“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” Galatians 5:1
Conversation
I love You Papa. I praise and worship You my King. I feel like I’m the richest woman alive! Thank-You for restoring my heart and filling it to the brim with Your Mighty-Power-to-Save, Love. I am Yours and You are mine.
Come My daughter, all is well with you. You are Mine and I love you.
Rest, I am near.
Papa, I’m a bit apprehensive, wondering if I’m going to make it this next time.. but I’m choosing to rest. I’m so thankful that every hardship I’ve had will not be wasted. Every one of them has been a stepping stone that sharpens my inner ear to hear Your voice, leading me to freedom. Thank-You for Your great work in my heart.
You’re welcome My faithful one. I love you.
Reflection
Hello and welcome to my Journal. Life in the valley can be very difficult, but we need to remember that God is always faithful. Right now I’m in a valley, being tested and pruned so that in God’s time I’ll be ready to walk out of this valley, Victorious! What I’ve been doing so I don’t stay in a place of despair is spending time with God and crying out to Him because I know He hears me and He loves me. I’m keeping on doing what He’s already asked me to do. I’m clinging onto hope because God is my firm foundation. God is faithful and I know that He will never let me down, and I’m going to stay faithful to Him. He has shown me His faithfulness more times than I can count, and I know His love through that. God gives me dreams and wakes me up at certain times. As you read my journal my hope is that even though I’m in a valley in my life, I hope you will be inspired to always keep your heart open to God no matter what’s going on in your life, because God is a God of Love and He always has a Good plan for our life. He knows how to lead us; we just need to trust Him and follow Him!
11:05 In my dream I saw some of our pastors sitting outside on chairs at small round tables like the Sidewalk Cafe. They were just sitting down and getting comfortable. (Okay Sidewalk Cafe, we’re on!!!)
11:19 “Extraordinary magic in you” (Yay!!!)
11:25 “She has showed me what true love is.” (Wow, God is so Good…)
4:04 “Leave behind, so much more to say. We’ll have time, tomorrow there’s another day.”
4:22 Papa I love You.
I love you My darling.
4:26 Papa, help me to always be ready.
4:34 I will help you. I have something for you today.”
4:52 Papa, I’m ready. I’ve gotten up and I’m ready.
4:54 “Come My darling.”
4:56 I trust You
5:00 So I don’t have to be the strongest. You are perfect in my weakness.
5:01 Papa, I’ve needed to be the stronger one all this time.
5:05 Come, My dear one. I will provide.
5:07 Papa, You are my Provider.
I Am
5:09 Come
5:11 I worship You Papa. You are the King of my heart. Help me follow You wherever You go.
5:13/14 I will help you My faithful one. You are Mine.
5:20 Come. Rest.
5:23 Open my eyes. Show me who You want me to be Lord. Help me see.
Always
5:37 I love You Papa!
I love you My darling, let’s go!
8:54 In my prayer time, kneeling by my bed, in my dream I saw myself with my pink workout shirt on, sitting in the back of a motorbike, looking at me and smiling. The song that was playing was, “what You could do with me. I don’t have to be the strongest. Cause You are perfect in my weakness. Lord if You can move a mountain with faith like the grain of mustard seed. I wonder what You could do with me.”
9:10 I laid down for a bit and I dreamt that I saw a woman (from the side) signing a paper that was on a high (round?) table.
Last Wednesday Bella and I were driving into the city for her ortho appointment, it had been a nice and sunny day but as we were driving into the city we could see that we were driving into a really big storm; the clouds were so dark. I believe this also represents that I was driving into a storm in my heart because I resisted. God has restored my heart. I’m going to visit my mom this afternoon. Today at Shopgym our workout was: 50 dumbbell box step-ups (15lbs each hand); 40 box jumps; 30 dumbbell thrusters (15 lbs per side-30lbs). I’m really craving coffee!!! Love and Blessings…❤️🔥
July 6: 4:16 “You are perfect in my weakness.”
4:40/41 ..faith like a mustard seed, I wonder what You could do with me..
4:42 Come My darling
4:43/44 yes Papa…
4:44 you are Mine and I love you
4:47 Open my eyes. Show me who You want me to be Lord.
4:49 I don’t have to be the strongest. You are perfect in my weakness.
4:51 I worship You Papa.. I love You with all my heart. I am Your daughter, made in Your image, and You have a perfect plan for my life. I worship You Papa. You are leading me in Your plans and I trust in You Papa, Jesus.
4:56 I love you My darling. What you’re saying is true; I have a perfect plan for you, for your life. Come and follow Me, and I will make you a fisher of man.
4:58 Yes Papa, I actually love being on stage and I love talking about You (I just need to learn how to talk about You). Help me work on my testimony, because I have so much to say about You.
5:01 I will help you declares the Lord God Almighty.
5:02 “I don’t have to be the strongest. You are perfect in my weakness. If You can move a mountain with faith like a mustard seed.. I wonder what You could do with me. Open my eyes. Show me who You want me to be Lord..
5:07 Come before Me, My daughter. You are Mine.
5:08 Papa, I love You. You are so good to me! I worship You and I’m in such awe of You.
5:09 Come
5:10 I’m coming…help me please…
5:11 Always, My faithful one
5:16 Papa, more of You and less of me
5:18 I trust You Papa
5:24 if you could move a mountain with faith like a mustard seed, I wonder what You could do, with me
5:26 My daughter, arise, I have called you blessed
5:38 Come My faithful one, it’s time for the harvest. Ripe. Plentiful, but the workers are few.
5:42 Papa, I want to be one of those workers..
5:44 I am Yours Papa
5:52 I had a picture of our old coffee grinder
5:55 Come My daughter, time
Yes Papa, I’m coming, Please help me come…
Always My daughter
5:58 Create in me, a heart that is clean, cause I want to go, where You want me to go. Holy Spirit use me. Overwhelm me. For Your glory. Take my life, let it be a living sacrifice. All that I am, surrendered into Your hand. I surrender. I give it all, my heart and soul, Jesus I’m living for You. You have it all, my heart and soul, Jesus I’m living for You.
6:10/11 I dreamt there was a huge crowd of people that had gathered to hear someone speak at a place like a gas station or community building. It had a big room but not nearly big enough for the number of people that had come. I had a picture of many people outside, trying to listen to the speaker. Then I saw a tall boy with beige shorts on, walking towards the building with big strides.
6:31 “You have it all, my heart and soul, Jesus I’m living for You, Jesus I’m living for You Lord.”
6:34 I wasn’t really asleep but I had a vision or dream about two children who were sitting at a table, and I heard the little boy saying, “do you want to know something?” The voice was so cute! I think they must have been around 4 or 5 years old.
6: It was the beginning of a night at church and I walked towards what reminds me of the sound board (just outside of the room). On the table was a box that had about 3 or 4 small brown Bibles. I went and took one, and as I was walking towards the opened doorway to the room, I saw Jesus coming with his guitar. There was a column or something there, and he was on the other side of it, walking towards me so I couldn’t see all of him and I knew he couldn’t see all of me. Then as he was walking towards me I walked through the doorway and into the room, feeling shy, knowing he could see all of me by now. -staying transparent
In this dream we had two dogs, German shepherd’s. They were in the living room, male and female, and they were play-fighting together. I had been on the floor but was getting up. Then I was in the main room of the house with my kids, and their dad, Jesus was coming into the main room. One of the dogs had done something she wasn’t supposed to do and she was feeling bad about it, so she had her paw on the doorknob, kind of peeking into the room we were in; her and the other dog were in the living room. The doorknob was a bit crooked. I heard Lucas scold her and I said something about not scolding her because she already felt bad about it. When I said this I sensed my husbands heart soften; he had been planning on scolding her. Then I told him that the other dog was in the room too (what does the other dog represent?). I’m going to do my best and know that every step is a step closer to God/Jesus… I need You Papa, Jesus… please draw me closer to Your heart..
8:48 “Show me who you are and fill me with your love and lead me, in your love to those around me.”
9:08 “Show me who you are and fill me with your love and lead me, in your love to those around me.”
I dreamt that it was dark out and I had been at my grandmas house (vaguely sensing it was dark green). Then I was in the back alley a few houses down from there. I was talking with a very poor family, a mom and maybe her kids. I stepped into the place where they lived, like an open garage, and helped them in some way. Then I wanted to help them again in the coming days ahead and as I was leaving I said I’d count how many houses there were in between theirs and my grandmas to know which house was theirs. I was planning to visit them during the day, and planning to walk there from the front. Then I was going to go back to my grandmas house, and I when I looked down the back alley I couldn’t find it anywhere. Then I walked to the other back alley (which was right there because I was at the corner), and I couldn’t see it there either. Then I walked to the other one again and all I saw were the back yards of businesses.
I had a dream where a few of us were behind someone’s house and we wanted to pour oil into the pipe of the house (like when an engine needs oil). There was a pipe high up and the person I was with began pouring the oil into it (I saw the pipe move a bit when she started pouring in the oil). I was a bit hesitant because I didn’t know if the pipe was broken or not, and when I looked down I saw that the pipe was broken so the oil poured out onto the ground and into water that was on the ground. I’m not sure what this dream represents. I’m sensing it could represent me pouring oil (when I witness for Christ) into other people. I guess I’m never sure if what I’m doing is really effective. If the house represents me, I’m praying that the Holy Spirit will continue to do his work in me because I don’t know how to fix it.
In this dream Lucas wanted to stay longer at a house by himself and watch a movie after we had gone. At first I thought it was okay and would be fun to have a little time of independence in that house (I saw a stairway leading up into the second floor, reminding me of the north end campus), but then I thought it wasn’t a good idea because of the danger that was nearby. I had seen someone across the street with a black hoodie on, walking into the place they lived by the back alley. So I didn’t like the idea of him being there on his own.
This next dream is so vague that I’m not even sure I should write about it. I was in a hurry with some others to either drive away or fly away and not bring something along, before some other people found out. The people I was with were on the plane already, waiting for me, and I needed to hurry to catch up with them. There was something about me leaving something behind (like three round tokens), and when the other person (feeling like this was a big person) would find out about it, it would be too late because we would already have left. This dream is so confusing; I can’t make sense of it, feeling like it’s a flesh dream. So I’m just going to disregard it.
Thinking about all that the Lord is doing lately, about going into the north end and learning to witness and share my testimony is a bit overwhelming. But as I’m doing this, God is filling my heart with a deep satisfaction, like I was created to do this. And the thing is that I know that I’m created to do this. I’ve learned in my journey of restoration with Jesus that my heart has a mind of its own, and I’m hoping it’s not planning to “fly” away from anything the Holy Spirit has accomplished in my heart (taking responsibility for watering the seeds that have been planted in those who I witnessed to.). Today we were enjoying the sunshine (before the rain) in the hammocks on the patio, reading. I’m going to try and finish my marriage book this coming week. It makes sense that the first part in following Jesus is knowing that Jesus wants to be with me, and I’m knowing this more now in my heart… ❤️🔥☀️
July 7 : 3:42 Here’s my life Lord all of me, I surrender everything.
3:53 We were kids back then, we’d live forever…
4:04 Extraordinary magic, in you
4:07 Believe
4:17 Come
4:18 I love you Papa
4:19 I love you too
4:34 I see it, I see it, I swear I do I see extraordinary magic, in you…
4:37 Simon? (I was going to fall asleep)
4:40 I’m coming Papa
4:43 …look into your eyes I see it, I see it,
4:44 Come My darling. I’m waiting here for you…
Yes Jesus, I’m coming…
4:49 I was praying in the spirit when I saw a picture of someone taking a huge leap, several stories high.
4:57 Papa please forgive me for sleeping. I worship You with all my heart.”
I know you do, come, I forgive you.
5:02 Come
I’m coming… help me
5:05 Always
Papa, take me to the next level with You. I want to know Your heart.
5:07 Come,
5:14 I saw a hand reaching high up on top of a shelf and getting scissors.
Papa
Come, rest, all is well with you
5:20 Papa, I worship You with all my heart.
5:21 I know you do, come my darling, you are mine.
5:22 Yes Papa
5:23 Free
Free Papa?
5:24 Free, my daughter. I have set you free. You are Mine.
5:25 Oh Papa, I love You.
5:27 Welcome My daughter. Welcome home. Be at rest, for I am with you always.
5:34 Go to sleep My daughter, all is well with you. You are Mine and I love you.
5:35/36 okay Papa thankyou. You are mine
5:37 and I love You…
5:40 …miracles happen (I heard this earlier too)
8:08 Here’s my life Lord all of me, I surrender everything.
8:21 I leave my heart open, open for you. I’m holding back nothing, nothing from You. Take my life and let it be, a holy offering.
I can hardly believe that I just walked right on by the two open chairs (in the pastors front row) when I heard the Holy Spirit say “here.” ( I sensed the Holy Spirit saying to sit in the front row where the pastors sit when we were waiting at the lights to turn onto the church parking lot.) Then as Lucas and I were in the front row, I sensed the Holy Spirit again saying “it’s not too late” so I told Lucas to follow me and sat beside Mary in the pastors side front row.
Even though I walked past initially, I listened to the Holy Spirit when He said it’s not too late, and I introduced myself to her and her husband (the pastor who spoke today) at the end, sensing to do that. So even though it felt like I missed the opportunity, I ended up following, overcoming resistance when Lucas and the person on the other side of me said something about staying where I was. Also needing the person (Mary) to make room for me/us. In my dream Jesus’s heart softened.. does this mean that I made it? I’m so thankful for God’s patients and loving care.. I really really love you Jesus!! ❤️🔥❤️🔥