“The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not be in want.” Psalm 23:1
Conversation
Papa, I love You so much and I’m so desperate for You!
Come My daughter, rest, all is well with you. You are Mine. Carolyn, I have a word for you today; all is well with you.
Thank-You for Your grace Papa; I need it so much!
Come My darling, be at rest.
(Sensing “a city on a hill cannot be hidden.) “You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden.” Matthew 5:14 Yup, I was the perfect display of a desperate housewife!
Be at rest
Papa, I’m choosing to rest.
Come, lets walk forward.
Okay. Thank-You Papa, I love You
I love you my darling.
Reflection
Hello and welcome to my Journal. Life in the valley can be very difficult, but we need to remember that God is always faithful. Right now I’m in a valley, being tested and pruned so that in God’s time I’ll be ready to walk out of this valley, Victorious! What I’ve been doing as I’m waiting is spending time with God and keeping on doing what He’s already asked me to do. I’m clinging onto hope because God is my firm foundation. God is faithful and I know that He will never let me down, and I’m going to stay faithful to Him. He has shown me His faithfulness all the time and I know His love through that. God gives me dreams and wakes me up at certain times. As you read my journal my hope is that even though I’m in a valley in my life, I hope you will be inspired to always keep your heart open to God no matter what’s going on in your life, because God is a God of Love and He always has a Good plan for our life. He knows how to lead us; we just need to trust Him and follow Him! Very often God draws my heart to Him through love songs! My love for God/Jesus keeps on growing as I continue to pursue Him. During the night God wakes me up at certain times with either a word from Him and/or a dream. So here’s my journal entry for today..
10:31 “I sought the Lord and He heard, and He answered. I sought the Lord, and He heard, and He answered. That’s why I trust Him, that’s why I trust Him!”
10:35 I had a vague dream that I took a big bite out of something; I needed to open my mouth really wide in order to take a bite, and I felt my mouth do this motion slightly as it was happening in my dream. I’m wondering if this represents me singing with all my heart, opening my mouth wide as I sang these last two Sundays..
10:43 “The couch, the couch.” I saw a newly built frame (house) with arched windows and door. The frame was up and some plywood (I think) for the outside walls; I saw the light brown wood and could see it was a big and beautiful house. I could see that inside, all the frames were up too.
10:50 A family was just about to begin walking on a trail together; they were close to the trees.
10:54 Someone was talking with someone about God.
10:58 “All the above” I saw a green squiggly line forming a squiggly circle, reminding me of where I walked in the foyer. This could also represent the corn maze… I’ll make sure to go in the maze.
11:02 “Here” I had a vague picture that I was cleaning the dog. This Thursday she has an appointment at the vet and I’ll be washing her at a place here in town, across from the dance studio.
11:06 “signing up” I was with a group of people and it felt like they were signing up or someone was signing up.
11:09 I have faith that God is going to help me
11:11 “I trust in God, my Saviour the One, who will never fail. He will never fail.”
11:15 “I trust in God.”
11:17 I dreamt that it was the end of a school day and someone, maybe a parent, was picking up their daughter from school.
11:20 I dreamt that I was about to go into a health food store.
11:23 Someone was pouring brown ointment out of a bottle. I had a feeling or knowing that it was for a persons face because that person had been mauled by a dog.
11:27 someone was coming over and hamburgers were being made.
11:28 cleaning cooking utensils. I saw a bit of food on a long wooden stir spoon as I was washing it in the sink under running water I think.
11:30 I was coming into an office, following someone into an office area.
11:33 cleaning a pot
11:38 my mission
11:39 “I hope and I pray “
11:43 “Favour with God and man”
11:58 “This (auto correct so I don’t know what I had written)
11:59 I know you won’t let me go, you’ll never let me go..”
12:10 I saw a blue box with a picture of two wine glasses
4:20 “I know you won’t, you won’t let me go…”
5:35 “My daughter, rest.” “Come, you are Mine.”
5:44 “I will be still, know You are God.”
6:12 I saw a bride with her white dress on. She was about the neighbours house/distance away.
6:20 “right by his side” Ephesians 6:20? “..for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should.” (19: “Pray also for me, that whenever I open my mouth, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel..”)
6:27 My passport lady
6:29 I was on a white concrete platform that had stairs going down and a deep ditch on the right side. Heard the word help, to help.
6:36 I saw two people carrying a stack of long light brown 2X4’s or something, over their shoulder; they were beginning to build.
6:39 by your side
I had another picture of people carrying a load of wood for building.
6:43 This love is a band of gold
6:49 Snapping a green dish cloth and folding it to dry, like washing dishes was done. (We use green disposable dish cloths.)
6:52 Pastor A was talking and laughing like he was recalling a special moment in front of a group.
7:56 “231” (I was going to use verse 5 but then I remembered this; I’m not sure if this is why I dreamt it but this is how I feel, that the Lord really is and has become my Shepherd whom I trust.)
I was in the passenger back seat on the right side, somehow driving (I didn’t see any steering wheel or pedals or anything). I was on my street and had just stopped at the stop sign in front of Main street. I saw my two cousins at the corner, feeling like they had just crossed the street. She saw me in the car and said to her sister, “oh look!” She was excited to see me and I imagined her pointing to me (because I couldn’t see them very well). I tried opening the window to say hi and to let her into the car to give her a ride but the door wouldn’t open and the windows wouldn’t open. The windows were foggy. Then I was turning left to drive onto mainstreet but I was so drowsy and lightheaded that I couldn’t get myself to look right to see if a car was coming. Then when I was on main street the car began sliding to the side and I woke up. (Her name means, “God is my oath.”) I’m sensing that if she represents Jesus my husband then God reassuring me that He will help me and He will keep His promises)
7:29 Sensing hands; seeing someone’s wet hand limp at their side. I’m wondering whose hand this is? I’m going to pray into it. I’m taking Jesus’ hand… After school today it was pouring rain outside so Lucas came home very wet. About an hour ago we took everything out of his backpack (everything was wet) so my hand was a bit wet. I put his backpack into the dryer and he put his stuff back in.
7:41 Someone said something about country music
7:51 I saw a young lady with long brown hair sitting on the floor. She had pants and nice earrings on and looked very nice, well kept and presentable. Do I need to get new earrings. My ears are sensitive so I only wear gold/white gold, and I only have the ones I have on right now.
7:57 I had gone downstairs and then I was being led up, hearing “come,” as we were taking the last few steps up to the floor. ( I believe this represents that I was a bit discouraged, but now I’m up again..)
8:05 I saw some white big sheets of paper rolled up on the floor near a doorway. I’m going to paint this week..
8:15 Feeling like I was on a jet.
9:14 I saw someone wearing a white dress facing church on the south side. I’m thinking this means that I need to wear my white dress next Sunday.. I have hopes about what it could mean.
9:23 “How are you both going to fit something in there?” I saw an open backpack and someone was putting papers in it; sensing Jesus and I were sharing a backpack and we were going somewhere together.
9:31 “I remember the day” There were two people laughing together while they were eating broccoli. Part of it had already been eaten and I saw someone cut a big chunk off (at the top) to eat, seeing the knife cut through it. Yesterday I had cooked broccoli; there were left-overs so I ate them this evening. Two days ago I made “Crock of Savoury Vegetable Stew and biscuits. I made banana muffins today.
9:36 In this dream I saw strawberries in strawberry jam and was going to spread it on bread or toast I think. I’ve been thinking about making a recipe that has a jam in it, so I’ll buy the strawberry jam. Maybe I’ll bring it to church to share… I don’t know if it will count.
12:27 I saw a big yellow tractor (reminds me of an army tank, the middle of it) of some sort, parking in front of a building, and then a light bright blue smaller vehicle parked right beside it, on the right side; it could have been a motorcycle. I didn’t see the blue motorcycle clearly because I was on the left side of the yellow tractor and the motorcycle parked on the right of it, so it was hidden. Does this mean I need to sit on the right side of someone?
1:31 I saw spilled food on the table; I had spilled some of my food. I saw green vegetables -green beans. I had laid down to rest, feeling tired. After this dream I got up and spent time with God. I have found hope again, but I’m feeling like I’m such a mess because I didn’t offer my danish and because I stepped onto the first step, feeling afterwards that this was disrespectful, feeling like a child.
Today in my Bible study time I randomly flipped to Isaiah 13:7 and was amazed that it said “all hands will go limp.” Before this verse it says that God is near.. I know that God is good and that He is able to lead me to know how to follow him. I believe that I now know it deeper in my heart that Jesus really does love me. When I hear the song, “Band of Gold,” I can actually picture Jesus singing it to me and it’s really comforting and powerful. My kiddos are babysitting for New Comers Lunch on Sunday.. I’m coming… love and blessings…❤️🔥
September 17,12:15 In this dream Lucas and I were in the back of a bus; the bus was as short as a van. I noticed that the road was very slippery and had dreamt about slipping, so I was worried about it. Looking ahead I saw a semi truck on its side, sliding on the road. We were coming to a corner and then I noticed we didn’t have seat belts on. I told him several times to put his seatbelt on because the road was dangerous. Then we began to slide and was preparing myself that I would crash into someone. I had put on my seatbelt and I think Lucas had put his on. Then we stopped and I lifted the curtain to see if the semi truck had started to move. I saw that it was right in front of me and that we were overlapping. The back of the truck began coming down like a dump truck and I needed to move the bus over a bit so that the semi wouldn’t come down on us. So I moved it over just far enough so that the corner of the truck wouldn’t be on top of us, with my hands, just in time. It was like I stayed in the same spot but moved my legs over a bit. I didn’t see the van I was in; in my dream I just sensed something vaguely around us.
4:13 This love is a band of gold
5:03 This love is a band of gold
5:20 This love is a band of gold
6:07 I dreamt that we were living in my mom’s house and I saw a round table that had a few things on it, including a few plants (I saw the green). There was a purple lamp with big dark purple or black (I’m not sure) flowers imprinted on it right at the front and it was blocking our view of the plants. I went and moved it to the back, behind the plants. I noticed how beautiful the plants were. At first I had a thought that we didn’t have any plants and then I remembered that we were in my mom’s house. Then I saw that she had many plants. Then we were walking together and she was excited about her plants and she told me the plant she wanted to get next. I’m going to buy a plant today. I had many plants when we lived on Noble Ave, but when we moved to this house I didn’t bring any along. I’m not sure what happened to them. I haven’t gotten any plants while living in this house because there hasn’t been a good place for them, though on the kitchen counter there’s a spot. The living room is always so dark; I’ll need to open up the curtains more. The round table in my dream had another lamp, a white one that was in the back already, behind the plants. There was a glass that was shaped in an artistic design that was laying on the table (I need to paint: we always tape the paper onto glass before we paint). It could also represent transparency.
There was a scene where my family and I were in a bedroom that had two beds (hotel maybe). The night before I noticed that when my kids dad did something with the blanket on his bed, one of my socks was sticking onto his blanket. So in the morning I had one of the socks (it had a light blue stripe at the top), and I was wondering where my other one was (He said he didn’t know where the other one was.) I remembered that I had seen the sock by his blanket the night before so I went there and found it. Then I showed both socks to him, showing that both socks had the light, bright blue stripe on them, and that I had found it.
Then there was a scene where we were in a van. I was sitting in the passenger seat and our kids were in the back. Then I saw that the bad guy was making a very sharp turn, driving around a rounded wall (cliff). I was alarmed because I knew that he was going to do something bad to us and parked there because no one could see us there. Then it was pitch black and I immediately opened the door to get out (I had a thought about the kids), but then I heard his voice ordering me not to leave. I looked towards his direction and even though it was pitch black I could tell that he had a gun pointing to my face. So I said I wouldn’t leave. Then my young daughter was asking for me and came into my arms, needing something, and I gave her my attention.
In this scene I was trying to climb a long set of stairs. I felt so heavy and could barely climb one step at a time and sunk down on them and against the wall for support. A mom and her young daughters climbed the stairs beside me on my left, and I apologized or said something about it being difficult for me. They kind of smiled and walked up. I saw that the stairs had rounded edges so the surface area of each step wasn’t very big. I think this shows how difficult it’s been to follow.
8:01 (This was after I recognized what my dreams meant and I did some spiritual ware-fare and declared again for a divine shift. I had gotten up just after 6 and I wrote down my dreams and prayed afterwards.)In my dream I was holding a bag of chips, dark green, opening the bag; it had been crinkled shut because we had already eaten from it before. It was a big bag and reminds me of the Tortilla chips we eat when we have nachos -we normally only make nachos for when we watch a movie. I think this just represents the opening up to reveal what’s in my heart, I think.
8:04 In my dream I was in my house (not actual), by the kitchen table. There were two little girls sitting at the table and an older child I think. I heard my girls’ voices as they were talking. It felt like they were eating breakfast. It was a nice family time…
8:09 Bella was sitting on a chair and had shorts on I think; I saw a dark green T-shirt on her lap and that she was holding. Then I saw another dark green T-shirt on her lap that was more hidden. She was saying something about basketball. I’m not sure what this means..
Right before getting up to help my kids get ready for school I had a quick picture of seeing a bag of big marshmallows. This morning I set a date to go for coffee with the lady who I used to do Crossfit with. I’m going to Costco right after writing this… Yesterday it rained so much here! There was also a tornado warning. The thunder sounded so amazing and so Holy.. Goodnight, love and blessings…🫶🏻