“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails…” 1Corinthians 13:4-8
Conversation
Papa, I love You so much. Thank-You that Your love for me is patient and kind. Thank-You that You are making a way for me, and that You are opening or have opened a door for me to walk through. I surrender my will, my all to You.
My daughter come, I am near. It’s time. Draw near, My daughter. I have come to set you free.
I believe You Papa. My heart is Yours.
Rest. I am near to you.
Papa, I declare that Your will, will be done in my heart and in my life. I want to follow You for the rest of my life. I’m desperate to be yours…
Come My daughter, rest in Me. I love you.
Reflection
Hello and welcome to my Journal. Life in the valley can be very difficult, but we need to remember that God is always faithful. Right now I’m in a valley, being tested and pruned so that in God’s time I’ll be ready to walk out of this valley, Victorious! What I’ve been doing so I don’t stay in a place of despair is spending time with God and crying out to Him because I know He hears me and He loves me. I’m keeping on doing what He’s already asked me to do. I’m clinging onto hope because God is my firm foundation. God is faithful and I know that He will never let me down, and I’m going to stay faithful to Him. He has shown me His faithfulness more times than I can count, and I know His love through that. God gives me dreams and wakes me up at certain times. As you read my journal my hope is that even though I’m in a valley in my life, I hope you will be inspired to always keep your heart open to God no matter what’s going on in your life, because God is a God of Love and He always has a Good plan for our life. He knows how to lead us; we just need to trust Him and follow Him!
June 4:3:34 “I trust in God, my Saviour the One, who will never fail, He will never fail. I trust in God, my Saviour the One, who will never fail, He will never fail. (Perfect submission, all is at rest. I know the author of tomorrow sorted my steps. So This is my story, this is my song, I’m facing my risen King and Saviour all the day long. I trust in God, my Saviour the one, who will never fail, He will never fail. I sought the Lord, and He heard, and He answered, I sought the Lord, and He heard, and He answered. That’s why I trust Him, that’s why I trust him!!!)
This morning I couldn’t fall back asleep after I woke up at 3:34, and I’ve been awake ever since! My day at school was very busy; because it was raining in the morning, the students came into the classroom right away so I didn’t have time to prepare when I got there shortly after 8:30. So I needed to figure things out as I came to them, which actually turned out well because of the well prepared day by my friend/grade 1 teacher. I’m going to Shopgym tomorrow. I’m not going to be lifting anything heavy for a little while so my back has time to heal. I’m also rowing at Shopgym instead of running. I’m sad about not running, but will try again after I’m done reading my book.
This month I need to sign the subbing contract for the next school year. I’m hesitant because of how my journey with God has been. If I sign the contract, what will that mean? Will it mean that I will actually be needing to sub next year? I saw the most beautiful sunrise this morning at 4:30!!! I could only see the clouds above, but it was so beautiful! Goodnight, blessings…
June 5: 12:15 I saw a young boy of about 6 years old. Someone came close to him (kind of from behind: I saw both his arms come down) and put their hands on him, and the boy yelped. His name was David.
2:01 “I trust in God, my Saviour the One, who will never fail, He will never fail…”
4:01 “I trust in God, my Saviour the One, who will never fail, He will never fail. Perfect submission, all is at rest…” I also had dream when I awoke both times but these faded as I woke up. I went to Shopgym this morning. Thank-you Jesus for your love and for not giving up on me…❤️🔥
May 6: 1:37 I was in a room with some others and we were getting ready to resume doing something like aerobics. There was someone beside me who was pushing me to the side, so I went directly in front of them and claimed my spot. Then I heard someone say, “Good on you Caroline!” because I hadn’t given up and I had done it!!! The room was a bit messy with things on the floor but I vaguely remember clearing things out of the way in order to have a clear spot. (I’m not sure if I heard my name when I heard, good on you)
3:31/32 (I woke up)
5:33 “I’m gonna see you again…”
6:16 I’m gonna see you again, it won’t be long till all the trouble is gone. I’m gonna see you again…”
6:19 “Come My daughter, it’s time.”
6:27 “Papa, I’m so desperate for you!!
6:36 Papa, I just realized that the dream You gave me could have something to do with what I need to do next! Please help me see clearly and give me the courage to follow and not worry about what other people think.
6:44 Come my daughter, it’s time. I will help you.
6:54 Yes Papa, Yes, I want that!!! Yes Yes Yes!!!
7:00 “Seek ye first the Kingdom of God, and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you, hallelujah hallelujah…”
Blessings…
June 7: 1:27 “oh she’s beautiful, she’s apart of me, she’s my wife…” Knowing that I’m part of the bride of Christ is so comforting…
5:20 “I sought the Lord, and He heard, and He answered. I sought the Lord, and he heard, and he answered. That’s why I trust Him! That’s why I trust him!!!”
I believe the dream I had two nights ago meant that I was pushing resistance to the side (seeing a messy room). I’m going to take every opportunity… This morning I heard, stay home!, over and over again, but I knew clearly that it wasn’t from the Lord because He doesn’t talk with me that way. So I went and it was good (bench presses). At the end when I was saying bye to my coach, I remembered my dream where I heard his name being said. The boy in my dream was fearful, so because he had the same name, I’m taking it as, I’m saying goodbye to fear! (Fear will not be my coach any longer) Yes!!!
Reading in the book yesterday about the Scarcity Mentality; this is how I’ve been feeling for so long! It comes from not knowing my value and getting a sense of worth (or worthlessness) from comparing myself to other people. I’ve always compared myself to others; sometimes I thought of myself as better, and sometimes worse. After working through this with one of my pastors, I don’t think I have that mentality anymore. God has been restoring my value, so I believe that I genuinely am happy for other peoples successes because I know in my heart that my value only comes from God. This is a journey that I want to grow stronger in. Papa I give all that to You again. I surrender my all to You. Please forgive me for having that mentality, and fill me with Your love and a deeper sense of worth that can only come from You. I trust You with my heart. I love You.
“Public Victory means working together, communicating together, making things happen together that even the same people couldn’t make happen by working independently. And Public Victory is an outgrowth of the Abundance Mentality Paradigm.” (The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People) My journey is not about me but about God, and I’m definitely not the only one on this journey. This book is so good! I’ve been on the same two/three pages for about an hour, processing, praying, and writing. God is opening my eyes as I’m reading this book.
My emotional bank account is high; Jesus has been pouring into it continuously for many years… enough deposits have been made in order to trust… (252)
“We have heard with our ears, O God; our fathers have told us what you did in their days, in days long ago. With Your hand You drove out the nations and planted our fathers; You crushed the peoples and made our fathers flourish. It was not by their sword that they won the land, nor did their arm bring them victory; it was Your right hand, Your arm, and the light of Your face, for You loved them. You are my King and my God, who decrees victories for jacob. Through You we push back our enemies; through Your name we trample our foes. I do not trust in my bow, my sword does not bring me victory; but You give us victory over our enemies, You put our adversaries to shame. In God we make our boast all day long, and we will praise Your name forever. Selah -Psalm 44:1-8
Today I’m going to be able to follow Jesus because I’m going to push through all the resistance I’m going to face, with the strength of Jesus. I’ve learned that I can’t push through the darkness with my own strength. I’m pushing through fear with the strength of the Holy Spirit so that I can actually follow Jesus today. Today is the day and I praise God and thank Him beforehand. You turn mourning to dancing because You’re the only One who can! ❤️🔥 I believe that I was able to follow Jesus tonight, and I’m so deeply thankful!!! Blessings… 🙏🏼
June 8: 1:26 I laid down in bed and almost immediately I dreamt that I saw my dad sitting on a couch. It felt so real! I vaguely saw someone sitting kind of front of him, sensing it was my mom. My dad was sitting more on the edge of the couch, leaning forward in anticipation. He looked from one side to the other and I heard him saying something like, ohhh, really excited about something. He had a big smile on his face. Yes, going home!!!
1:49 I said a sentence here…
7:15 I woke up and heard in my heart the ending of a sentence in a song, “please take me home…”
8:24 I looked at the time and got up to get ready for the day. I think we may leave church early today if we can. Many blessings…
There was a train on the railway tracks when we got back to town after church today, and I fell asleep as we waited and dreamt that I saw a huge green leaf with water in it to drink. Then with a white paper towel I was dabbing the leaves dry like they were salad. Today at church the wind tipped over my salad plate so I didn’t have any salad.
I dreamt that I was laying in bed, looking at the time, seeing the countdown of numbers and feeling my heart slow down, thinking that I didn’t want to die yet because I hadn’t lived my purpose yet with my husband and family. I remember thinking as I looked at the time that if I would have died, I would be in heaven by now, and the thought of being in heaven was so good. I think I saw the number 14, but I’m not sure. I’m wondering if this represents dying to myself?
“I trust in God, my Saviour the One, who will never fail, He will never fail.”
June 9: 2:48 Bella was driving and I was in the passenger seat. It was snowy outside and Bella hit the curb and I could feel the wheel drive along it. Then something else happened and the car began going in circles and it wouldn’t stop going in circles, counter clockwise. Bella was getting so sick from going in circles that she just half laid in the drivers seat, so I took the steering wheel and turned it all the way clockwise, hoping it would stop the turning. It did, and then I straightened the wheel. Then we were leaving the car and I was helping Bella out of the car.
6:53 I woke up and had dreamt about something, trying to remember my dream.
Bella ran to get water from inside the MCC building after the Fair was over. There was a small line up there.
7:05 Someone was holding out a Mellow Yellow directly in front of me for me to take.
“Take my life and let it be, a Holy offering.” I need to die to myself.. I’m trying.. Holy Spirit needs to help me.. Blessings…
June 10: 12:40 I woke up and heard in my heart, “I belong eternally to God.” ❤️🔥
I also had a dream that I was standing, looking at a lady who was standing in the kitchen in front of the stove that was right by the open doorway, on the other side of the wall. She had been bending down, looking at something and now she was facing me, smiling and saying that I had made an element catch on fire. I had been using it earlier, and after I used it I thought I turned it off but I must not have and it caught on fire; I didn’t know until the lady told me. It also happened to someone else, a youth, maybe Lucas’ friend Jude. I’m not sure what this represents, but I’m sensing it’s a good thing. Maybe what I did counted after all? I sensed to follow and stand closer, so I did, but I thought I had failed when I didn’t go up on the stage after the service… I had also listened when I volunteered for kids program. So I did it???
3:11 “I trust on God, my Saviour the one, who will never fail, He will never fail…”
7:10 I had just come home from Shopgym and I heard this song in my heart:
We waited for this day, gathered in Your name, calling out to You. Your glory like a fire, awaking desire, will burn our hearts with truth.
You’re the reason we’re here, You’re the reason we’re singing.
Open up the heavens, we want to see You. Open up the floodgates, a mighty river flowing from Your heart, filling every part of our praise.
Your presence in this place, Your Glory on our face, we’re looking to the sky. Descending like a cloud, You’re standing with us now, Lord unveil our eyes.
You’re the reason we’re here, You’re the reason we’re singing.
So open up the heavens, we want to see You Open up the floodgates, a mighty river flowing from Your heart, filling every part of our praise.
Show us, show us your Glory, show us, show us Your Power, show us, show us Your Glory Lord.
Show us, show us your Glory, show us, show us Your Power, show us, show us Your Glory Lord..
Today at Shopgym was a running day, so I used the rower. I’ll try running again maybe next Monday.. I’ll see how my back is doing. As I was rowing, all of a sudden one of the lights burnt out with a loud snap and swung down on one hinge and nearly hit me! About the movie, it’s time; Dr. Strange had the green stone (Time). Today I’ll finish reading my book (I’m on page 361) Blessings… 🙏🏻 I finished reading the book at 5:21!