“The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.: Psalm 23:1-3
Conversation
Papa, I love You. Please forgive me for not being spiritually alert and for not guarding my heart from the enemy. Please help me get through this painful time.. I submit myself to You. Please come and take over my heart, my life.
Come My daughter, and rest. You’re going to be okay. Trust Me.
Papa, how can I face the very one You asked me to follow?
You can because I love you.
Papa, please help me know deep in my heart that Jesus loves me…
Come, I will help you. Rest, you are Mine.
Reflection
Hello and welcome to my Journal. Life in the valley can be very difficult, but we need to remember that God is always faithful. Right now I’m in a valley, being tested and pruned so that in God’s time I’ll be ready to walk out of this valley, victorious. What I’ve been doing so I don’t stay in a place of despair is spending time with God, declaring scripture, and crying out to Him because I know He hears me and He loves me. I’m keeping on doing what He’s already asked me to do. I’m clinging onto hope because God is my firm foundation. God is faithful and I know that He will never let me down, and I’m going to stay faithful to Him. He has shown me His faithfulness more times than I can count, and I know His love through that. God gives me dreams and wakes me up at certain times. As you read my journal my hope is that even though I’m in a valley in my life, I hope you will be inspired to always keep your heart open to God no matter what’s going on in your life, because God is a God of Love and He always has a Good plan for our life. He knows how to lead us; we just need to trust Him and follow Him.
1:06 I leave my heart open, open for you. I’m holding back nothing, nothing from you. Take my life and let it be, a Holy offering.
1:11 I dreamt that I saw a man’s feet walking huge steps. I also dreamt about a seed, a seed that had been inside a hard shell; I vaguely saw a man’s hand holding the seed at the tip of fingers; the seed was resting on the tip of his fingers as he was holding his hand out for me, offering the seed to me.
1:28 I saw a really big crate that was filled with lots of smaller yellow boxes the size of cereal boxes (the crate had no lid so I saw all the boxes neatly laid out). Someone had delivered it and I heard, “I’ll be right back.” They had delivered it to my door, and I was standing in the open doorway as he walked past me like he was walking into my house.
2:03 I saw someone standing outside wearing yellow and blue.
3:38 Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine… saw someone standing, wearing shorts, vaguely seeing yellow and blue. (I went downstairs to pray at 4)
4:33 Papa
Come near
Papa, I realize that a lot of the time I’ve been trusting my feelings, following how I feel at the moment rather than asking You about it. I’m deeply sorry.
Come
Papa
Rest
Papa, please save me from myself.
Come My daughter, you are Mine. I love you.
Papa, my heart and soul are crushed. I don’t trust myself. I put my confidence in You.
Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine.
Papa, help me grow in Your love.
5:22 Come, My faithful one. Rest, knowing you are Mine. I love you. “His banner over me is love.”
“Christ is my firm foundation. The Rock on which I stand. When everything around me is shaken. I’ve never been more glad, than when I’ve put my faith in Jesus, cause He’s never let me down. He’s faithful through generations, so why would He fail now, He won’t. He won’t , He won’t fail. He won’t fail, He won’t.”
5:42 “From the lips of those You saved, a redemption song will rise. Every tongue, every tribe, hear the Church, Your bride. Whoa, we sing hallelujah. Who we sing amen. Hear the sound of the saints as we march onto Zion singing, hallelujah amen, singing, hallelujah amen.
6;11 I sensed that God/Jesus is leading me, and that’s why he doing all the things he’s leading me to do. (I woke up sensing this)
6:13 “Salsa”
I had a vague dream of someone, a woman, taking big steps, going into someone’s house a bit upset and asking, “you haven’t left yet?” (I think this could represent me getting out of the house and going for a run. It helped to compose myself.)
7:29 “It’s called a business meeting.”
7:33 you were there faithfully
7:48 Woke up, feeling my heart warm up with Gods love. Thank-You Papa.
7:50 I trust in God, my Saviour the One, who will never fail. He will never fail.
10:46 I saw an onion (in a dream)
1:19 “I keep my heart open, open to you. I’m holding back nothing, nothing for you…” (I took a bit of a nap)
1:22 I saw yellow wet swimming trunks on the floor that had been used.
1:27 “I’m holding back nothing, nothing from you…” I saw a lot of beautiful golden yellow trees, seeing the leaves rustle in the gentle wind.
Today I went running. We ran 3.1 miles and ran it without stopping. My back feels a lot better. Doing yard work today for BLESS, with our neighbours across the street and going two houses down to do yard work for a lady on my Bless card. Love and Blessings…
June 21: 4:42 “oh I’m not giving up, I hear you whispering..”
5:10 “oh I’m not giving up, I hear you whispering..”
10:51 In my prayer time I was kneeling in Bella’s room at her bed and I laid my head down to rest and immediately dreamt that I vaguely saw, had a glimpse of two people on a boat, then I saw more clearly a boy at the steering wheel, with one hand on the steering wheel looking back with a smile on his face, facing my direction.
11:01 I saw a freestanding white clawfoot bathtub in a kitchen. (I’ve always wished I had one)
11:07 I dreamt that I was at some kind of basketball court and there was a boy in a wheelchair.
11:10 I saw a big white paper plate
11:11 I saw a small beach and I was on the grassy area.
11:12 I was in line at a cash register and I saw a lady at the till like at Costco, reaching for the next item and looked joyful.
11:15 I saw a tablecloth on a picnic table.
11:22 I woke up hearing these words of the song: “No matter where, no matter when, Lord I will go, where you want me to go. Holy Spirit fill me, overwhelm me. Holy Spirit use me for your glory. Here’s my life, let it be a living sacrifice. All that I am surrendered into Your hands. I surrender. Here I am Jesus let your will be done in me. All that I am surrendered into your hands. I surrender. I give it all, my heart and soul, Jesus I’m living for You. You have it all, my heart and soul, Jesus I’m living for you.”
Yesterday I watched the third “The Chosen” episodes and all the ones after that in that series. I hadn’t watched the last few. Yesterday my neighbours and Bella and I (Lucas was working) went to a neighbour lady’s house and asked to do her yard work and clean her windows, but she said she was good (didn’t want our help). So we stood on her driveway, chatting and eating the banana muffins I made. At least I was able to serve in that way.. I went to Shopgym this morning; bench presses. I lifted five more pounds this week, 80lbs! I’m looking forward to the North End Missions this weekend! Love and Blessings…
June 22: 1 Peter 2:19 (I’m hoping I got this right..) “For it is commendable if someone bears up under the pain of unjust suffering because they are conscious of God.”
4:3- till I’ll see you again… darling it won’t be long till all the trouble is gone. I always knew you could be like this, now you’re walking through the door… (I don’t remember the exact time)
6:08 in forever there’s another day.
6:25 In the shadow there’s another day. (In forever there’s another day) Love and Blessings always…
Our day went so well! I’m so fulfilled walking around the neighborhood with my group, inviting people to the bbq and praying with them at the bbq. There was an older lady in a wheelchair who had pain in her leg, her throat hurt, and she couldn’t talk very much. I asked if I could put my hand on her arm while I prayed and she nodded her head and grasped my hand tightly as I prayed, and she didn’t want to let go! I asked if she wanted to come to church where she could get more prayer and she said something about how she could get there, and I asked if she knew someone who could bring her. She looked at a young man who was sitting at the table with his partner, and I asked him if he could bring her to church and he nodded his head yes! So hopefully I’ll see them there tomorrow! I prayed with another lady who told me she has lumps in her breasts. She hasn’t gone to the doctor and I’m sensing she won’t go. She said she’s had them for awhile, so I don’t know really how long a person can live with cancer lumps. She said she knows it’s cancer, anyway, I prayed for complete healing for her. There were two other ladies another leader and I prayed for. Then at another table there was a man and two ladies that I asked to pray for. The man didn’t want prayer. I’m finding that when I make it simple and just ask if there’s anything I can pray for for them, they normally say yes, and that way we can begin talking about the deep stuff right away. It’s bugging me to say that there was one time where I know I should have chosen #13 but because it was a few “houses” down, I continued to go down the line, thinking I’d get there. Blessings… Another Double Rainbow!!!
11:13, 11:15 “And the angels cry, holy” (Song: And the angels cry holy – Jenn Johnson)
Before all time began, You had the perfect plan. To make us In the image of Yourself. Although we went astray, You even planned that day. On which You sent Your Son to pay the price.
You took on all the sins of the world And washed them all away, Bearing every curse upon that tree., We all cry holy, holy Holy is the Lord The angels cry holy, holy, Holy is the Lord
With all my future plans, They’re safe within Your hands, Far beyond my highest thoughts and prayers, With all my heart and soul, I’ll praise You and extol
The mighty God who holds me in His arms, You took on all the sins of the world And washed them all away, Bearing every curse upon that tree, We all cry holy, holy Holy is the Lord The angels cry holy, holy Holy is the Lord
We all cry holy, holy Holy is the Lord The angels cry holy, holy Holy is the Lord
You took on all the sins of the world And washed them all away, Bearing every curse upon that tree
We all cry holy, holy Holy is the Lord The angels cry holy, holy Holy is the Lord
We all cry holy, holy Holy is the Lord The angels cry holy, holy,
Holy is the Lord (Holy is the Lord), Holy is the Lord (Holy is the Lord) Holy is the Lord (Holy is the Lord) Holy is the Lord (Holy is the Lord) Holy is the Lord
June 23: 4:49 Sometimes I feel like a sailboat.
4:55 I’m not giving up, moving forward…
5:15 “I’m not giving up”
Watching “Lift” tonight..