“Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.” -Colossians 3:15
Conversation
Papa, I love You. I worship You Papa, for Your ways are perfect. Thank-You for this time that I’m learning and growing up in You. It’s so painful but I trust You Papa with all that I am. I’m falling back into Your arms, knowing You’ll catch me.
I love you Caroline. You are Mine.
Papa, I’m sensing I missed You again this morning. I should have raised my hand again. Help me not to allow my heart to get numb again, but to trust You. Help me keep clinging onto the hope that one day I’ll be able to discern Your voice better. I’m so thankful for my community and I love them so much! I pray that You would richly bless them and keep them in Your care. Thank-You for the joy I see in them. I feel like I’m invited and I pray that sooner rather than later You’ll enable me to come. I love You Papa with all my heart and I’m so thankful for You.
Come My faithful one, it is not over; you will learn to discern My voice yet (in that way). I love you with an everlasting love, and you are a treasure in my heart. Rest, your moment is near.
Okay Papa, I have so much hope in my heart! Whatever happens will happen, but all I know and what’s most important is You, and that I belong to You! I love You so much!
I love you too my sweet Caroline. Come, rest, you are Mine.
Reflection
Hello and welcome to today’s page in my journal! The Lord wakes me up most nights at certain times after He’s given me a dream, which I sometimes don’t know the meaning of but other times I do, and it’s such a great comfort to my heart. I absolutely love sharing what God is doing in my heart, hoping it’ll inspire you to spend time with God everyday and grow the most fulfilling relationship with Him. For the past while God has been taking me through a spiritual shower. I believe He’s preparing me for what’s coming up next. He’s purifying my heart so that my heart is clean before Him. It also clears the way for me to hear Holy Spirit better when there’s no mess in the way. I record the times when God says something to me because even in that, there’s meaning. Blessings.
March 17: During the night I woke up and sensed these lyrics in my heart.. “Jesus paid it all. All to him I owe. Sin has left a crimson stain, He washed me white as snow!” I also dreamt that I could hear the whispers of the spirit of fear through something that was rolled up, and I yelled into it to go in Jesus name, and then the voice stopped. I sensed it leave! Thank-You Jesus!
4:23 I couldn’t love you any more, any more, any more, than I do right now, I couldn’t love you any more, any more, any more than I do right now.”
I got up around 6:30 to spend time on my knees, just praying, wanting to draw near to God (without making this my official prayer and writing time). I came against the spirit of fear in Jesus name, sensing that it was time for it to go, and I don’t feel it anymore! I also felt that the grieving time is over so I said that it is done. I also sensed the words, “let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts,” so I looked up what verse it is and declared it over me. Today I felt so much love in my heart for God as I was praying in the spirit, and I can feel it in my heart that there’s been a change. I can truly feel God’s peace in my heart. I was also praying for my hubby, that God’s peace and love be the bridge, that the bridge has now been built. Today the sunrise and sunset both happen at the same time!, at 7:36. But going deeper, it’s been the work of the Holy Spirit, Jesus who I’ve grown to trust, need, love and adore, and my church community who as brothers and sisters in Christ I’ve also grown to trust, need and love. The most important, which brings me to tears is God my Papa, Jesus and the Holy Spirit who I’m so deeply thankful for. I’m so thankful for His love that wouldn’t let me stay where I have been. God has truly transformed my heart, and is still transforming my heart. I’m so deeply thankful for all that God has done for me, and I’m ready for whatever’s next in our walk together. I want what I see before me, to tell others about God’s love, and I know that God will equip me as I keep walking with Him! I’m ready to walk side by side with Jesus, walking in the calling God has for us together.
I invited my neighbour over about a month ago who I’ve been praying for. She’s already a christian and we didn’t talk about our stories about when we became Christians; I kind of felt like she would think that I made her my project and that’s why I invited her over. But I know that I will share my testimony with her sometime. My other neighbour and her husband are also Christians. I’ve been praying for them too (a few times, not everyday), and I’ve been wanting to have her over and will have her over soon. I have two neighbours on the left side; one of them is an elderly lady, and in the house closest to me on our left, I’m not sure if there’s a guy or girl (woman) living there. I left cookies at both their doors when they didn’t answer the doorbell. The elderly lady who lives next to them is a friendly person who walks her dog when it’s not too cold. I’ve been praying more consistently for her, though not everyday. But I’m sensing that God wants me to befriend her. Our neighbours to our right are also Christians and I’ve also prayed for them but not consistently. I’m fighting shame that it takes me so long to hear, but now I’m sensing that God has given me grace and that that part is done. My eyes did that thing again when I looked at the person when they were talking about our neighbours. On the way to church this morning, in front of us right before making a turn to go onto the bridge to go to 75 hwy, I saw the license plate in front of us that said, LAP!, and I rebuked it saying that I won’t need to go another lap/round! This Tuesday evening I’m going to my friends place and bringing soup! The next time we have hot lunch on Friday, I’m planning on baking buns… I had such a wonderful time on Saturday! Everything that was said, the speakers testimonies and messages really spoke to my heart. I’m so thankful that God is changing my heart to look more like His. This week I need to work on putting our taxes together; our taxes need to be submitted by the end of the month. Tomorrow I’ll be making soup for Tuesday. Many blessings… ☀️
March 18: 3:31 “As long as I’m breathing, I’ve got a reason to praise the Lord, oh my soul. Praise the Lord, oh my soul. Let everything, that has breath, praise the Lord! Praise the Lord!
I dreamt that I was outside on a hill I think, in the back of a white truck (the cargo bed of a pick-up truck). I was sitting on a seat like I would be if I was inside the cab, facing forward, except this was a single seat. The seat was too far back from the steering wheel for me so I pulled on the lever in the front of the seat and pulled the seat forward. It had been too far back because a taller person had been sitting in it. I had a feeling like my kids were behind me in their seats. I was slowly backing up to drive away. I was blocked in by many parked vehicles that were surrounding me, and as I was backing up and turning (turning the steering wheel right so that the car would back up counter clockwise) at the same time, I needed to go slow so I wouldn’t hit anybody. As I was looking through the my side window I saw that even in the back beside me there were cars parked. This is when I stopped the truck and adjusted my seat, preparing to drive forward. I saw that the cars surrounding me were very close together, but I didn’t feel that I was being stopped from leaving, even though there was nowhere to go. It felt like there were women around me, watching me, being attentive to what I was doing. It felt like I was stuck and I was pushing through and driving forward through, even though I couldn’t see a way through. In waking life I needed to get up to get ready to go to Shopgym but I fell asleep again and dreamt that it was like I was at the If Gathering and the speaker was saying something about the difficulty of the past, saying, “The Lord loves you! and He knew you!” From these words it sounds like my heart has decided to go, or is deciding if I’m going to go or not, and I don’t want to go! I want to stay in my journey with Jesus, but my heart needs to be convinced!! I’ve learned from my journey with the Lord that what I know in my head is completely different than what is going on in my heart, and it feels like I have no control over my heart, like my heart is separate from me somehow. It’s true that yesterday I had begun to think that I wouldn’t get my hopes up anymore about being able to hear and follow on the same day. If I have no hope, then if I didn’t get it, I wouldn’t be so crushed. I can feel my heart burning right now and I know that that is not how I’m able to move forward. I know I need to get back up and hope again like I’ve been hoping. My hope cannot be in myself, in my ability, but tell that to my heart! I know that in my mind but I don’t seem to know it in my heart. God needs to do that work in my heart so I know it there too. By faith I’m putting my hope in God, in the Holy Spirit to keep me going with hope that I will be able to follow, one day. The cars surrounding me were all parked, and I’m so thankful to have community around me that are so close -I’m so amazed by this. I realize that in the dream where I had stepped into a hidden sunny path with a residential community around it, the hammering I heard could represent that I’m nailing it, over and over again. I know that I have nailed it many times, and I need to remember that instead of remembering the times when I haven’t. This is the lesson I learned this morning when the adjudicator was giving his advice to the piano students. He told them that they needed to remind themselves of two things they liked about the piece they had just done, or else they’d just remember what they didn’t like and then get too down about it. I knew right away that this was my lesson too from the Lord. So I’m remembering the time when I sat in the front row, wearing black and white plaid. I’m remembering the time when I went up front for prayer and spoke the name of the person who needed prayer, and the time when I got up to pray with two other people. Lucas got second place in his 9:00 group with an 87, and got first place in his 6:00 group with a 90!! Blessings…🙏🏻