“Let this be written for a future generation, that a people not yet created may praise the Lord.” Psalm 102:18
Conversation
Papa, I love You. Thank-You for Your passionate love. Thank-You for my husband, thank-You for my children and thank-You for my friends. Help me to be all that I can be for You and for them.
I love you My darling -you are Mine.
Papa, do You have a word for me today?
I love you.
Papa, I’m soaking in Your love. “Come find me.” (I heard this in my heart. Psalm 1:1 “Hear my prayer, O Lord; let my cry for help come to you.”
I am near, My faithful one.
Papa, I’m pressing in and moving forward, following You. Our journey has taken many seasons and many years, but You are my life and there’s nothing else to do that I want to do besides follow You; it’s the most rewarding life I could ever live, Merci.
You’re welcome My darling. Rest, all is well with you. You are Mine.
Reflection
Hello and welcome to my Journal. Life in the valley can be very difficult, but we need to remember that God is always faithful. Right now I’m in a valley, being tested and pruned so that in God’s time I’ll be ready to walk out of this valley, Victorious! What I’ve been doing as I’m waiting is spending time with God and keeping on doing what He’s already asked me to do. I’m clinging onto hope because God is my firm foundation. God is faithful and I know that He will never let me down, and I’m going to stay faithful to Him. He has shown me His faithfulness all the time and I know His love through that. God gives me dreams and wakes me up at certain times. As you read my journal my hope is that even though I’m in a valley in my life, I hope you will be inspired to always keep your heart open to God no matter what’s going on in your life, because God is a God of Love and He always has a Good plan for our life. He knows how to lead us; we just need to trust Him and follow Him! Very often God draws my heart to Him through love songs! My love for God/Jesus keeps on growing as I continue to pursue Him. During the night God wakes me up at certain times with either a word from Him and/or a dream. So here’s my journal entry for today..
In a dream I saw my friend S waving to me and she had a big smile on her face. She was playing some kind of sport like tennis; she had a racket and a small green ball, and she bounced the ball.
12:32 I saw a woman wearing my black and white plaid skirt with my white runners (I know she represents me, so I’ll wear that skirt this Sunday. She was at the back of a store by the changing rooms. One of my legs was behind the other as she was leaning a bit and smiling. The change rooms were behind the lady; she was facing the wall that separated the change rooms from the front of the store. Today I watched the last episode (16) of Crash Landing On You.
12:40 A mom was sitting on the floor and her kid came walking into the room, holding a teddy bear I think. This morning at Shopgym the coach said something about the Teddybear, referring to one of the exercises. We did a bear crawl and then three of us sat on the floor, holding a weight straight above our heads, needing to keep our arms straight above to prepare us for a handstand hold by the wall.
12:43 “I feel like you abandoned me.”
1:25 “wait for her”
3:44 I had a short dream but I forgot it because I didn’t write it down right away.
3:15 “This love is a, band of gold”
4:08 stairs going up (two part stairs (short) with a landing in between)
6:13 “All the Angels cry, Holy. All creation cries, Holy. You will always be, Holy, Holy forever!”
7:14 A vague dream about a hand pushing back the big truck.
7:17 A dream about going into a small room (from the back door) that was behind a bigger room; reminding me of a bakery. The front room was very bright.
7:25 “youth “ “everyone wants to be in the group”
7:26 “Reaches out to Niverville”
7:28 “cope” or “hope” Seeing a big room like the one at The Village close to Birds Hill Park.
7:30 Ambulances (I heard the word)
7:39 A vague picture of seeing a dump truck that was filled to the top with a big clump of dirt, being emptied. Vaguely seeing my friend with her hands open.
7:44 Vaguely seeing the teal colour of my tote bag, maybe the bottom of my bag.
Bella and I will be going to the city today to buy a dress for our friends wedding. I opened my Bible to the verse above.. Love and Blessings…
September 13: 3:57 (I think.. it could have been a one instead of the three. In the morning I saw the 57 beside the 13) I dreamt of seeing a long sweet pepper.
4:43 “We were just kids when we fell in love, not knowing what it was. I will not give you up this time. Darling just kiss me slow, your heart is all I own. And in your eyes you’re holding mine…”
4:50 “I have faith in what I see…”
Tomorrow the compost site is open so I’ll take out the garbage, thinking to buy a plant… The other night I had heard the word “abandoned.” I don’t feel abandoned by Jesus because I know that I’m secure with him and I trust in his love. As I’m reading the boundaries book I understand more about how a relationship should be like. The last few years I’ve begun to do more of the things I enjoy, needing to have freedom to make friends and hang out with them every couple of months (and talk with them every Sunday at church). I’ve also needed the freedom to follow the Holy Spirit and discover more of the things I enjoy through the things He asks me to do. I’ve been walking in this but there’s always been strong opposition, and I’ve also needed to resist my own inner resistance because the Lord always leads me further away from my comfort zone, though my comfort zone keeps stretching as a result, which is so good! I believe as this happens, my faith grows too, including my love for God and knowing His love deep in my heart, resulting in me knowing God and Jesus as my husband better. I’ve gone through so much inner healing, and I feel so much more alive than I’ve ever been before. I’ve grown in who God has created me to be through following the Holy Spirit, following Jesus and learning deeply what love is. I’ve been able to spend a lot of time with God. Anyway, these are my thoughts today. I went to pick up the tire; nearby was a big red wooden chair so I thought I’d stop and take a photo:) I also stopped at the Landing site where the Mennonites first landed in Manitoba:) I believe my heart has finally landed deeper in God, and I can hardly wait to grow in what this means…I have a live Q&A with Ana Werner tonight at 6.. Blessings…🫰🏼
Sept 14: 2:36 “We’ll sing the song forever to the Lamb..”
2:44 “A thousand generations, falling down and worship, will sing this song forever to the Lamb.”
5:20 “All who’ve gone before us, and all who will believe, will sing this song forever to the lamb.”
I dreamt that I was in my car, backing up and my friend’s car was behind me. I almost hit her car but I put on the brakes just in time, and then I began driving forward.
11:05 On the way home from the city in a dream I saw someone’s hand take a square candy from a package like Starburst or Halls. The candy had red wrapping around it. A little before that I dreamt about seeing red. At Stella’s I had the Maple Caramel French Toast with a banana, blueberries and orange juice.
11:45 Cleaning a spot off of the back of the couch with a rag and water.
11:47 A bus was about to come. I was in a house and a girl had a binder and maybe some books in her arms.
11:50 I was in a man’s house, taking care of his mom who was sick and was laying in bed. I saw him walking in the door. I had a knowing that he trusted me as I took care of his mom. It was a positive atmosphere.
12:12 I had just opened up our pantry and I saw two cereal boxes, one yellow (reminds me of Cheerios) and one red; they were right next to each other with no space in between. The red one was to the right. I’m sensing to wear my red dress tomorrow and sit in the second row to the right…
12:15 I was opening up a heavy light brown bathroom door. Swinging it open towards me and I think I walked through the door. This afternoon has been a bit emotional just because I normally don’t get what I’m supposed to get. But Im going to stand on scripture and declare Gods truth over me. I’ve got this..❤️🔥
Sept 15: 3:59 “I know you won’t, you won’t let me go…” (I can trust Jesus)
4:03 “I know you won’t, you won’t let me go…” (Then I got up and went downstairs to pray and look over my notes.)
5:49 “Do you understand what I mean?” (Someone exclaiming with excitement, “you will not believe what happened!!”)
5:57 Papa, please help me to understand what You mean! Then I went back into my notes and understood that the garage sales represent the ministry expo.. I hope I understand everything…
6:46 seeing a gravel parking lot with short green weeds. There were a few cars parked but I had a feeling like this was morning and the cars were going to go out of the parking lot and was nearly empty. I saw a child skipping/running on the street in excitement. The parking lot was nearby a major highway in a city. (The area beside the garage has weeds)
6:52 I saw an opened fridge that had lots of food. I also saw it had lots of water.
I dreamt something about wet mud (the Mennonite landing site had slippery mud by the water bank)
7:02 Someone was lifting me up by my legs, kind of bouncing me. We were by a garage and I was looking onto the roof by the eaves troughs. Then he put me onto the ground. Then I had a light grey camera in my hands and I was walking back to him and I asked him to lift me up again because I wanted to take a picture. And he said sure. It was a sunny day.
7:23 I was sitting at a table with a horizontal computer monitor in front of me. It was facing to the right and I leaned over and turned it to face directly in front of me; I tapped it so that I would see only the screen to focus on the screen and not anything else (so the screen was clean of anything else). Then I waited for it to go on; I was going to paint a picture of what I would see. I knew there was a camera in the corner with my husband watching. (Going into the editing room)
7:31 “I’m not sure.. here, here mom” My son was walking from our vehicle with keys in his hand, and he had his arm out as he was walking towards me for me to take the keys. I had a feeling like I was walking away from the vehicle and my son in my dream was quickly walking towards me, like walking (running) after me to give me the key. (Shower meaning going to a wedding shower…)
7:37 I tied a tight knot on a white plastic bag. I faintly heard “her brother’s in town” Tying the knot
7:39 “I don’t know, do you want to?” Someone came and sat beside me; (do you want a piece? I didn’t remember this one)
7:42 “You’re never gonna let me go…”
7:45 I saw someone singing with her mouth wide open, showing that she was singing with all her heart. I sang with all my heart, raising my arms high.
7:49 I got up from laying on the ground, and I was brushing off the debris from my pants.
7:51 There was an album with thick rings on the table. It had some pictures on the front cover. One of the pictures was an older man who had a military hat on. (A photo like this in the sermon)
7:57 “I’m sorry pop, I don’t have any energy”
8:00 I saw a lady with white hair who had a red shirt on. She was busy doing something; I didn’t see what she was doing but I had a feeling it had something to do with plants, like she was putting it on the table. (I’m planning on going to the Farmers Market to buy a plant.
I was kind of awake when I was imagining /seeing a picture of an airplane coming in to land and seeing someone standing in the middle of the landing strip. Seeing someone running there to get him out of the way so the plane could land, saying that the plane is almost out of gas. The first thought was to keep on descending and making the person get out of the way or flying back up. Then I imagined the plane flying back up, but if I have my way then I’m going to keep coming, even if I make a crash landing… wondering if because the lady running to the man standing there, yelling for him to get out of the way, wondering if God is giving me grace that I didn’t ask if the person wanted a piece?
8:12 I saw someone turning the pages of a white booklet and seeing a red C on the pages to show that it was all good and all done!! (Communion person had a C on his cap and a crown on his gold chain/linked together)
8:23 vaguely seeing an older person sitting on an older person’s lap. I saw some photos of kids sitting on parents’ lap.
8:28 I stepped up onto a short light brown piece of 2X4 that was standing up.(stepped onto the first step of the stage and stepping up onto and into the editing room.
What brings me comfort is my dream that I was in Jesus’ home and that he was walking through the door or he walked through the door. I was lighthearted in my dream and I saw that Jesus was also lighthearted, despite that “his mom” was sick in bed. The things I think I got was to sit beside my pastor, stepping up and walking along a narrow “ridge,” helping with Soar (one of the garage sales in my dream), lifting up the table cloth (dream), walking around the whole room once, signing up for something(dream) (communion-union), buying a cappuccino and raspberry danish (dream), using my mug so Jesus/people could see it (dream), talking with someone about the monitor (monitor in dream), stepping up into the back editing rooms ( I’m thinking this is what stepping onto the short 2X4 represented and I thought stepping onto the first step represented that, which I only thought about during the service), then completing the circle and going back up to the “garage” where my friends were. Then I answered the question, with help that it was a danish, a surprise question. I’m so ready to step into the new and leave the old behind. I’m wondering if the two-part stairwell has something to do with this coming Sunday? Or because in my dream I was in his home and he had come home indicate that it’s done? On the way home I was sobbing in my heart and I sensed PEACE in big letters. Tonight we’re going to finish “The Two Towers.” The two stumps (one beside the house and the other on that side but right in front of the garden) are gone; now deciding to cement or put gravel. ❤️🔥😭
I just wanted to say that I have a sense of hope that God will make a way for me to be able to follow completely… hopefully this next time. Goodnight…