To Be Known

I love you Dad.

I love you too my daughter. I am near.

Father, thank-you for taking my dad yesterday so that he didn’t need to endure pain for very long. Thank you for being near to my dad when he didn’t have the strength to say what was in his heart to say. Thank you for standing with us as we stood by him in the last moments of his life here on earth. Thank-you for the kindness and love we knew and saw in him as we grew up. For the few times we got to have him to ourselves growing up and in our adult years. 

My faithful daughter -you are mine and I love you with all of who I am. I’m proud of you -you did well. 

Father, I’m sensing that he was thankful and loved having us near him before passing away.

Caroline, he has not forgotten you. He’s so deeply thankful for you and for all his children, and your mom. He does not say goodbye because theres more life in him now than there ever was. He’s here, at home, with me, and I love him too. He’s mine too. 

Thank-you Father. Thank-you for his life. Thank-you that he’s my dad. I’m proud of him and I love him. 

I will tell him that my daughter. You are mine. 

Reflection:

Friday evening my dad was rushed to the hospital into the ER. With heart meds they were able to stabilize him. My brother from Edmonton and his wife started driving out right away and arrived the following day early afternoon. We were waiting for him to arrive before taking my dad off this temporary medication, because he would decline very quickly afterward. Most of my siblings could see him before passing away in the regular hospital ward -Sunday around 2:30 in the afternoon is when he passed. I stayed with him for most of the first night at the ER and all of the second night. My mom and sister were with him when he passed. The funeral will be this Saturday at two. I’m okay, glad he’s not in pain anymore and gets to see the mountains in heaven. 

The dream I had when I saw him with tears in his eyes did represent that he’d pass away soon. When I saw him standing there looking at me with tears in his eyes, the love and understanding I saw in his face makes me think he now knows my journey with the Lord. He now knows more about me than I could ever have shared with him on earth, and this brings me comfort. There’s something about him knowing me intimately as his daughter, the difficulties I’ve faced, and the difficulty of not being able to share thoughts with my dad, that brings me comfort…just him knowing about these things is important to me.

This week I’ll be helping my mom at the condo with my sister. I’ll be sharing memories at the funeral too, but as I was doing my Bible and prayer time with the Lord this morning I was jotting down thoughts for that, so I think I’m basically ready. I’m feeling something in my throat when I swallow, hoping it’s not covid. I needed to be so close to my dad in order to discern what he was saying that I’d be surprised if I hadn’t gotten it from him. I’ll be doing a rapid test later today. Blessing!!