“It was not by their sword that they won the land, nor did their arm bring them victory; it was Your hand, Your arm, and the light of Your face, for You loved them. You are my King and my God, who decrees victories for Jacob.” Psalm 44:3,4
Conversation
My Papa, I love You so much. I worship You with all my heart and I praise and honour You with my life. Here I am Papa, I’m ready to follow You completely.
I love you My dear one. You are Mine forever.
Papa, thankYou for loving me passionately and that You pursue me with all Your heart. I am honoured to be called Your daughter.
You are Mine -declares the Lord.
I know Papa that with You all things are possible; my heart is at rest. I believe I finally know Your love Jesus… I’m so thankful that I get to be your bride, the bride of Christ.
Come, My darling. The stage is set -you belong, with Me.
Papa, Jesus, I run to You with open arms. Help me to understand and sense Your presence so I can follow You. I’m so desperate to follow You!!!
Then come My faithful one; I will give you rest.
Reflection
Hello and welcome to my Journal. Life in the valley can be very difficult, but we need to remember that God is always faithful. Right now I’m in a valley, being tested and pruned so that in God’s time I’ll be ready to walk out of this valley, Victorious! What I’ve been doing so I don’t stay in a place of despair is spending time with God and crying out to Him because I know He hears me and He loves me. I’m keeping on doing what He’s already asked me to do. I’m clinging onto hope because God is my firm foundation. God is faithful and I know that He will never let me down, and I’m going to stay faithful to Him. He has shown me His faithfulness more times than I can count, and I know His love through that. God gives me dreams and wakes me up at certain times. As you read my journal my hope is that even though I’m in a valley in my life, I hope you will be inspired to always keep your heart open to God no matter what’s going on in your life, because God is a God of Love and He always has a Good plan for our life. He knows how to lead us; we just need to trust Him and follow Him!
July 12:3:59 “it’s gonna be okay, it’s gonna be alright. Standing here with you. You give me Your grace.”
4:10 You give me Your grace..
4:41 My daughter
Papa
Come
I’m trying
4:55 Papa help me
I will always help you
5:04 My faithful one, come, you can do this. All things are possible with me.
5:09 Papa I worship You. I love You, and I’m coming.
5:14 My daughter, rest.
Okay, I’m choosing to rest
5:16 Come
I will come
5:20 Come
5:24 Papa I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.
Absolutely!
5:44 I love you my darling
I love You too Papa. I’m so thankful for Your love…
8:02 I had a quick dream where a man was wearing some kind of beach shirt (as I looked down at his sleeve, I think I saw it was made of tiny little sea shells), and he was selling something to me for $5.00 -I heard him say 5, as in $5.00.
8:07 I dreamt about tanning; there was a man who had a sun tan and I had my arm beside his to compare our tans. We were outside in the sun.
8:11 “lost hope” I dreamt there was a black box with an open mouth in the middle, and I saw very bright white human teeth but more square and even.
8:20 I dreamt about our driveway, and an opening was created for the wheelbarrow to go out of the driveway; right now there’s wood all around the driveway so that the cement can be poured. A section of it by the door was taken apart so that the wheelbarrow could be rolled out.
Earlier I had seen a baby’s face inside something round, like how people can create cute photos by inserting images into things; my dream reminds me of a baby inside some flower pedals.
8:44 Your love, your love, your love never ending oh, oh. You are all I need, your love has set me free. You are alive in me…
8:52 I saw Jesus with a light blue vest or life jacket on, ready to jump in. He was in front of me (I saw his back) and kind of to the side. Light blue reminds me of several things: in a dream years ago I dreamt I had the most beautiful light blue gown on, looking at a room that reminds me of the Youth room, seeing many colours all around the room. The dress was the most comfortable dress I had ever worn and fit me exactly; it was made just for me:). The word Bella put onto the piece of wood she painted blue was “Oceans.” She drew a starfish and another seashell on it.
9:15 In this dream something had happened and investigators came to where we were living, a community house. They wanted everyone to come out and talk with them. The ones who were the witnesses needed to come to the front (in front of the others) and talk with them. I think there were three of us (or a few of us) who were witnesses. We had been inside and were now walking outside. I sensed someone (my friend) who was a witness walk ahead of me, and Sarena was also walking a few feet away and had a camera in her hand -sensing she was taking photos. Then I saw her crouch down in front of a bit of a ditch (I’m sensing we could have been on some kind of road that was in front of the grassy area, which goes up a bit from the field/grassy area, so it may not have been a ditch) taking a photo, and I kept on walking. I had a thumb drive in my hand that was also a camera, and I had a thought to take a photo of her taking a photo of something, but this was a quick thought as I kept on walking towards the person who was behind the small square table that we needed to go see. I walked up to the person and said that I was one of the witnesses. He was unassuming, not knowing me, and as he was looking at the paper he saw my name there and asked, “are you Carolyn?” I said “yes, I’m Carolyn.” This makes me think that I need to have my name on the paper, signed up for baptism? (I am a witness to what God has done in my life).
9:50 I dreamt there was a group of us talking to people outside; could represent Sidewalk Cafe. I’ve also realized in the last week that the address of the North End Campus adds up to 14. I’m volunteering at the World Cafe on Sunday. This morning I opened up my Bible to the verses above. Love and blessings…
July 13: 12:29 I dreamt that someone had a computer inside his brain, meaning he was very smart.
1:23 When I see you again, darling it won’t be long till all the trouble is gone; till I see you again…
Won’t let fear talk me out of your love for me, won’t let doubt talk me out of, your love for me.
Feeling hopeless because I was so tired that I didn’t get up shortly after six when God woke me up. I kept falling asleep because of how tired I was. I dreamt about many things, not remembering much of it.
I was sleeping in a car as someone was driving it. My feet were in the front and my head was in the back and I had blankets over me. We had stopped maybe at a stop sign and I saw someone standing there, looking into our car. I was thankful that the doors were locked.
Another dream where there were deep footprints that I was stepping into. It was a bit difficult but I was stepping into them.
Another dream where I was with some kids and we had gone into something like a public bathroom. They were on this thing that had water pipes. I don’t think we were supposed to be in there because the water pipes were beginning to burst at about three places, causing water to spray out. Then I said we better leave that place.
Another dream where a group of us were handing out leggings (for running) to the younger generation, teens. I was standing beside my car and I got leggings out, folding them quickly and gave them to someone who was going to begin their journey. I had another pair that I quickly got from the back seat of the car, quickly folding them and giving them to her. I compared how nicely another persons folding was and mine was so messy (because I had folded them so quickly) compared to theirs. I had worn the ones that I was giving away so mine weren’t completely fresh/new. I also had a thought that when someone gave me mine, they were also so nicely folded and were new, and what I was giving wasn’t like that and I felt low because of it. But the person receiving them didn’t seem to notice and was thankful for them.
I also dreamt that I had washed and dried my laundry but I had forgotten to fold my laundry as soon as it was done so it was all wrinkled in a basket. I felt so disappointed and thought I’d just rewet it and dry it again (last night I had put a load of towels on top of the dryer, not folding them. Normally I fold things right away but I was too tired to fold them last night). Right at the end before I woke up I heard the word cute, and then I heard my husband say the word beautiful, and I knew he was saying that to me. I also dreamt that I looked through a window (with Bella) and I saw the starting of a rainbow… this gives me hope! I think I’m going to go run outside around the fifth estates this morning.. I don’t know if Im going to miss something tomorrow, but I’m going to press into the Lord today.. ❤️🔥
I forgot to write that I dreamt I had a purse within a purse, and they were brown. I had just finished paying for something and was putting my smaller purse inside my bigger purse and the lady wondered about it. I just said it like it was and that was that. I dreamt last night that I had a thumb drive in my hand; As I was running this morning I sensed the Lord giving me directions, so I began writing them down. I don’t know if I was hearing them all right, and there were times where I wasn’t sure so I would keep going and praying as I was going, and then I felt to go back onto certain streets. I must have looked weird but hey, that’s me:) So because I had a thumb drive in my hand in my dream, I recorded where I went. I actually like running that way because I had no set plan for where I was going to run. I’m sensing to sit where I sat last Sunday… my left knee is a bit swollen, I’m not sure why. I don’t eat sugar or other junk food at home, unless it’s a special occasion or sometimes on Sunday, but then only a little -and at church. Goodnight… Love and Blessings….
July 14: 3:48 My daughter come. Rise up. You are Mine.
Papa, I’m coming! Help me see and help me come!
3:54/55My daughter, you are Mine and I love you.
3:57 Papa, I can only come when my heart is ready, and my heart can only be ready through Your work in my heart. I will try again today Papa. Please Help me Holy Spirit.
4:00 I will help you My daughter.
4:01 I kept my heart open, open to You. Take my life and let it be, a Holy offering.
4:03 Papa, I know that You are near and that I am not alone.
4:04 I am with you always My daughter. Come, you are Mine.
I believe You Papa.
4:34 Come My daughter, it’s time.
Papa, I know that You want me to come. I trust in You to show me the way to come. I want to come Papa, Jesus, with all my heart. I am Yours and You are Mine today.
4:41 Rest
4:49 Rest My daughter, I hear You.
5:02 I love You Papa, and I want to honour You today. I know that all things are possible with You and that You will bring things to completion. Nothing can stop You from doing Your will, and I’m so glad. All things work together for good, for those who love You, and I do love You with all my heart. I love Your plans and purpose for my life. Help me to walk in them today.
5:08 I will help you My faithful one. Rest, you are Mine this day.
5:11 Papa, Your peace has filled my heart. There is nothing I can’t do when You are with me.
5:18 “You make all things new. From the ashes, I will rise up, rise up.”
Dreamt I was in the CN Tower, way up high and I saw a person putting their hand on the window, a bit afraid of the height. Then in my more conscious mind I pictured the top begin to break, which would be my worst nightmare.
5:56 “Praise the Lord, oh my soul. Praise the Lord, oh my soul. My God is with me I know He’s alive, how could I keep it inside..”
6:23 I was sitting at a table for two and I saw something shimmer, floating in the air. I saw that it was a small fish, and saw that it was transparent. I put my hand out to cup it into my hand and I saw it was actually true! It was a real fish! I had it in the palm of my hand. I knew it had been in water on the floor. I was so excited!!! (Someone caught me!!!❤️🔥
6:33 Someone walked to the big window in the bedroom that was my bedroom in the dream, and opened up the curtains and let the sunshine in!!!
7:38 in a restaurant saw a straw. Something was said about the fourth.
I was walking a little boy up to where he lived. His room number was 114. At first I was doing something with some kids and he was standing on my left. I didn’t know him very well and I asked him something or said something to him. Then I put my arms around him and held him close to me; he had his face snuggled in the hook of my arm. I had a sweater on so he was snuggling his face in my sweater, and he stayed there for a long time, not moving. I asked the person on the other side of me to see if he was alright so they bent down to see his face and saw that he was alright. Then all of a sudden he wanted to go home so I said I’d hold his hand and take him home. I wasn’t sure if he knew where his home was and then he said that his room number was 114. Then he had already walked up on some wooden stairs going up that looked like they were falling apart. I could see through the cracks that underneath was a very deep crevice. He had walked on it and was safe, waiting for me on the landing which was right there on my right, next to the short set of stairs (I sensed there were other people there too, waiting there for me). I stepped onto the stairs that almost broke and beside it there was a sturdy landing and I sat on it quickly, just in time before everything else broke. I made it and I was so deeply relieved!!! I’m wondering if this is for the baptism Sunday?
In this short dream I missed my Shopgym class because I hadn’t realized something, but sensing it was okay and it was a good day off. A small scene where Chrystal my Shopgym coach sat close to me but didn’t say anything. Then she got up and walked away.
I think the sweater I was wearing was navy blue, and it was thick. About the two purses, I think the smaller one was brown. I bought two new dresses, the white one and a brownish one that also fits Bella. So I think she’ll be happy to wear it and I’ll wear my white one…