“He who receives you receives me, and he who receives me receives the one who sent me.” Matthew 10:40
Conversation
Papa, I love You. Thank-You for Your love. I worship You Papa and I praise Your Holy Name!
I love you Caroline. Come, you are Mine.
Thank-You Papa that You’ve opened my eyes. Help me now to see everything You’ll place in front of me. Before I would see but not have an understanding so I didn’t really see. So help me now to really see and understand as I look for You wherever I go.
I love you My darling. Come, all is well with you. (Here I’m sensing, “I have opened the eyes of the blind, that they may see and truly live.”)
Yes Papa, I want that! Thank-You for opening my eyes!!! Thank-You for the purpose You’ve given me even before You created the world!
Come my daughter, all is at Rest.
Reflection
Hello and welcome to my Journal. Life in the valley can be very difficult, but we need to remember that God is always faithful. Right now I’m in a valley, being tested and pruned so that in God’s time I’ll be ready to walk out of this valley, Victorious! What I’ve been doing so I don’t stay in a place of despair is spending time with God and crying out to Him because I know He hears me and He loves me. I’m keeping on doing what He’s already asked me to do. I’m clinging onto hope because God is my firm foundation. God is faithful and I know that He will never let me down, and I’m going to stay faithful to Him. He has shown me His faithfulness more times than I can count, and I know His love through that. God gives me dreams and wakes me up at certain times. As you read my journal my hope is that even though I’m in a valley in my life, I hope you will be inspired to always keep your heart open to God no matter what’s going on in your life, because God is a God of Love and He always has a Good plan for our life. He knows how to lead us; we just need to trust Him and follow Him!
7:35 “I’m not gonna let the fear talk me out of, your love for me. I’m not gonna let the pain talk me out of, your love for me. Not gonna let the doubt talk me out of, your love for me, your love for me…” Gonna Be Alright -Stephan Witt
9:15 It’s my joy to honour You, in all I do, to honour You…
10:4 “I trust in You Papa, Jesus…
11:13 I took a short nap and dreamt that I was on a bridge and saw a girl/yet it was me, going up onto the sidewalk that was on the bridge. The sidewalk went up higher than the road part of the bridge and there was a fence (linked) on the side of the bridge. The sidewalk went about halfway up the height of the fence. (Yesterday I had a moment of doubt, so I believe this is what it’s referring too.)
11:31 I was on the street, about to go onto Lucas’ piano teachers driveway (I saw some (2) cars parked on the driveway). I felt like I was taking voice lessons there, and I needed to keep taking voice lessons during the summer. I’m taking this to mean that God/Jesus is leading me to keep practicing voice over the summer. I love singing and taking voice lessons; I just need to grow my resiliency to practicing everyday. Difficult because the feeling about this isn’t urgent. But I’ve learned that even though it’s not urgent (though maybe now it’s become urgent because I’m making up my mind to follow hard after God/Jesus), it’s a long term goal, so the importance for this is high.
“I’m gonna get through this, through this I’m gonna get through this, so help me God!”
The sailboat song came on and it reminds me of a dream I had long ago where I was in a two person small boat that was just big enough for both of us to sit. Someone was sitting in front of me, paddling, and I was siting behind him… I looked back and saw Jesus standing at the edge of the water, looking at us. I had a feeling of longing for Him as we were slowly rowing away. I had a knowing that the purpose of our journey was to get to know each other, and that Jesus would meet us at a certain spot when the journey was done. This person represents Jesus as my husband… and we’ve gotten to know each other very well through the Holy Spirit.. Wow, it’s been such a painful, emotional, and adventurous journey!!
I felt Gods love and His presence fill my heart this afternoon, such a gentle love.. The song playing is Gratitude. When I began feeling Gods love saturate my heart, I was so in awe of His presence and began thanking Him and praising His name that I only looked at the time at 3:15. I love God, Jesus so much…
“So I throw up my hands, praise You again and again, cause all that I have is a hallelujah, hallelujah and I know it’s not much, but I’ve nothing else fit for a King, except for a heart singing hallelujah, hallelujah. I’ve got one response, I’ve got just one move, with my arms stretched wide, I will worship You.” I actually went on a hoverboard yesterday and I think I did very well! It reminds me of a plane, having balance because it has two wings… Blessings..
June 14: 10:50 I’m not giving up, please take me home. From a sail boat.
11:00 I dreamt that because it was dark, black outside, as I was driving I drove into a barricade that was blocking the road; the ones with a bar going across. There’s something I’m not seeing? I didn’t have my headlights on so I drove right into them. In my dream I saw how black it was right in front of me; I wasn’t thinking about headlights. If I don’t make it today, I will make sure to keep declaring scripture and spending time with God. I didn’t have a lot of time today. I opened the door at church and saw it was all dark; I peeked in but didn’t go in. I saw all the cones outside; I don’t need to do any rollerblading today? I’ll just do what I see being done…
2:43 “I’ve come so far but I’ve got so far to go.
3:59 “A brave new start” (from a song…)
4:30 So I throw up my hands, and praise You again and again, cause all that I have is a hallelujah, hallelujah
4:38 “I give it all, my heart and soul, Jesus I’m living for you!” (I got up to pray)
5:08 Papa, I’m sensing to be baptized again… and I see a big “yes” in my mind. I’m sensing that to get Dunked again is going into the river. Im going to pray more into this.
5:20 Come
Yes Papa, I’m coming…
5:23 “It’s my joy to honour You, in all I do, to honour You.”
This morning right after Shopgym (my max today was 75lbs X5), I got Bella up to look around town for the hidden treasure (gift cards:)), so we went by the Heritage building and then to the park and didn’t find anything. Then we went to the 5th estates and found so many! We stopped at a smaller kids playground and found 5 I think, then I found one taped onto a group of mailboxes. Then we stopped at the big playground and the wooden structure by the pond and found so many! Then I found three I think in the seating area beside that, and one in the tree! By that time we had 13. Then after I dropped Bella off at school I went to a more hidden small playground behind my friends house and found one in a toddlers swing! So altogether we found 14! $70 worth of gift cards:) I went to the bridge beside the railway tracks, hoping to find one, and when I got there I saw blue tape and I knew there had been one there.. oh well:( So I took a photo on the bridge with all 14 gift cards:) Making Dads cookies this afternoon… Blessings… 🙏🏼
June 15: 2:38 I won’t let fear talk me out of, Your love for me..
3:23 I’m not giving up
3;32 hear you whispering
3:39 I’m not giving up
3:55 I’m not giving up, I here you whispering
3:59 I’m not giving up, I hear you whispering
4:00 Papa, I’m not giving up, because I hear You whispering.
4:01 Good
4:02 Come, I am near
4:03 I’m coming. Please don’t give up on me…
4:11 I’ve come so far but I’ve got so far to go
4:22 I hear You whispering
I dreamt I was walking in mud, walking in a little indent and walking up out of it.
4:29 I’m not giving up
4:37 I’m not giving up, moving forward…
4:44 Bella was showing Jesus something, and he said, uh huh
5:06 I saw yellow and black spatulas in a drawer (reminding me of church)
5:45 Do you like turning my heart? (I had been asleep and woke up and had heard this in my heart.)
6:54 I dreamt I saw someone bend their knees (opening and closing them) while standing and swaying their arms in front back and forth. It reminds me of when two people used to do a bit of a dance at the door at church. I did that after I bought my shoes, I was so happy! I didn’t sleep for most of the night and heard the lyrics above in my mind/heart. I love You Papa, Jesus…
June 16 On the way home we were listening to worship music and the words were so good that I needed to write them down, feeling the words deeply.
8:41 “Amazing Grace how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me. I once was lost but now I’m found. Was blind but now I see.”
“Our God is an awesome God He reigns, from heaven above with wisdom power and love our God is an awesome God.”
8:51 “I have decided to follow Jesus, no turning back, no turning back. The cross before me, the world behind me. No turning back, no turning back. Christ is enough for me..”
9:10 (16) “I see the cross I see freedom. My Saviour Christ, Victorious, from death too life, from Grace to Grace”
9:11 “Here I am to worship, here I am to bow down. Here I am to say that You’re my God. You’re all together lovely, all together worthy, altogether wonderful to me. Humbly You came to the earth You created..”
“Call upon the name of the Lord and be saved. I’ll never know how much it cost to see my sin upon that cross..”
Yesterday in the way home we saw a beautiful rainbow, and another faint one covering it (double rainbow -feeling like this represents God making a way where there was no way, having two ). Then it faded and disappeared. Then at 9:19 (16, 6’1” , 16th today) I saw another full one going right over my hometown, so very beautiful!!! It reminds me of Gods promise for when one disappears, God will provide another one in its place, one that will last for forever…
9:24 I took the photo of the rainbow over Niverville. It was a full rainbow! So beautiful! I’m sensing from the Lord that I have Gods Grace again about Friday…
Hallelujah
12:24 “Carolyn.. come…” “I’m coming Papa…” (I heard the Holy Spirit say my name this way in my heart!! I’m trusting and will do my best to follow tomorrow…) I bought white Converse at Famous Footware in Grand Forks! I also bought some clothes at Target. I had such a wonderful time; it was ointment for my soul after yesterday.
June 16: 2:09 “Do you guys have Smittys?” (I heard someone ask if my hometown had a Smittys.) When we were looking for $5 gift cards around town, I found a gift card for Smittys, a family restaurant.
2:12 “He’ll help to lead me and he’ll help to guide me…”
2:15 “just ask his girlfriend…”
2:17 “what was his name?”
2:39 I’m not giving up.. I’m gonna move on forward..
7;37/38 Not gonna let fear talk me out of, your love for me. Not gonna let doubt talk me out of, your love for me.
This morning I went downstairs to pray and as I was praying, I came to realize that what I heard in my heart during the night was a conversation, so I’m going to wear my converse shoes… When I went to the small group on Friday, I had such a good time having a conversation… it was so different than Wednesdays.. I really would like to be a leader Fridays. On the way home yesterday a coyote ran across the road; I was looking out of the side window so I didn’t see it, but it reminds me of the dream I had. Did amazing this morning!! We’re bbqing for supper with potatoe wedges and a salad, then watching a movie, maybe endgame. I need to be close to you Jesus!!! Happy Fathers Day!!!❤️🔥