God will be shortened, I’m going to go back to subbing, trusting that God will lead me into the ministry in the right time. I always thought that my time with subbing was done, and that God was preparing me for working in the ministry while at home, but I can sub during this time as He prepares me.