“Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.” Psalm 23:6
Conversation
Papa, I love You. I love You Holy Spirit, and I love You Jesus. I worship You with all my heart and I’m so thankful for You, that You are a Pure and Holy God. Please draw me closer, deeper into Your heart. Please forgive me Papa when I don’t put You first or when I look at myself in any way before I look at You.
I love you My darling, My faithful one. You are Mine.
Holy Spirit I pray that You’d give me Your desires. I pray for Your filling my heart with Your presence. Show me areas in my heart where I need to give to You; I fully surrender my all to You.
My daughter, come, let your heart be at rest; My will, will come to pass. I have planted my desire in your heart. I am near.
Holy Spirit, Your love amazes me. I know Your peace and I’m so thankful for it. You sustain me all the time. Thank You for Your loving nearness.
Your welcome My daughter. Come and rest, for I am with you wherever you go.
Reflection
Hello and welcome to my journal. Life in the valley can be very difficult, but we need to remember that God is always faithful. Right now I’m in a valley, being tested and pruned so that in God’s time I’ll be ready to walk out of this valley, Victorious! What I’ve been doing as I’m waiting is spending time with God and keeping on doing what He’s already asked me to do. I’m clinging onto hope because God is my firm foundation. God is faithful and I know that He will never let me down, and I’m going to stay faithful to Him. He has shown me His faithfulness all the time and I know His love through that. God gives me dreams and wakes me up at certain times. As you read my journal my hope is that even though I’m in a valley in my life, I hope you will be inspired to always keep your heart open to God no matter what’s going on in your life, because God is a God of Love and He always has a Good plan for our life. He knows how to lead us; we just need to trust Him and follow Him! Very often God draws my heart to Him through love songs! My love for God/Jesus keeps on growing as I continue to pursue Him. During the night God wakes me up at certain times with either a word from Him and/or a dream. So here’s my journal entry for today..
8: I’m never going to forget” I saw someone begin to walk out of the room. (After coming home from the gathering I went straight to bed, feeling like I had been in a battle with giants all day long.)
2:28 Come! Like a flood! Like a fire! Holy Spirit come! Oh Holy Spirit come.” (I went downstairs to pray)
“He’s calling, He’s calling, He’s calling, come alive, come alive.”
4:13 A vision of standing in front of two big windows that were vertical, my height, and that didn’t have any glass, feeling like they were windows I could walk through. I hardly noticed the one on my right. I was looking into the one on the left; it looked like a fairytale setting, with green grass, blue sky and had some white things like feathers or something, floating gently in the wind.
5:33 I was holding a stack of white papers in my hands, in front of my face. Vision
5:41 I vaguely had papers in my hand and driving south. This morning I’m doing my devotions with God at Oakridge.
6:02 “North Pacific, South Pacific” In my dream someone came to visit me in my home. We were downstairs in the basement. someone was going to follow me so I grabbed a clean navy blue towel from a hook and wrapped it around my waist (there were two blue towels hanging, the one on the left was dirty and the one on the right was clean, and I grabbed the one on my right. I was going to be walking in front of someone as we were walking across the room.
Someone said a few little things and then he wanted to play a game that was there. The ping pong table was there and there was another small table beside that one. Then he had a small rubber ball in his hands. There were two other girls there who were going to play with them; his wife was there too. During my dream I had touched him on his shoulder a few times (two times) and I didn’t want to give her the wrong impression so I also touched her on her shoulder as I spoke to her. She was smiling at me as she stood beside her husband. I saw his back I think when she smiled at me. Then it was the ping pong table they were playing, with the other two girls. Then the ball landed on the floor and rolled underneath something but was still very visible, and he went to get it, going on his hands and knees in front of me to my left.
In one scene there was a small child who was telling me something that her older brother was doing (I didn’t really understand what she was saying but I had the sense that it had something to do with her.) He was going to play ping pong or something but then before doing that he pulled out an inflatable pool for his younger sister. He walked over to the sink and began filling it up with water. I had seen that it had been flat as he was pulling it out by then I saw that it was already filled with a lot of water (the water made it not flat anymore). I think I had asked to fill it up the rest of the way so I was holding it underneath the spout, filling it (there was a lot of water in front of the spout, so I needed to lean way over to get to the spout, but this is vague). I wasn’t sure how full he wanted it so I filled it to the top and thought he could pour some out if he wanted to make it the right amount, which he did. I watched him take it and carefull pour some out, eyeing the right amount. The pool had become small like a round floating tube for small kids.
Then I was going back upstairs and saw standing in front of his coffee machine, making himself a latte. Then I was going back downstairs; I was going down slowly like I was on an elevator with no walls. I was looking straight ahead, then up to the ceiling and saw the underneath side of the stairs going up. Then I saw as I was being brought down, two papers that were folded and taped on the wall that had numbers written on them. I could see the indented parts where there was writing on the other side. On the way down before that there was a small square platform that I was brought passed, and thought that this is what he saw when he came into the basement.
6:59 I vaguely remember seeing papers, that I had given papers to someone.
8:02 “Excitement in the book of Joshua and Rebecca” (I heard these words in my heart right before waking up.)
In a dream at night I was with a group of ladies and one of them was using a pump, putting milk into a container (chocolate milk in the container). I could see her emotion as she was pumping and I said that I remember the feeling. The container was full (of chocolate milk) and she said something like “only six cups can fit in it today.” I was looking at it and thought there was room for a little bit more. She had more to give, but it only had room for six cups. At first I thought it meant pumpkin spice, then this evening I remembered that it was chocolate milk in the container.
My spiritual ears need to open and my physical ears need to open as well; feeling like there’s a blockage. I can’t hear from either of them all the way, and it affects my singing where I can’t hear my voice clearly.
I know that the Holy Spirit is teaching me how to hear and follow Him, so I know that my walk with Him is a treasure. I’m going to my mom’s right after this and taking her shopping at Sobeys if she still needs. Blessings and love…🫰🏼
October 16:12:17 “clean as a baby”? Could just be my thoughts (vision)
12:21 “stress” I was awake, nearly asleep when I heard this.
I had a dream where my purse was an orange brown compared to another leather thing that was a cool brown.
12:27 I had a vision of a garden that had a fence around it to keep animals out. Then I saw a small or baby animal that had been hiding among the plants that came out of hiding and wanted to go out of the fence. Holy Spirit please show me what animal this was and what it represents.
12:34 I had a vision of some small dogs on a sign, reminds me of those electronic signs that have many in one (strip mall). I saw that the sign had a white background. Holy Spirit please show me what the dogs represent? Thank You Holy Spirit! I love You! The word Perths came to mind. The photo of the dogs on Perths sign is what I saw in my vision. I brought my dress there to get cleaned because I had spilled tea on it at the wedding. I’m planning on picking it up after Soar today.
12:47 I was awake and I had a vision, more hearing than seeing, my dad’s voice; he was talking with my mom. I heard my moms voice a little, but I heard my dads voice more.
12:57 I had a vision or dream I’m not sure, that my parents were on vacation and someone was taking care of their chickens. Vaguely seeing one of them looking out of a window with no glass. Reminds me of the “who was” show.
1:00 I had a vision that there was a curfew, vaguely hearing someone say 8:00, 8:00.
1:03 “I’m sorry that sometimes it happens.” Talking about hearing someone snore.
1:05 I heard my mom’s voice in a vision, “I’ll take you, Caroline.” (Chosen?)
1:07 Someone gave someone a white paper, vaguely hearing the word, Two.
1:09 I heard my mom’s voice speak German, feeling like we were in a car.
1:10 Siya shine (German for “very nice.”)
1:34 In a dream I saw a bright orange plant
4:26 Holy Spirit come! Like a fire! In this place! Holy Spirit come!
7:24 I had a vision while in bed, square bales of hay floating in water by a building.
7:30 A quick vision of a block of cheddar cheese; it had two clear plastic layers around it and the outer layer was being peeled off quickly.
7:35 “souvenir?” “No”
7:40 a vision of seeing someone riding a bike on the highway and hearing the word distracted.
7:43 I was on a green grassy hill that had flowers coming up on the right side.
3:21 My left earring fell out of my hands
3:29 “I can breathe freely”
October 17:4:24 “all creation cries, Holy, all creation cries, Holy. You are lifted high, Holy, Holy forever.”
4:48 “all creation cries, Holy, all creation cries, Holy. You are lifted high, Holy, Holy forever.” (I had been awake since 4:24 and went downstairs to pray at 5:05)
5:43 In a vision I saw a box filled with clothing and on top was a brown sweater.
5:47 “Don’t give up” (sensed)
5:57 “You keep hope alive, You keep hope alive.
6:04 I saw a large ball at the top of something, creating a silhouette, and seeing the side of Jesus’ face as he was talking.
6:10 In a vision I saw a guy coming down the stairs to where I was, saying something about giving something “to James.” He had a light blue bandana on his head.
6:14 “made a/the mistake” I heard someone say.
6:38 I saw in a vision someone wearing a green dress (like mine) walking towards someone and standing right in front of them, face to face.
6:43 He’s calling, he’s calling, He’s calling, come alive, come alive.”
6:46 I saw red spots
6:47 “Do you keep track of what you’re supposed to do?” “Thoughtfulness” I heard this in my heart right before waking up. (I used to write all my instructions in a notebook but had stopped. I’ll start again.)
6:13 “it’s my fault” people talking
6:51 In a vision I saw Jesus’ back and I was following him. It felt like we were going on an event
6:55 “she didn’t know” maybe hearing a volunteer at youth’s voice as she was talking about someone.
6:57 a yellow paper with a note saying, “I’ll be here.”
6:59 In a vision I saw a young lady standing in front of a line, giggling and saying something about her glasses, seeing better. (In the front line/in battle?)
7:01 in a vision I saw the door handle of our garage open and hearing the lyrics, “coma coma coma coma coma coma coma come home….”
7:06 It was sunny outside and I followed someone out of the door, ready to do an activity
7:09 I saw a lady sitting on a red couch, on the side where someone always sits. I was facing the same direction as her, standing beside, on her left side.
7:13 in a vision I was washing a pan, I was holding it under running water in a kitchen sink
7:17/18 vision: I had taken a bite of a chocolate brownie
Before this I had vision of a big open space, Jesus was there
8:23 David (I heard in my heart right before waking up)
During the night I dreamt that I was telling someone that I was so glad we didn’t go camping during the summer. Then in my dream I was thinking about that we had just went camping with our camper trailer.
During the night I also dreamt that I was in a room, wondering where Jesus was. Then I was in the hallway, leaving to look for Jesus (looking at what someone was doing) when a few guys came into the room. I was sensing that Jesus was with them. Then I was in another room and I could hear his voice so I stood on tiptoes to see if I could see him, and then I saw his hair and knew it was him. Then I had gone to a kitchen and was about to come back (because I could hear his voice and I really wanted to be with him) when two girls came and ordered some food. So I needed to cook some food for them, feeling trapped because I wanted to be with Jesus. In the kitchen I had turned on a big machine that kind of scared me because of how powerful it was. It looked old and heavy and moved into place when I turned it on.
I’m making banana muffins and vegetable soup today. During the night I had a bit of a headache, and still do.. I have a haircut appointment tomorrow, just getting it shaped. Blessings…
October 18: Today I pressed into the Lord about the meanings of what I dreamt last night, and these are my notes! I don’t know if I got everything right but I’m so excited about this new growth in my faith!
11:53 I had a vision of a10 foot (about) tall and muscular person carrying someone through the airport with no difficulty, like he was a small child. I had a feeling of being very strong immediately after I had this vision. Sensed: “come” “walking in My (Holy Spirit) strength.” “In quietness of heart and trust is my strength, and all will come to pass.”
12:16 “”classified” Sensed: “You will know the truth and the truth will set you free.” “What was hidden will be made known.”
2:07 I dreamt about a long empty white tube. It was the size like the one in the movie ET, big enough to walk in I think. Sensed: “White dove” and “Home” and “Landed” Also sensing a dress.
4:14 “Holy Spirit come! Like a flood! Like a fire! Holy Spirit come! Fill this place! Oh Holy Spirit come..”
7:33 In my time with the Lord after Shopgym I had a vision of jumping over a high rope (skipping) once; I saw someone holding a skipping rope and when she turned it, it was about knee height and she jump over the rope. Vision (about my vision): of one of the volunteers at high school ministry leaning against a wall. It was a bit dark and he was happily talking with someone.
7:44 “June” While awake I clearly heard in my heart Jesus, in a bit of a high voice, playfully in a melodic voice say, June. As I pressed into the Lord I think I momentarily fell asleep. I saw people had something like a ball (it was rounded at the top) in one of their hands, reminding me of controllers for video games.
7:55 “break them” (I’m not sure about this one)
7:56 “Go for Two thousand watts:” I’m not sure if as I was pressing into the Lord if this was a dream or vision, but I had a vague picture of driving to church with my whole family. I had another vision or dream about someone behind some people…
7:59 “Father You are King over the flood. I will be still, know You are God.”
8:00 “last week?” Like someone was asking. I sensed “last day” though I”m not sure if this is right.
8:03 In a dream I saw a green truck drive over a railway track, feeling like it was here on Main Street. Sensed coming home…
8:06 I saw in a dream that a lady had gone up the stairs and was standing on the landing, looking out of the door window and had her hand on the door knob, about to turn it to go outside. Sensing I know God and Jesus’ love for me, so I was able to run up the stairs… In my dream I found the doorknob..
The big machine that resembled a stove except it had thick iron curvy legs and was much bigger than a regular stove: I pressed into the Lord about it and I sensed and heard vaguely that it represents staying in the vine. When I stay in the vine of Christ, I will be able to hear and follow…
Lucas’ yellow backpack is what he uses for his piano books when he goes for lessons. I’ve not been practicing my voice lessons.. I’m going to try and do them everyday, at least some aspect of it. I pressed into the Lord about what the backpack represents and I sensed my interpretation was right.
Pressing into the Holy Spirit took a lot of time so I don’t have time to put this into a separate post. I’ve been eating a lot of carrots, healthy. The soup I made the other day has a whole bag of carrots. Tomorrow Bella has four volleyball games which will take the whole day because they’re not right after the other. Blessings…
October 19: I need to press into the Holy Spirit about these yet.
1:16 A vision about missionaries; A couple went on a mission.
1:20 I heard in my mind someone say my name Caroline, very clearly. I wasn’t sleeping.
1;47 Disappointed
3:36 In a dream I saw someone sitting in a recliner chair.
3:55? I saw big yellow. “You’re never gonna let me go, even when my heart is breaking,
4:08 “Beautiful one I love, beautiful one I adore, beautiful one my soul does sing.”
4:15 All creation cries, Holy, all creation cries, Holy, You are lifted high, Holy, Holy forever.
4:30 Hope
4:33 I was reminded of what I saw at 3:36, someone sitting in a recliner chair (I had forgotten)
4:47 “welcome here” In a vision I was standing in a small (around 10 people) circle and someone said this.
4:60 I heard Jesus say in something like a vision except I only heard, “encourage me.”
4:56 “Are you ready? I heard this in my heart.
5:01 “your children, your wife” (heard in my heart)
5:19 “wait for it” vision of seeing Jesus reaching down for something in a cart, hearing thus phrase like something big was about to happen.
5:32 In a vision I saw a hand take a rock that was stuck on the floor by the left foot of a chair (feeling like it was a kids high chair). I think the chair was facing me, and it was by the upper left corner. The rock was jammed between the chair leg and the floor.
5:44 “Come alive, come alive” (He’s calling, He’s calling)
5:50 Hearing in a vision, “That’s a good question” and seeing a rainbow going straight into my house from heaven (it had a bit of an angle coming from the right).
5:55 I was moving a chair through a doorway with a little bit of difficulty. The bottom of the chair leg rubbed on the carpet (or something like that). I did that yesterday.
5:59 Someone was showing me something in the fridge. There were a few things in there and I saw her arm or hand reaching towards something as she was showing me something. I heard my name Caroline, very clearly.
6:20 I had arrived and had come out of the bus on a city street when a young girl who had a grey shirt on said something to me, making me look at a man on the street. Then I looked closer and saw it was Jesus. I had a knowing that he had left work and was on his way home. I saw him and was watching him through someone’s windshield as he walked (looking at him through a lens), and then I walked further onto the center of the street in front of the bus to keep watching him. I could see him clearly now and I saw that he began jogging. Then the girl asked me if I could buy her a yogurt, and as I looked at her I also noticed I was wearing my long green dress; I saw the wind blowing it beautifully, and I looked at the little girl and said yes, that I would buy her a yogurt, and she began walking towards a store and I followed her. As I looked at the buildings I didn’t know which store we were going to go into. Jesus had a brown shirt on I think and the top part had a few stripes. In my dream I remembered him giving me a hard time, and I had respect for him.
7:02 “for the kids”
As I was saying Psalm 23, I had a vision of a perfect avocado that was cut in half. I noticed the green and how smooth it was.
October 20: 2:48 In my dream I was in the sanctuary, walking towards the first section of all the chairs. I saw the curtains were drawn like it was a Saturday. I was behind the middle sections. I’m thinking I need to sit in the front row in the middle section.
2:56 In a vision I saw a red Doritos bag right in front of my face. I noticed the lightening on the front of the bag.
3:01 I saw two yellow dads cookies packages beside each other (vision)
3:06 I heard in a vision “raise your hand.” A lady was saying this.
3:15 I saw on the back of a chair a screen slide onto it, sliding from the right side to the left, like the whole backrest was a screen and a square image from a computer sliding left onto the screen.
3:20 “technique” (could be my own thought)
4:08 I saw Jesus had just put his green jacket on to go somewhere : vision
4:45 In a dream I was in the convention center and I saw a small area to the side that had a couch, and a woman was sleeping on it.
4:49 vision of my husband sitting in front of me, saying something about bring “before and after.”
4:53 In a vision I think, or I could have fallen asleep, I saw someone wearing a purple shirt, feelings like he was a tech guy. I was thinking about Lucas and tech before this.
4:56 “the sight is when you ask God to tell.” (Vision except I heard)
5:01 I saw someone stepping into a rut on the ground with his right foot, hearing, “he got stuck there.”
5:04 I heard someone saying, “it was a terrible idea.”
5:08 I saw in a vision a paved rounded corner that had some gravel on it.
5:20 I saw a man in his wood working shop saying to his student, “you’ve done grateful in this …” I didn’t see the student; I saw the man walk in this room, talking to his student like he was about to leave and had come to give him thanks.
5:26 “invitation to join”
5:28 “were on the same page”
5:30 I had a picture of being in the Christian school.
5:35 “Gonse valich” (German for “all for it” like I’m agreeing with something wholeheartedly. Yes!!!)
5:39 “section in the middle”
5:43 “Im going to ask my boy”
5:44 “saw a kingdom”
5:54 dream about seeing a baby in a crib and his mom was there with him.
6:14 I dreamt that I was in someone’s house; I had come to take a nap., I had been taken a nap on the floor in one of the rooms and I knew Jesus was close by; I could hear him talking. Then I thought I should probably leave, and then someone came into the room and smiled at me, and we made small talk as she was doing something. Then as I was walking in the living room, walking past him, a few family members or other people were there. Jesus made eye contact and he was kind of smiling. Then he was sitting on the couch with his right arm resting on the arm rest and as I was walking past him I almost touched his hand with my left hand. Then I was helping with something , feeling like for a service for kids. There were two of us that were helping, doing tech. I walked to the place to get something I needed; I had something in my hand but I needed to get a cable for it (from a few things hanging on the wall) and I wasn’t sure which cable I needed. Then I had something like a square flat memory thing. The other person also had one , though it looked different than mine, and she sat down at a computer and put it into a slot to start playing. Then I went and sat down further down row to the left. I saw a small screen that had something playing like a kids video, and I needed to tap it so that her computer and mine would be connected. So I tapped it with my finger and it became more clear. Then I saw where I needed to push my disk into and I pushed it in. Then after the service was done I left, then I thought maybe he wanted me to stay longer so I went back and we smiled at each other . There was a scene where I was holding a newborn baby in my arms. There was another scene where I saw someone’s baby walking along the edge of a floor, and her mom quickly pulled her away from the edge so she wouldn’t fall. Another scene where I was walking along the edge of the floor and beside me on my left was a deep drop off that had deep water and had iron or steel rods sticking up, which would be dangerous if I fell into it. As I was standing close to the edge, walking beside it, I felt an invisible force pulling me towards it, and I told the person who I was with that I was feeling pulled towards it.
6:46 “4:00” seeing 4-14 like on a line (4 on the left and 14 on the right)
As I’m listening to praise and worship and praying in my prayer language I’m remembering when I was a child I would ask my dad a question, and most of the time he didn’t answer me. I would ask him something and hold my breath in fear as I waited to see if he would answer. I’m sensing that I fear God won’t answer me.
Today one of my pastors prophesied over me and said that he sensed for me to rest and enjoy God. Right now it’s like I’m laying down in a field of flowers to rest in God, but I keep lifting my head to see if I’m missing something, causing me to not be at rest. I’ve broken that fear off of me in Jesus name and I’ve put my faith in God that He will answer me when I ask Him something. I think I’ve feared that He wouldn’t answer, that’s why I’ve been having a hard time asking. I believe I’m more at rest about that. I’m putting my trust in God again about my journey with Him and with Jesus… I’m surrendering myself and the outcome to God. I know that God loves me, that Jesus loves me. I know that God works for the good of those who love Him, and I do love Him… However God wants to lead, I’m following Him because He is good all the time. 🫶🏻
October 20: 10:38 “Rest, all is well.” Come My daughter, I have heard you.
10:47 Holy Spirit, please come and take over; I don’t know how to help myself. Please wake me up to know Jesus’ love for me.
10:49 Come, rest. I will take you there. You are Mine.
10:53 “raising of the dead” (I heard this in my heart, a random thought while I was thinking about volunteering for Lifelinks.
10:56 “My daughter, rise.”
11:02 In a vision I saw a man with grey longish straight hair, a bit bald, walk across in front of me from the left to the right. He had a small dog on a leash I think that walked towards me. He was saying something and could have said a name that starts with D. but I’m not certain about that. He reminds me of the guy on the video series we watch with the kids at Collide.
12:28 Come alive, come alive..
12:34. A dream of a white pail being tipped over; someone holding it, tipping it and seeing two places of dripping; the pail was empty.
12:36 “Jesus Christ!” A crowd was yelling His name.“He’s calling, he’s calling,
6:19 come alive, come alive. (I went downstairs to pray)
6:20 He’s calling, he’s calling, He’s calling, come alive.
7:13 “It’s not too late” Come, you are Mine.”
7:17 I forgave my dad for not responding when I asked him questions during this prayer time, and I’m feeling Gods peace in my heart. (I didn’t plan to say things or write things at these times; when I looked up to write, the times I wrote them at were the times I saw when I looked up.)
7:22 song “Give me a higher love…” I had a vision of a few people facing me in a line. The person on my left (facing me) had sat down and the other two were standing; the one right next to the one sitting nudged him to stand up. I’m sensing that God is showing me that it’s not too late. Right after I was done writing that it wasn’t too late, I sensed a bit of fear that I wouldn’t hear Gods voice.
7:37 “I want to play soccer at my house.” I was awake when I heard this. I heard a young teenager say it.
7:44 “A lot of guns” Seeing in a vision teenagers laughing and having fun. I saw an older female teenager laughing with her mouth open; someone had caused her to laugh.
This week I’m going to focus on reading, practicing my voice lessons and painting. I soaked in the tub this morning, so nice. I’ve been meaning to make a homemade stew, probably will this week.. I’m making beans for supper tonight. I was planning on going for coffee this morning with the lady who lives on my street, but I was sensing not to, just because I felt to rest today. Tomorrow after school Bella has a game. There were so many people at the World cafe yesterday that I went to pray with Kids Rock and then I came back to get my drink. I ordered a Pecan Latte, but someone took my drink so I had theirs (we had ordered the same thing) but I wanted my name in the cup! I know it’s probably silly but it was important to me:) ❤️🔥