“He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for His name’s sake.”
Psalm 23:3
Conversation
I love You Holy Spirit. Thank-You for being near to me. Thank-You for being my comforter. I worship You.
I love you Carolyn, you are Mine. Come, I have much in store for you.
My heart is at rest Holy Spirit, despite knowing from the dream that it’s still resisting. Thank-You for showing me why, though I know I don’t know everything.
Come My daughter and rest. I will lead you in the way you should go.
Reflection
Hello and welcome to my Journal. Life in the valley can be very difficult, but we need to remember that God is always faithful. Right now I’m in a valley, being tested and pruned so that in God’s time I’ll be ready to walk out of this valley, Victorious! What I’ve been doing as I’m waiting is spending time with God and keeping on doing what He’s already asked me to do. I’m clinging onto hope because God is my firm foundation. God is faithful and I know that He will never let me down, and I’m going to stay faithful to Him. He has shown me His faithfulness all the time and I know His love through that. God gives me dreams and wakes me up at certain times. As you read my journal my hope is that even though I’m in a valley in my life, I hope you will be inspired to always keep your heart open to God no matter what’s going on in your life, because God is a God of Love and He always has a Good plan for our life. He knows how to lead us; we just need to trust Him and follow Him! Very often God draws my heart to Him through love songs! My love for God/Jesus keeps on growing as I continue to pursue Him. During the night God wakes me up at certain times with either a word from Him and/or a dream. So here’s my journal entry for today..
3:36 All praise to the Lord most high. All praise to the one who saved my life. All praise to Jesus Christ, my King forever, my King forever. (I went downstairs to pray and prayed all night.)
4:57 I raise up my hand lay my who life down, my whole life down before You. I raise up my hands lay my who life down, my whole life down before You.
5:36 I saw a plain white T-shirt laying flat, and I heard Jesus’s voice saying something with the word, “somewhere.” I could have seen hands grab it together but I’m not sure.
5:44 I saw a cloth being hung up onto a hook; reminds me of the one we have in our kitchen. I also saw the white lid of a Kirkland sour cream container. I bought Kirkland Sparkling Water..
5:50 I feel like I’m pushing through something.
6:04 I vaguely saw in a dream three picnic tables; sitting at the middle one was a lady wearing a black flowery dress, and the table in front of her was a man who was watching her. Earlier this night I saw someone wearing a white flowery dress, but that seemed a bit odd because I thought I saw Jesus wearing it, so I didn’t write it down.
6:12 I heard Jesus say, “last one.”
6:29 I saw Rice Krispies boxes (could have been the colours pink and blue) being bought in a store.
6:33 I think I saw Jesus holding a little girl, his daughter.
6:41 I was shooting hoops through a wide brown basketball net (there was a brown wooden board that the basketball net was on.)
6:52 I saw something like a big “Jack in a box” except when the top lid flipped open, a bunch of confetti was about to explode out.
7:03 I vaguely saw a small black bomb
7:05 I was with someone at a crosswalk, and when it was time to cross, he put his left hand on my back to guide me across, being a gentleman…
7:09 I saw a huge wooden box/crate filled with water that had been transported. A car could almost fit inside of it.
7:14 I was standing close to a big and beautiful house. I think the windows and doors were open. The man who lived there was making coffee; a cappuccino or latte. It was bright inside and I vaguely heard him say “great.”
7:20 I dreamt that deer were let into a fenced in area to protect them from predators. I saw one dear walk into this area.
7:28 “That’s the only way to do it.” I saw a big white building, and maybe another smaller building that was white; they were on the same parking lot. This could have been my thoughts, but before I saw the white building, I saw Lucas was the summer intern, and he was smiling as he led the group in a discussion.
7:43 I was in a store that had a big window. I was a little girl and my mom was outside. I said something to her through the window, something like, “Mom, did You tell them (something about) wrestling.” At one point at night I sensed to go to bed and rest, but I said I didn’t want to go yet because I wanted to press into the Lord more, to pursue Him more and find out the reason why I can’t seem to ever finish.
7:48 I saw there were red lights shining on the main stage as people were practicing or setting up.
7:50 (I think) a teenager was just done her driving lesson and she got out of the drivers seat. The feeling was that she hadn’t done a good job. I’m thinking this is actually a good thing because I want the Holy Spirit to lead. croissant
7:55 I dreamt that a lady was directing me to go to a walk-in clinic. She was pointing with her arm or hand to indicate where it was.
9:59 “Croissant” “I lift up my hands lay my whole life down, my whole life down before You..”
10:08 Talking about God and if He wants to use us.
10:11 I saw someone jump over the world (maybe a map?)
10:36 Jesus (my husband and I) were driving out of Steinbach when we stopped on the side of the road to talk with a family who were walking towards Steinbach. This family were midgets (they came up to just above my knee I think). My husband was standing by her husband (I saw his legs) and I was kneeling on the ground by his wife to get to her face level. She was carrying a baby that was strapped across her chest in leather (it felt like there were more little ones but I don’t remember seeing them). It was cold out and as I peaked to see the baby I could tell that the baby was also cold and weary. The mom was weary and I asked her if we could give them a ride into Steinbach and she said no. I asked where they were traveling from and she said the city (wpg). I had my arms around her, begging to take them to Steinbach, saying that we are nice people, and she smiled kindly and said no, that they would walk. In my dream I couldn’t understand why she wouldn’t allow us to give her a ride. In my dream I had looked up from trying to convince her, and I saw the back of our white car. This dream I believe represents the reason why I can’t quiet get it. I told the lady that we were nice people so that she could trust us. This tells me that I don’t know Jesus enough… I pressed into the Lord about this but I’m going to press into Him more.
In another dream I was sitting in the middle of the couch and one of the pastors was sitting to my right. I was sitting, facing him. He was showing me something on his phone, an app that he suggested that I download. Then I noticed how close I was sitting to him and I moved back to the left side, and he kept smiling. This could mean that I need to sit more to the middle in the front row..
I also dreamt sometime in the night that I was doing something that I normally wouldn’t do in public unless I knew the person well. One thing I did in the last few days is, after I peeled the skin off my hand that was dry, I put it into my mouth and chewed on it. This may be gross to some people but it’s just something I do. I did something like this in my dream.
I’m making homemade chicken noodle soup for supper. I cooked the chicken all day and bought Harvest Pasta. Tonight is Spirit 360 with B&J. I made Overnight Oats and Banana muffins the other day..🤞🏼
October 11: 4:51 Holy Spirit come! Like a flood! Like a Fire! Holy Spirit come!
5:31 Holy Spirit come! Like a flood! Like a Fire! Holy Spirit come!
6:29 I saw a small tray of four white cans of food on a counter, and there were a few other smaller things on the tray but these stood out to me.
This morning it felt like there was a tornado in my heart and I knew I was being attacked by the enemy; I nearly lost my peace. When the kids went to school I went on my knees and had worship music on, I prayed in my prayer language and also prayed decrees from Patricia King’s book entitled The Power of the Decree. I decreed Identified With Christ, and also Victory. And as I kept on praying (I took communion), the “tornado” left and peace came back into my heart. I feel totally fine again and I wondered if I needed to share this and I thought, yes, because I want to be completely known and completely transparent. I know our journey is nearly complete and so I think the enemy is trying to use every strategy to slow down what God is wanting to do. I need God’s fire, fully aflame in my heart because God is bigger than my fear and insecurity. 🫶🏼
Oct 12: 4:37 Question
5:10 G (my midwife) was working at a salon (Someone I used to work for owned it). I had ordered a procedure where she would put ointment on me, and he respectfully stood nearby. Then she carried me with one arm all the way to the wall. Then when she brought me back she stopped halfway to pick something up from the floor, and I was standing nearby waiting for her. Then she noticed that I was still standing there waiting, so she said something like sorry, and that she could have led me to sit down at my spot earlier. Then I had a feeling like she was going to lead me to sit at my seat when I woke up.
6:33 “I need you more. More than words can say I need you more, more than yesterday… Oh God how I need you.”
8:33 We were watching Twisters again and I momentarily fell asleep; In my dream I heard something about going back to go forward, and when I woke up the character in the Twister’s movie said to Kate, “It’s good to have you back.”
I’m thinking I need to sit more to the middle of the first row, and I’m thinking I need to wear my white dress because I vaguely saw Jesus wearing it in a dream. I also saw a lady wearing all white, but she was wearing very wide white pants, white shirt and a long white dressy sweater. I don’t have wide white dressy pants, so I’m thinking wearing white is what’s important. After the second service I’m helping clean up the communion, but I’m also in collide for the second service, which means we’re coming to the first service. I’m completely letting go of trying to figure everything out beforehand, though I’m sensing to sit in the middle. If I get things wrong as I’m going, then I’m sorry.. I’m just afraid that I’m going to hear my own voice. But I’m also trying not to fear, failing. I could just do the opposite of my first choice like that episode in Seinfeld, but then I’d be trying to do it in my own strength. I’m going to get out of the drivers seat, pray as I walk and hope for the best. I’m trusting Holy Spirit to be able to lead me. I’m ordering hot chocolate tomorrow.. I baked an apple pie for tomorrow,.. 🫰🏼
October 13: 11:50 I dreamt that a girl had graduated from grade 12 and had gone back to school to visit her friends.
11:55 “every night” vaguely dreamt about lemons and pressing in.
12:00 Something about Kids Rock and the kids eating.
12:02 “This is Mercy because…” I dreamt a boy was saying this, feeling like we were at church.
12:05 I saw someone like Alfie sitting at her desk (her desk in my dream), talking with someone. I was behind her.
12:07 In my dream I was talking to someone, hearing someone say something about their grandmother and grandfather had passed away.
12:10 I was with some people, waiting for someone to make my latte.
12:12 I vaguely dreamt about singing one song.
12:14 (could have been 12:13) “welcome to a new relationship.”
12:16 “Connie?” “Carolyn?” A man said our names in a question kind of way and was going to ask us a question or he was going to tell us something. I heard our names very clearly.
12:18 “access” “parking lot” (is required? This is vague)
12:24 I love Your voice” (You have led me through the fire)
12:26 Lightening
1:05 The neighbour kids came into our house: We had left but came back after a few minutes. I had left and when I was in front of our house I looked to the left side and saw the front door on the upper level and knew it was unlocked. I thought I should lock it. Then I was inside upstairs on the top step. The top step was a bit slanted so it was easy to slip, but I didn’t slip but stepped up onto the floor. Then from up there I sensed and then saw our neighbour kids had come into our home and were hiding in a room on the main floor; the door to the room where they were in was open and then I saw one of the little boys’ hands. I saw that he was so scared that he was shaking (because he and his siblings had come into our home without asking us and when we weren’t there) . As I noticed him shaking (he was holding up his hands from behind the door) my husband came home through the door, and I quickly reassured the little boy that it was okay, we totally didn’t mind them coming into our house. Then I saw him slowly walk out from behind the door (In waking life I’m sensing I need to raise my hand at the end one more time but I’m afraid that someone is going to give me a hard time about it because I had already been told that this part was done. So I’m thinking that if I sense to raise my hand, that it’s okay and that I won’t be given a hard time about it?) Then we were all together, talking. There was another adult there.
Then I had walked to the back yard and was looking inside our small swimming pool and I saw the neighbours baby laying at the bottom of the pool. I didn’t know how long he had been there but in my dream I remembered seeing them go into the house and thought that maybe he had been there since then. If he was in the water since then, then there could be no way that he could still be alive. There were some people talking in the back door of the house and I immediately yelled for help, yelling, “help! Help!” The pool was about halfway full of water and I jumped in and grabbed the baby.
Then I was walking towards the door and had put the baby on my left arm face down, and I was hitting the baby’s back, trying to revive him, all the while yelling “help.” No one heard me and I began praying for God to bring him back to life. I remembered who I was, a daughter of God. Then I felt him begin to move! And I continued to hit him on his back to get the water out. I flipped him over so I could see his face, still holding him on my left arm. He was looking fine and wasn’t stressed at all but was breathing normally, as if nothing had happened. He didn’t have any water in his lungs. I had felt so sad earlier about the news I thoughtI would need to give to his parents but I didn’t end up having to share any bad news!
2:22 I thought he was dead (I’m not sure about this; auto correct)
4:24 “All my life You have been faithful. All my life You have been so, so good. With every breath that I am able, I will sing, of the goodness of God.”
I had a dream where a person from India was directing a group of people.
2:52 “Will you marry me!!!!!!!” On the way home I was napping in the passenger seat and I heard these words in my heart right before waking up…. 🫶🏻❤️🔥🙏🏼🫰🏼