“For you know that when your faith is tested it stirs up power within you to endure all things. And then as your endurance grows even stronger it will release perfection into every part of your being until there is nothing missing and nothing lacking.” James 1:3-4, TPT
Conversation
Papa, I love You. Thank-You for being a God of Love. Thank-You for being so patient, kind and faithful. I give You my heart again today.
I love you My daughter. Rest. All is well with you.
Papa, do You have a word for me today?
Hope
Papa. Today was one of those days of feeling overwhelmed about needing to keep treading water and not give in to the feelings of hopelessness (wishing things were different).
My daughter, never give up. I am always with you. I am always for you.
Thank You. When I miss something.. this is difficult to remember because the hopeless feelings that try and take over.
I love you Caroline -you are Mine.
Reflection
Hello and welcome to today’s page in my journal! The Lord wakes me up most nights at certain times after He’s given me a dream, which I sometimes don’t know the meaning of but other times I do, and it’s such a great comfort to my heart. I absolutely love sharing what God is doing in my heart, hoping it’ll inspire you to spend time with God everyday and grow the most fulfilling relationship with Him. For the past while God has been taking me through a spiritual shower. I believe He’s preparing me for what’s coming up next. He’s purifying my heart so that my heart is clean before Him. It also clears the way for me to hear Holy Spirit better when there’s no mess in the way. I record the times when God says something to me because even in that, there’s meaning. Blessings.
6:48 I woke up and remembered having heard these words in my heart, “All I know is that I’m filled with Jesus, and that I’m filled with Him.”
In my dream I had been in heaven and I was telling someone about it, and said something like, “My experience about what heaven is like is that when I, (and my bed-rest) was there, I was filled with energy and my heart was filled with love.” This could represent making memories Wednesday evening..
These lyrics were also in my heart soon after I woke up. “Christ is my firm foundation. The Rock on which I stand. When everything around me is shaken. I’ve never been more glad, then when I put my faith in Jesus, He’s never let me down. Faithful through generations, why would He fail now? He won’t! He won’t! He won’t fail, He won’t fail, He won’t!”
As I woke up (again) I sensed lots of colours
A German phrase came to my mind during the night but I don’t remember what it is. But I remember it not being very different than what I’d normally hear from the Lord about His faithfulness.
I fell asleep again and when I got up and then looked at the time, it was 8:08. It reminds me that on the 8th hole in mini golf, I got a hole in one! On Monday we got to the Festival Du Voyager right when it had closed. Hopefully it’ll still work to go. Goodnight everyone!!
February 23: In my quiet time with the Lord after Shopgym this morning, I was feeling like my heart is finally resting. I know deep in my heart the calling God has for me. I know who I am in Christ, and I can see that even as a child and then as a teenager, God planted a dream in my heart which I now know is my calling. One day when I was a child I was playing outside in my backyard; I was inside a big box that was on its side and I remember thinking about the poor people in Africa (My mom would sometimes talk about missionaries going there.), and I remember thinking that I’d like to go there sometime and help. I haven’t been to Africa yet but I think one day I will. Then as a teenager God gave me a quick dream that lasted only a few seconds where I was standing on a stage and there were many people there who had come to hear me. I was picking up a water bottle from the stage floor to drink some water like I had just spoken and needed a drink. As I was bending down to grab the water bottle, I was looking at all the people who had come to hear me, and then the dream ended. Back then I thought that maybe one day I would sing, but now I know my calling, which is to speak. In my journey with the Lord, He’s given me many small pieces (mostly through dreams) about my future, and they were like pieces in a jigsaw puzzle. Today when I was coming home from Shopgym it was like it all clicked together and I understood it deeply. First of all God has been healing my heart from a lot of trauma and leading me to be able to trust Him and believe in Him and His love for me. I’m talking about trusting and believing Him deep in my heart, not just head knowledge. He is literally rescuing me from a life that is not mine to live. In my journey with Him, God has been and is training me and preparing me for what is to come. This is who I am; I am God’s daughter, a disciple of God and a follower of God, learning to hear the voice of the Holy Spirit, obeying Him and staying outside of my comfort zone as I follow Him.
10:37 Kanadu (I took a nap and woke up at 10:37 and had heard her name in my heart.) Then I fell asleep again and woke up at 11:11.
I dreamt that I noticed Iryna’s new haircut (In waking life I saw tonight that she had gotten a new haircut, and she got it today!) Then I heard someone say something like her haircut was so amazing, so I walked up to her to take a better look. I went and stood right in front of her, turned her face to the left and saw that she had gotten her hair cut really short, like a buzz cut, above her left ear (about two inches). I also saw that the really short part above her ear was bleached blonde. The rest of her hair was longer and brown. Her hair looked youthful. I’m not sure what this could be about.. though I just got a hair cut yesterday and it’s really short. I think I’m going to cut the length a bit shorter by my ears. I actually like my hair this short because I really don’t enjoy blow drying my hair when it’s longer. The less time I spend on my hair the better! Having said that, I would love for my hair to be long again; if it’s thick enough, then I also don’t need to spend a lot of time on it. I’m sensing to keep it short for now, secretly hoping that God will do something with it. But if it stays like this, that’s fine too.. I think there’s much more important things to think about, like walking in and growing in Gods calling in my life!
In this dream I had driven to JPUSA (in one day) that day, and it was sunny outside. Someone I knew had already left JPUSA to go home. I was feeling so good about being there. I believe JPUSA represents marriage because that’s where I got married.
I’m not sure if this next part was at JPUSA, but I was in the basement, by the basement window. But it was like I was outside because of how the basement window was. The basement window on the outside of our house is lower than the yard, so there’s a small space that’s also deeper around it that’s lower than the yard. I’m pretty sure there’s a name for it. So in my dream this deep part was inside the basement and I was looking down to see the window. There were a few things in front of the window and I had a tall cylinder shaped vase in my hands; I was leaning over the few things, holding the vase with one hand and carefully bending low to put the vase on the floor in front of the window. As I was putting the vase there, being careful so that it wouldn’t tip, I saw a really big black wasp (I thought they were bees but bees aren’t black, and I saw clearly that it was black. I saw the shiny top part of the wings as it walked on the nest) walking around the hive or nest. And I saw many many small wasps, really busy around the nest. I hadn’t disturbed them and quietly stood away from it. I thought I had seen it in another window before, but I’m not sure.
I went into a small bathroom and saw a guys pants and shirt on the floor in front of the toilet I think, so I picked them up and put them on another spot on the bathroom floor (white small tiles). The pants were positioned like the guy had let his pants drop, and he had just stepped out of them. I think I walked past the guy when I walked into the bathroom. I noticed some hair on the floor when I moved the clothes and noticed that the floor was a bit dirty. Then I went back to where the clothing had been, which was only a few steps away, planning on using the toilet. Thinking about one of my dreams about the black panther; thinking I’ll watch the movie. I hadn’t thought about it until now. Blessings…